Deadly Art
by Universal Sweetheart
Summary: Itori has a friend in the nature of taboo; a human friend. What's more out of the ordinary than their relationship of being best friends, is this mere woman catching the attention or the sadistic n mysterious Uta who curiously wants to play the game of love. Now Kaisa Teressi steps into the world of ghouls in the hands of her best friend and a man she she dangerously attracted to.
1. Art Ink and Bar Drinks

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **This Fan Fic is of my sole ownership and imagination.**

 **Leave your comments below and follow and favorite!**

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 **Chapter 1**

 **Art Ink and Bar Drinks**

The clamp pressed hardly on the skin and the sensation lingered throughout my body as I watched him release the object and moved to his little table beside him while on his wheeled stool. A sharp eye I gave to my best friend who held my hand grinning like crazy.

"It won't hurt I swear." Itori said smiling that angelic smile of hers.

Which also meant something will happen but ' _I will be here for you'_.

"That's not the issue here, I was wondering if-"

"The needle is sterilized-no STDs, viruses or whatever, you will be safe trust me."

I gave her the ' _Are-You-Sure?'_ look as my lips wobbled. I gave this a few more internal second-thoughts. I was scared. I was worried. I was wondering if this was at this point….the right choice.

I jolted nearly jumping out my own skin when I felt his skin on my tummy, his finger pressing inward on my navel as he held the needle in his hand and looked at the area from different angles.

He looked up at me and gave a warm smile. "Relax, trust me, I've been doing this for eight years I can practically get the job done with my eyes closed."

"I rather you not close your eyes then if I can beg to differ."

He blinked and then laughed as he looked up at my best friend.

"Where the hell you got _her_ from?" He asked as he pressed the needle on the skin. I was looking at it but trust me I could not feel a single thing. Fact was he numbed the area about 10 minutes ago but I could only imagine the feeling of that sharp object pressed against the unbroken- well- soon to be broken skin.

"I found her in a corner under the sheets talking to her teddy bear that I will say, goes with her everywhere up to this day."

He paused, "Huh."

"I-It was in junior high, it was gym practice; I didn't want to take part so I hid in the faculty room and that teddy bear is my only friend it's not like it goes _everywhere._ " I defended, my tone full of attitude yet still that _was_ where she found me.

"Really…" She said turning away looking at my black and gold handbag resting on the table next to the door. The zipper open and my teddy bear's arm sticking out.

Guilty.

Okay…..so maybe I still carry it everywhere even though I'm twenty, but come on it's an attachment. I sighed and inhaled deeply only for the air to come out faster than I even expected.

"Ah!" I yelped as I felt the needle go straight through my skin.

He stabbed me; he flipping stabbed me with the needle!

"How did you feel that, I completely numbed the skin?" He said with a puzzled expression. "You weren't supposed to feel that."

"I **wasn't** supposed to feel that!"

"Yeah she _weren't_ supposed to have felt that, ugghh, blood." Itori pointed out as a little bit of blood trickled from the wound and the gun looking instrument he used made another clicking sound as he pulled the needle from the bottom and placed the navel ring in the lock and released it. He moved the gun away for me to see the ring nicely placed in its area, gosh what a device that was, surely saved me the trouble of feeling him pushing the ring through the newly pierced hole.

"There you go- your navel piercing." He said to me. I'm sure I remember his name Gavon…Gary…Gavandor?

"Looks great~" Itori complimented resting her hand on her hip looking at the ring as I blinked a couple times…it does look kind of…cool. "Like it?" Itori asked as I sat up while the guy dealt with much smaller issues such as wiping off the clamper, throwing the needle in a bag, clearing the desk for the next customer- just doing his regular professional stuff.

"I guess," I answered her not really one to be over descriptive in situations where I have been hurt. Thank god for numbers.

I stood up pulling my shirt down and went for my bag. This is my 2nd piercing since month and before this month counting so far since the year, this was my fifth.

"Hey- don't forget to come back to me when you want to get that tongue piercing done." The guy said to me grinning from ear to ear as his dimple piercings surely added to his smile. As overly tattooed and pierced as he was, he was really nice and easy going, I can see why Itori referred him to me. You certainly shouldn't judge people by their appearance.

"Once this one is completely healed and I get a week or two of lay-way period." I said smiling to him.

"Govenor, say when is the earliest period I can get that thing?" Itori said making small talk as I gathered my stuff going through my bag. I had class in the next 45 minutes which meant I had a good period of gazing and probably squeezing in a ten minute sleep. On second thought, no ten minute sleep.

Once I gathered everything I turned to check out the two who were talking stuff I never really paid much attention to. As far as I knew Itori was a friendly and easy going person. She knew any and every one and was well acquainted with anything and everything around her, so her talking with people nearly everywhere we went was a norm for me. Plus, because of her connections I benefitted as well.

"Kaichi~ Time to go, I'm starving~"

"Of course you are. That was sarcasm right?" I asked as she hugged me from behind.

We left Pins and Needles saying bye to Govenor who stood waving us off at the store door before closing it and flipping the open sign.

"We're his last customers?"

"Huh- Oh- He has something to take care of so he shall be closing up early."

"Oh okay, so tonight, are we still gonna go to the club, please say no…"

She paused and looked at me, "No."

"Why do we have- wait, did you say no-"

"Yes, unfortunately some old group is having a get together at my bar so my hands will be tied." She said with a loud sigh.

Itori had a bar it was really classic and nice I loved the décor and all but I wasn't frequently welcomed. She commented on dangerous men being her customers so for my safety I shouldn't visit as often but even then, there she was working, owning and serving at the bar as a bartender. Now…who is in real danger?

"Why your place?" I questioned. Her bar wasn't the famous type but it went as good as being well known. For a university student even I have heard some of my colleagues mention it stating it as a high-class and exquisite bar of high taste. Yet, no one really went there for group gathering.

"They are distant friends of mine."

"Hmph, of course they are." I said making a puffy face.

"Awww Kaichi don't tell me you're jealous? You are my favorite of them all~" She said smothering me with that heavy affection in her voice lacing her fingers in mines hugging my hand tightly.

"Nuu…" I said fanning her away, "I'm not jealous. Let me help out."

"Huh?" She halted in her steps her red hair blowing in the wind as she leaned over to me so close I could see deep into her eyes. "Are you crazy!" She exclaimed poking me in the forehead. I lost my balance and crash landed into the café sign that was put up in front the café with the menu and special written all over.

"Why would I be crazy?" I said from below looking up at her a few people staring but at the moment I was more fixed on her instead of being embarrassed.

"You know you can't come there I tell you it's a danger-"

"But you work there." I pointed out.

She paused and looked at me. She smiled softly and stooped down giving me a hand pulling me up with the strength I still couldn't understand how she had and pulled me into a **tight** hug.

"If anything happened to my little kaichi I would dieeeeeee~"

"And then you would come back to life and kill the person who killed me." I said in a monotone voice. Over exaggerating isn't she?

"Ahhhhhhh! Don't talk about someone killing you, just to see your limp body lying on the ground blood all over you soaking on the floor with you smothered with blood all over your clothes and face!"

"Gahhh okay okay people are staring stop stop!"

She released me and I fixed my clothes looking up at her, she was a little taller than me especially days like this when she was in heels.

Curse you Itori-curse you and the fact that you can wear heels and not fall, have a perfect body figure, swoon any guy over that you want and at the same time be sexy and dangerous. But I was still in training. I won't lose hope in my potential.

"Fine," I said telling her what she wanted to hear, "I have class soon, let's get something to eat."

She smiled and we went into the café.

"Itori and Kaisa chan please be careful not to break the sign" Kaneki said to me smiling as I blushed embarrassed.

"Of course not I-"

"Kaisa san doesn't have such a heart" Yoshimaru said coming from behind the counter he was brewing some coffee. I swear I have been coming to Anekui for 2 years straight and this old man doesn't look like he even aged a second. "It's a pleasure to have you as usual, shall it be your favorite or your special?"

I smiled. "My favorite please." I replied to him since I was a regular here and he knew me better than I even knew myself- food relating…ly.

"And Miss Itori?" He asked looking over at her- she was digging through her handbag before finding an envelope.

"AHA!" she exclaimed pulling the envelope out and handed it to him.

"Oh?"

"I forgot to hand it to you the last time, remember, you requested it last week Friday"

He looked at it questionable for a while before his expression relaxed, "Ah of course, but Miss Itori this should be dropped off tomorrow morning"

She smiled at him as she had a little sign of embarrassment on her face, "Ah yes but, tonight will be a full night at the bar and I don't want it to be late or left out of schedule."

"Ah, very good witted and thoughtful as always Miss Itori I shall get ahead of my schedule as well. As for your regular order it will be on the house."

"Thank you~"

I watched him move to take another order before going back to behind the counter.

"Today seems a bit empty where is everyone?" I asked to Itori who was humming softly to herself.

"Oh, don't you know every end of month they have to personally go pick up the imported coffee beans."

"Oh, well I don't mind, the coffee here tastes like heaven, so however far or high I won't argue- it must be retrieved." I said smiling.

After having coffee Itori and I went to the train station and both boarded different trains. Coming off at my stop I went to the University.

I was a Fine Art student pursuing my career in being an artist. It was something I enjoyed, something I loved, something I was very passionate about. Few of my artwork I sold to Itori to put in her bar and most to my customers in the market who are interested in my forte.

Other than my artwork, my other source of income was well…it wasn't something you would bravely say but I take…elicit photos. A girl has to work for her doe. (Something Itori taught me)

But likewise Itori and I were in the same business but for a picture half naked the money does pay well. Itori invests it in her bar while I invest it in the fact that I live alone, I have artistic needs and my basic living. I lived alone at an apartment building and sometimes Itori would stop by especially when we were younger. Itori and I go way back to kindergarten and if she never reached out for me, I can say without shame that I would be living under a rock right now. But honestly I loved the company of myself especially as an orphan where I grew up having only me, myself and I.

Itori basically exist as one of the only humans who knew me through and through. Since this year my resolution was being fulfilled by her in pulling me out of my shell by doing things I admire. Most people would see it as dangerous but I had dark sides of me. I loved tattoos, piercings, nearly all the forms of music and drinking.

Speaking of piercings. The minute I sat before my canvas I felt the stinging sensation in my tummy meaning the numbing cream wore off and my body was physically accepting the fact that it has been once more, since this year, penetrated, _piercing-ly_ \- if there is such a word in piercings context. No other penetration going on here!

I smiled to myself; at least I was getting to do the things I loved. Couple hours passed and I made much progress on my unfinished piece that I was submitting as my finale.

It was the visual of a man pulling his chest sewn up by a very large needle that was pierced through his heart. On his head was a bag with two dark holes and in the background the sight of a road littered with the disfigured bodies of humans moving around. It was done using acrylic paint by a 120X80cm sized canvas, I was thinking of calling it _The Changing_ or maybe to bring out the significance of the needle and thread, _The Tailor's Virus_. The choices were numerous. *****

I covered my work cleaning the area it was minutes after 8. Once again I got carried away with my work of art. I went to the women bathroom a few University girls coming out one stall. I caught a glance of a lighter in her hand and the faint scent of cigarettes in the air. I sighed and moved to the face basin washing off my hands. I paused staring in the mirror. I was in long fitted black denim jeans, my purple checkered jacket wrapped around my waist and a black crop top saying 'I kissed your mother last night' in blue running ink on the front. I lifted the shirt and looked at the piercing. It looked better than I imagined it to; as a matter of fact it looked quite hot.

I quickly washed my hands, ran my fingers through my messy bun with a few leave-outs at the back and sides and left the bathroom. I made my way back to the art room I moved so briskly I swore I was gonna bolt down the hallway if something startled me.

I feel nervous.

I pushed the university doors outwards moving down the staircase and off the campus grounds. I grabbed my phone from out my bag. Yes I was slightly paranoid and yes I am scared shitless right now. To be honest, I had a feeling someone was stalking me. This is the second time.

First was when I was at the grocery store on Sunday and I went in the freezer section to get some frozen fish fillet and now it happened again. My fingers tapped friskily on the screen trying to get Itori to see if she would pick up.

I stopped at the bus stop and waited a good while hoping to hear the ringing come to a stop. Instead it went straight to voicemail. Damn it. Okay I needed to calm down there was no reason to get riled up over this. I need to relax.

The door opened and Itori blinked at me a couple times.

"W-Why are you here?"

"To help you." I said looking up at her. We were at the backdoor of the bar in the empty alley way and I had knocked on the door for around a good 3 minutes till she finally responded.

"Only you would knock my door like that, you're lucky I have a good sense of hearing, now get in here its dark out there"

"R-Right."

She closed the door behind us and turned to me rubbing her forehead. "You shouldn't be here."

"I know, but, can I help you?"

"What happened to going straight home-"

"Can I?" I asked cutting her off. I was scared; right now she was the only person I wanted to be around.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the locker area. She started ruffling through a locker in the employee area and I took off my bag and jacket.

"Put on this." She said as she handed me a thigh length dress that had a ruby red corset top with black sheer sleeves and collar with the waist down-black ruffles with red embroideries. I removed everything quickly and put it on.

She undid the bun as I felt my hair fall on my shoulders making me feel instantly shy. "Don't worry, I just want to ensure you look nothing like you do out on the streets" She said as she pulled the sides to the back clipping it with pin. "The schedule is tight don't talk to anyone out there but at the same time be friendly" She said smiling as she combed through my hair putting a few strands over my shoulder. I turned to her and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror inside the locker. "Wear this" She said giving me a half face masquerade mask. I tied the strings and applied the red lipstick and smiled brightly.

"Who are you?" She question smiling

I laughed and looked in the mirror.

We both stepped out entering the bar from behind the counter. She was right. Tonight was a full night.

"New bartender?" A man questioned looking at me smirking. He had light blonde hair and wore a business like suit. His charisma however was loud and straightforward.

" **She's new**." Itori said resting a mug of red wine on the table and I swore the counter shook under her actions as I saw an awkward moment before me.

"I see." was all he said taking the mug drinking.

She talked to a few people as she pulled out some glasses, shook around the mixer and made a quick few glances around the shop. I did the same except no people-talking. I looked around the shop there were a few men glancing at me, some were talking, some never noticed me, either way I felt a bit awkward. I liked drinking yes, but my drinking was wine and I never loved being around so many…men.

A bar surely was hectic the air was thick. I felt rushed but maybe it was because I was the one behind the counter for them I'm sure it was an easy going occasion feeling relaxed and all.

"Kaichi, 4 cups with ice, 2 with none and 3 with lemon slices"

"…..huh"

"… **Kaichi** …"

"C-C-Coming right up!" I said as her glare was enough to keep the request burnt down in my head and knowing instantly what that meant. I got the nine glasses out and began getting to work. Bartending wasn't easy, especially when you're the assistant. I do the glass getting, ice filling, side sharing and cleaning up of the counter. But from what I saw Itori had it harder getting the stylish shakings and pouring.

"If everyone orders red wine shouldn't you call it Helter Skelter Red Wine Bar and not just a bar?" I whispered to her as I passed her filling the ice container with a new bag of ice.

She grinned, "It's just something most people have when they come here."

"I guess I should try it too." I said, "When I have the time but not now when I can't even feel the tip of my fingers…" I joked as she laughed and helped me with the bag.

"This is 50 pounds so be careful" She said taking it from me and I smiled nodded, "No problem Itori of the strength of a thousand men." I teased bringing up her notorious high school name.

She smiled at me and I got the handy towel wiped off the glass counter chiseled by the water of cold drinks. I paused when a glass rested on the surface and I looked up at the customer.

"Oh- Would you like…..another…" I blinked a couple times as I looked at the man before me.

He was pale skinned, wore a side cut hair style with a medium length side bang. His hair was a silky black, but wasn't as black as his eyes with small red irises surrounded by red veins that melted into the abyss blackness of his sclera. He had an eyebrow and lip piercing and from his arms I could see various designs of tattoos across his skin. I swallowed.

I stared at him and he looked back before looking down at the glass."Pardon?"

"R-Right a refill." I said embarrassed as hell. He ordered the red wine I swallowed deeply.

"Ice…no ice?" I asked. My arms were shaking and even though he couldn't see my lower half I was wiping my hand on my dress nervously. "I-I mean, yes of course ice who wants a warm drink?" I said with a nervous smile as I moved to the ice container picking up the scooper and the glass I stepped back and he was still looking at me very intently as well. Then, he suddenly smirked.

The glass slipped out my hand and crashed onto the floor breaking.

The bar went silent.

Holy….shit

The classic music in the background even stopped as the sound of the record changing filled the bar and everyone was looking at me.

"I-Its okay" I said aloud, "Glasses break all the time, No need to stare because the glass fell" I said with a reassuring smile I could hear Itori hissing under her breath as she ruffled through a draw.

"Isn't it because you got hurt" The guy suddenly said and I looked at him and everyone around me kept staring. For some reason I felt they were staring for the same purpose. I felt the stinging feel on my ankle, one of the splinters pricking me.

"Be more careful kai-chan" Itori said stooping downwards as she began pulling it out. I held a straight face but lost it the minute I felt the splinter completely out she put a band aid over it.

"That's what you were looking for…in the draw?"

"Yes, now, get moving; it's a bar not an auction-not because she's the prettiest thing here doesn't mean we should stare!" She said smiling. A couple of the men grinned as I smiled shyly to myself. Itori surely knows how to lighten the mood.

"Here you go." I said handing him the glass of wine.

"…Thank you."

"Your welcome, I'm sorry about that incident…" I said trying to at least start a conversation. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

" _U-chan-_ wear your god damn shades you have them for a reason!"

He frowned, "But I don't want to wear them when I'm in the bar."

"No but because of you, _Uta_ , look what you caused-" She said cleaning a glass. The speed in the bar calmed down a bit and a few people began leaving.

He looked at me and for a good while.

"It's okay, I like his eyes." I said looking at Itori and then back at him, I didn't want to stare too hard.

"You're complimenting his eyes?" Itori said questioning me.

"Yes, he got the sclera tattooed, or its contact right?"

She looked at me smiling, "Right."

"Yes, it's really artistic, reminds me of Souvilan Decartis of 1743 who soaked his tongue in paint to make it black and carved the initials of his name and birth on his tongue."

"Ugggh, art talk, stop."

"No…continue." Uta said looking at me.

I turned to him and swallowed deeply. He just told me to continue. Okay.

"Oh, well most people don't really know of him, but he ahh, he believed that Judgemen.t Day already took place, heaven had passed and the place we were living, earth, was hell, and he was demonifing himself expressing his true nature to emancipate his true form. Umm…I never knew there were people who knew about him, do you like art"

"He _does_ it." Itori said walking pass me with a crate of empty wine bottles. "Now, this bar won't serve itself, so **get to work** "

I nodded. Itori scolded me for chit-chatting with a customer nuuuuuuu.

I continued working and every time he finished a glass he would rest it on the counter and I would refill it: three ice cubes, warm red wine, ¼ inch from the surface. As soon as I rested it there his hand reached for it almost in perfect timing and every chance I got, I stole a look at him. I would turn away and refill other glasses but through them I could see the reflection of him; his body leaning against the counter, his elbows resting on the surface, his mind in the clouds but his head turned in my direction. How could I say this, I felt like he was intently watching me, but don't call me scared, I never said I didn't like it.

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 **Hope the readers enjoy this as much as I did writing it. I have a lot of ideas and creativity to exhibit throughout this story so please stick around to be entertained and please, do not forget to review. It is your concerns and ideas and of course words of that motivates me.**

 ***: this was actually on of my art piece!**

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	2. For the sake of ART

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Please leave a review so I can hear your thoughts and comments :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **For the sake of ART**

"So?"

"Huh…I….well…"

"Talk."

I swallowed. Itori had a scary face, one that made me feel like a nervous wreck and also like if I said something she didn't want to hear she would kill me.

"You rushed here before getting home. Kaisa Terresi, I know you. **What. Happened.** "

"W-Well, I think I'm being stalked."

"Huh…Is this that boy from your art room who nearly molested you, I did take care of him he was delicious."

"Huh- wait what?"

"Let's just say he won't be coming around next to you."

"Coming around? I already told you. A couple days after he locked me in the art room and tried that thing he was found in the alley and his right leg was gone, it's said something chopped it off probably a killer with a machete or something, all I know he's in a wheel chair…poor Soma, he was a good figure painter."

"Yeah sure, the story of the public."

"…umm okay" I said uneasy, was she talking codes or something but this was better than the evilness she was emitting.

"Back to the main subject at hand. **Talk**."

Spoke too quick didn't I?

I sighed.

"No, not him, there is a guy I think, I haven't even seen his face, got a glimpse of him in a hoodie when I was shopping for grocery on Sunday and yesterday I swore I felt he was stalking me." I said softly the thought alone made me feel scared all over as i remembered the fright I felt at seeing him.

"A guy…." She said looking at me inhaling deeply before walking closer to me and lifting my face to her eye level. She seemed to calm down a bit but I on the other hand felt a little riled up.

"Can you be a bit more descriptive?"

"He was wearing a hoodie, I think a mask was underneath, it was something colorful…couldn't see his face."

She nodded slowly, "I see." She folded her arms deep in thought.

"I was being careful as you taught me. I always lock the door, always have my keys, I carry the knife, I keep check of my surroundings…"

"I know, I know...I know you do." She said giving me a reassuring smile. "Next time don't hesitate to tell me something so important I won't hurt you."

"You won't? I mean, well with that expression you had earlier I swore you were going to kill me." I said rising off the stool.

She hugged me tightly and I knew that this conversation wasn't just a regular conversation. I knew this conversation had to deal with how paranoid I was due to my past. But Itori has always been here for me so me being in these situations bring back memories and stir fear inside me but for her I know it's not easy to watch me go down that road again.

"I have to ensure you're safe and happy." She said pulling away looking at me.

"I know… as safe as a padlock as happy as a lark." I mumbled in her embrace

She pulled away looking at me. "Okay bar is closed we need to clean up, oh is your ankle okay?"

"It's perfect I can't even feel a thing."

She smiled and moved away and I stood there for a moment inhaling and exhaling deeply. If someone was really stalking me I should take the upper hand of being more careful.

We went back into the bar and I began cleaning the counter. There were a couple one and two people around and they seemed pretty laid back and drunk as well. I moved from around the counter to the small tables picking up the empty glasses the place smelt like alcohol and rum.

"Hey pretty miss." A guy said handing me a glass as I rest it on the tray I carried taking the others up from around his table of small friends. "You're a good looking lady, why don't we-"

"I'm in a relationship."

His eyes widened his friends beside him chuckled as they bummed fist and nudged him, some act of ' _Shame, but don't give up'_. I watched people far too well to know body movements.

"Maybe we should sharpen up that mouth of yours, your replied faster than I thought, plus why not come with me I mean- turning me down is so harsh."

"You're not even my type. I'm taken, get lost."

I walked off taking the empty glasses with me, moving to around the counter resting them in the box to go to the wash area for them to be cleaned.

"If your arms are shaking that much he'll realize it took a lot out of you to act bad ass." Itori said passing me as she helped me with all the glasses.

"Shhhhh don't let him hear." I said looking over my shoulder from behind my mask at him before turning back. "W-Where's Uta?"

"Huh- U Chan? He left not too long ago." She said as she emptied her tray in the box as well before lifting it and moving it to the portable trolley before getting a new box to fill. "Why do you ask?"

"Cause…"I began getting some other glasses putting them in the box gently not wanting then to brake, "…cause I think he's really hot." I said in a matter-of-fact tone my voice changed to becoming very soft but I knew she heard. "L-Like, I like his tattoos, they're very…exotic, and he has one of the most well developed bone structure I've ever seen- like his jaw line and smooth-delicate looking cheekbones…and his eyes…wow, they pull me to him…" I said having a mental heat wave as the passion in me gave my entire body a strong desire to grab my sketch book and draw him nearly a thousand times if that's what it took to get this sense of longing out of me. "like…" I paused and turned to her.

She was staring at me point blank her face empty of any sign of excitement or teasing of that sort it was just mere…shock.

I swallowed, "W-What?"

She blinked a couple times almost like coming out of shock bringing herself to reality. "I've never seen you like this- it's like….like the day we went to that Art Gallery you wanted to visit and you got so excited, just not so much obsession like that time."

"It's not excitement." I said smiling softly to myself as I felt my cheeks getting hot. "I think I just….have a crush on him."

"Aummm, no you don't- what you are having is just an artistic moment when you want to draw something you've never seen."

I gave it a thought I mean I did feel like I want to draw him but at the same time, I kind of liked him. "But"

"Not a crush~" she sang

"But"

"You, Kaisa Terresi struggling to get her piercings done without throwing a mini fit, practicing to be more open and leave her shell, trying her best to use her outer more than her inner voice….towards Uta, strong sleeve tattoos on both arms, decorated upper body, completely goth, all pierced, fearless and feared…. **Drawing** "

-cue the death of my confidence, pride, hope, prosperity, femininity, short lived 34 minute love life and ego-

"B-But"

"You just want to draw him. Trust me."

I pouted, "Well….I'm sure your right." I mumbled as I sighed making the puppy dog face. She looked at me and facepalmed.

"It's just that he is not your ty-"

-Wobbly lips-

"Well let's say he was-your still-"

-Sniffle noises-

"Fine maybe at 0.89% in this lifetime but the odds are still gre-"

-Whimper noises-

She smiled, "So let's say, you do like him…do you want to meet him ag-"

"Definitely!" I said suddenly as she jolted nearly dropping the glasses in her hand

"Kaichi!"

"S-Sorry, I just got really excited..."

She gave me the side eye as she put the glass in the half filled box and took some empty beer bottles putting them in the crater below. "Getting excited over U Chan~ you little art freak."

I stuck my tongue out at her and we both giggled laughing amongst ourselves as we cleaned up,

A couple days passed and today was Saturday. Since I never had classes on weekend today I was allowed to cruise in my apartment and relax, well at least until it was time for work. I posted the last of my work online as I submitted the small critique and logged out the account. I closed the laptop screen and sighed to myself. I would check the reviews and bidding prices in the morning.

I unfolded my leg and got out my lounge chair flopping down in my bed as it bounced a little under my weight. I stared into the ceiling humming to myself the distant sound of the music playing from the living room filling up the silence of my apartment making me hum to the tune and putting me in a lighter mood.

Yesterday I spent most if not all my day at the art room getting the final touches on my piece. Afterwards I had to meet a sales officer who spoke to me about some of my work circulating the black market and how I needed to expand my resources. In other words my work wasn't getting the recognition it deserved and maybe I should make it become higher quality and not so…normal. I wasn't in for much conversation I just nodded and gave small responses where needed since the day before that I spent half my day sleeping and the next half with Itori at the photoshoot.

All the tiredness I was feeling drifted off from the night at the bar. I rose out bed taking my phone off the sheets and into my back pocket as I moved to the other room. My art studio.

I stared at the numerous papers on the floor. I ran my hand through my hair staring at the mess at my feet charcoals lying everywhere pencils and different sheets all over the place.

The night I came home from the bar I immediately began drawing Uta from my memory. No matter how many times I ruthless murdered every sketch and start a next one there was a new fault to face. His face shape, the contouring of light against his body, his arms his jaw line. After every success there was a new feature I couldn't perfect. I never stopped-I wanted perfection, I wanted something that I could look at and know that's exactly how he looked. I swallowed as I moved to the chair before the board structure that held the sheet in place to be pressed on with a little table beside it for the equipment to be placed in.

I lifted the blank sheet off my covered work. It was my success piece. My hand moved over the piece black charcoal staining the tips of my finger as I bit my bottom lip looking down at the work. I sat on the stool my fingers moving over the lines of his face. It was a portrait of his face perfect symmetry throughout every line.

"This isn't even as beautiful as you were on that night…" I swallowed spit and pulled my hand away as I stared at the unfinished section. I couldn't get the eyes done to perfection, which meant it wasn't done. I tried on other rough papers. I moved around barely able to step on ground as I felt paper beneath my feet. I picked them up and looked at them. I was close to the eyes but I couldn't perfect the muscle, the iris- the pitch hollowness of the eyes followed by the unnatural red. The aligning of the organ in the bones, the sockets the space between both eyes they were not. Perfect.

I needed. Perfection.

I looked at it even more before covering it up.

My phone suddenly vibrated making me jolt as I pulled it out my pocket. Great. Look who's calling.

"Hello"

"Ah- you picked up. Listen I need your assistance with something"

"What do you need help with" I asked slipping my hand into my back pockets as I walked around the room be careful as I stepped.

"I won't get to finish my work on time, I really need your help with perfecting my art piece"

"You know I-"

"Pllllleeeeaaase"

I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen, I stared hard at the contact ID, it was my friend from my course. He was to me, one of the very best artists in our class. He was my only friend in my course and he was extremely talented only that he had little confidence in the work he did. But still when I needed a friend at times he was there. Only that I couldn't get too close to him because of Itori.

"Sure."

"Great thanks! Today is Saturday so I'm home-"

"I have work."

"Oh…What about Tuesday?"

"That sounds…perfect."

"Great thank you soooooo much meet up at my place at 2 in the afternoon."

"Sure."

"Great!"

He hung up and I slipped the phone back in my back pocket moving to my kitchen. I never knew why I short-handed myself like that. I mean if I wasn't right, Tuesday were my napping days when I took a nice rest in the afternoon. I sighed loudly going into my fridge taking out my ingredients as I figured I'd probably make something nice and delicious for dinner tonight.

 **Later that day**

"You're right on time~" My supervisor said as I stepped into the photo studio.

"You don't usually make me work on Saturdays" I said to him. His name was Nico. He was gay. And god damn gay I say- very extremely gay.

"Oh Kai-chan, what am I going to do, one of our biggest sponsors has fallen in love with your last pictures and he is _dying_ for more of your work."

"Then let him die, you know I'm not a camera fan- I do it for the quick cash."

"Yes yes _buuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt_ He's offering 50 000 for 2 special request."

Cue me freezing on the spot. "D-Did you j-j-just say….$50,000" I said the value of the amount making me instantly stutter .

"He has a thing for you, I think it's those eyes of yours~" He said clicking his tongue, walking to me his heels clacking on the floor as he slipped the fur scarf over his shoulder. He stopped looking at me pursing his lips.

"Are you in or not." He said the masculinity in his voice suddenly coming out.

"What is the condition? These two special request sound too cliché." I said because of precautious of course.

He pouted, "Oh Kai-chan come on~" He said clasping his hands pleadingly and batting his lashes coming close to my face to the point where it made me uncomfortable.

"Nico, you know I don' take nude pictures and I don't engage in sex for any photoshoot."

He gasped. "Kai chan- don't you think it's a little mean. It's a porn industry of course sex and nudity is welcomed, plus…it's not like I've never seen you naked before."

My cheeks instantly burned red as I remember the day I applied for the job. His first word to me was to strip, and by that, he wanted me to remove _everything_.

I wanted the money. I just moved to the fourth ward and I needed the cash so that I could pay for my apartment to meet the rent and my entire university funds which totaled to $27,000. I had nothing in my name more than $10,850 and my bills came to $4,000 my rent was $12,000, living expenses for the month was around $2,500. Itori introduced me to this job where one picture alone was $8,000 on the medium. Plus if you were good enough for the market you could be like Itori who can sell a picture of her face alone and get $150,000. She was the famous _Red Fox_ for the company and even had her online clothing line plus her bar. A clothing line and a motherfreaking bar. Clothing line. Bar.

I utterly have no life.

"Kai chan. I'm sure you know by now a chance like this won't come very often, $50,000 is a good offer, he wanted $28,000 and of course I had to raise the offer because you are way much worth than that. And using this opportunity like this you could make a stepping stone for even more out there. To reach the very top."

"But I don't want to be on the top. I just want the money for income. To pay my bills, my funds for college, my art career. Nico you know how much those things mean to me."

"Of course I do, and this is why I want you to take this offer, and take the pictures."

I looked at him. He was one of the few close people I had. He was sort of like a father-ew wait no- a overprotective brother to me. He looked out for me and knew how much I wanted my dreams to be real.

"Everyone out." He said as the people in the art studio gave a questioning look, "I said get out before I shove your last pay checks up your ass….. _even though I wouldn't mind you doing it to me instead_ _ooo~_ "

They immediately shuffled out leaving the place empty I'm guessing I was the only person who heard the last part. There was an area set up already with a large kind size bed with white satin sheets. I watched Nico go to the camera area as he fixed the lighting.

"I'll take only two as he requested. One afar, one portrait. I won't take anymore." He said looking at me as I nodded. "Kaisa…you're going to have to take off your clothes…"

I nodded again. I slipped of my clothing down to my bra as the air caused my skin to suddenly become sensitive. I pulled off my underwear and climbed into the bed sitting on my legs. Nico moved to me pulling the sheets up.

"Hold this with your hands; I want to see a lot of skin, but _wanted_ skin, I'm going to need to see your chest."

I nodded once more and he place most of the sheet between my legs as I placed both my hand there turning sideways but facing the camera. I felt embarrassed and ultimately ashamed but I'm sure it was worth it. That money was good enough to pay my university funds for next year, upgrade my art studio equipment, put me at a better standing on the black market for my art pieces and have enough left over for savings. It was in the end…worth it.

He took the picture and I swallowed.

"It was perfect, you look beautiful." He said to me as he took to camera off the stand and moved closer to me. He was calmer now. When it was just us, he would show me the more relaxed and composed side of him and I could see why he chose something like photography. This was his art, his form of expression, unlike me where it was on the paper, he was just- behind the camera.

For that I accepted Nico and knew that we were like two people cut from the same cloth. I was more sad and deep hence my artworks were filled with many dark sides while due to Nico's character there was more expression in the body and it's movement and it was just the way he was.

"Lie on the bed, I'm going to want you to look directly into the eyes of the camera, feel its presence and channel you inner resonance into its ability to capture you, just the way you are."

I laid flat on the bed and looked into the camera and I felt him adjusting my hair moving more over one eye. I felt weird, this felt awkward.

"Do you know why you are so favored in portraits?"

"Because…I'm young?"

"No, well youth shows in your face, but your eyes, this golden yellow and your black hair, maybe it's the fact that your expressions tell a story."

I looked at the camera but through it I could see him, looming over me angling the camera. "….A story?"

 _Click_

"Yes." He said moving off the bed as he went over to the computer area loading up the pictures as he printed them in high quality saved it to the system and logged me into a completed session table on excel.

"Guess that's it." I said grabbing my clothes putting them on as fast as I could and when I was done I hugged myself glad to be back in my skin.

"Your money is in your account, thank you for doing business as always~"

I smiled, "Thank you Nico."

"Anytime Kai chan I'll let you know if he loved it and if he doesn't, just consider him dead."

I laughed as he opened the door telling everyone to come back inside.

I left the photo studio went to the train station and boarded a train. I went in my bag and took out my papers looking at some of the sketches I had with me. I began fine tuning making them more perfect.

Maybe Itori was right. Maybe I didn't like him, maybe I just had a urge to draw him. And now that I was drawing him I did feel satisfied. The train came to a stop and I was to come off on the next. Of course I planned to go straight home but dammit, I want to see Itori….I want to show her my drawings.

I ran out the train doors before they closed and out the train station. I moved quickly to Itori's bar running down the streets avoiding bumping into people.

I pushed the door open coming in from the front entrance as I entered the bar hearing the soothing music and catching a glimpse of Itori behind the counter.

"Itori!"

She turned around. "Kaichi- what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Oh, you seem like you were running everything okay?"

"Yup."

She smiled and pulled a glass out serving up my regular.

"Coming from work, Nico told me he had you come in today I was there this morning, rumor has it you got a good offer."

"Yes- 50 grand" I whispered the amount since that wasn't some value of cash you say out loud.

"Who was the buyer?"

"Didn't ask, I just wanted to get it done and get the money" I said taking the glass drinking the shot of whiskey mixed with vodka and Raseberry Bristine Wine down in a nice gulp. "Refill me. I ran all the way here from the train station."

"I can see, Kaichi! I forgot to tell you- I'm really grateful for the help Tuesday night, come over and cook dinner as a big thank you."

"Sure why not." I said smiling. Wait….aren't you the one to cook the dinner?

"Good because along with that I will be dragging you into shopping." She said winking at me.

"Gahhh of course, I tell you a thousand times I don't need to buy all those pretty clothes!" I yelled at her getting upset, well, I don't wear them they are still in the shopping bags under the bed.

"Yes you do~" She teased refilling me placing the glass before me as she rested against the counter. I was sitting on the stool looking at her I could see the happiness in her eyes. "That dress you wore, admit it, you looked so lovely I could have gobbled you down in one bite, Im sure even U chan was looking at you, especially your body, those long legs and small-"

"Sttttttttoooop~" I said in an outburst covering my cheeks that began burning hot as I got my bag taking out my sketch book pulling up some drawings I did.

"Woah- I wasn't joking, you were itching to draw him." Itori said catching a glimpse.

"I was, and he did come out bad a few times but he came out well after multiple efforts." I said skipping the pages as I did him from various angles and Itori looked at them wide –eyed completely engrossed.

"Such talent…I forgot how amazing you were!"

"Meh, you have people in my class that make my work look like stick figures, but I couldn't help it I still haven't gotten him out my mind" I said smiling. Well, I wasn't the best figure artist. But I still didn't give up on being in the top 5 or so.

She looked at me pausing, "That seriously sounds like a case of love, you might actually like him~"

"I think it's the tattoos and piercings….I don't know him as a person but…"

"Me."

Itori looked beside me and I was looking at the picture I drew but turned around when I heard the voice of someone very familiar. I looked at the corner of the page at the pale skinned finger pressing against the page with the black fingernails and tattoos.

"U chan! You're here!"

I turned around and behind me. There he was. I looked at him and he looked at the page a slight show of intrigue as he furrowed his eyebrows while looking at the picture.

"That's me." He said taking the seat next to me. "May I." He asked picking up my sketch journal with the pages of drawings in it. He held it waiting for my reply on whether or not he could open it.

"A-Ahhh, their just sketches aumm, nothing special."

"Oh…I wanted to see them though."

"Oh well in that case aumm…su-sure."

He opened it and began skipping the pages. He was in shades today and not showing his eyes.

Wait- his eyes, the piece I had at home, maybe if I saw his eyes one last time I could memorize it and complete the piece. I want to do it, I need to see his eyes I just need to see his-

My eyes pulled the glasses off and I didn't even realize my movement. And like that, those dark eyes of black sclera and red irises moved from the page and up to me.

"Kaichi you just-" Itori voice faded as she stood appalled by what I just did.

I wasn't expecting to do that.

She wasn't expecting me to do that.

He never expected me to do something like that.

 _Why the hell did I do that?!_

But his eyes looked directly into mine as his movement had stopped and I could feel the level of darkness he emitted, I could sense…

…his danger.


	3. A turn of Events

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Have fun reading!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **A turn of Events**

I blinked a couple times and looked at them long and hard.

"Kaichi, why would you do that?" Itori asked pulling the glasses out my hand and handed it to Uta.

"I need….I needed to see them." I said to softly as he stared at me.

What was he thinking? Wait- was he upset, is he going to lash out at me?

"OPPA!" a man shouted toasting with his drunken friends he tripped as he moved around dizzily knocking into Uta.

One minute there is alcohol spilling in the air and the next thing I know Uta's eyes are directly in front of mines. My back is pressed against the man next to me who supports me since I bounced into him.

The man who bounced into Uta collapsed on the floor but Uta bounced into…me.

And I'm feeling his chest against mine and..and…

I push him off as I the blood rushes to my head and I literally can't describe the heated feeling rushing through me as I feel light headed.

No…relax….nothing to get over excited about, his eyes were looking down on mines, that's all.

Plus shit I just pushed him away so hard.

"I- I" I stuttered so much that I sounded dumb. Unable to face him I ran from him and around the counter pass Itori and to the backroom. I went to the locker area and inside one as I closed it stooping and curling into a ball.

I felt my chest tight and burning. He was so close, and if I continued looking into those eyes at that distance, I was sure that I would have- I would have just…..leaned in and…

 _We would have kissed._

I shook my head from side to side. It wasn't as if he even kissed me his lip were merely a couple inches away from mine and it was his eyes that had me mezmerized…

 _But his eyes…got me hitched the minute they were so close._

I froze. Great. Itori…you were right, even if I never liked him before…I like him now!

I hugged myself as I rested my face on my knees. The image of his eyes looking down at mines. Those eyes…my body suddenly felt moved by the moment it was like dried fields of flowers suddenly becoming green and unfolding at the speed of light.

I sat there for minutes…they passed quicker than I imagined as I looked at my watch. The more I thought of coming out was the more I thought about him probably still being there.

I needed to go apologize for pushing him, and taking off his glasses like that in public. Today was not my day.

Think about the fifty grand. You earned 50 grand today. Fifty flipping grand.

Yes Kaisa, you upgraded from poverty to a struggling citizen.

"Point is." I heard Itori voice as she entered the backroom I was in. "You could have dodged that. You didn't even need to budge."

Who was she talking to?

"Maybe, I was captivated by something though Itori chan-"

Uta! That's Uta's voice no doubt.

"Captivated?"

"Are you upset with me Itori Chan?"

"Yes. Now…ughh….Kaichi where are you, I know you're here."

I didn't want to move. I slowly got up. I should go and apologize to him.

I froze as I felt for the inside lock….there was no inside lock. No maybe it was on the other side…..there was no inside lock…

 _I'm stuck?! I'm locked inside!_

"Kaichi?"

I was so embarrassed. I locked myself inside the locker. I gently pushed against it and it wasn't moving. No no no no no no no. I can't end like this it can't lock on me; it certainly can't lock on me!

"Kaiiiiiiiiccccchhhhhi"

 **Meanwhile OUTSIDE THE LOCKER**

Itori looked at Uta who looked back at her, they looked at the locker that they knew Kaisa was in. Firstly, Itori knew that Kaisa would hide somewhere in here that was a tight space. It was something Kaisa did very often. Hence 'a' locker.

Secondly, they were both Ghouls and Kaisa's scent was emanating from the locker- all they're senses was directed there. They could hear her heavy breathing which also made them know she was nervous and the scent of fear that she was giving off made them figured, something was wrong…physically.

Thirdly, kaisa jacket was jammed in the door- the piece of clothing hanging on the outside of the locker that they knew she was wearing earlier which meant she was inside. She wasn't a very…convincing hider.

BACK TO INSIDE THE LOCKER

"Ummm…Itori….I'm locked inside the locker…."

"She says she's locked inside the locker." Uta says to Itori who I know is covering her grin like crazy.

I could feel it….she was laughing at me.

"I-Pfft- I know…ummm…." She stuttered trying to hold back her laugh.

I heard Itori footsteps come close as she opened the locker. I stepped out looking down to my feet… so ashamed.

"Hello?" Itori says stooping a little bending and looking up at me as she looked up at my face.

"I….I should apologize to Uta, I heard his voice…where is h-"

"Boo."

I froze. I turned to beside me from the darkness when I heard the small sound and saw his face so close to mine yet my heart stopped. I was so damn frightened my heart stopped.

It flipping stopped.

It stopped as in….not beating.

"Kaichi breathe!" Itori says almost as if she could hear the beats of my heart coming to a hault.

"Did I scare you?"

I think I peed my underwear. Yes. Its damp. I peed myself a little.

"Fuck, she's triggered." Itori says shaking her head as she rest her hand on my shoulder shaking me.

5 minutes later I'm sitting down in the chair sipping water like a baby from a glass as I remain silent. Itori is on the phone and Uta is sitting opposite from me looking aimlessly into the ceiling.

"Kaichi."

I jolt as I turn to Itori who comes off the phone. "That was Govenor, he was close around your apartment and decided to check on you and the new piercing. You weren't there and on his way back there was a ghoul attack on your street. Apparently the ghoul is still in the area so…I think you should stay over my place tonight."

What? A ghoul attack? One of those hasn't happened around my area for a good seven months now. But why, why now?

"No I can't. I have-"

"What- there was a ghoul attack what if you get attacked on your way home, why can't you stay what do you have?"

"I need to draw…."

She gives me this puzzled look, "Kaisa Eleos Terresi, you rather doing art and risking your life than being safe and doing art the next day!"

"You don't understand-"

"Your pencil and paper isn't going to grow legs and runaway!"

"She's an Artist, it's like an urge," Uta says and I'm glad he speaks for I was getting murdered on the spot.

Itori turns to him and gives him the glare of the devil as I feel the evil aura seeping off her making the air suddenly cold. Uta shakes his hand before him defensively. "But ah- of course I wouldn't know I don't have urges since…lately." He said realizing speaking up was a big mistake giving her an uneasy smile.

"U-Uta san can walk me there, I will be safe, Itori….I neeeeeeed to reach home. I need to draw…I _need_ to."

She sighed. "Well if its Uta then you're more than safe." she says smiling as she relaxes almost too sudden for no suspicion. "I should get back to the bar, you two-get going."

The walk home is fairly silent but Uta seems not one bit fazed by escorting me home. If we are on the sidewalk he walked on the outside and at a pace I can follow and when we were crossing the bridge above the road he paused and ensured I reach the top of the staircase before going further, it was very…kind. In a weird way…but sort of cute.

"U-Uta, so do you aumm, what type of art do you do?"

"Mask, like the one you were wearing on Tuesday."

"You made that mask?" I asked looking at him. He was wearing his sunglasses and I figured it was to draw attention away from his eyes. Tattooing the eyes wasn't so famous I guessed but it did look very unique.

"Yes, I did." He said coming to a stop as I realize I needed to lead the way now

"Here." I said pointing to the street on our right police cars were nearly everywhere along with an ambulance. "It was….really close to my apartment building." I mumbled going to my building. The incident was literally half a block away from my building meaning a good 15 meters. I opened the main door entrance and I could hear Uta behind me. He paused as he sniffs the air and I turn around looking at him.

"Does the building smell?"

"Not really." He said looking around.

I go to the elevator and he followed. I press the floor number and the door began closing when suddenly a hand stops it. A scruffy looking guy around the early 20s steps in and leans against the opposite corner.

The door re-closes and the elevator jolts before ascending.

"Terresi chan, why don't you take the stairs?"

"Huh, well, I thought the elevator was faster seeing that you are walking me home."

"Terresi chan," He tilts his head up to the ceiling as he looks at the light both his hand in his pockets. "Do you know that ghoul look just like humans?"

"Huh?" I looked at him completely lost as I wonder why he is telling me this, "I heard they looked like humans, you can call me Kaisa by the way." I added since last names were too formal

"Kaisa chan" He doesn't learn does he. "….are you having sex with anyone in this complex"

"…"

I nearly spat out my esophagus as I turned from him looking at the walls of the elevator my eyes widened by his sudden question. WHY WOULD HE ASK THAT?!

"Wh-Why would you ask that and no!"

"I just needed to know if you close with anyone in this apartment building, any intimacy involved?" He said cricking his neck as he moved it to the left- pretty hot if you asked me but still!

I blinked a couple times even more, "I talk to no one and I keep my distance, I'm also…single." I said. It was only a few seconds afterwards I realized I told him I was single.

The elevator comes to a stop and we both exit leaving the man alone inside. We walk to my apartment door and I open it stepping inside. He leans in a little looking around. "It's spacious."

"Yup, I like a lot of…space."

He doesn't reply but looks at me.

"Umm well thank you. I will call Itori and let her know that I am home," I said to him smiling.

"Okay." He said turning to leave.

"Wait!" I exclaimed as I stopped him. "I really like your eyes." I said swallowing. "Can I see them again… please?"

"My eyes." he says continuing to walk as he looks back at me before stopping turning to me with is hands in his pockets.

"Y-Yes."

He looked down and looked back up at me and began to walk back. "Can I look at yours?" He said his hand moving to his glasses.

"Of course, I don't cover them or anything," I said looking at him as he walked back to his previous spot but his legs kept moving.

"And you won't run." He adds his face blank as he pulled the glasses off leaning close to me nearly as close as he was before as I blinked staring into his eyes. His hands moved to my forehead as he moves it upward pulling my bangs back as I look into his eyes frozen on the spot.

With him so close I wanted to look away, I could feel his breath against my face and it made my heart pound harder.

I continue staring. They were pitch black, almost far too black to be regular ink. The red in his eyes, it was so organic. I could sense the feeling that the red was maybe, as rich and fresh as blood. The veins moved like aimless strings disappearing into blackness. It was so unique. I could see the muscles. So relaxed and moving faintly almost like they were looking deep into my eyes. Contracting and relaxing to set a journey to enter the depths of my soul as I was locked in his gaze.

I breathed heavily as I rested my hand on the door. I inhaled and exhaled as I locked the seven locks on my door. The door lock and a lock above the main lock, one below the main lock, one in the upper center of the door and one at the base of the door in the center, I moved the lever horizontally over the door and lifted the latch that the metal rectangle slipped in as I dialed in the code for it to be locked.

My bag slipped off my shoulder as I slipped off my shoes my body moving on its own as I made my way to my art studio. I moved the blank paper of the piece as I grabbed the wheel table with my painting equipment.

No need to even be worried, this time…it would be perfect.

I entered the art room there was a loud chatter everyone seemed to have some interesting conversation at the tip of their tongue. As I moved through I could see the heads turning and looking at me. My hand on the strap of my shoulder bag tightened. Why were they staring?

 _Why are they looking at me?_

I moved to my art area and my grip on my bag loosened as it fell. My canvas….it was destroyed.

"W-Who did this…"

I looked at the scene before me my hand moving over my mouth as I felt water piling up in my eyes and I could feel my stomach curling. Three tears going straight through my work ripping it to pieces as my rough sketches were ripped and art notes on the floor. The locker beside it was even more of a calamity as all my equipment were emptied and tossed all over the place making a mess of the floor.

"Time for class to begin." A masculine voice said going through the room. It was the voice of my art instructor.

 **10 MINUTES LATER**

"What do you mean by you do not know."

"I mean I don't know- why- why would I destroy all my own work, all my equipment and my final piece that's to be graded next week."

He looked at me as he inhaled deeply. "Terresi our University expects great things from you, this, this has to be dealt with. As your teacher all I can do is give you an extension."

"Ex…extension. My work was destroyed- it was murdered! My art equipment and everything was destroyed and for all of that you're giving me an extension." He looked at me and he knew I was furious. "I have been your student for a year and a half and you have seen it with your own eyes. Your work is always a week early. It is always done on time my area is always clean and I always meet your expectations!"

"You have a week, that's final. Your piece not on my table on next week Monday then it's a zero on your record. No scholarship and you leave the course."

I blinked….your joking right…I wanted to say that. But the words wouldn't sound themselves to leave my mouth. He slammed the art room door as I heard his voice in the room beginning the day's lesson. I felt my stomach curl as I leaned against the wall. I slid down the concrete landing on the floor as I felt the pit of my stomach curl and with a hard pang in my body from the feeling of pain, an echoing feeling of loss moved through my empty body and I felt like I just lost a piece of my soul. The strings of my heart tightened and the lump in my throat became unbearable as I felt my eyes burn.

The tears streamed down and I couldn't even wipe them as they ran down my face. I never wanted to drop out university. I came such a far way to just get into college more over to aim for a perfect GPA last year to be on a special scholarship for my second year. I needed to get a full grade. I needed to maintain my standards.

More tears began falling as I began wiping them away as I hugged my body.

This was me, this was my art, this was something I wanted in life to call my own. The art I had, this talent, it was the only thing I had.

I rose up and moved to the door pushing it open. My instructor stopped speaking and looked at me. I held my head down and moved to my art area…I could feel everyone looking at me as well. I began moving slowly cleaning up everything. My locker, all the expensive acrylic paint I had purchased for my fine art course. I cleaned it all up scrubbing and tidying the floor as I fixed inside the locker as well making my area clean and tidy.

The sunset lit through the room and I covered the destroyed work with a white cloth. My area was clean and I managed to get every speck of paint off the floor and wall. I looked down on my hands they were red, swollen…and numb.

I took up my bag and left the university. I never felt like taking the train, I never felt like going anywhere, I just wanted to go home and curl into a ball. My cell began ringing in my bag and I pulled it out cringing at the feeling in my hand as I held the phone moving it to my ear. I scrubbed and scraped too hard. All the cleaning had me down to my knees as well. I was pained up all over.

"Kaichi?"

"Yes?"

"Yes? Sounds like something happened is everything alright?"

I sighed.

"Aumm, I went to class today, someone destroyed my piece along with all my art equipment."

"WHAT?!" She exclaimed over the phone and I could hear the sound of glass hitting something as she cursed under her breath, "The fuck you mean- as in, destroyed everything?"

"Yes, it was to be submitted next week Monday."

"You have been working on that for a month now, you sent me the pictures- I still have them and-"

"I know…my instructor gave me a week extension. Technically it was to be handed in last week Friday; some got a chance till this Wednesday. But I have until Monday."

"That's not even mercy, that's like…pity!"

"It's his job…I'm sure he is being kind enough, that's probably the day the grades must be on the system."

"That's ridiculous though who would do that and that instructor should give you like a default 100 or absent or something, what's his name-where does he live-what's his blood type!"

"What?" I pause as I crack a small smile. Honestly even at times like this she made me smile.

"I just need to know him so I can kill him." She said sounding very serious.

"I'm sure he's doing his job."

"I'm sure he- ughh, the stock truck is here, hold on let me go clear this shippi-"

"No it's okay umm…I want some alone time to think."

"Oh…okay. Come to my place tonight, I'll by you vanilla ice cream, my treat"

"No I want to go an-"

"Kaichi….pleaaaaaassssse~"

I sighed, "Okay…"

"Yaaay, see you tonight then you know where the hidden key is,"

"Yessssss."

I hung up sighing deeply. I untied the sweater around my waist and slipped it on as the chilly night air blew against my skin and made me cold. The time was getting dark and I felt a bit cold plus since I was going to Itori house, I wasn't so far away from curling into a bed. Just the next 15-20 minutes.

I continued walking and someone bumped right into me.

Suddenly I felt a tight grip on my hand as this male- he grabbed my hand and then pulled me into the dark alley way. I began fussing wait, is this a joke?

He covered my eyes with his hand as I felt something tightly wrap around my eyes and I felt my body suddenly bash into the wall my bag falling to my feet as I felt my boots splash in some mucky water and the scent of dirty alley way and garbage hit my nose and the only thing I could hear was the distant sound of traffic.

I felt hands and a muscular body behind me, his hands pinning both my hands above my head, his groin against my ass and his body force holding me in place.

 _ **Is this a joke!**_

"St-Stop!"

"Sh-Sh-Shhhhhshh be quiet, fuck you're sexier than I even thought!" He said his musky breath close to my face as I could sense him directly next to my ear the sharp scent of Hennessey and Red Bull filling my nose coming from his mouth. "You know how frustrating it is jerking off to you every day but now-" His hand went up my shirt and gripped my bra pulling it ripping the cloth as he pushed his hand underneath the material and cupped my breast in his hands groping it.

"N-No!"

I shivered at his harsh touch cringing at it.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh~ Fu-Fuck yes your making me so filthy hard bitch, stop turning me on please, spread your legs let me feel your pussy come on let me feel it your begging me to rape you aren't you!"

"W-WHATS WRONG WITH YOU I SAID STOP"

" **SHUT UP** \- come on….let me rape you before I at least eat you, can't you just let a ghoul have its meal in peace?" He said harshly as my heart stopped.

My blood ran cold.

Meal?

* * *

 _ **Thank you please favorite, follow and review!**_


	4. His Pyrrhic Victory

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Please enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4  
His Pyric Victory**

"M-Meal in peace….you're a… **ghoul** …." I said nervously as my body went limp.

I was going to be killed. I was going to be murdered, in an alley way…killed on the day my art piece was destroyed, on the day that I was going over to my best friend house... I would be raped…and then eaten and left in the alley way.

Murdered.

"Bingo. Yeah baby- come on, let me fuck your brains out- literally." He muttered holding my waist grinding his hardened erection against me as the tears soaked the cloth over my face. I couldn't even speak as I was in shock. I couldn't believe what was happening I couldn't…what was…how could….why me?

He began undoing my belt buckle and suddenly it's like reality slammed into me.

"N-No!" I exclaimed putting up a fuss.

"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled bashing my head in the concrete as I felt the blood in mouth and some trickling down my forehead.

"Sto-stop!" I yelled.

"You dirty- Stay still!"

"No-Please- don't hurt me!"

"I said shut up!"

I elbowed him in the chest and I swung around pulling off the cloth wrapped around my face. I heard him hit the ground hissing under his breath. With the strength I had and in the darkness that was around me- I aimed for the head stepping into his face the heel of my boots digging into his bone. I didn't even pick up my bag, I didn't even wait for a second to pass I just began running, through connected alleys as fast as I could moving through the dark with the little light that I got from the moon that shined down onto the dirty concrete ground of the alley. I never stopped, my heart beating up to my chest the feeling of my own blood in my mouth as I felt it running down my lips. From when he pushed me against the wall bashing my body so hard I bit my tongue and the blood was pooling into my mouth all this time, not to mention the second time which caused my forehead to be bleeding.

"B-BITCH!" I heard his voice and my legs shook and froze. I looked around I needed to move I needed to run and run faster but the connected alley ways were like a maze and I felt so lost.

I shook my head and continued running my legs going fast as tears ran down my cheeks like a river I was scared, I was terrified; I couldn't breathe as my body was reacting on its own.

Faster, faster, faster, FATSER!

I saw the alley coming to an end leading to a street, I heard him running coming closer and closer.

Almost like leaping off I cliff I emerged from the darkness. Street lights, car lights and people talking and doors opening greeted me as it was like I entered a better, safer and less frightening world. I leaned forward my feet touching the ground from my leap and crashed into a police officer leaning against a car who seemed to be patrolling.

"M-Maam are you- you're covered in blood! Are you okay what happ-"

"A GHOUL- HELP- P-PLEASE!" I looked at him and suddenly, almost like sinking into water, my legs gave out beneath me…and my vision slowly became dark….and like that…..I felt my body suddenly become numb. It was like I was sinking. Sinking into the depths of deep water reaching out as the sounds echoed around me and my eyes began to close.

My body felt cold…was this it…am I going to die?

So this is my end?

* * *

"Where is she?" Itori charged as she moved through the hall pushing away the policemen as Uta walked closely behind her looking around not intrigued by the crowds of policemen surrounding the room.

"Excuse me." Uta said respectfully moving through the policemen Itori had pushed out the way.

The door slammed open hitting against the wall.

"So all you will have to do is just ensure you take this one…and this one." The nurse said to me before coming to a stop jolting at the door suddenly opening.

I looked at the door to see Itori.

"I…I…" My eyes welled up with water as I bit down my lips trying so hard to hold it all in.

She ran to me hugging me so tightly that I felt like I was going to die, the tears ran down my cheeks as I pulled away looking up at her.

"I heard, it was on the news," She said looking at me pulling my hair. "What the…..Where is the hair that was on the left side of your head…"

"I received an injury right there, they had to cut the hair to stitch the wound.

"You mean…." An aura loomed over her, "Your beautiful black silky-"

"It's just hair, it will grow back."

"No it looks, it looks awkward." she said turning to the nurse with a death glare making the poor woman flinch.

"Come on stop you'll make it worse…why did you take so long to visit?" I asked looking at her.

"I couldn't visit the entire hospital is on lockdown. You're one of 3 people who have ever survived a ghoul attack and are in a stable condition."

"So that's why, shouldn't you have burst through the window or something….the oh so fearless and woman with the strength of a thousand men." I mumbled pulling away from her pulling my legs to my chest.

"Kaichi…."

"I'm glad you came…but you took so long." I mumbled as I didn't want to look at her now that I had seen her.

"Kaichi I wanted to come but-" she reached out touching my shoulder.

"Don't touch me….you said you'll always be there for me, you said you'll never let anyone hurt me….look at me, I'm hurt, I almost got killed, I almost got raped…and eaten.". She looked at me her eyes widened. "He…was going to rape me…he wouldn't even say, let him kill me or just eat me, or just- just kill me at least first before he wanted to have sex with me, he pushed me…so hard, I felt like I was going to snap…he…" I began trembling as it went through my mind…it was only 3 days ago but I remembered it so fresh and real like it was only a few minutes ago.

"I…..I'm sorry…." She said looking at me. I turned to her and witnessed her expression. The tears welled up in her eyes. Her fist clenched tight as her hand trembled with anger.

"Oh…Itori chan is going to cry." Uta said as I turned to him, I never even realized that he was here.

"Shut up." she said with her head down as she clenched her fist.

"Kaisa-chan, you shouldn't be so hard on Itori chan. She hasn't slept a wink since she found out you were attacked by a ghoul. She didn't eat or even work, her bar has been shut down since." He said in a monotone voice walking to the bed standing directly in front of me and the nurse flinching at his appearance. He was in a loose sleeveless shirt as his tattoos on his hand and neck revealed as he was in a dark grey baggy pants and a pair of slippers. He had on his sun glasses and a black tam.

"She didn't…." I mumbled looking up at him.

"She was very worried." he said looking at me. I looked back around at Itori but she wasn't there.

"Where did she…go?"

"Kaisa-chan hurt Itori-chin's feelings." he said looking at me. I felt the tears well up in my eyes even more. I never yelled at her like that before. I never refused her like that before either.

"Uta…." He was so close it wasn't hard for me to lean against his chest. "I'm such a bad person." I said breaking down as I began crying. I heard the sound of the nurse walking out the room as she closed the door behind her.

I cried against his chest feeling all the emotions built up inside of me releasing. Since the incident I only cried a little and I was alone in this room most of the time. But since he was here I was so relieved and then with all that took place I felt like a moment like this was deserved. He didn't push me away or tell me not to wet his clothes either. Instead I felt his hand on my head as he stroked it gently and for a moment, I felt like this was all I needed.

~o~

"Sign here…and here….please put your signature on this one too." I signed the paper again as I sat comfortably in bed curling into a ball.

I looked at the bag that Uta had with him and left for me. The nurse left and I switched on the TV that was in the hospital getting myself in a comfortable and well rested position. I didn't feel like I wanted to be hunched up and in pain. I would be leaving tomorrow in the morning so it's best I enjoy my peace to the fullest.

* * *

"Oh- You're really not holding back are you." Uta commented as he fixed the mask on his face looking at Itori who had removed her mask.

They were in a dark room and the only light was from a swinging lightbulb in the ceiling that shone light only in a small center of room leaving the corners of the space dark and pitch black. Uta looked at the man hanging from the ceiling by both arms.

Barb wire dug into his skin as it was wrapped around his arms like a rope keeping him a few 2 or 3 feet off the ground. Itori walked up to him glaring up at him her hands soaked in blood.

"P-P-Please…"

"I wouldn't beg if I were you." Uta said watching Itori as she straightened her hand before thrusting it in his abdomen turning it inside his body the gurgling sound of organs and blood filling the room mixed with his screams as she pulverized the inside of his body. She gripped on to his liver ripping it out as she tossed it to the floor blood running out of the hole like a river before slowing down turning into frequent drips. The liver landed next to the others as the man coughed up blood.

The blood caught Itori's face but she didn't even blink. She looked at him death in her eyes mixed with the anger that sent him into fear. She was serious, she was merciless, but moreover she was pissed.

"S-Stop please, like I said, I never k-k-knew!" He coughed up more blood vomiting upon himself. It was a filthy scene.

Blood pooled beneath him as the entire room was stink of iron. Uta sat on the chair at the table directly in front him. He was in his no-face mask and seemed to be quite entertained.

"H-Help me…please." he begged to Uta.

"Help?" Itori said her voice harsh with madness as she held his head pushing her hand in his mouth. "When you were going to rape her, when you molested her and caused her to bleed, did you even think of fucking helping her."

The man's eyes widened as tears streaked down his face. Her hand in his mouth grabbed on to his tongue.

"What did it feel like, what did it feel like to do that to her, wasn't she begging you to stop- didn't you think that at the moment _she_ wanted help." Itori growled. She spoke lowly but loud enough for both Uta and the man himself to hear. She pulled the muscle the sound of ligaments and tissues tearing as the veins stood up in his neck and small red bloodshot surfaced under his skin showing internal bleeding as the final hard and rough tug pulled the tongue out his mouth. She dropped the six inch muscle on the ground. Blood began spilling all over the place as he began gurgling on the blood his eyes rolling behind his head as Itori gripped his hair tilted it downwards for the blood to run out.

"Come on now…I can't have you dying on me." She hissed.

He healed faster this time as his tongue rejuvenated. He spat and began laughing. "Hahahahahahah! You know I was somewhat fucking victorious, I'm sure she's somewhere curled up crying! You bitch, humans get raped and eaten all the time, you know- I should have raped her, ripped her up inside fuck her maybe knock her up. 3 months later I just fuck her again and eat the brat in her. I should have just-"

Half his face splattered on the ground as Itori clenched her fist as she breathed heavily the vein in her forehead standing up as he began healing but this time slower. That was way more of a serious wound.

He went too far with what he just said.

"Uta…finish him."

The corpse that was gaining life moved a little as he was alive, still able to talk a little.

"you vink a this man can kilv me? Alv hees veen doing isv sitting vere" (you think this guy can kill me, all he's been doing is sitting there)

Itori who was walking off turned around looking at him from her side eye. Uta rose from the chair and pulled back his sleeves.

"This man, won't be holding back like I did." Itori said before turning around and walking away closing the door behind her. She felt the tears build up in her eyes.

There was a sudden ear pitching continuous scream from the other side of the room as the man yelled loudly.

Louder than he had been for the past three days.

Her heart softened. Some of her anger quenched.

* * *

I walked out the hospital and into the outside world as I felt the sunlight shining down on me. No longer in the hospital, I'm finally free.

I shouldn't be depressed. I shouldn't think back. I have had psychologists in and out of my hospital room coating me with kind words and reassurance. For all I knew I wasn't the first person to have survived being molested and even though the bruises were there and my skin crawled and cringed when the memory passed my mind….slowly I would heal not only physically but mentally- just enough for me to be able to try my best to move on without being too traumatized and broken by the experience.

The first place I wanted to go was Itori. I felt nervous as I clenched my bag walking down the street. It was a day like this that…..I closed my eyes tightly. I shouldn't think of it. I should relax. I walked to the residential apartment that Itori lived. I usually took the stairs but my legs weren't as strong as they should be.

From my head injury I lost a lot of blood and I was anemic. Therefore fatigue and weakness was very frequent and in situations like this, its best I wasn't on my feet for so long. I went to the 23rd floor by elevator and walked to her door. I took the key from the hidden area which was in plain sight.

It was underneath the door number on the door. _1791._ I opened the door and went inside inhaling the scent of roses and wine. I went inside the house walking around where there were some empty boxes all over, it felt like she hadn't been home for a few days. I landed in Itori's bed and it felt so soft and comfy…but judging by the place, the scent, the tidiness…I could tell Itori hasn't been home for a while. I pulled off my clothes and put on a big baggy blouse and my underwear. I stared in the mirror at the patch in my hair at the side of my head. It wasn't so bad the hair was already growing back.

Holy shit I was fucking pale. I looked lighter….and thinner. I washed my face smacking my cheeks in hope to get some instant melanin or something-I felt like a freaking ghost, must be the anemia.

I did a loose bun and went to the kitchen pouring some wine into a glass. I sipped it looking around the room the sound of classical music in the background since it was an automatic sensor whenever the house door opened. I picked up the phone dialing her number.

"Oh, I was just….thinking of you…"

"Really?" I asked smiling, "I got discharged, I'm at your house."

"Oh you are. Wait…you left that hospital all alone?" Itori said over the phone her voice was much calmer.

"Listen," I said as I leaned against the counter. "I ahh…I was mean to you at the hospital and what I said…the things I said were unkind, let me make it up to you….Let me make dinner tonight, the way you like it." I said softly as I played with a few loose strands in my hair curling them around my finger.

"Well…Uta might come because-"

"It's okay…I don't mind, I just really want to see you." I said breaking her off. The phone went silent for a while. "Itori?"

"I'll be home soon."

I smiled and hung up as I went to her fridge. It seemed well packed which meant dinner should be something tasty and nice.

I turned on the fire and placed a pot of boiling water on along with a smaller one with two eggs. I went in the fridge, took out some frozen meat some potatoes some vegetables and stuff. Got my seasonings and utensils together.

I loved cooking it's something I enjoyed- not that would pursue it but it was like a hobby. Creating new dishes, perfecting my baking skills- it's part of the few things I would never stop doing till the day I die.

An hour later I heard the apartment door open and the sound of footsteps as it closed shortly after. I was cutting up some carrots at the time but as soon as I heard the sound my grip on the knife tightened.

"Kaichi!" Itori exclaimed bursting from around the corner.

My grip loosened as I turned to hug her smiling.

"Wahhhhhhh- you're cooking up a feast."

"Meh, I felt like I needed to aumm…" My gaze shifted as I picked up Uta's presence. He seemed quite acquainted with the house since he entered and moved to the island in the kitchen sitting around a stool and stared. "Aummm…Itori you reek of rum."

"Oh…I had some accidentally spilled on me, dinner will soon be done?"

"Yup, can you go and, wash it off please…" I said as the rum reminded me of the scent that man carried that night.

"Okay lemme go have a shower."

"Okay aumm, I'll set the table and ahh, wrap up here."

"Don't push yourself so hard, Uta is here, he is your beast of burden."

I laughed as she smirked and pulled off her shirt.

"Wait till you reach the bedroom goddamit!" I yelled at her.

"Ehh, it's not like you and Uta haven't seen me naked~"

I froze.

I watched her strip down on her way to the bathroom before disappearing into the shower leaving the door open.

I turned around moving to the carrots continuing to cut carrots.

Uta…..has seen you naked.

I brushed the thought away, I mean they have been friends for years maybe you know, he saw her naked when she was….5 years old. Fuck the 5 with that type of body she must have been developed from she was 8.

 **He saw her naked at 8 months.**

Seeeeeee that sounds better~

"Kaisa chan do you want help." He asked swinging his chair a little as he rested his hand on the island behind me.

" **Eh…I don't anything from you.** " I growled at him. It was after the words came out and my death glares managed to get him to flinch that I realized what I said.

I turned away looking down at the cutting board. I continued cutting.

"Is Kaisa chan upset that I saw Itori chan naked?"

The knife snipped my finger and I hissed.

"Was I right Kaisa chan?"

I looked at him blushing as a little blood trickled from the wound.

"Kaisa chan do you hurt yourself this often?" He asked suddenly. I turned my head around to see him standing directly behind me.

Holy Mother of Jesus- the life vanished from my body on the spot. He was just at the table and-

I grabbed my spirit from thin air returning it to my body. I swear he has presence issues.

He stretched to the top cupboard getting the first aid kit and rested it before me on the counter. I felt a light blush over my face since he was directly behind me, and his hands were next to mine as he boxed me in against the counter.

He was way taller than me as well so….I was maybe at his chest. I felt him lean over resting his head on my shoulder.

"Let me see the finger."

Isn't he getting awfully comfortable behind me relaxing against my body. Uta you idiot I can feel you against me!

I blushed madly as I raised it up. His head was on my shoulder and I could feel his cheek against mine and ends of his hair tickling my skin.

"Uta, do you like making situations uncomfortable for people?" I questioned as I watched his hand pull the bandage from the box and took a cube tick dipping it in the cream before rubbing it on the wound.

He remained quiet and I guessed he wasn't going to answer that. But I couldn't even imagine him replying. I sighed and enjoyed the scent he carried with him which was quite similar to when we were at the hospital. He has a distinctive scent, very raw yet attractive I couldn't help by fancy it.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore. Aummm…Uta, you don't have to wear glasses around me, as a matter of fact, you do-"

"Done." he said as he raised my hand before me and I saw the finger nicely cleaned and banded up quite well. I turned my face looking at him.

"You're not going to answer are you?" I asked looking at him in those thick shades that I wanted to just knock off his face.

"Kaisa-chan is unfair….you never answered mine." he commented as he put back the first aid kit to its previous place. I turn around facing him as he rested his hands on the surface of the counter boxing me in once more looking down at me. It's not like I didn't like the full attention.

I swallowed giving him a daring stare he brought out this side of me that made me want to dig deeper into him. Even if it meant exposing myself.

"Yes…I am jealous." I said looking up at him as I took off his glasses, I could get used to doing this more often. I basically melted on the inside staring at those eyes.

He remained silent looking down at me for a while as I stared back into his eyes only to jump out of reality to realize that he was staring. Very hard.

I got fidgety, nervous, my cheeks began roasting red.

The position we were in, there was only a few millimeters of space between our bodies.

"Hmm, Kaisa-chan is getting red, do you by chance have a fever?" He teased leaning closer and I felt his body completely pressed against mines. I got even redder as I swore there was steam coming off my face. I couldn't even look at him properly anymore! His eyes….there on me. It's like they were looking deep into me.

"Kaisa-chan?" he called softly leaning closer to me. My hands made the little space between our bodiesas I rested them on his chest which was a crucial mistake.

His firm chest made my mind run miles of imagination as my hands slipped downwards and over his stomach before going to rest on his surface of the counter. Okay…its legit. I just felt him up purposely in the most innocent way.

So he carries a very, lean built, not robust and heavy, but firm and delicate at the same time, every muscle nicely aligned in his chest almost like he stabilizes in what he eats and how often he exercises. It was ridiculous, his body seemed so tall and slim but the built was strong and muscular….and hot….He had an enticing set of defined abs it didn't even make sense. How could he carry all of this….sexiness, under such loose and casual clothing? All of that in my little hand-run-down that had an artist like me itching to sculpt.

"Kaisa chan, you're drooling."

"Hu- what no I'm not!"

"Actually, you are."

Liesssss! I looked away before looking back at him.

"I'm not" I said not feeling any sort of wetness on my lips….I was not drooling. But I was…mentally; probably so much there would be a river right now.

"Is it because of what you just did?"

I froze.

He knows, he knows I felt him up on the spot with that simple move!

"W-what are you talking about?" I said playing the ' _I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about'_ game.

His expression changed as he smirked leaning closer to my ears, "Kaisa chan, your very cute."

I froze. First time I heard his voice so clearly and close. I even felt his breath against my ears. Uta was making me blush like mad!

It was sexy, masculine, masculine and sexy! And the hot air from his breath blowing against my ears god dammit I could feel them getting so red.

He pulled away looking at me, "Your very fun to tease, I like it." He commented as I flinched.

He was…wait…he was teasing me!?

" **Uta** …."

He flinched. I looked behind him to see Itori in her pajamas glaring daggers at Uta who moves away so slowly and cautiously I could feel him making an effort to not mess up any further since he knew at this point his life was on the line.

Itori gave him 'the look'.

" **She's mine**."

"Kya!" I yelped feeling the big boobed woman pull me into a hug that had my lungs clawing for air.

"Isn't that right Kaichi~?"

"B-Breathe- I can't breathe!" I stated pulling away eventually the steaming pot begging for attention as I switched it off. "Dinner is done, everyone around the table." I said breathing heavily like an asthmatic.

Way to ruin the moment Itori….but still- even if he was teasing I was left blushing like an idiot!

* * *

 **Please review. Thank you for reading.**


	5. Somewhat Progress

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **This is actually one of my favorite fics and sadly its not getting the recognition I thought it would have gotten but that aside I am very and extremely grateful for the reviews. Thank you MsParthenopaeus for your support and the time you take you literally strengthen me to continue and go on. Thank you all my followers and readers who favorite. i won't stop writing, i will continue to push forwards so please do continue your support. Thank you very much.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5  
Somewhat Progress**

"What!?" I exclaimed looking at Itori who was lounging under the sheets cuddling her pillow.

"Yes, so you're going to live with me, I'm not letting you go back to that apartment."

"This makes no sense all my stuff are at that apartment. My art stuff- my art studio…." I mumbled looking at her as I sat in the little chair opposite of the bed brushing my hair, and my patch.

"There are some…investigators, lounging around your apartment, plus-"

"Plus what?" I asked.

"The ghoul that attacked you, turns out he lived at your apartment."

"That's bullshit" I hissed at her. How would she even know that?

"Listen…" she sat up in the bed turning to me giving me a serious glare."You never even realized someone has been stalking you, you lived at that place and you never- never saw this man? Kaichi you want me to leave you at that apartment any longer? Are you crazy?" She said as I could feel her getting angry. She had a point but so did I.

"No- Stop, I don't _know_ him-never seen him, plus I **told** you! I told you I felt like I was being stalked!"

"He wasn't familiar? Never saw him or a glance of him?"

"These are questions I answered before since I felt like I was being stalked I _told_ you…" I said looking at her. I thought back to the night not something I wanted to do.

… _Sh-Sh-Shhhhhshh be quiet, fuck you're sexier than I even thought…You know how frustrating it is jerking off to you every day but now…_

I closed my eyes tightly looking away. Don't remember- don't remember.

"Kaichi I need you to stay here, with me, where it's safe."

"I-I don't…" I looked at her and I could see it in her eyes. This was something that needed a lot of thought. But then, this was something I shouldn't put at the back of my mind since its serious, plus, unlike her who was more concerned about my safety. I knew she was also concerned about me….me dealing with what happened.

"….I will stay."

She smiled. "Great aummm….work, I have to get dressed. I have some boxes folded already just take them with you, take a taxi, go start packing."

"Come on you've seen my apartment, that's a good amount of packing, and this place isn't so big"

"…well yes but….I can change my apartment to a three bedroom apartment. We work together and pay the rent- I mean….we always wanted to live togetherrrr~" She said smiling.

"You're hardly ever home though, late night at the bars…"

"But that gives you privacy."

"Yeah but…."

"Let's do this!" She said rising up looking at me, "Kaichi….no backing out."

I didn't feel so comfortable about this,"…Okay."

I gave her a firm look. A three bedroom. One for me, one for her, one for the Art Studio. Living with Itori wouldn't be half bad. She has small faults like leaving her clothes on the floor and maybe her eating habits, she eats next to nothing. But other than that, it could really work.

I left the house with Itori and we both parted after I got a taxi. It stopped at my apartment and I felt nervous as I stared at the place.

I hadn't been here for a while.

Closing the door behind me I looked around my apartment. I had the piles of unfolded boxes which luckily the taxi man made me stuff his trunk with.

I got the smaller things first. Lotions and bath wash. All the things off my dresser, plaques and more. I moved around getting everything done at a steady pace trying to at least get the packing done by the end of the day. I never really had much anyways. Furniture I usually sell and rebuy and most of my stuff was kitchen utensils pots and pans, paintings and books. I dressed down to a loose fitting sheer top and a pair of mini shorts throwing my bra on the kitchen counter since I was clearing out the kitchen cupboards. Bras are annoying anyways.

My phone suddenly rang in my back pocket distracting me as I was on the counter top getting the cake mixer from the top cupboard. I sat comfortably on the counter putting the phone at my ears.

"Hello."

"Kaisa chan- It's me."

"Oh- Tyler."

"Yeah aummm, I heard what happened on the news, even your artwork, I know Tuesday is coming and I wouldn't want to-"

"No its okay I can still come."

"Yeah but, are you sure…I mean your injured."

"It's a minor injury plus you really need to pass."

"Yea I do plus ( **beep)** I was thinking that you could help me with know the paint brush ( **beep** ) making I need to do before the final exam so could you follow me to the ( **beep** ) artstore?"

"Ahh yeah umm hold on I'm getting a beep someone else is calling."

I switched the caller ID as I sighed putting the phone back at my ear.

"Kaichi!"

"Itori?" I questioned cracking a small smile as I realized it was this crazy-headed woman. "What do you desire; I am packing as you ordered."

"Well, you need help right?"

I looked around, "Actually an extra hand could get the job done faster, what time are you coming by?"

"Ahhhhh…..aumm…well- you see the thing is I won't be the one coming. I asked Uta to-"

"U-Uta?!"

"Yes- he should be there any minute."

"W-What?" I yelled shocked as I looked around my messy, box piled apartment.

"Why would you send Uta?"

"Huh- Well he was at the bar earlier and he seemed quite free plus he never had much work today and I was releasing my worries on him. Plus your injured I mean come on- I can't let you do it all by yourself-"

The doorbell rang and my heart fell. I walked to the door briskly looking through the hole. He was there, almost like he was looking at me looking at him through those dark-thick shades.

"I….am going to kill you Itori."

"Teeheee- I love you~" She sung hanging up as I glared at the phone. I turned the locks one by one and opened the door looking at him.

"Itori told you I was coming right?"

"Ahh yeah, aumm come in." I said pulling a few messy strands from my ponytail behind my ear.

He stepped in as I moved aside closing the door behind him. I bit my lip looking at him. Today I was getting very little skin. He was in long pants, an inside shirt covered by a long sleeved hoodie jacket. I don't like it. I like the tattoos on the pale and enticing skin color.

"T-Take off the jacket. Its warm inside and you can take off the glasses too…and the rest of your clothes" Of course I whispered the last part to myself. But he pulled off the jacket and I took it from him hooking it on the coat hanger. He pulled off the glasses and pushed it in his pockets. Thank god. It was sleeveless with C cut sleeves gave me a lot of skin and….it was so thin and….I wanted to touch him.

Okay I have a serious crush that is developing into a dangerous sexual attraction.

I walked behind him. "I'm doing the kitchen you can help, I need to get the knives and forks into one, everything is on the counter"

"Okay Kaisa chan, aumm" He paused at the counter before turning to me lifting my bra. "This should be packed too?"

My cheeks flushed red. "N-N-No" I blinked looking at him.

"Is this perhaps what you were we-"

I snatched it out his hand faster than lightening. He blinked looking at his empty hand as I stepped backways throwing it into my bedroom locking the room door.

"Let's pretend…that never happened." I said with a smile.

He smiled back. There was a secret message though through our smile. Such a clear, and standard message.

 **Kaisa: Speak of this to Itori and you die**

 **Uta: I won't I promise**

 **Kaisa: I will rip out your intestine and push them down your throat I swear**

 **Uta: d-don't worry I swear my lips are sealed. I don't even know what I had in my hand a while ago. A plane maybe.**

He wrapped the newspaper around the glasses placing them in the box. I watched him as he handled them with care. What type of person was Uta? He was normally silent and I realized I was physically attracted to him but I never really knew him as a person. Does he laugh at jokes? Does he get lonely, what does he like to watch on the television, he does art, so which university did he went- maybe he was eccentric and never went to university but taught himself through experience. What does he like to eat, does he like going on trips, walks, does he drive…I want to know….so much about him…

"Ut-"

"Kaisa chan I'm finish with the kitchen." He said cutting me off as he came from around the kitchen everything nicely packed the boxes even taped up and resting in the corner. You mean….that was his last box. I on the other hand was pushing the cushions from my couch into a box sitting in it so they could fit.

How embarrassing.

"That's great, would you like a drink?"

"I would, thank you." He said looking at the wall across from me. "You did this?" He asked moving towards a piece I had on my wall next to the television.

It was a ceramic mask painted with the face of a smiling clown who was crying and his face slightly deformed. He had fear in his eyes but his smile was very intimidating.

"Yeah, it was one of my earliest pieces." I said going to the kitchen looking how everything was really packed and packed well I may add since down to the table cloth and pot holders were packed away. I went in the fridge. All I had for beverage was some water and canned coffee. I took two cans and went to him handing him one. "Here you go, aumm, it's a nice piece I always wanted to sell it but I had some sort of attachment to it, I guessed the piece reminded me of myself…" I said shaking the cold tin coffee before opening it with my finger and drinking some.

I stood there for a while and looked at him. He was staring at it. But from where I stood…I was staring at him. Was this a good time to tell him that I liked him… I mean, from the bar to the hospital then to last night in Itori's kitchen. I wanted to tell him how I feel; I wanted to know him more.

He turned and looked at me. "Something wrong?"

"No, not at…all" I said smiling weakly as I looked away. I couldn't bring myself to say it. He was way above me I mean no matter how much I looked at him something about him made him seem superior. I swallowed. Maybe it was this artistic feeling, I felt like he was completely different from my type of world.

"You know…I have more in my art studio." I said leading him away from the living room and into the hall. "I never really did a lot of mask making but I found it very creative since when I did I had a lot of artistic urges that made me want to be very creative and innovative."

I opened the door stepping in the room as he followed behind me. I switched on the light and moved around the side of the room to fix the blinds on the windows.

"It's usually really bright in here but seeing the time is getting dark- it's like after 8 now." I said softly closing them turning around to see him looking at the paintings on the floor all over the place. He looked up staring at the piece I was working on.

I blinked.

I looked at the piece all over and my main piece.

There were my drawings of Uta.

"Ahhhh."

I panicked. He surely thinks I'm a stalker or maybe I'm weird or maybe I'm a freak, I did full body drawings with him trying to get an image and all- oh my god now he thinks I'm a fucking freak good job Kaisa good job leading him into your room of 'Im so attracted that I do sketches of you- so please call me obsessed.'

"I'm sorry you must be…turned off." I said softly.

"You're very determined, in perfecting me, so many rough drafts." he said looking around the room.

"When there is something I really want to do, like drawing, it gets to this level, this is the worst so far, I couldn't get it right."

"Are you unsatisfied with them Kaisa chan?"

"I mean yeah, like when I see you, I rush home and get it done, trying to get it on point."

"Try again then, you shouldn't give up on something you can't reach, progress is only achievable through effort, even if you die." He said looking at me.

I looked at him. That was probably the deepest thing I ever heard him say.

"C-Can I draw you?" I asked looking at him.

"Sure."

I smiled.

* * *

I held the charcoal in my finger and looked at him as he sat before me on the stool hands pressed between his legs where he sat.

It moved along the paper as I looked at him sketching. It felt like 30 minutes as I perfected his upper body yet he never even moved an inch. He stared at me watching as I drew him but I didn't mind it. I felt like I was going to be praised if I did a good job, and I wanted to excel and have a job well done. I wanted to see what he would say.

"You're looking at me, the same way you did when you first saw me at the bar," I said smiling looking away from the sketch book for a while and looking at him.

"That's because, Kaisa chan is interesting."

I smiled, he's too respectful, but that made him even more attractive. I didn't know if it was because I was drawing or I was in the art studio but I felt more confident to speak with him. More relaxed and open.

"Why is Kaisa chan interesting, does she….seem special to you?" I asked tapping the charcoal against the page looking at him.

He tilted his head to the side and for me, it was the most adorable body movement, he reminded me of a cute curious puppy.

"Hmmm, she is….captivating, I like her-"

"What do you like about her?" I asked almost suddenly. My heart skipping a beat as I got nervous. What should I say…I think Uta is sexy because I'm sorry I do. I think he is very, very sexy.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Reasons, I mean, come on…why are you hiding it?" I said smiling.

Just tell me dammit.

"Who wants to know?" He asked looking at me smirking.

"Kaisa chan. She really wants to know. Can you tell me now?" I asked walking to him my hands falling to my side. I had an inner defeat I wanted to know but I couldn't play hard to get right now.

I sighed looking at him. Itori told me about this boy type. _They_ play hard to get. They want you to make a move. You need to force them out their shell make them submit to you. Uggghhhhh, Uta was like this, you needed to make him spell it out.

"She is very, intriguing, Kaisa-chan is good at drawing, has a nice apartment, and….."

"and?" I said looking at him wanting the list to extend. "Uta stop teasing."

He smiled enjoying the moment.

"Why?" He asked standing stepped forward as I stepped backwards looking up at him.

"Because I _want_ a response." I replied continuing to step back with every step forward that he made.

"You're _demanding_ a response, perennially curious." He said walking closer and closer.

"I just…" I bumped into the wall and looked at him as he stepped closer his body closing in on mine as I felt a familiar built pressed against my body causing the heat to rush through my body like a wild blizzard throwing a furious tantrum just beating against the walls of my body as the red rushed to my cheeks and even to my ears.

His finger tilted my chin upwards so I could meet his eyes as he looked down at me. I blushed furiously almost like staring into his eyes pulled the living energy out of me leaving me needy and craving.

"Kaisa chan, is very…very intriguing." he said looking at me.

"Intiguing?" I asked curiously watching his lips as he spoke looking back to his eyes as they looked into mine.

"Like a timid child playing with fire watching it blaze and burn everything in its path" he said descriptively as my lips curled into a smile.

"Well I like being burnt" I said bluntly as I blushed realizing I just led him on completely. That was not in any of the lessons Itori taught me even after sex you never give in. Maintain perfect control at all times.

He didn't even budge but his eyes looked into mine staring deeply.

Woah...well now i feel like that was a cheap pick up line, that I sounded stupid and I looked like an idiot right now. Great. Let's just cut to the chase I think pride has just been laughing in my face since he stepped into my apartment there was nothing to lose anyways.

"Are you going to kiss me?" I asked looking at him my book and coal in my hands falling as my shaking hand gripped the cloth of his shirt gently.

His eyes seemed to have calmed with whatever rising tide that I felt moving inside him. It was like an energy that was building- that just suddenly vanished.

"No"

"….No?" I said looking at him as his hand moved and I felt the force of his body lighten, "I mean- of course, why would you do that, it's not like we even like each other, we're barely friends- met 2 weeks ago and stuff." I said moving away as I felt light headed completely.

I felt my stomach curl and my vision dim a little this was more than me feeling a bit hurt i never felt so well all of a sudden.

"Kaisa chan are you okay?"

"Huh."

"You look pale."

"Oh, my medication, the anemia, ahhh" I felt a bit faint. I walked to the door only for my legs to give out beneath me and my body to feel suddenly heavy.

Fuck. Not now. Don't fucking give out on me now- dammit!

"You shouldn't be standing for so long." Uta said as he pulled the sheet over me. He carried me to the bedroom.

I pouted, "My drawing book, my charcoal, I have to finish you." I said looking at the items on the other side of the bed I was too weak to even move so much.

He stretched with ease passing them to me.

"Maybe I took my teasing too far, and got Kaisa-chan hurt." He said looking at me as I began darkening my thick lines. I looked at him.

"You were teasing?" I mumbled…. _again_ …..

He looked at my sketch book. "You should rest Kaisa chan, Itori would be really upset if she knew you were working when you should be resting. That's why she sent me to help."

I shifted in the bed giving him my back. I threw the book and charcoal aside as I pulled my teddy to me cuddling it.

"Kaisa-chan you shouldn't be so mean, I can't leave you when you're so vulnerable, I will be staying over, pardon my intrusion."

I remained quiet. I was giving him the silent treatment. Suffer Uta Suffer

"Kaisa chan."

"…"

"Kaisa chan."

"…"

He called my name around 5 more times and I never replied.

He rose up and walked out the room stopping at the door I could feel him looking at me.

He switched off the light pulling the door up closing it.

Uta you dummy, I really wanted you to kiss me.

* * *

 **Ps. Dear readers it came to my attention from my consciousness that I should explain what { "…" } means. Have you ever had a moment or seen a moment when something is said to a person and like they acknowledge, hear or know what you said, but they just stare at you like 'really', or 'I hear you but you think I'm going to answer you' kind of look. Sometimes I use It as a voice of silence from the other person. I hope this has made it easier for anyone who had problems. Let me know if you need understanding to anything you don't understand.**

 **Hope you liked this chapter don't forget to favorite, follow and most importantly- review!**


	6. Rejection

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **One of my favourite chaps I had fun writing this sad and comedic chapter so I hope that it will be enjoyable for the readers as well. Please leave your comments and thank you for your time taken. :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 **Rejection**

Itori yawned as she turned to the Realtor who was writing on the paper.

"It's really reasonable the price compared to your previous suite is only 47% percent more of your original amount."

I blinked, "Aummm…in other words-"

"Just $2356 more." Itori mumbled looking around. "Kaichi" She mumbled walking towards me hugging me from behind. "It doesn't really matter, I just want to know if you like it." She said making weird movements with her lips on my neck

"Stop kissing me."

"No, I'm lonely, you haven't given me any attention, you're caught up with moving and getting work done in the last 3 days"

 _Woman! Who is the one really not giving attention here!_

I sighed "It's because-"

"Oh you guys are a couple?"

"N-"

"Yes" Itori intervened. "A very sexually frustrated couple seeking privacy."

The woman blushed. "Ahh, well if you want to have a few minutes by yourself I can go outside-"

"No we are not a couple, we are best friends and we- aummm, what did you say was the special feature of this apartment?" I said stopping whatever thoughts were going cross the woman's mind. The apartment. Direct the convo pack to our new apartment!

"Oh-Right. This apartment has 2 and a half bathroom. Almost the 3 bedrooms are moderate sizes; it has a general size kitchen, very big living room with an open concept dining area."

"Great, aumm at the door. When you enter into the hallway there is a door on the left and the right."

"The one on the left is the closet and the one on the right is the laundry."

"A laundry inside….at the door…."

"Yes, but its due to the design the rooms are very large so it was not able to be placed at the back. But the price is very reasonable for such a small fault we have a reduced offer that is very moderate."

I sighed. The place was great. The space was what I was really searching for seeing we tried places around the town but honestly, this one was better. Gladly it was the same apartment building and all, but we were just thinking way too out of the box to realize there was such a great place right under our nose.

"Kaichi~ Check this out!" Itori sang from the second room. I walked towards the sound of her voice looking around. Damn the room was big! She was in the bathroom. I entered and damn even the bathroom was big!

It had a bath tub and a standing shower with a sexy face basin and a toilet with a classic design. Itori was in the tub. Well…..that isn't even a fucking bath tub it looked more like a Jacuzzi sized tub. Wait….IT WAS A JACCUZI!

Holy Shit I want this room I love this!

"This is so big!"

"Yeah definitely!"

"And so luxurious!"

"Yeah definitely!"

"And so amazing!"

"Yeah definitely!"

"You and Uta can so have sex in this!"

I turned the latch on the closed door.

"Eh. Aum. Kaichi, I don't think you should lock the door while I'm inside."

" _Yeah_ …. _definitely_ , **locking you inside isn't enough.** " I growled.

I had told her about Uta almost kissing me and how it never happened. But to be honest her first reaction was a mouth drop then she began hinting on us being together. The last time I checked the last guy who wanted to be with me and asked me on a date suddenly left the Tokyo the next day. I'm more than positive that was her doing.

We returned to our apartment and I threw my little bag on the pile of boxes.

"Gosh I need to get ready for work. But, my work clothes- are those boxed too?" She asked walking ahead of me.

"No they are in the closet, aumm, are you coming with me to get the new beds?"

"Aummmm" She began heading to the room and started to remove her clothes. "Dammit where are my shoes."

"The box under the cosmetic box." I mumbled but loud enough for her to hear as I slouched in the couch we have been sleeping in for days, seeing we sold the beds and most of the other furniture. Need the extra cash to get better and nicer furniture. We left the couch since we can't sleep on floors. Anyways I could feel a negative response coming.

"Thank you!" She sang as I heard the shuffling in the room. Was today going to be a me-alone day again. I hadn't seen or spoken to Uta since. It's not like I could call him because I didn't have his number. When he left me in the room and I fell asleep the next day he wasn't even there in the morning.

I frowned watching Itori reappear her hair pulled over to one side on her shoulder.

"You look extra elegant today. What's going on?"

"Oh I have a celebration attending; Uta is coming as well so, I won't ask him to stay over or anything."

"No I will be fine. Plus don't tell me you forgot that I will be going to help Tyler out with his work, and that I also….have to go look at the beds, and tha-"

"Tyler- listen I don't want you on the road, Kaichi you know-"

"It's not like you're here anyways stop acting like you care." I said not looking at her as I pulled a cushion into my lap, okay maybe that was a little mean. I sighed, "I never meant it like that, I just, I want to do my art."

I said blaming it on my creative frustration. No it was not really that. I just wanted someone to be around me. More specifically her. She was all I had for god sakes. The only person I could shed my skin around.

"You will, as soon as we move and everything is packed out you can paint and-"

"I can't wait anymoreeee~" I nagged turning looking at her. Damn she looked really good. "You're going to a celebration with Uta do you have to look that good?"

 _Trying to steal the man I don't even have?_

Psssht, they were friends anyways…but he saw her naked- uggggggghhhh it still bugs me!

"Huh, oh come on; if anything dragging you into a dress and putting you before him might actually have him kiss you this time."

"Gaaaaahhhhhh- don't remind meeeee!"

She smiled walking over to me. "Here is his number." She said tapping the screen on her phone as my phone suddenly beeped. She sent me his contact.

"Huh- I don't need this- take it baaack."

"You need it trust me, you have like 5 contacts in your phone: Bestie, Work, University, Friend and Doctor Ferguson!"

"He's my special doctor, and the friend is Tyler, plus Nico calls me on the Work caller ID and Bestie is you….. Tokyo University is….University"

"My point exactly! U chan is a nice guy and I think you guys should be friends."

"…I wanna be lovers…"

"In this lifetime and level your pulling at- Its friendship Kaichi"

"Wahhhhhhh! Nuuuu, but I can't call him, I'll blabber crap!"

"Call him."

"Noooooo"

"I said….. **Call….Him** " She ordered.

"What should I even say? Hi Uta its Kaisa, the girl you've known for maybe two weeks now. Listen I really like you and the other day when you were pretending to kiss me I kinda wish you did cause I really like you and want you to have sex with me on a blank canvas next to some paint and art supplies probably against a freaking wall for all I care or something."

Itori blinked at me a couple times. "You really like him don't you?"

I felt my cheeks get red as she sat beside me, "…Maybe"

"You have never said something so illicit-"

"Shut up that was my sex drive pardon me while I go back into my shell."

"Hahaha! Damn right, you were way too OOC a while ago."

"You know, it's weird. If it was another guy you would be upset, but it's Uta and you're really calm about it"

"I'm actually, not so comfortable but I know U chan is really nice. I just, a relationship with Uta is not really, possible- well not for you guys I mean there might be a chance."

"But do you think he likes me? Do you- wait!" I shouted my eyes widening as a thought came into my head. "Ask him tonight! Ask him how he feels about me!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yesssssss"

She groaned. "Fine…..About the beds…."

"Queen, Kings Double… I think I should get you a double- is it a yes or no?"

"It's a…." She said taking a guess, she caught glance of the clock jumping up, "I have to leave!" She said leaning over kissing me on the forehead before dashing to the front door slamming it shut behind her.

I sighed.

/ **Later that Day** /

"Hey Tyler." I said when the door opened and I saw Tyler standing in a jumper suit some dried paint on his clothes.

"Kai-chan" He said giving me a small hug. I stepped into his house.

"Where's your mom and you little brother?"

"Grocery shopping."

"Oh" I rested my bag on the small table once we reach into his small art studio. Hung up on his painting stand was his current art piece.

"Tyler this was due last week Wednesday." I said looking at it. It was pretty legit. I was seeing heavy cubism and some rhythmic colors that stood out from the portrait of a Rasta man smoking.

"Ahhh yeah but some good begging got me an extension to next week Wednesday."

I scratched my head….next week Wednesday…. "Tyler that's 5 days from now, today is Thursday and knowing you there is no way you are going to finish that in time"

"Gahhhhh, I know I know, I haven't done the fine tuning yet and to make it worse there is a lot of brushing up to do!"

"There is…." I mumbled looking at it. Tyler to me was an amazing artist. I think anyone in this world would realize that. He wasn't the spontaneous eye-catching artist that grabbed the instant attention a buyer wanted, but he was the artist that once you looked at his piece, you were immediately mesmerized. His artworks were always so neat. The brushes he used were literally handmade by him which I think add to the perfection of his piece. You could never find a flaw in color, brush style, space or movement. But the major flaw was his confidence. I have watched this person burn a 100 grand looking piece because he felt it never looked good. He looked down on his piece, was poorly motivated when it came to submitting something that was more than worthy and worse, he moved very slowly.

"H-How is it?" He asked walking to where I was standing looking at it. "It's not alive yet, but it's close to birth." *****

"I can feel it. Aummm"

I looked around the room and got some empty painting shells and went to the sink in the room washing them out. "Do you need help mixing with as usual?"

"Y-Yea, gosh you know me so well," He said laughing embarrassed.

I turned around looking at him.

"You haven't slept last night have you?"

"Not even a wink, I just- I want it to be perfect and it's nowhere near there."

"Come on don't worry, that feeling shall soon come, your **AE*** is brewing it's not ready to occur as yet."

He frowned stooping to the floor looking at it. I washed the last container before pushing it into the huge palette taking the empty shells with me. I went next to him stopping ruffling his hair.

"Stop blowing it out of proportion. Your gonna finish it on time."

"Maybe…."

I ruffled his hair again feeling the soft ashy brunette strands in my hand. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and my heart thumped. I pulled away getting some paint filling the shells as I added acetone and a little water blending it together to get that nice wet fluffiness.

I can't let the eyes get to me, I can't be a sucker for eyes.

"Oh, your artwork is due on Wednesday too. You got the extension due to the…ghoul attack incident."

I paused…."oh."

"Yeah, aumm about that-are you okay? My mom was really surprised and very worried when I told her. We went to your apartment and-"

"Oh I ahh, I moved."

"You did? Where?"

"I'm at a friend now where gonna live together for a while."

"That's nice…"

"Yeah, and I need the company."

The convo stopped as the front door closed.

"KAI CHAN! IS HERE KAI CHAN IS HEREEEEEEEEE" A familiar voice said excitingly as I heard small footsteps running towards the art room.

"Terel!"

"Onee chan!" He ran into my arms and I hugged him tightly twirling around with him.

"Terel you're so adorable!" I said squeezing him as he giggled in my grasp.

Terel was Tyler's younger brother he was just 6 years old and in my eyes the most adorable thing ever. Terel was nearly the splitting image of Tyler. Same big blue eyes and ashy brown hair except unlike Tyler shaggy hair Terel's hair was straight was more combed over to the left and his eyes were much larger- way much larger and brighter. Okay I admit it I was a sucker for eyes. But he was so adorable. I loved him like my own and since I was an only child he was also like a brother to me.

This side of me, this affection was the side Itori got and was aware of but never knew I gave to someone else. She never liked Tyler though, in her eyes he was a target that she said, 'kissed up to me in search of affection'. Since we were both passionate artist with good talent and attended the same university, I had no choice but to cave into someone. As much as I kept to myself I had come to realize how weak and dependable I was on others. Tyler gave me warmth and affection I never received from being within a family, Itori gave the affection I _craved_ and _desired_ from a family, by just being there for me and ultimately, loving me. Yet I was grateful to him for being there for me even though it was obvious we were still not very close. I was probably closer to Terel than Tyler. He was such an intelligent and adorable child.

"Oh Dear, Kaisa chan you're okay!" Tyler's mom said coming from around the corner she had some bags in her hand. I walked to her taking the bag from her smiling. "I'm so relieved, we went to visit but you weren't there, we were so worried, we never knew-"

"It's okay-I'm fine." I said smiling. Tyler's mom was so caring. I tried not to get too close to them though but yet their kindness I loved. I guess it's because I never really had a family and felt enamored when I was around them.

"Kai chan, mommy will be making rice balls with meat fillings, aren't those your favorites?!"

"Of course they are, are you gonna help mommy make them?" I asked curiously looking down on the ball of excitement as his little fingers clung to the counter as he tried to jump up.

"Hmmmm well…." He looked down to his feet holding the teddy bear in his hand. He still had this teddy. Ever since I met him he always had it, according to Tyler it was a gift his father gave to him before he walked out on them. "I like helping momma to look after the food, but today Kai chan is here and….I want to spend time with Kai chan."

I blushed lightly. How could he be so cute? I hugged him pulling him into my arms as I lifted him up. "Here's what we're gonna do, you help mommy cook and hmmm, isn't your birthday coming around soon-"

"YES! I'm turning 7!"

"Yaaaaay, well I am gonna take you out and you can spend an entire day with me then~"

"REALLLY!"

"Yup, but your gonna have to cook with momma every day from now on, and be a really really good boy" I said smiling

"Yaaaaaaaaaay!" He shouted jumping in my arms.

"He definitely has a liking to you, he talks about you nearly every day." Tyler's mom said unpacking the grocery.

I smiled and we small-talked until I went back to Tyler to help him with his art.

"Someone got jealous?" I teased smiling as he blushed looking at me. We continued working till we all had dinner. Terel passed out before the TV while Tyler and I washed the plates and his mother cleared the table. They weren't a rich family but they average like me.. Tyler had a part time job and his mother had two. It was only magical just imagining how she manages to give her sons time and love.

"So when are you gonna start your piece?"

"Oh….I don't know, I don't even know what I'm gonna do." I said drying the glass before putting it on the plate holder.

"Knowing you, your AE can literally come in the middle of the night." He teased.

"Shhhhh, crap what time is it?"

"Aummm" He dried his wet hands looking at his watch, "hm…minutes to 7."

"Oh I have to hurry to the department store!"

"For what?"

"I have to go look at some beds, for the new apartment."

"Oh."

I grabbed my stuff telling everyone bye before leaving the apartment. Once I reached out the building I immediately light-jogged to the Home Department store since luckily Tyler lived not too far from the city, and I knew the area like the back of my hand since it was a pretty open and safe district. The 24th ward. As long as I don't let the curfew at 8 catch me I would be fine. I pushed the door stepping into home department store.

I pulled out my phone. I would need to text this damn woman Itori, plus, it would be good if she saw my text seeing she was at some fancy place with Uta.

I sighed.

I wanted to see him for some reason deep inside but at the same time I knew I needed to avoid seeing him. Almost like I wanted to be with him but weren't meant to be. I walked through the isles staring at the beds. I tapped my phone screen…should I call him…..I pressed the call button.

I swallowed putting it at my ear.

 _Say hi…tell him to tell Itori your gonna text her and you needed to ensure she was gonna respond. That way she will pick up when he tells her what we spoke about in the morning- yeah! Perfect excuse to just hear his voice._

Wait…I wasn't that desperate hell no. But…it's because I like him!

As soon as I heard it ringing I hung up. What the hell was I doing! I swallowed and tried to calm myself down. No way I would end up making a fool of myself.

I did ask Itori to ask him if he liked me. So maybe I could start there.

I messaged her.

 _Itori, I'm at the Home Department Store and I need a response, you see I was aumm….kinda thinking about it. I don't wanna be forceful if you know what I mean, but I need a response.  
7:18:24 pm  
MESSAGE SENT._

I walked around and continued looking at the beds. I saw one in particular I really wanted.

"Interested madam?"

"Oh, aumm yeah, this bed….how much is it, it has a sale sign."

"It's a temper-pedic bed it's going at a really nice discount of 20%. Its $4899.00"

"Wow that's reasonable" _no not really that's too expensive for a bed._

"It is madam."

"Ummm do you have it in king size?" _say no so I don't look poor and frown and walk away like it was a disappointment._

"Most definitely madam."

"Great!" _…..fuck_

My phone suddenly beeped. I tapped the screen reading the message.

 _I know what you mean.  
7:25:51  
MESSAGE RECEIVED._

I blinked looked at the screen before furiously tapping it and hitting send.

 _Well? What is the response?! Don't let me make a decision on my own that might end up being regretful!  
7:26:05  
MESSAGE SENT._

I growled deeply. If I made a decision on my own I would end up just falling for him even more and it might become one sided.

"Ma'am are you interested in purchasing today?"

"Y-Yes, here is my aumm card." I said handing it to him. I was already in love with this bed I'm surprised it's just not sold out as yet. But it was expensivvvvve.

"Thank you please follow me to the cashing area."

"Of course." I mumbled sighing inside. I gave in to my guilty pleasure. Desire over survival. I need a good night's rest in a well-deserved bed- I'm an artist after all, a good sleep does a lot for stressful nights over a problematic piece.

My phone beeped again and I looked at the screen. I froze.

 _It's a solid no. Definitely.  
7:28:11  
MESSAGE RECEIVED._

 _By the way are you cooking tonight? You shouldn't make any for me. Uta and I decided to stay longer. He likes the party more than I expected.  
7:28:23  
MESSAGE RECEIVED._

I swallowed. My eyes began burning…..a solid no….

"Ma'am, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, aumm where is your bathroom?"

He pointed over at the sign and I nodded as I walked over to the bathroom going to the female section. I stopped and stared into the mirror and washed my face. This was a joke right. A solid no. You tried to kiss me, you played all these sexual hints, you messed around with my feelings only to give me a solid no. The first night at the bar, the long gazes….the intimate sessions of sexual attraction I had just looking and admiring you, the hospital moment, the time in the kitchen, at my house when you even tried to kiss me?! A damn….solid no…are you serious?

 _It's a solid no. definitely._

I rested my hand on the counter of the face basin and stared at the water going down the sink as I felt my heart ache in my chest. I hate this. I looked in the mirror…..no way in hell I was going to cry over him anyways. I need to go drinking, celebrate my success of dodging a relationship of being in love with a jerk that solidly rejects people that like him.

I left the bathroom paid for the bed selecting 3 days for it to be delivered and left.

For a day like this I know exactly which bar to go. It's not like I was going to drink a lot anyways.

"Another glass." I said making a small hiccup before slouching over the bar table.

"Young miss, this is your 8th glass."

"Huuuuuuuuuh! I never ask- asked you anything. Gimme anotheeeerrr"

He looked at me frowning. "Is there anyone I should call for you?"

"I don't know, call my mommy, but she's gone, and so is my daddy….and my grandparents…."

He looked at me. I never knew what he was thinking but I could see the pity in his eyes. He was old and had a kind face. He reminded me of a bunny.

"Bunny."

"Bunny, is that the nickname for your boyfriend, do you have one, give me his number I will call him."

"Uta?"

"His name is Uta?"

I pouted, "Maybe…."

"M-Ma'am, I need to call someone to come and pick you up, you're terribly drunk."

"Im not dwunk!"

He sighed.

"Bunny san, gimme another drink."

"Okay, I will give you another drink."

"Yaaaaaay OPPPAAAAA!"

"Only if you give me your cellphone."

"Wahhhhhh? Will I have to paaaay?"

"No, I just want to see it for a second- please."

"Okay, here ya go!" I said dropping the phone on the table as I looked at him, "You bwetter not be lying to me, gimme gimme, gimme the drink pweaaaaaseeeee"

"Okay," he said pouring me the clear liquid, and passed me the glass as I drank it down in a gulp.

He went in the phone and turned away. I never really care. Voldka voldka gimme more and lots and lots.

"Listen, your boyfriend said you're to stay here, he's coming to pick you up okay?"

"Huuuuuuuuuuh? No I have to go! I have to go!"

"Huh no wait on your boyfriend, here, I'll give you another one"

"Weaaaaaaalllly"

"Y-Yeah, more vodlka mixed with some henessy, for a woman you really managed 4 glasses before budging"

"Mooooreeeeee, gimme more"

He sighed and poured me a next glass.

"Yaaaaaaaay" I drank it as it run down my chin and soaked the collar of my shirt. "Gahhhhhhhh, tastes good" I spurted as I wiped my mouth.

"More?"

"Yesssssssss"

 **25 MINUTES LATER.**

"One moooooorreeeeeeeeeee" I begged with hiccups as he sighed frustrated.

"Listen, I lost count after you 23rd glass, then I started giving you some milk, no more milk"

"Gimme milllllk"

"No"

"Kaisa chan?"

I turned around to see Uta in a very stunning Tuxedo.

"…This is a dream…."I murmured to myself squinting my eyes to see him better before I turned back around on the bar stool tipsy and blurry vision.

"Ah is that your boyfriend?"

"Ehhhhh no- I don't know him."

"Kaisa chan you're very drunk, lets go."

"Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" I rebelled kicking my legs.

I felt two hands on my waist lifting me off the stool. His arm wrapped around me holding me as I kicked my legs frantically cursing as he treated me like a five year old.

"Put me down."

"Kaisa chan I'm taking you home." He said putting some cash on the bar surface as the bunny bartender sighed smiling seeing that I would no longer empty his drinks. Or bar.

"Let me go I don't want to see you- you dumper!"

"What? Kaisa your drunk and saying irrelevant things. Is this all your stuff?" he asked picking up my shoulder bag. "-I'm talking you home."

"Nuuuuu your gonna take me home to dump me all over again I'm gonna scream!"

"Kaisa I'm not going to-"

"STALKKKKKER, PERVERTTTTTTT, HE'S TRYING TO TAKE ME AWAY! HE'S GOING TO HURT ME I DON'T KNOW HIM SOMEONE HELP ME PLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEEEEE"

Everyone in the bar turned around I had quite a loud voice. Kinda surprised myself. I wonder if I can go higher, poor Uta. Bad Uta bad. Now you won't get to take me home you called this on yourself. Mwhahahahahahaha!

"Kaisa chan…"

"Hey, dude, is what she saying true. You come up in here in a work suit and shades., Who wears shades this time of the night anyways? Listen, let the woman go and we will pretend you weren't even here." A man said raising from his chair.

Uta looked at him.

"Hehe, to believe he would prey on a drunk young girl, have you no shame." Another man said who was at the pool table with his biker friends.

The bartender gave a worried expression, "Umm wait I was the one who called him he's actually a friend-" He said but his voice went unheard as the men crowded around Uta.

Oppps, seems like I got him into trouble….

Uta arm around me suddenly tightened.

"Uta?"

* * *

"Pwuuu and powwwwww! You were so strong you hit them down in one go!" I said running through the hall twirling in circles. I paused at the beverage machine. I ruffled my hand through my shorts getting some coins before slamming them in the coin hole choosing some beer.

"Kaisa chan I don't think you should be drinking anymore."

"Shut it." I ordered as the beer came out and I took it cracking the top turning it to my head.

The can moved from my lips as Uta pulled it away holding it in the air.

"Unfair I can't gettt it! Uta give it to me give it to me give it to me!" I said reaching for it. He was too tall- damn you Uta!

Stoop so I can reach you!

"Give it to meeeee!"

"The beer." He asked rhetorically.

"Pssht no your dick. I want your dick Uta give it to me lets have hard sex like there is no tomorrow- of course the beer….but… if you want sex I can-"

He picked me up throwing me over his shoulder. "I need to get you inside the apartment before someone hears you talking like this."

"Nuuuuu put me down!" I said kicking as I looked at the ground. I tried to force my way out of his grasp. He was too strong, there was nothing behind him that I could attack, wait- I squeezed his ass.

"Kaisa chan…" He said freezing.

"Put me down or I will bite you on your ass." I threatened.

I didn't even realize we were at our apartment door. He opened it. WAHHHHH- UTA KNOWS WHERE THE KEY IS HIDDEN TOO!

He puts me down and closes the door behind him.

I smirked hugging him from behind as I feel him pause.

"Uta chan~ Even though you took away the beer, can we still have sex?" I asked softly as my hands start working on his jacket buttons as I unbutton it and pull up his tucked now untucked shirt slipping my hand under his clothes and began caressing his stomach.

I can't help it. He is always in loose fitting clothes but when he wears a tuxedo I can't get my libido to calm down. I want to ravish him.

His hand stops mines as he pulls them out his clothes and turns around looking at me. I bit my lips grinning.

"Take off the fucking glasses, your sexier without them." I said pouting as he has both my hands pinned in his grip around both my wrist.

"Your awfully drunk." He says as I lean close to him tipping on my toes. Looking directly into the pitch blackness of his glasses

"What is it this time?"

"I want….to lick you"

"…What?"

His grip loosens completely and I knock his glasses off as they fall on the ground. He grips back my hands pinning them against the wall.

"You're **very** dangerous right now." He said narrowing his eyes at me.

"Officer Uta don't take me into custody, arresting me with such tenacious eyes~"

"Miss Kaisa I think its best I call Itori to deal with this, I don't know how to manage you in….. _this state_. "He said removing his grip as he reaches in his pocket for his phone.

"No, please don't…" I said wrapping my hands around his torso pressing my body against his. "I want you…"

He looked down at me. Yes….give me your attention baka.

I pull away a little resting my back against the wall behind me, my finger teasingly running down his jackets going over the undone buttons as I grip the edges pulling him towards me. I grin feeling him against me. His expression doesn't change but he 'is' looking at me.

"What are you trying?"

"To get you in my bed~" I whisper as I begin unbuttoning his shirt looking up at him. I undo the button staring into his eyes the entire time. "Don't act like you don't want to go there, you might be fighting it, but right now your eyes tell me how much you want to just bite me….everywhere…..don't you."

He pins my hands on each side of my head against the wall as I hear him curse under his breath as he buried his face in my neck and I feel his lips gently brush over my skin.

"Don't fight the animal inside you, come on" I whisper as me pulls away a little his eyes looking at mine.

Oh my god he is actually giving in! I'm winning.

My hand goes across his chest upwards to his neck as I find myself lusting over his body. My fingers run through his hair. My nails move through his scalp feeling the soft silky strands against my fingers. I leaned in and kissed his chest.

"You're…so damn evil….you know I like you, but to give me a solid no…you're so evil." I cursed as I kissed his chest one of my hand running downwards and over his torso.

I feel myself slowly getting more and more aroused as I inhaled the scent of his body. So masculine and raw the faint smell of blood which gave him that wild untamed nature that I loved about him. No, not faint, tonight the scent of blood was stronger richer but I liked that so much about him was it some raw masculine- new Axe man perfume?

"Kaisa chan you should stop before this-"

"Shhhhhhh" I press my finger against his lips, damn they are so soft and plushy!

So smooth and soft- like bunnies and clouds- Bunny Clouds!

I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him down as I tipped reaching his lips with mines. Our lips met and I felt myself leading as I got completely engaged in the interaction deepening the kiss as I pulled away to witness his lustful gaze.

I felt him lift me as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Yaaaay sex."

"Yay." he said in a monotone voice.

He carried me to the couch resting me on it looking down at me. He began to release me to pull away.

"Nu!"

"Kaisa-"

"Nu! My Uta!"

He sighed. There was no way I was going to give up.

"Stay with me."

He nodded. I was surprised he actually agreed to this as I watched him raise up with me sitting me in his lap as he looked away.

"Uta"

"Yes Kaisa Chan"

"I need to vomit….all the alcohol- it's coming back up."

* * *

 **AE*: Art Explosion. Term used for the instant drive you get during your art work.**

 **Please leave your reviews!**


	7. RE- Rejection

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Please enjoy!** **  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

 **Re-Rejection**

Itori opened the door looking around the dark apartment. She was worried. Uta suddenly left the event saying that he had something he had to urgently attend to. Usually he doesn't leave after he auctions his favorite _products_. Especially when they cry and refuse to go to their new buyers and he has to _discipline_ them so they know their position and grow some immediate respect.

She switched on the light and pauses when she finds Uta in the couch in the living room relaxing. As soon as she approaches closer he sits up sighing.

"If I told you why I left I was sure you would have come too." He muttered as he rose up obviously signs in his eyes that he was exhausted and falling asleep.

"What do you mean? Why did you leave and why are you here- you could have called me instead of coming all the way U chan."

He frowned as he slipped his hand in his pants pockets. "I received a call from the bartender of Charlie's Playground; the bar at 4th Bailey Street. He said Kaisa was very drunk and needed to be brought home."

"W-What?" Itori said as she dropped the bag and looked around the apartment and a worried expression had immediately befallen upon her face.

"Don't worry she is in bed. Sleeping soundly….well, now at least."

"Well wow I neve- wait…badly drunk…how drunk like a little weak in the legs or like a bad case of dizziness or aumm….completely a different person"

"…..a completely different person." he mumbled as he witnessed Itori face-palm and sighed.

"I will say it from now, I'm sorry you had to see that side of her. When she drinks….it's like she is 12…very childish and amazingly- the opposite of composed….sexual and stuff- did she come on to you?"

"I think that goes without a response…."

"Oh dear, even though you confessed to liking her today things moved from 15 to 100 in a big jump. Well- wait- you didn't get in bed with her right?!" she asked looking at him-no- glaring, especially at the last part.

"No, the closest I went was to put her in it and take her out repeatedly. She brought everything back up…a few times in a row."

"Well that saves me from a morning mess. Thanks for….dealing with something like that." she said softly blushing lightly. Kaisa won't live this down. Never.

"We're ghouls. We have tortured humans till they were reminded that they are merely organisms, mammals and animals. We have seen the worst."

"True enough aumm….she asleep?"

"She was lightly groaning, she stopped after I gave her a stuffed animal she had on the table and kept calling for."

"Perfection." she replied before sighing. She walked to the kitchen putting on the kettle.

"I'll take my leave now."

"sure…fuck….."

Uta paused going to the kitchen looking at her a bit concerned. "What?"

"I think, I told Kaisa that you don't like her, and because of that she drank…a lot."

"Oh…how- so in a misunderstanding- you said that I refused her interest?"

"Well she asked if you liked her through me and, I gave her a response that I think she misinterpreted."

"She…"

"Well both of us."

"A response that I said _what_ to her feelings?"

"hmm….a solid no…"

"Itori chan that makes me sound like a jerk."

She sighed deeply. "It's okay…I'll ahh…somehow in some strange and abnormal way since this is going to be awkward- fix it. You can go."

"Okay." he looked at her one last time. He hoped she fixed it since that was his opposite response.

Itori carried the ginger tea into the room after she had finished making it. Kaisa was curled up under the sheets but she could see her and hear her breathing.

"At this rate she might catch a cold if her hand is sticking out like that." Itori said looking at the human on the bed sleeping so carelessly with her hand out the sheets and hanging off the bed. She tucked her hand back in and poked Kaisa on her boob. She immediately opened her eyes in defense mode cringing as the hangover slap her in the face.

"Don't worry, its just 3 in the morning." She said looking at the noriet that sat up slowly. Her face was slightly swollen, her eyes were red and she had dried drool on her chin. So…pretty. (sarcasm)

"W-where is Uta?"

"Not even Welcome Home, How was the event, I love you- but instead 'where is Uta'"

"Sorry…..welcome home~…..h-h-how was the vevent…..I wuv you…you look pretty"

She smiled lightly rolling her eyes. "Your mildly drunk-but drink this, your half asleep and look like a mess. First aumm, I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry? For what?"

Itori frowned. She thought back to the event.

Uta was in his room speaking with kyle. Itori was staring at the human in the cage poking him as he flinched. She was wearing her mask and smiling brightly underneath. This human obviously was in a mental stage horrified at this point and crazy. She covered the cage back with the sheet as she turned to Uta.

"I heard he is a police man," she said raising the mask.

"oh~ I wanted to penetrate him, but he was so mentally ill~ he is so handsome too~"

"Oh nico chan- wait, why don't we sell the business man with him the one you were playing with all week?"

"Oh, I ended up hurting him a little, but maybe it could be a nice price, he is _very_ tolerant~"

"Oh~ sell him, U chan….I want to auction him-"

"No- if he is tolerant then I'm sure is gonna refuse to be sold, so having him get stricken shall be a good entertainment." Uta said as he fixed his tux.

"Nico get the business man." Uta ordered.

"Without delayyyy~" he said leaving the room as he dragged the covered cage with him by the chain like instead of the barred metal square it was attached to a dozen of plastic bottles.

Itori turned to Uta sighing. "This is awkward but it seems that Kaisa feelings are strong, I think she really wants to reach somewhere, with you, that's how she feels."

Uta turned to her as he looked at her pausing. "What else…does she feel?"

"Well you know the typical 'I like you stuff'. She desires you and once your name pops up her ahh- she brightens up a little. Don't flatter yourself U chan. I'm the one who makes her boat sails and you know that."

He pouted, "Itori chan that's mean, you might hurt my true feelings for her."

"True feelings?" she rose an eyebrow and the smiled. "You guys are crazy! It's like a romantic comedy but it has a tragedy. Both different species, two different people, never works…never had- never will. My information is tight….if there was a way- I would let you know."

He leaned against the wall. "What did she ask you to do? You wouldn't come here telling me this without purpose." he asked looking at her as she looked at him frowning.

"She wants to know how you feel."

"Am I allowed to answer that?"

"Eh…what does that mean?" she asked giving him one hell of a glare. "You answer me and keep in fact that I am _in_ this equation." She growled.

"If you weren't in the equation, I would have raped her." he said looking at her with a very serious expression.

"You animal!" she said her eyes activating as she barked at him.

"If you weren't- but you are, so instead…" he said quickly as he watched her calm down. "I was just teasing… but instead I want to _have_ her gently, correctly, I'm interested."

She blinked. She poked him on his chest. " Hello- where is U chan….this guy in his skin just said something very un-Uta like with his voice. What do you even like about _my_ Kaichi?"

He shrugged. "Too many questions in such a short time~" he teased playfully while putting on his mask as the event required his presence by the sound of the opening act.

"W-what- tellll meeeeee!" she said putting back on her mask as he walked off and behind the curtains into the flashing lights.

She stomped her foot and hissed.

 _Damn U chan_.

Itori sighed deeply as she blinked looking at Kaisa.

"So…he really likes you."

"What…."

"Yes...he really, really likes you- well that is what he said but I think it's just crazy cause he is a very-"

"He really likes me?!" Kaisa yelled looking at Itori.

Itori nodded. "Like I said, he doesn't usually like people he is never a romantic guy-"

"B-but he said…"

"Just- get some rest okay?"

"I led him on tonight he was really holding back I could feel it. I think- I think he really likes me and he was looking out for the care of my vulnerability."

"Or….he wasn't even interested in you and he just wanted you to rest, trying to push you off with a smile." Itori said looking at her smiling but Kaisa wasn't smiling back instead she became sullen. "I mean aumm- d-drink the tea and go to bed okay. I will turn up the AC to make it even cozier- j-just the way you like it."

Kaisa nodded and took the tea drinking it.

She left the room closing the door behind her as she leaned against it. Without realizing it she just acted mean to Kaisa- but it was because of Uta! She couldn't stand watching her fall head over heels with someone as heartless and emotionless as Uta who so called 'really likes her'. Even if he came to her help tonight maybe it was just to leave the show for a while. It never made sense, when it came to Uta it never usually does. Because Uta was like that. Odd, mysterious, different and dark. But put him with Kaisa and it's like putting a fish in a volcano. Someone gets hurt. And it was obvious the fish would die….it was obvious the fish was Kaisa. There was no way it would work. There was no way it was possible.

Uta pulled off his tux as he undid the vest putting it on the hanger going right down till he was bare and stepped in his shower as the water sprayed from the showerhead faucet and unto his body. He stared at the tiled wall before him.

Tonight was probably an encounter quite similar to the one he felt very long ago in his early youth when he hadn't eaten for a month. When he had to hold back so tenderly off killing his own men before he came upon humans. But even so erupted the birth of cannibalism.

But back then the pressure of self-control was similar to now. And unlike in the past when he lost it, tonight he had to hold out and pay very dearly by suffering inside.

It was hard to hold back on her, when she was so easy. So easy that since he reached at the bar the could've pulled her into an alley way and just devour her, not eat her, but sexually devour her with every urge he had. It was wrong. He never felt like this not to a girl much less a human.

He had been with female before, they were ghouls, and if it wasn't a curious test of sexual experiments or just a release of sexual frustration it was then something sexual that ended into a meal. One of them was left standing, and as reality states- he was alive. But from he saw her at the bar, she was intriguing and her beauty caught him. She was equally beautiful as Itori but unlike Itori's dangerous and alluring nature Kaisa carried some level of innocence and intrigue. The scent of her blood was delicious which made him curious how an eater like Itori held back on this human friend so long.

Along with such a curious thought was the fact that they had so much in common. Her art. It wasn't like he didn't know her work in the market. Kaisi- Kaisa Teressi. And once he saw her in person he became even more intrigued in her, he wanted to see her more, and if it wasn't her creative art, there was her photgraphic art. Fifty grand was worth two of his own*. And seeing that he got others, it was worth the cost. But he wanted to know her more and liked her so much because she was simply different.

He realized his true attraction to her the second time he met her at the bar when the guy bumped into him. He never had to move since such weak force against him wouldn't make him budge but it was a good excuse to get closer to her…physically. He knew then he really liked her, and it grew from that, from liking her as a crush to an attraction then an urge and now a desire for her. Now worse for him today when he had to fight against this type of temptation.

 _I want….to lick you_

 _I want you…_

How was he to deal with her in that state?

Then lick me….I want you too. As much as those wanted to slip out he had to hold on to them.

 _Don't act like you don't want to go there, you might be fighting it, but right now your eyes tell me how much you want to just bite me….everywhere…..don't you_?

He turned off the water and covered his mouth as his wet hair stuck to his skin with the water dripping down his body. He didn't just want to bite her, gosh, he wanted to fuck her- rip her and watch her just beg for him- to have his way to his heart's content.

He stepped out the shower drying his body getting dressed as he released a sigh going to the refrigerator and getting an eye from his bowl of eyes staring into the fridge.

Yes he was fighting the animal inside and yes she could call him as evil as much as she wanted but he knew what he was doing to himself was evil. He took the entire bowl out and began licking and chewing as he leaned against the counter after closing the fridge.

It was a sexual torture he never felt before or inflicted upon himself of just fighting the urge to do to her as he wanted. It wasn't the same when you liked someone this badly and couldn't have your heart's desire. Instead you were left waiting and wandering. At first he enjoyed the teasing but now he really wanted to make a move. Worst if he made a move would he want to continue or would he be displeased?

The answer was obvious anyways. She liked him, he liked her. Now that he verified that today- wouldn't it mean he never had to hold back, doesn't this mean he could make the first move.

There were many things that crossed his mind how could he even put all this into act if he never wanted to push it too fast and make it feel rushed either, well, things usually are abrupt, most of the girls he met usually they had sex the following day or the day after that. This was 2 weeks so far now. Completely new to him. He shouldn't be focusing on sex either what about her as a person, but like Itori said she was a human how was it going to-

His finger hit the base of the bowl and he looked down into the empty bowl frowning.

He never liked eating when he was thinking up a storm.

He wiped the stained blood at the base with his finger licking it off as he pouted staring at the now clean, spotless and _empty_ bowl.

"…..I need more eyes."

* * *

 **I liked this chapter. It brought** **out things from Itori's side and Uta's side that I really got to wipe off the slate so I can get some advancement going on. I hope you guys liked. Please favorite, follow and review!**


	8. Habitat

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **~After every storm, there is a rainbow~**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

 **Habitat**

It has been two days…two. Long. Devastating. Days.

I woke up with the curse of drunkeness having the ability of remembering everything. And not bits and pieces but literally…everything.

Why did I drink-just why did I drink! I knew that I was a slutty drunkard. I show more feelings, I reflect my inner emotions and of course notoriously, I act like a 16 year-old horny teenager!

I couldn't. I just couldn't. As if the reminisce of the event wasn't bad enough, more was the stagnant reality of living in my apartment stuck there like a house rat just reminding me of the fact that it really did happen. But that was bad? No- I mean me not being able to forget and suffering from the trauma was not enough evil to torment me, the second half was Itori.

I woke up the next morning before turning into a bawling mess as I recalled the previous night and she was there to console my drunk sad self in the morning when I was fully.

But today was a new day!

I knew the truth it was whole misunderstanding and to top it off- I was gonna move today. Last two days our new apartment has been being checked out by plumber, painter, electrician, pest control and realtors just to ensure its safe habitable and in need of any infrastructure redevelopment plus with the links that Itori has it was done and done fast and easy.

And cheap.

I carried the boxes all up to our new apartment taking out the papers to lay out on the floor. Today before everything that would happen I would be base painting what the painter had to do on the crease of the walls and the bottom of the walls and door jams making this place classy and good looking. Itori wrapped up with the last of the shopping. Something we never realized about our apartment was not only was it on the highest floor but we had a flipping balcony. On top of that, the kitchen had a sexy bar area, and lastly all the rooms had built in hidden closets. We did not….know this. HOW COULD WE NOT HAVE KNOWN THIS!

Gladly we only bought one closet but I never had much clothes in the beginning so that could go to Itori cause that once built in closet would not do her quantity of clothing justice. Let us not forget her clothing line. Her fucking, online clothing line….once again- what am I doing with my life? So therefore today I would finish my little touch ups of painting. I moved from my room to the bathroom and then finally to the living room area. I blew out all the candles I lit in the house from the day before since it was a little ritual of mine. The apartment smelt dusty and locked up so the little scented fragrance added to the airy sensation the room had which made it felt like home. I also do it like a religious thing to rid dark auras, evil spirits and bad omens. Don't judge. Once I was done I began packing out the glasses in the cabinet. Itori bought all these glasses and I was grateful. They looked all high class and stylish there was literally no way to tell the old from the new ones since all her glasses looked new and classy. A bartender's taste and style I think. I wasn't even gonna judge the ones she recently purchased since everything she bought had that rich taste of royalty and classiness that would just have you swearing they just came off the market. Luckily I cleaned the fridge, the bathrooms and scrubbed the balcony floors to have it looking new and well done. I had left detergents and removers on them overnight to soak so with one wipe, they should look sparkly clean.

I grabbed my cell and using the little notebook I had, I called a couple numbers. There was no way I could move all these stuff on my own and so gladly Itori gave me a list of numbers I should call in a specific order. I was glad she did this since I knew no shit of interior designing and from what she sketched and showed me it looked pretty legit. As a matter a fact I really liked it. While I was on calls I had my turkey sandwich with some orange juice and walked around ensuring there was nothing out of place or in the way for when the movers came. I put my hair into a high bun pining the unruly strands behind and getting my gloves on. Itori said she would be coming early so she should be here soon. I made a sandwitch for her too….I hope she doesn't stand me up. I really want her to be here for the moving in and stuff.

The doorbell rang and I bounced out the chair going to the door.

"Hi."

"Hello we are Uzumaki Gardening and Décor."

"Y-Yeah, I'm Kaisa Terresi, I called yesterday you guys were to come in at 8 to do our balcony."

"Yes that's us aumm just direct us we have the plants, furnitures and everything ready so we might have about 3 other person coming throughout your house if you don't mind."

"Not at all aummm, let me direct you to the balcony." I said smiling looking at him there was another guy with him and they seemed pretty friendly.

"Wow it's a moderate size." He said looking around once we reached the balcony.

"Thank you aumm, I wasn't the person who spoke to you on the phone so I don't exactly know the style format."

"Oh no problem it was Itori san. We helped her with her bartending decoration in the bar already and she is an amazing partner of our company. She already explained so just leave the rest to us."

"Oh really, well if you guys need anything let me know okay?"

"No problem."

I smiled and left moving to the kitchen. Now I see why she told me to carry 2 jugs of water and some juice since we had workers coming in. Maybe I should bake a nice pastry. Yup, I should bake a cake.

 _Ding dong_

"Coming."

I walked to the door and opened it to see a plumber standing in front me.

"Plumber?"

"Oh, hey, aumm I came here yesterday to work on the laundry pipe. I came back to finish fixing it, the lady here yesterday was a red haired lady, is she here?"

"Ahh no, I'm her roommate though we're best friends."

"Ahh I see. The thing is the pipe, it's just some small altercation should take 30 minutes the most."

"No problem." I said as he stepped in already finding the laundry room. I was about to close the door when two other guys in the gardening uniform came in with some toolkit and plants.

I sighed after smiling and closing the door. More people are popping up, okay make that should be two pastries. I stepped out going back to the original apartment and as I turned the corner to our hall I saw some men in white onsies standing knocking at my door.

"Woah woah, you guys are?"

They turned around all in onsies and hats. "We are the Deckham movers. We are to move the stuff from this apartment to the one at Room 400."

"Oh yeah, that's the new room this is the old one, I'm sorry I was upstairs."

"No problem, just show us what to move and we will get it done."

"Okay." I shuffled for the key pushing it in the door opening the apartment that would no longer be my home after today.

"First we will start with the green boxes those are for the kitchen, red boxes go to the rooms, blue boxes are for the bathrooms and the orange boxes are miscellaneous please be careful with them.

"Understood."

"Great and the furniture people will be here soon for the orders we made. We will be having a dresser, two beds: one queen size and one king, a five piece living room set, a break front, a glass dining table, three small tables….what else, oh yea- Three bathroom mirrors, a carpet and some curtains"

"Woah that space must be big." one said jotting it all down in a small book.

"It is, now can we get moving? Please do the kitchen stuff first."

"No problem Mrs.….."

"Miss- Terresi."

"Right." He said smiling the guys began lifting and moving stuff around. I inhaled deeply before sighing completely exhausted as I flopped over the counter growling. I was right, the kitchen upstairs had some new décor work to get done. The cabinets on the wall had been eaten out and destroyed by the **now dead and removed** termites so they needed to be removed and last night Itori and I agreed to have an Island in the kitchen instead of a breakfast counter with swing chairs. We rather breakfast on the balcony. Well I did, she wasn't a breakfast person anyways.

My phone rang and I picked it up with an annoyed tone.

"Hello."

"Kaichi! Don't sound so gloomy."

"Sorry too late- I am already gloomed."

Itori sighed, "I'm on my way in a taxi~"

"Of course you are."

"Don't worry…"

"No you can't say that more people keep popping up. You never told me the Deckams would be moving around our stuff."

"Well you never expected me to have you moving all those boxes…"

"Aumm….no….well what about the plumber?"

"Oh he came back! Seems like he got the pipe we wanted."

"Yeah well he is doing that right now anyways…."

"Great what about the carpenter is he there yet? He has to get the cabinets off and start the island in the kitchen."

"No he's not here."

"Well he should be there soon I will call him, also I have to step out to go and choose the cupboards and the island anything you have in mind?"

I sighed. "I'm not too fancy about the cupboards but the island I want something elegant and stylish no sharp edges and I want it to have a single sink and please get me one with a dishwasher and a granite top. I hate it when it's not granite."

"Tsk, someone is picky."

"You assssssskkked."

"Yes I did, Kaichi- hold on. Taxi can you turn around and carry me to ViVa." She said to the taxi man.

"Send me some pics I'll just do that before I come home."

"Great thanks…I'm going back upstairs. Maybe the painter is here and the carpenter."

"Okaaaaaay, bye Kaichi."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone sighing as I turned around to see the apartment looking like a fucking ghost town. Damn those guys move fast.

I went back upstairs.

"Wo-woah! Be careful!" A man said from out at the balcony. I went out there they were fixing the railing. Holy shit there was no railing. I held on closely to the wall like it was my only source of life how could they be standing up on that outstretched piece of concrete with nothing around it!

"Oh Miss Terresi. Don't worry according to the design we needed to take out the old railings and replace them with new ones."

"R-Right" I said blinking as I held on even tighter feeling the breeze blow. Yes, I was scared of heights.

Well technically I'm not all that scared of heights that's not my fear, my fear is that I'm scared of falling from very high places.

There is a difference. A big difference.

"Miss Terresi, we're almost done moving all the boxes, should we start with the kitchen?"

I turned to one of the Deckham brothers, "Actually the carpenter is coming to work on the kitchen so could you guys start with the living room. The TV and stuff."

"No problem." he said smiling before going to the boys instructing them. I felt nervous, there was no way in hell I was going anywhere near the balcony for now. I went to the kitchen and began packing out my bakery stuff as one of the decham brothers came to help me.

"You like baking?"

"Yeah, I really like cooking but baking it's something I really adore."

"That's exceptional."

"Thanks, oh, pass that. I need the mixer."

"Sure."

It was small talk but at least I made a friend-ish. Tomorrow I knew for sure I would be sick due to all this face to face interaction with humanity.

 _Ding Dong_

20 minutes later I was signing some papers and watching the movers bringing my first batch of furniture. The closet, the breakfront and the two super comfy bed sets! We never bought everything at the same place but the beds -the beds! I was so happy to see the beds! I smiled moving into Itori room watching as they rested it down and her sexy gothic bed head. She is going to freak when she sees it. I showed her it on my phone saying that it was in an American store and she got instantly depressed wishing Japan had the same design. I literally scowered the stores to have the exact same thing imported and shipped here. I was really happy. But she will be happier!

Shit, speaking of photos I need to search for the island designs for the kitchen. I went into the living room curling up in an empty box and going to google images. I needed the privacy. I scrolled the net searching for islands till I found something intriguing or close to what I wanted and sent them to her in a mail. Our kitchen color was white and green so she knew brown mahogany cupboards were out.

The day was passing quite hectic I was already mixing my second batch of upside down pineapple cake to put in the oven and the second delivery of furniture came which was the 5 piece living room set and the glass table. The table came with 6 amazing chairs. The decham brothers wasted no time in getting our dining table set up and the dining room nicely arranged and styled.

"Oh crap the chandelier. There _should_ be a chandelier in here. It's it an orange box."

They looked at me pausing. "We're gonna have to pull the table apart."

One sighed, "It's okay- oh, I think I remember moving that box- it was a crystal chandelier right?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay lets pull the table a part set it up and put it back together." The main one said I think his name was Ukata.

"Yes sir." They replied as they began getting to work. I sighed walking out going to the kitchen getting the baking tins out and began pouring in the batter. Stove already preheated and the stuff for when they came out the oven were already on the counter.

"Damn chandelier. I need to remember where there any other light stuff. I'm sure the electrician already put up every light and switch-"

"Miss Terresi."

I turned around looking at this tall scruffy looking man.

"I saw the door open so I came in I'm sorry, I'm Janjero Muta, I'm the carpenter."

"You, your finally here, I have been waiting on you. Please start with the cupboards, Itori is getting the new ones she is also getting an island to be placed in the kitchen. When she arrives you and her talk about that- for now please get these cupboards down and change the wooden doors on the balcony to the sliding glass doors that are leaned up against the bar counter."

"Ah yes, aummm, are we still going to change the closet doors for both rooms."

"Shit, shit shit shit, I forgot about the flipping closets, yes, take them down."

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes. I forgot to order new closet doors, ughhh, thanks for reminding me I hope Itori hasn't left yet."

He smiled as he moved to the small table with his toolkit. "Oh this is my apprentice. His name is Makuzi, he is a mason in training I brought him to help out."

"Hi Makuzi, aumm, please do excuse me."

"Yes ma'am"

I shuffled through my jumper pocket reaching for my phone as I called Itori immediately sighing as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Tell me you haven't left."

"I am walking out the store now Kaichi, something wrong?"

"We forgot the closets doors."

"No that's okay I remembered while shopping for the stuff-"

"You did!"

"Yes, and remember the half bathroom on the end of the hall, we said we were gonna take off the wallpaper and replace it with tiles, and take out the rusty face basin."

"Oh crap I forgot about-"

"It's alright I got them and oh Kaichi, remember the carpet we choose for the hall I got the most sexiest matching tiles in the bathroom for that and to compliment the tribal prints on the carpet and I got some nice royal gold paint with teal linings for the ceiling and the floor with some African symbolic designs that stick onto painted walls, you think we can use it?"

"Y-Yeah." I said smiling…Wow….I'm so glad I'm going to be living with her. We got this amazing apartment and we are literally converting it to this amazing place that we will just utterly adore. If she wasn't here it would look so simple and ugly but I'm so glad she is here to do this with me.

"Are you listening?" she questioned on the other end.

"Eh?"

"Kaichiiiiiii- I said to let the plumber check the toilet in the hall!"

"Sure."

I hung up walking to the laundry room he seemed nearly wrapped up with all he was doing.

"How is it?" I questioned looking at the work he did, the pipes looking newer and more organized. He closed the wall ceiling it making it look almost unbelievable that there were pipes and stuff underneath.

"Well," he turned on one faucet and then the other and turned to me smiling, "Hot and cold water are basically perfect. The pressure in the laundry room is moderate so there shouldn't be a water problem."

"That sounds good, I just got off the phone with Itori can you take a look at the plumbing in the hall's bathroom. The toilet specifically just to ensure no leaking or anything."

"No problem." he said getting his tools and stuff together as he walked out heading to the second hall. We had two halls one for the main entrance and the other for the three bedrooms.

There was a knock on the door and I opened it, it must be the third delivery with the small tables, mirrors and the curtains and carpets finaaaaallly.

I had a little pep in my few steps as I moved to the door.

I swallowed, nope, it was not my small tables, mirrors and the curtains and carpets…

It was Uta.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you guys liked. Also Itori I felt my grasp on her has loosened I want to not pressurize on the OC-ness of Itori, she is fragile in writing than she looks-trust me, her character is not so easy, there are so many things you can have her do but at a certain pace and style she is idiosyncratic to desired words and actions. Renji shall be landing in on my story soon!**

 **3,454 words!- Hope you liked this chapter as much as I did writing it- please do not forget to favorite, follow and review! Thank you for reading!**


	9. His House-Welcoming

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Want to take this time to say thank you to all those who are reading and leaving reviews on this story. Thank you for all the favorites and the follows. I am very grateful and very happy! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

 **His House-Welcoming**

There was a knock on the door and I opened it, it must be the third delivery with the small tables, mirrors and the curtains and carpets.

I swallowed, nope….it was Uta.

"Kaisa chan, a gift, for your new house…and you."

"Huh?" my cheeks went red. I remembered everything that happened all over including the fact I misinterpreted the notorious _solid no_.

"Thanks." I said taking it from him, it was a glass of Mayberry Champagne and a small energy drink. I looked at it. Something so elegant with a….grocery store's energizer drink.

"The champagne is for tonight, the energizer is for now, since your moving and-"

There was a sudden break of glass. I turned around before rushing to the sound what was that- what the hell was that sound? Where did it come from?

I went in the living room to spot a frame of my parents shattered on the floor.

"Oh my god…"

I ran over to it picking up the fragile thin piece of paper.

It was more than twenty years old. A thin decaying paper dying slowly as the only remnant of the _family_ I couldn't even remember. A picture of my mother father both hugging me while I sat in a chair around the age of five. The typical family portrait. But as typical as it was it was a year before the incident that changed my life….so this _typical_ thing was all I had.

"I'm sorry Miss Terresi we never knew the bottom part of the box was slightly ajar. I'm terribly sorry, it's the only thing that fell through- the repairs can be taken from the pay- we are truly sorry."

"What- No, please, ummm" I looked at his badge, "It's okay Sasuni it's my fault I never taped it properly."

"Ahh yes ma'am. But be careful don't hurt yours-"

"Tsk, crap!" I hissed softly as piece of the glass pricked my finger. I felt the blood trickle down the skin followed by that burning sensation as I rose up.

Makuzi came helping me as he smiled kindly. "Please don't worry we will clean this up."

"Kaisa chan." I turned to Uta who let himself inside. "Come, where is the first aid?"

First aid, first aid, where did I put it.

I frowned as I inhaled deeply we were inside my room in the bathroom. I had already packed out the bathroom stuff putting the first aid kit in the bottom cabinet.

"Stop moving."

"I can't, the disinfectant burns…" I murmured as I watched my finger twitch a little as Uta dipped the cotton cube stick in the bottle soaking it in the disinfectant.

"How did you manage to let the splinter go this far into your finger?"

"It's not my fault, just…..just take it out…" I said hating this feeling. The room door was closed but the bathroom door was open I guess having anyone pass seeing me cringe in utter pain was just agonizing to live down. Since this damn piece of glass was stuck in my index finger was making me feel some bitch pain.

I was sitting on the counter of the bathroom area with Uta before me some medicines and stuff out. Worse cause scenario I could push him out the bathroom and curl in the bath and cry.

It hurts.

He took off his glasses and shifted one of the light down on us as he took the tweezer gently pressing it against the splinter.

(A/N: I can't really imagine him being gentle but I can imagine him doing it slowly.)

"Ouch!" I jolted the pain making me shift away as I hissed softly saying a couple curse words.

"Relax." He said looking at me and I look up at him. He seemed awfully reserved for something like this but then I was grateful he wasn't bitching about it like I was, well…..trying not to since I was trying my very best not to run around the room flashing my hand around like crazy.

He pressed the tweezers on it and pulled the glass out quickly saving me from the agony of the slow tantalizing moment of him pulling it out the flesh. And like that the curse words flew out fast and easy.

"Ah- bloody fuck damn splinter you frickin bitch!" I felt tears burned the corners of my eyes I hadn't been injured like this for a while and the ghoul attack had more mental than physical damage so the pain was fast and quick and quickly passed. I moved off the counter. I couldn't sit in this pain as I stood leaning against it looking at my index finger. I think I just used my yearly share of curse words.

I watched the blood trickling down like a slow moving river almost like it hit a vein or something now wonder it was so painful. I felt the tear streak down my cheeks as I felt the pain.

"Does it hurt?"

"Y-Yes…"

"How bad?"

"Real bad…" I mumbled sniffling as my finger gave me one hell of a pain. I felt him pull my hand to his face as I looked up and watch him put my finger in him mouth before sucking.

"Nng." I blushed deeply feeling the warmth of inside his mouth cave around my finger and a pulling feeling drawing the blood from the open wound. His eyes looking directly into mines as my other hand moved to my wrist which he held firmly with his hand.

I was locked under his gaze and the pain in my hand wasn't as painful but it was slowly fading.

I felt his tongue suddenly move around my finger and I felt a tug in my stomach causing me flush red completely his tongue felt round and hard but very warm, it made my enter body stir with heat and my knees felt like they were going to give out beneath me. He continued moving it around and around and so did my libido continuously jumping and spinning. I swallowed as he lightly grazed my finger with his teeth.

 _Uta what are you doing!?_

His grip loosened and he pulled my finger out and the air hit my damp finger as I pulled it out his gasp and to my chest very slowly. I looked at it the bleeding had completely stopped.

"Does it still hurt?"

I shook my head.

I couldn't look at him. No way in hell I could, even after he did something so elicit! But I couldn't let myself get so soft on him. I mean how many times has he done this? He was just teasing, teasing me like he always does!

His finger moved under my chin tilting my head upwards to face him and I looked at him as he stepped closer and I felt the space between us disappear as his body was against mine and he pulled me towards him with his hand around my waist.

His body was so warm and hard against mine the sensation was so breath-taking as I felt the heat run to my cheeks as I felt the torso I felt up the other night pressing against me. It was mouth-watering.

His mouth opened ready to speak, "Ka-"

"I was drunk, I said….I said foolish stuff." I said looking away towards the door. Even though I really wanted to look back to his face, I could feel his eyes looking at me.

"But…" I turned and looked at him. "You weren't lying."

I blinked at him a couple times.

"No…" I felt him lean towards me, I was much shorter than him but it didn't stop him as I felt his hands on my face tilting me towards him as his lips pressed against mines. Without remorse or shame of this being the first actual kiss our tongues met each other like thunder and lightning separated from coordination. It's like I liquefied and melted in the palms of his hands as I felt his tongue against mines engaging so lustfully that I could spare neither thought nor pondering since it all felt too good to be real and too enticing to make my mind idle. His hands moved down my sides gripping my thighs as he lifted me repositioning me to the counter top and leaning against the furniture and towards me as our lips dare not separate throughout the entire movement. My legs wrapped around his waist, as my arms linked around his neck and his hands sliding up and down my outer thighs gripping and squeezing as the kiss grew more intense.

He pulled away and looks at me as I feel him directly against my body looking down at me. I realize I completely made out with him and also his lip piercing was not even in the way. I thought those stuff would get in the way.

"Kaisa chan"

"Call me Kaisa"

"Kaisa"

"Y-Yes?"

"Nothing….I just wanted to hear your voice"

My face flushed immediately.

"I thought you would have moaned while I kissed you, maybe I should put in more effort." He said unlatching the straps on my jumper suit as he pulled down the upper half and slowly pulled up my blouse exposing my torso.

"U-Uta that's-" I couldn't even finish the sentence that I was going to say- 'That's too far' Really? How could I say that cause in my imagination we have went wayyyy much further, but now it's not like he even budged.

"It's a very alluring, you're recent piercing." He mumbled as I rest my elbows unsteadily on the face basin feeling his lips press next to my navel before he starts moving his tongue around my piercing. My stomach tightens and I feel him tug against the piercing it hasn't completely healed yet so it was tender. Not even from pain but Uta was making me feel strange in places I shouldn't even be feeling strange in!

This feeling, it's growing. It's continuously growing.

His hand move along my sides as his thumbs press inwards against my ribs and for pain it quickly turned into pleasure as it wasn't an inflict by force but more like a strong grip. I muffled the soft noises escaping my lips as I breathed heavily trying to take control of the sounds wanting to slip out my mouth. Not like this, not in this position, not where my sensitivity is so exposed.

"Uta, please-"I begged looking down at him my eyes heavy and mesmerized. I felt like I had a summer fever, I felt light and I felt completely aroused.

He pauses and looks at me. Kissing my stomach staring at me the entire time as he does it slowly trailing upwards before moving to my lips kissing them pushing his tongue inside not really caring for my airy pleads for him to stop.

How obvious was I?

Were my desires more outspoken than my words?

His hands pulled me closer I felt him against my body and I felt his…..

"Miss Terresi."

Uta pulled back as the knock on the door interrupted. I pulled back as well.

"Its Jero san, we finished the cupboards and changed the balcony door so come have a look once you've finished the first aiding, also remember there is something in the oven."

"Crap the cake." I said walking to the door before I felt Uta hold my hand making me halt in my step.

"Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen, I will be back, I promise….I will be back for this, and that" I said (this) referring to the session and (that) referring to the counter table. That make out was by far hotter than what I've ever felt from the ones I see on the TV and read in my novels.

He pouted.

Uta….just pouted.

I blinked. I leaned in and hugged him there was no way I could walk out when he pouted so cutely. I felt his hand rub my back as it slipped up my shirt.

"Uta…"

"I'm fixing you…so you don't look….ravished."

 _Ravished? What are you talking about?_

I turned to the full mirror at the bathroom looking at myself. My shirt pulled up a little above halfway the right side so far you could see my bra not to mention the opposite strap dangling out the collar while my hair looked like a mess more than it already naturally does, my tummy with small red marks, a blush on my face so deep I could spot it in my ear and my jumper pull down I could see the thin embroidery of my underwear.

Fuck. I do look ravished wait no, fuck- Uta moves fucking fast.

All I felt was my shirt pulled up but instead I looked like I did a quickie in the fucking tub. I quickly fixed my clothes pulling away from him. Okay I'm officially scared; if Uta has his way completely in this we would end up having sex by the next three days. I don't wanna seem easy and throw it at him like that no way in hell- no way. I felt him brush away my bangs that fell into my face. His lips moved to my neck nudging the skin as I felt myself blush even more.

He took my finger wrapping a bandage around it and I smiled.

"I will come back."

"You have to."

"I will."

"Kaisa has no choice." He said moving to the counter sitting on it pressing his hands between his legs looking at me. I smiled leaving the bathroom and stepping into the kitchen. Itori was here!

"Itori!"

"Kaichii!" she said hugging me the flipping new island was already there and ready to be set up. "I got everything and the carpenter and mason are already at it I heard you got hurt- show me!"

I pointed out my finger, "It's okay Uta made it better." I said without even realizing, I tried my best not to give too much reaction.

"Uta is here?"

"Ye-yeah he came a little while earlier."

"I never told him he could come, hmph, I guess he came on his own accord."

"I guess…so."

"Are you okay you looked a bit flustered, what's that on your neck, did you take your medicine?"

"I did, I took it this morning before any of this and I , it's just"

She looked at me before tilting her head to the side. Oh shit, she's putting one and one together I know this look.

"Oh…..so Uta made it better eh~?" shit she knows, "And what else did he make better, your sexual pent up frustration?"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I hushed her so loud everyone heard even the men on the balcony speaking of them I spotted some nice sexy railing.

I sighed, "Crap the cakes." I went towards the oven and almost on cue my timer went off luckily they weren't burnt thank God-thank God! I took them out, resting them to cool. The doorbell rang that must be our final delivery since I really want that one to come so we could stop expecting people. Indeed it was. The three tables, the curtains and carpets. Finally.

I went and took out some glasses along with some plates and began slicing up the cake and fixing up the table nicely.

"Awwwww, you made food for them." Itori said coming to greet me in the kitchen she changed to short and a loose T. "Be assured its coming out their pay." she added in such a dead tone serious voice even I was second guessing replying to that. She doesn't joke when it comes to money. Doesn't.

"B-But, I mean they are working so hard and consistently since morning. It's in the afternoon now, it's like…"

She looked at me. No…glared.

I swallowed.

I will not lose I am doing this out of the very small insignificant kindness in my heart and it's not very often this little kindness shines a halo so…..I will not back down.

 _Pull your shit together. Where is your pride! You're a woman! Give those ovaries some recognition don't let your voice go unheard!_

"It's complimentary. P…pl-….I love you,"

"Weally I luv you tooooo!" she said hugging me rubbing her cheeks against mines.

 _I resorted to peasantry methods…..parents in heaven….you should be disappointed._

"Yeah can you call everyone tell them I made something for them to eat then they can get back to work."

"Of course my _warm-hearted_ Kaichi."

I moved around aimlessly serving cakes as they came in one after the other.

"Ahhh, Pineapple Cake," Janjero said smiling. "It's my daughter's birthday today I wish I could buy her one of these…"

"Huh, well why don't you, it's not like the work is going to take all day. And we pay cash on the spot so you can go and buy one."

"Oh if I could I would. Today's pay is for the bills at home. Genna-chan is gonna have to wait again but it's okay. She looked at me and told me to work hard today, it's sad when a child cares about the happiness of her parents more than herself."

I frowned. I felt Itori looking at me but I never wanted to look away from this man face. He came to work today and he seemed so happy. Who knew he was a struggling man trying to pay his bills for his family, and moreover, today was his daughter's birthday. When he should be with her celebrating it or waiting for her to return from school, he is busy working, at my house, fixing my island and repairing my furniture.

"Does she like…pineapple cakes?"

"She does, oh, would it be unkind of me to ask for another slice, I could bring it home for her, I can buy a candle and put it on it, Genna-chan would be sooo happy, one candle should at least be enough for her 7th birthday."

 _Seventh…_

Terel immediately flashed crossed my mind and I smiled.

"A slice…..how about I bake you an entire cake."

Itori smiled, she saw that coming.

"A-An entire cake?"

"Yup, it won't come out your pay, does she like chocolate cookies."

"Sh-She adores them, but Miss Terresi I couldn't both-"

"Please….she only turns seven once."

He smiled.

I went into the kitchen and I could hear the laughter from in the room the men talking and becoming friendly amongst themselves. I got out my baking stuff it's good I practice to clean and wash as I work since I would have ended up with a lot of stuff to clean before I can bake again. In 15 minutes I had a nice batter being mixed by the mixer and some chocolate chip cookie already sitting in a bowl ready to be poured on the greased tray. I smiled whipping it all up.

"Too kind." Itori said smiling as she came beside me and took the pouring spoon dipping it in the mix before making small circles on the tray.

"I couldn't…. I mean….when he said it I thought of Terel and I thought of…me. What happened when I was 7, on my very own birthday."

She looked at me. "My best friend should get a kind heart award."

"What." I said giggling to myself pouring the batter and opening the oven.

"But," Itori said giving a loud sigh, "She would be too scared to even go and collect it."

I didn't even reply she had a point.

"Well, you have time to make other people what about Uta?"

"Huh?"

"Where is he?"

I froze. I left a Uta in the bathroom. Not just a Uta but a sexy aroused and interrupted Uta….in my bathroom.

"I'll be back."

"Of course you won't."

"I said I will."

"Nope, when U chan wants something, he gets what he wants, its better you don't go at all and just let the steam blow off."

"What? Uta isn't like that, he's calm and gentle and-"

She gave me a 'who-the-hell-are-you-referring-to?' look.

 _Yeah, who the hell am I referring to?_

I went into my room closing the door going to the bathroom reopening the door to see him still seated on the counter.

"Ummm….." I walked over to him I felt nervous as hell.

 _When U Chan wants something, he gets what he wants_

"Did I make you wait too long…"

He looked on me his eyes following my every move.

I looked at him. Okay maybe I should make a move. He was wearing a hoodie so I pulled it down his arms until it was completely off. I looked at his tattoos. This was the first time I was able to touch and be so in direct with him. My fingers ran over them.

I ran my hand through his hair pulling him close to my face.

"Did I make you wait too long?" I repeated. Putting up a front which was so hard cause now I was trembling. When did I become so bold! Is he upset with me or not!?

"You took a while," he mumbled and exhaled heavily breaking his silent treatment as he buried his face in my neck. He inhaled deeply and I felt his lips nudging my skin.

 _Knock knock_

"Miss Terresi. The plumbing is done and the carpenter says he needs to come in the room to put up the cabinet doors."

No, another interruption!

"Uta i-"

"I have to go now." He said putting on his glasses.

"Uta I, ah I know that what happened two days ago was a misunderstanding but even if I heard it from Itori…I-I wanna know how you feel about me I'm sorry if I….."

He looked at me and kissed me on the cheek pausing at my lips before pulling away.

"I like you." he mumbled as he pulled away looking at me. I bit my bottom lip.

"I like you too….a lot actually."

He looked at me and smirked.

I made a 360 turn and stared at the wall. His smirk was very, very unbelievingly sexy and hot.

"Are you sure you have to go?" I asked looking at the wall.

"I have to."

"We had so many interruptions; do you have to-have to-haaave to?" I asked fidgeting in my stance as I looked at the wall all nervous and anxious, I couldn't look at him I could feel the heat coming off my face itself.

He hugged me from behind and I felt his breath against my ears.

"I have to."

"Why don't you stay?"

"Because, I wouldn't be able to hold back." He said as I felt his tongue lick the shell of my ears and him whispering _why so red?_

I melted even more. "Hold back?"

"On wanting to…have you." He said as I blushed madly. "Just teasing…"

I froze. "What"

"I just wanted to see you get even redder," he said walking to door.

 _Uta you damn pervert! Ughhhh- dammmit, no need to get upset even though he just- no…the point is…_

"I really like you" I said turning around looking at him and he looked at me. "So, come back day after tomorrow"

"Okay."

The night came slowly. I kept thinking about Uta and what he said; my feelings gladly weren't one sided and he, I really wanted him to be around me now more often. I stared at my phone screen pondering if I should call or text him…he said he had to go so maybe he had work or something but did he reach there safely was he okay? So much three simple words can do to make you start thinking much more of a person.

The apartment progressed better. Itori and I laid out all our carpet the Island got put up and the cupboards she chose were glorious. The living room was cozy like I wanted we ended up having to leave out to go by some small stuff we never thought of like the glass vases for the small table in the living room and the next two small table each went to our rooms which were done too. Closet put up and everything drawers filled and all.

Itori took lots of pictures of us cleaning and packing and everything storing them all on her camera even photos of the Decham brothers and the guys who did the balcony and YES, the balcony was divine. It was absolutely amazing with the entire flora and fauna and the small outdoor benching. They took a small 2 foot additional into the living room which we never realized actually belonged to the balcony till when we lifted the ugly old carpet and saw the difference of hardwood from concrete. Everything was eventually done Janjero got his cake and cookies and we sent a small little card saying happy birthday which we had bought when we got to get the small stuff. By the time everyone had left, Itori and I were completely depleted. And by depleted-

I literally mean falling asleep at the door after we said goodbye to the last worker. We were tired as hell.

* * *

 **What do you think of the progress between Kaisa and Uta I think I should slow it down a little but I have been starving myself when it comes to them restricting this and holding back on that they are made to be togetttttthhhhhher. Ugggggggh the struggles of being a pervert. So harrrd**

 **I hope you liked this chapter don't forget to follow, favorite and most importantly- Review!**


	10. Furry Friendship

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **As promised- He is finally here :3 Please enjoy this ameowzing chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

 **Furry Friendship**

"Itori get up you have work today," I said nudging the woman who was curled in bed.

"No, I can't, I…"

"I what?"

"I think I'm pregnant,"

I took the pillow and pushed it over her face watching her frantically kick her legs and flay her arms till she managed to get up her face red and heated and her eyes widened in disbelief.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!"

"….yes…"

"If I was pregnant you would have killed the baby as well!"

"You don't understand….by killing you and the baby…I'm saving humanity." I said in a monotone voice getting up.

All for the greater good of the human race. Amen.

"What the hell?!"

I scratched the back of my head….She wouldn't understand….one of her is already tormenting, so imagine a next one, also…..that man did not have sex with her, this is Itori we are referring to…he was raped.

"I was joking; I just had a tummy ache,"

"Had?"

"No have- as in its still here and _probably_ much **worse.** "

"Is it your cycle?"

"Huh…..oh yeah….that stuff, I forgot about those stuff."

I blinked…you are a girl….in your twenties, went through puberty fully developed…..and forgot you had period.

"When was the last time you saw it?"

"Hmm…maybe when we graduated high school."

"We are going to the fucking doctor."

"Nuuuuuuu- Kaichi nuuuuuuuuuuuu, you know I don't like doctors!"

"But this sounds serious!"

"I lost count; it came a couple days after…"

"Days. We graduated 3 years ago."

"Months…" she corrected.

I looked at her.

She looked back at me.

I stared at her.

She looked back at me.

I glared at her.

She shivered.

 _I win_

"Fwine fwine I will start marking the days."

"Thank you, aummm…..do you need me to buy you some ahh…..stuff?"

"Stuff?"

"Napkins."

"We have some in the kitchen-"

"PADS- FLIPPING PADS THE ONES YOU PUT ON THE PANTY THAT THE BLOOD COMES OUT ON!"

She trembled, "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking in context….you don't have to shout."

"Tsk."

"Have you…..taken your pills since morning?"

"No….."

"That's why you're so feisty," she said rubbing my back and I leaned in to her comfort. "It's okay, look for your shell, let's crawl back into it. Just take your daily medication and you anti-depressants and you will be finnnnnnne."

Seeee. Too much contact with humanity yestuday during the moving. This was bound to happen- I'm people-phobic.

"Your right." I said sighing deeply. With everything that happened yesterday I was exhausted. Too much workkk, too many people.

"Oh and I don't use pads I use tampons."

I flinched.

"Ewww"

It's a beautiful day out today there is an amazing view from the balcony, the birds below were chirping and the breeze was blowing through the air and the place looked so rich but now that I was on the streets it wasn't so beautiful, the sun was baking me, the breeze was fucking hot air and the birds above me were screaming bloody murder while losing flight. It was after one and yes we woke up in the afternoon because we needed the rest after yesterday. I made my way to the grocery store looking at my small list. Just needed to do some little shopping. I got my trolley and began pushing it around.

After a few minutes I was at the last isle.

I hate this grocery store.

The eggs are small, the milks are close to expiration date, the vegetables look like they have been on display for nearly a week and they only have the worst brand also spring water as bottled water. What the hell is wrong with this grocery store? I miss my apartment with my grocery store; it was more…..advanced. Developed.

I walked to the pharmacy area spotting some pads. Ahhh, at least I can buy tampons for her, by the way….which tampons does she use?

I felt my pocket. My phone is dying which means by the minute I call it is gonna just shut down. I looked at them, judging their pictures and comments and textures and gosh I felt like a girl on her first period. I never used tampons it was always pads for me tampons were too…..intimate. Which one, which one….Aummm…

"Excuse me."

I turned around to spot a tall, well-built man with silver hair. He had an immovable stone-like glare and wore a long overcoat with a small cart in his hand. "My niece, she is in pain and unfortunately it's…..early for her. This is my first time I'm taking care of her in this sort of situation but, I don't know…I'm sorry this is very embarrassing and I don't see a store clerk around to assist me."

Grocery store doesn't even have a clerk.

Really hate this store right now.

"That's okay aumm…..how old is she?"

"15."

"15….long or short hair?"

"Medium."

"Hmmm…petite, stout, tall, fat, average, overweight?"

"Average."

"Okay this one should work," I said picking up a pack of Always with a half dozen liners and pointed to the pharmacist. "You can ask her three days' worth of menstrual pain killers and ummm…." I blinked a couple times looking at his cart that was literally empty, was this all he wanted and brought something so huge? He really must be new to this. "I would advise you have tissues at home during this period. So an extra tissue for the household would be nice."

"Oh, thank you very much."

"You are welcome." I said smiling watching as he turned away before walking to the pharmacist.

I turned around. My smile dropped. I just had a casual conversation with a person- holy shit I've been interacting with humanity too much its getting so contagious…I even smiled…

I can help someone with their problems but I can't fix mine. I picked up some nice looking ones and move to the cashier paying for it. I looked back at the silver hair guy who seems to still be at the pharmacist. I pay and leave the grocery store another sigh leaving me.

As the door closes behind me the rain pierces down on the ground like bullets.

It was so hot a while ago and now it's raining suddenly?!

"It never even looked like it was going to rain!"

 _ **Meow….mewww….meow…mewwmewww**_

I paused and looked around. Swore I heard-

 _ **Meww….meowww…**_

I turned to look at the ground only to spot a cardboard box. It had three small kittens inside. One was black, one was white and one was ginger.

"You little guys are gonna get wet!" I said looking at them their eyes haven't even opened yet. As I leaned over to shelter them with my body I suddenly felt the rain no longer pitter-pattering on me. I looked behind me to see the silver haired guy with an umbrella above me.

"Oh…aumm…thank you." I said blushing lightly before turning back to them.

He stooped next to me with the umbrella as he looked at them staring at the small creatures.

"They're going to die if I just leave them here," I said softly looking at them. "I really, like cats, they're so small too."

"Second week after birth and abandoned time could be 3 days judging by the condition of the box and the marking on the concrete, it hasn't been moved seeing the grass that has died under it." the guy said rather calmly.

I looked at him, my phone suddenly beeped and I pulled it from my pocket. That didn't sound like the 'battery dying' beep it sounded more like a message. I tapped the screen.

 _It's not my period, just some indigestion.  
1:42:21  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I blinked. I replied back; better take my chances with the battery than make no effort at all

 _I found some kittens-the rain will soak them, can I bring them home!  
1:43:01  
MESSAGE SENT_

 _Pets not allowed at the apartment.  
1:44:23  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I frowned I began tapping the screen then my phone put up the logo before shutting off. Dammit.

"My apartment can't keep pets."

"I'll take them home."

"No I couldn't-"

The rain suddenly came down ridiculously heavier.

It was freaking hell-imported heat a while ago why is it suddenly raining like no tomorrow!

The guy picked up the box holding it to his chest. A taxi passing by stopped luckily.

"You couple need a taxi?"

"W-We're not a-"

"Take us to 39 boulevard please."

Us? I swallowed. He opened the door and I went inside the cab as he came in as well. The kittens kept mewing.

The ride was super silent. 39 boulevard?

When the taxi came to a stop I was told to stay in the cab as he came out. He seemed pretty nice so I shouldn't freak out, but still this happened so fast. Was he really going to take the kittens what would I do I mean, **I also want them**.

"You guys newlyweds?"

I looked at the driver, "N-No, we actually just met."

"He looks like a nice guy, you guys look nice together!" He said grinning while tapping the steering wheel.

"Aumm…thanks but like I said we just-"

The door opened and he came in the cab sitting down.

"To the Warf entrance please."

"No problem Mister."

I looked at him taking a quick glance. His hair was silver yet it was so soft looking and lightly soaked in water. And he was in that huge overcoat what the hell wasn't he hot. He turned looking at me and I was caught on the spot.

"Renji."

"My name is Kaisa." I added trying to ease up the convo. "What are we gonna do with the kitties?"

 **Meow…mewwwwww, mewwwww**

One of them moved away from the others searching for what I presumed must be its mom. It's so sad. If Renji was right, they really haven't eaten for days. They must be hungry and dirty and so alone.

When the taxi came to a stop we got out and stood in the rain that pelted down heavily as we walked around to the back of the wharf moving to some old yard. There were containers everywhere but why were we even here? I remained silent as we walked through the rain following renji who had the box in his hands. He came to a set of containers, around three at the base three at the top. He opened the door and we stepped in and I was…awed

The outside looked broken down and crappy but the inside was well kept. No, the inside was furnished, nice looking and classy: table and couch, TV and all it was really cozy-looking. Renji had taste. Classical taste. This included all these paintings.

Familiar paintings…..My paintings.

I should keep quiet about that for now.

Wait….my paintings…..okay time to freak out now, wait- I was a growing artist it could just be coincidence.

-continues to keep quiet-

He took off his overcoat resting it on the hanger he turned to me and I blinked.

He was in some jeans and T shirt and I knew-I just knew he was ripped because those biceps I now saw made me shiver more than I already was doing due to the cold rain outside. Not only that but he was dry, unlike the dripping, soak and wet me- as in by the rain readers by the rain! /

"Here, leave your shoes here I will lead you to the shower."

"Okay." I nodded as he took the box resting it on the table. It was a little damp but in that type of rain I was surprised it only got a few raindrops while I on the other hand felt like I swam through a river. My purse was safe though- it was plastic. Good thing I put my phone in there and not in my back pocket.

"Here, I will leave some clothes in the basket at the door just leave the wet ones in this empty basket in there and put it at the door, I'll spin dry them."

And like that. He went silent. He stared at me and I nodded.

Okay….this is the part where I go into the bathroom.

I enter the bathroom check for bugs- no secret cameras or anything which means that it should be safe I mean it's a container after all and after we went through the wharf this place was beyond the fence of a sign that marked 'private property'. I never guessed someone would live in a steel container but once you enter you wouldn't even suspect it. Seems like the containers were joined together the ventilation was a wild guess but it was so cozy in the living room- were the other rooms like that as well? Well the bathroom was spacious and renji seemed like a secretive person but he also seemed composed.

But I shouldn't just judge a person by their looks; I should judge them by their way of speaking. That's what Itori taught me. How long are their sentences because the amount of information a person says tells the person they are. Renji seems direct and responsive but still conserved. So I can eliminate a liar/con artist, a thief and some more stuff but he still remains a suspect to a person hiding something and a person who has no motives other than straightforward objectives, and from what I see here, he cares about the kittens. A man who loves animals come on, he can't kill a fly. So murderer is out too.

I step out the shower and started drying off with one of the towels on the roles of towels and I freeze as I don't spot my underwear. Don't tell me I slipped my underwear with all my other wet clothes when I placed it in the basket and put it out the door?!

I creak open the door to spot the basket but with dry clothes.

He took them already.

Just kill me.

I put them on. Loose long trousers and a big T. I dried my hair with the towel resting it on my shoulders as I leave the bathroom looking around.

He wasn't here. I walked through the hallway and into the living room spotting the kittens. I take up the black one resting him against my chest and he is just about the most adorablest thing I ever seen. Almost as adorable as Uta's pout.

The door swung open and I grabbed the standing lamp moving to the door in defense mode. Oh…..it was Renji.

I'm really not use to the door being left open, much less someone walking in on me….without knocking. But then…his door doesn't have an inside lock…and…..it's not my house.

He looks at me as he has a grocery bag in his hand and blinks looking at me up and down.

"A kitten in your hand and a lamp."

"I was moving fast and the kitten, don't mind it."

 **Mewww**

I blushed, "d-don't mind it."

He walked past me smiling, what was I supposed to do? Lie and say I was checking out his lamp. Well…..I could have done that actually.

I went to the couch sitting silently with the kittens as I stroked then gently. He returned with three baby bottles shaking them.

"You bought bottles for them?"

"I went to a pet clinic. Not far from here." he responded taking the ginger one who was crawling away on the carpet. He picked it up nudging the bottle at his mouth as it began sucking. My eyes widened as I went closer with the two in my hands.

"That's so….wow."

He looked at me and gave me one of the two bottles. I rested down the black one who was asleep and began feeding the white one. It was hungry as hell.

"You were hungry, weren't you?" I said watching it suck the nipple of the bottle, soft slurp noises escaping its mouth. "I'm gonna call you gluttony"

 **Mewwwww**

I looked at the kitten Renji had that seemed to be full but she was more interested in him as she raised her head trying to climb up on him.

"No you have to- drink" he said pulling away the bottle before lifting it up.

"We will name her lust."

"Lust, why?"

"Its suits her."

 **Mewwww**

My eyes widened, "Ahhhh….I think she likes it."

"I think so to-"

"Wait if it's a she, that means its two girls so the black is-"

He picked it up, "A girl too."

I smiled. He rose up and disappeared in the other room I took up Lust and kissed her on her forehead, Then Gluttony and then….what would we call the black one? Sloth?

Renji returned soon after with a pale of water and rag. He stopped at the bag pouring some stuff in it before coming back to the empty area we were sitting at on the carpet and rested the pale and rag down before sitting.

"We shouldn't wash but wipe."

"Okay aumm." I took the rag dipping it in the water it was warm, not lukewarm but warm. Felt a little oily too. He picked up the black one that fit perfectly in the palm of his hand. It released a small mew and then opened up its arms and legs almost welcoming me to rub its underside. "Oh my god she is welcoming me to clean her."

Renji smiled softly.

"What do you think we should call her?" I questioned as I wiped her tummy and she began purring her leg twitching like crazy.

 _She loves this._

I rubbed her tummy even more.

"Of the deadly sins she's close to sloth, but…" he murmured.

"Why are we naming them after the deadly sins?" I said suddenly realizing the trend that was going on. Well that I started.

He paused, "I….don't know."

"Alright, then the black one is Languor."

"A fancy name for sloth." He said.

I nodded. "Ummm it's been on my mind for a while now, but you invited me to your house. Are you really kind, or do you have some hidden motive."

"I have no motives, it's for the kittens too, until we find an owne-"

"What- no we have to keep them, we found them because someone threw them out, we can't be doing the same as them!"

"So I should take care of them?"

"I will help…..I can buy cat food," I said as he rested Languor on the ground and picked up Gluttony, she was fussier to the cleaning.

"I have no problem with that."

"I'm sure you don't. You live in this amazing place with my paintings on your walls and a safe home"

"My paintings"

 _Oops- okay maybe I should just come clean._

"Kai-si" I said as I reached for my purse on the nearby table. I pulled out my business card with my name and ID. "Kai-si, the Kai from _**Kai**_ sa and the Si from the end of my last name, Teres _ **si**_."

He rose up so fast I was surprised at first as he disappeared into the other room. I realized my painting in his bathroom and the entrance of his house. What can I say, I felt proud. I rested the three on the cushion as they all slept soundly; I want them to be like this, always together.

Renji came back with some huge wall frames in his hand.

"Feverina. The woman in the background. People say she is crying because her son died. But if you look closely she has cuts on her hands and," He looked up at me a light blush on his cheeks, "She has a composure not like an embrace but a 'what-have-I-done'. The background is also a puzzle set on the floor a courtroom. It's not death, but hasn't she murdered her son. Like regret."

I looked at him, "Y-Yes. I am glad you realized that. Are you fan of Feverina?"

"No, it's amazing but it's not my favorite. Cannibal."

He said resting the frame on the floor showing me Cannibal. It was one of my favorites. "I love that one but I feel I could have done bette-"

"It's your best piece." He murmured closing off my sentence moving to the next frame. "I like this one too. Kaisa are your parents dead?"

I blinked, "Y-Yes."

"I felt it in this piece; you lost someone special a long time ago. Because I know you're a young artist from your style, so you can't be an old artist who has an old lover, and at a young age the loss was so deep, you aren't an artist that transitions romantic love either, I thought maybe a sibling or your parents."

"So why say parents first?"

"It was either, parents just ended up coming first." He said as he took up the frames. "I have 18 of your pieces."

 _E-Eighteen…that's half of what I have on the market!_

"That's….that's truly the acts of someone who respects my work."

He smiled and began looking at the third piece. I never met a fan that treasured my work like this it really made me happy- no, I never even met one of my fans other than Itori.

He was back to silence once more he really never spoke much did he.

"Oh the rain stopped." I mumbled breaking the silence.

 _ **1 HOUR LATER**_

I changed back to my clothes and said goodbye and when I was ready to leave a cab was already there. He paid the fare for the cab to drop me right at my apartment building which was kind. He was a strange guy, but we both liked art. So I like him. To make it better I even got his number- well he asked for mine so we exchanged. As soon as I reached home I spot a note from Itori on the island, my amazing island.

 _Gone to work. Be back by four in the morning. Don't wait up. University called today remember your work is due day after tomorrow._

I sighed. I spent the rest of the day watching television. I had dinner on the balcony bringing my phone that I had charging in the kitchen. I switched it on and that's when I realized I had 2 unread messages. One from Renji which was the first I opened because it was the most recent.

 _Did you reach home safely?  
7:23:13  
MESSAGE DELAYED  
9:25:56- MESSAGE SEEN_

My cheeks flushed. Okay I need to relax he isn't the one responsible for making my cheeks blush. I replied keeping it formal.

 _Yes. I did. How are the kittens?  
9:27:34  
MESSAGE SENT_

A message came in almost instantly.

 _They are still sleeping  
9:27:54  
MESSAGE RECEIVED  
Attached Photo  
[open] [close]_

I tapped 'open'. It was a picture of Gluttony, Lust and Languor sleeping in a cushion. Languor was on top on Gluttony sprawled out completely and Lust was curled in a cute ball beside them both. I blushed even more.

 _They are the most adorable things.  
9:28:21  
MESSAGE SENT_

I checked my other message- IT WAS FROM UTA!

My fingers never so furiously worked my phone screen as I tapped the convo opening it.

 _How is the Champagne?_

I rose up off the chair going to the kitchen as I got the champagne and poured a glass. I was so nervous I hadn't even tried it. Moreover I wanted to try it so I could reply to him as quickly as I could.

 _It tasted nice. It was acidic and had a lemony taste but I liked the faint hit of the strawberry flavor it had.  
9:32:12  
MESSAGE SENT._

I held the phone to my chest smiling as I returned to the balcony sat and slipped down in the chair looking into the night sky. I wanted him to reply yet part of me was scared to what he would say. A conversation would be nice but I also want to touch all that happened yesterday, but…..I also wanted to avoid it since I was insecure about the entire thing.

My phone vibrated and I pulled it up looking at the screen it was a message from Renji.

 _Do you think it's safe to have them sleep with me tonight in the bed?  
9:35:54  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I smiled. Suddenly the image of Gluttony glooming over his face came across my head. That would look awfully cute.

 _Depends on the type of sleeper you are but I'm sure after nights alone they would want the company. Don't squish them!  
9:37:27  
MESSAGE SENT_

 _I won't.  
9:37:43  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I smiled even more. These little kittens were like my little family. I shall take care of them.

My phone beeped. This time it was Uta.

 _That's fascinating. Would you want another?  
9:37:47  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I blinked.

 _Okay. Have thought about yesterday. When you came over?  
9:38:01  
MESSAGE SENT_

I have.  
9:38:09  
MESSAGE SENT

I swallowed. _Soooooo? What have you thought about Uta!_

 **Extra (A/n: Because I want chapter 11 to start without flashbacks)**

I tapped the screen waiting on his reply, come on Uta….he was a slow texter, why? Why not have immediate and straight forward responses like Renji.

No. I shouldn't compare and I shouldn't be greedy. I should be humble and wait.

 _Yesterday was fun. Your apartment is beautiful from what I see. Itori just showed me the pictures.  
9:51:03  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I pouted.

 _Oh you're at Itori's bar right now? Okay.  
9:51:47  
MESSAGE SENT_

 _Would you rather me be with you right now?  
9:51:58  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I blushed. I won't hide it.

 _Yes  
9:58:43  
MESSAGE SENT._

My phone beeped and I got an attached mail. It was a photo of Itori and Uta. He was drinking wine but apparently Itori snapped the photo as a selfie grinning like crazy. I smiled; gosh I can imagine him doing exactly that right now. I edited the photo cropping everything out except him. Sorry Itori…new wallpaper needed.

The rest of the night was aimless talking. We spoke about art and how crazy Itori was, we also ended up discussing the piercings and I curiously found out about all his tattoos. Uta was a boaster when it came to this and had pride in his own art. He also invited me to his shop, I should think of it as his little exhibition? He was the last person I spoke to at the end of the night, and in the morning, he was the first person as well.

 _Good Morning, I'll be there at 11. Bring a change of clothes; also I hope you had a nice sleep._

* * *

 **So extremely sorry for the inconvenience I couldn't find my charger after moving and I just found it today. Thank you for waiting and the support. Hope you enjoyed please review!**


	11. Dormant Love Awakening?

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Warning: Explicit Sexual Content involved. I warned...*hums happily and sips moco***

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

 **Dormant Love Awakening?**

I blinked a couple times staring at the clothes I had laid out on my bed. What should I wear?

Itori left already. I heard when she came in last night but when I woke up she wasn't even here, plus it was minutes after 10 and Uta would be here at 11 so what should I wear? How should I even look? I already packed the -change of clothes but the first impression mattered right? Which brings me back to the first damn question- what should I wear?!

I wanted to ask Itori, tell her about the Uta and ask her what I should wear?

A dress maybe, she did say if she put me in a dress he would look at me, but I don't want to seem greedy since day before yesterday's event seemed….fulfilling. But I shouldn't hide it, even though yesterday I was at Renji and dealing with the kittens, it's not like I can hide it; he was on my mind half the time.

I went with something casual: a pair of black skinny jeans, my converse, a grey tank top and my black cardigan. A nice messy ponytail the mildly shaven off side managing to somewhat get in the bun and my shoulder bag with the change of clothes inside. I'm left waiting for a while, until I decided to call Itori. Just to give her my greetings- I won't say nothing much.

"So that's what happened in the bathroom!"

 _Okay so maybe I said much._

"shhhhhhhh! Don't shout. I was scared to tell you."

"Kaichii has a boyfriend, and it's Uta~"

"What? Wait-no, well, we haven't become official yet..." I mumbled as I walked to the kitchen pouring myself some of Uta's gift; The Mayfield Strawberry-floured Champagne.

Itori speaks to one of her customers before she comes back to the call with a loud sigh, "Kaichi, I never expected your feelings to actually reach him- I don't know what to say are you sure you're not lying?"

I pouted, "Ouch….that hurts," I murmured feeling offended.

"U-chan is special; I'm surprised he feels the same way. Even when I asked I was a bit taken back by U-Chan's response yet still-"

"You're…not happy for me?" I asked feeling my chest tighten a bit, what was the meaning of this; she seemed all comedic and teasing about it all this time. I kept her updated with my feelings; I opened up to her about everything. Why is it that now it seemed like since I actually reached somewhere, she didn't want to support me anymore.

"I'm happy for you, I really am, I just don't think Uta is the guy, I want you to be with someone who-"

"Isn't he your best friend, you know him, plus he is someone who you're not just casual with but someone you have known for years, you treat him with as much love as you treat me!"

"Kaichi, I just don't want you to be hurt!"

"He's not a bad guy!"

"You've only known him for around 3 weeks now; I've known him for years!"

"But- He's not a bad guy; you make it sound like he would kill me for fun or something"

She remained silent, "He would."

I grinned, "Sure, of course he would because he is suddenly a bad guy." I joked drinking the glass of champagne resting it in the sink. "It doesn't -change the fact that I like him."

"Fine Kaichi, _you win,_ you like him, be with him." she said hanging up.

I looked at the screen and hit redial.

"Did you just hang up on me?"

"….yes."

"Don't you do that; this conversation isn't over, why is he a bad guy? Is there something about him you're not telling me?" I asked waiting for an answer.

"Just… his relationships usually don't last long." She said.

I frowned. "Well am I able to enjoy it while it lasts?" I asked

"Yeah….just like, don't get too intimate, if he rapes you let me know."

I laughed at her joke, "Sure thing, I'm sure I would consent to it but if he rapes me I will let you know-ah, I think he is here."

"Oh okay. What are you wearing?"

"Jeans, a cardigan-"

"Sounds ugly, keep it up- remain like this and he won't even lay a finger on you."

My mouth dropped, "Are you serious?!"

"My innocent Kaichi can't be tainted. I would kill the offender regardless of sex age, rank or status- and blood."

"I knowwwwww, now I have to go to the door I can't keep him waiting" I said hanging up pushing my phone in my back pocket. I looked through the hole and it was him.

I opened the door.

"Hello."

"Hello." I replied moving away from the door to the little table with my shoulder bag then back to the door going outdoor with him closing the door behind me pushing the key in my pocket. I turned to him. **(A/N- so many doors :/)**

"Aum- you look nice,"

"So do you. All set?"

"Yup."

 _Damn it Kaisa- he was the one to tell you you look nice first and there you go….making your fondness of him ever so obvious._

We were walking on the streets of Tokyo to wherever and as we walked side by side we got a couple stares. We weren't in any weird clothes or anything; Uta was in a splattered ink trendy-looking pant with a yellow and black shirt and an unzipped sweeter. He wore a tam on his head with his usual sunglasses.

"So where are we going?"

"My workplace." he said turning to me the first time he did since we left the apartment. I wondered if he was nervous.

"Oh-wait let's stop here," I said turning into a convenience store. I held his hand pulling him and when I did I realized his palms were soft. He has soft hands, but they felt so strong and muscular.

"Oh hello anything you looking for?"

"Glasses." I said as she pointed to the glasses on display opposite of the counter. I put on sunglasses and turned to him. "See, now where twining, you don't have to feel awkward."

He looked at me for a while, "Try this one" He said removing the one I had on putting another on my face.

"How is it?" I asked

"Twining." He said smiling.

I had to hold back my urge to laugh as I cracked a smile and checked it out in the mirror myself.

I paid for it and we left the convenience store and began having some small talk on the way.

"My mom and my dad both died when I was 7, I am an only child, what about you?" I said looking up at him. We were holding hands it felt so much more comforting and we also got a couple more stares from other couples. Yes, he is mine; all mine….well…not officially as yet but still mine.

"Orphanage."

"Oh, I would never imagine…"

"Really, what did you imagine. Can you share?"

I nodded. "From a nice family since you're so respectful and gentleman-like and you were influenced and like when you got your first piercings they never tolerated it, so then you knew you would leave eventually and after your tattoos your dad told you to leave your mother was sorrowful about it but you left and crashed at your friends then you got intrigued in art and you began to endeavor on it till you got your own place you and the friend split but still remain close from time to time."

"Kaisa, you have a very strong imagination you know that?"

I blushed and looked away, where were we anyways?

"We're here."

"Hy-s-Sy ArtMask..." I said trying to pronounce it getting red. Sounds Uta-ish.

"Welcome to my store~" He said smiling as I blushed even more. The more I get to know this guy the more expressions I see underneath this expressionless mask he wears.

I step in as he opens the store door and leaves the sign on closed. He switches on the lights and I blink looking around the store as I fall into awe. I turned to him to spot him removing his sweater.

"You made all of these?" I questioned walking over to the masks on display.

"Yes." He says as he goes behind the counter and opens a book making some small marks in it. I looked at all the masks running my hand over them very timidly. I would cry if I touch and break or destroy. Looking at all his work suddenly reminded me of my art piece due tomorrow at class but still, I could submit one from my collections. But these, _these_ were art.

"This one is made out of fiber, it's so thick…and well crafted" I mumbled touching it. The zip ran from top to bottom and had threads sewn in a circle like little red eyes.

Another one caught my attention. It was a half mask and kind of had a masquerade style to it. I liked the styles of his work I could really feel the creativity and passion he put into them.

"How long does it take to make these things?" I murmured to myself running my finger over a ceramic hand that was sculpted and on display.

"Usually 2 to three days." He said his voice close, loud and clear. I turned to see him standing behind me. "So this is my Art Store."

"It's so diverse and amazing, it's absolutely….beautiful." I said my eyes moving over the décor it was nice and wild and also had an exotic circus-like feeling with the curtains and the wall designs not to mention the checkered flooring.

"And…these- are my Art."

"They are….professional- I literally have no words they are just….wow."

He smiled and moved closer to me pausing.

"And this….is me…" he added looking at me. I looked at him and watched as he removed his glasses since we were indoors. "No comments?" he asked with a frown.

I shook my head. I refuse to give in- I refffffuuuuuusssssseeeeeee.

He stared at me and I felt the bottom of my stomach getting fluttery. I looked away staring to the checkered floors then looked back up to him and holy shit he was still staring. I eeped on the inside and looked away- Uta was soooo intimidating, without his glasses I felt like he was seeing way beyond the surface of my body.

"I want do something with you, follow me."

No not sex so quick it's too early! Abstinence Abstinence!

I nod and follow him as we go to a room at the back of the store we go through a short small hall where I see a staircase to upstairs and two other doors and then finally into the work room which is quite spacious and clean.

"This is your work space?"

"Yes, did you bring that -change of clothes?"

"Oh-we're gonna do some art?"

"Why not?" He asked looking at me. "Is that bad?"

"No, of course not, I just…..It would be a real honor." I said looking at him. He remains silent just staring at me and I blink a couple times. I look behind me then back at him. "Aumm…well, oh- where can I go and -change."

"Here."

"Huh." I questioned, did he just say 'here'.

"It's nothing I really haven't seen" He said teasingly. He sits on a chair turned backwards and rested his chin on the top of the back of it looking all relaxed.

 _Is he serious!_

"Nothing you haven't seen? There is _much_ you haven't seen, so don't get flattered with your little bathroom prelude." I hissed walking back the way I came in and into the shop my face burning red as it literally felt like it was releasing steam the way how flustered I was at his comment. _Nothing you haven't seen?!_ No way I would change before him. I give a one and two glances as I take off my top and cardigan pull a big T shirt over it. I removed my pants with a lot of…struggle

Dammit, it wasn't that hard to put on!

I get it off and put on a shorts sighing as I stuff everything in the bag. I kept my eyes on the passage ensuring he wasn't coming in. Once I'm done I go back finding him pulling the ceramic mixer into the center of the room.

"Oh ceramics."

"Come." he said as I waked over to him and he turned it on. The clay is already in it and the stool is already there. I sit and begin relaxing my fingers. "Make a vase, don't try and get your black laced bra covered in clay."

"I'll do my best not t-"

I froze.

My eyes glared at him as he puts on an apron and takes out a head he has been working on with his carving tools.

" **How** do you know that I am wearing that?"

"Wearing what, are we referring to the black-laced bra or the matching underwear?"

I blushed even more.

"How did you-"

"I live here, that is _not_ the only entrance to the shop."

I looked down at the clay. Ignore what he said. He is just teasing. He loves to tease you and you know it. Ignore ignore- I can't fucking ignore the fact that he is a damn peeping tom Uta I shall kill you I shall murder you, relentlessly, destructively and of course with the strength of all the women in this world who have been victims of peeping toms.

I begin sculpting and I realize it seriously has been a while. It takes me a while to even get a good height in my vase to much less start making its shape.

"Relax you hand," Uta says from where he is.

I follow relaxing my hand.

"Loosen the elbows tighten your wrist try and engage more movement into your body and not on the object, it's not the force but the energy you put against it that manipulates its body." He adds sounding the most passionate I've ever heard.

I nodded and tried as he says. I feel his eyes on me and it makes me even more anxious. The damn thing doesn't even budge into getting any better. He clicks his tongue and I feel disappointed as I hear his footsteps come closer to me.

"Kaisa, try and relax your hands." He says from behind me as I feel his body gently against mine, his hand on mine, his finger between mine and on the crappy vase as it spins between our hands.

Body heat is very comforting.

I feel his hair lightly brushing against my cheek as the cold metallic feeling of his ear piercings on my skin make me feel nervous at how close he was to me.

Suddenly, my nail digs into the vase and the wet clay being clawed out sprays onto my face. I pull away immediately cursing under my breath as the clay got in my eye.

"The sink, wash your face off." Uta said directing me to the sink as I manage to follow him as he leads me turning on the tap. I wash out my eyes blinking a couple times, my eyes felt grainy. I continued rinsing over and over. I rose up turning off the tap wiping my eye.

"Turn to me." he ordered as he takes my face and looks at my eye very steadily. Why is that he always ends up caring for me when I'm in a health crisis, there was Sunday the moving day- with the glass, the hospital room after the incident, there was the kitchen at Itori's old apartment, plus the night I met him I got scarred with the broken glass.

"How does it feel?"

"It's a lot better…"

"Does it hurt?"

I blink looking at him, those familiar words reminded me of Sunday. I pulled away walking to my bag getting a rag I packed with me drying my face. "No it doesn't, it feels perfect actually." I said nervously wiping my face. There it was again that rapid heart beating. I swallowed deeply turning around; he was at the sink looking at me. Itori's words passed through my mind. If she was right, all this would be short lived and just a fleeting feeling and something in the pass, then what, we have a weird friendship, if it doesn't work we would end up being friends but it would be awkward between us and we would probably not talk much with one another.

"Scared of me?" He asked walking towards me pulling me out of deep thought.

"Not really, I just, I was thinking about our…what we have."

He stops at the stool sitting down signaling for me to come.

I walk to him as he pulls me to his lap.

I'm sitting on him on the stool, this doesn't feel so safe.

"Aumm...won't we fall?"

"No we won't. Itori said something didn't she?"

Spot on!

I paused, "Ah…yeah." I mumbled as I rest my hands on the vase molding it taking my time this time relaxing as much as I could.

"May I know what she said?"

"Aumm, well she thinks that you're a bit dangerous and she really treats me like a sister so she doesn't want me getting hurt, I mean it's not like you're a bad guy." I smiled with it cause I found it rather amusing. He was a brother to her. I was a sister to her. Why was it the end of the earth if we liked each other?

"I'm not?"

"Y-You are?"

"I think I am." He said and I feel my body tense a little.

"I-I don't mind."

"Even if I told you that if you become my lover, you might get hurt, or even killed."

I pull away from the vase completely my hand covered in clay. "I…the world itself is a dangerous place. I really like you and I would like if you don't look down on me so much. I am capable of taking c-"

"You came to the place of a dangerous man, you came in his home. You've only known me for a short while, regardless of your friends warning…you came, so were you honestly going to say, you're capable of taking care of yourself?"

Itori sighed as she closed the bar entrance door standing outside and pushing the keys into her handbag. She turned around only to be greeted by a very familiar face.

"Ren-chan!"

"Hello Itori. Can we talk?"

"Sure do you want to go back inside?" She asked signaling to the closed door ready to reopen it.

"No we can walk and talk." He said his hand in his pocket in his usual overcoat. Itori smiled and fixed her handbag on her shoulder as they both began walking.

"So what takes Ren-chan to see me after 2?"

"Yesterday I met someone."

"Someone?"

"Her name is Kaisa Terresi."

"How did you meet Kaichi?"

"We met at the convenience store. Still, she is your best friend we have heard of all these years, it was my first time meeting her, but she smelt like Uta, it concerned me."

"Oh, she likes U-chan, today they are out on their first date I'm actually going home early today to talk her out of it. She doesn't know the man she is falling in love with."

Renji looked at her he was surprised at first but then his reaction relaxed.

"Likes him. A relationship?"

"Yes, but imagine, the leader of _The Clowns_ to be in love. Much less, with a human. Preposterous."

"It is imaginable; Uta is fund of humans as much as you are. And more than you he has many emotions"

"Well, Kaichi to me is very special. But to U-chan, if he is not seeing her as a toy it's as food. And he knows I bar him from laying a hand on her for fun moreover food. But meaningless teasing and pranks I don't mind, but he shouldn't kill or even hurt her."

"I doubt that's the issue."

"Huh, think about it, this is U-chan. He would have killed her already if he hadn't known me nor has no interest in her."

"Even if he knew you he would still kill her, Uta loves chaos and Destruction as much as you do, he could brew a fight between you if he pleased if he got tired of the relaxed relationship you share."

Itori paused. Ren-chan had a point but, "…but he hasn't hurt her, instead he helps her, and if you see the way he watches her…"

"Maybe he has feelings for her, maybe he is serous". Renji said stopping as Itori immediately stopped. She turned to him gripping his collar glaring at him.

"You're joking. He could never fall in love with her. He could be sitting down playing with her feelings lying in wait for the perfect time to strike, you know as much as I he loves playing with his food like a child entertaining himself with the unwanted scraps in his plate"

"But he hasn't. If that was his true motive would you have even allowed her to go out with him today?"

Itori paused. Her grip loosened on his clothes. Renji looked around and turned to her, "Itori maybe you have without noticing it come to realization that Uta means no harm to her as entertainment or food?"

"But-"

"If Uta wanted to entertain himself, these streets are more than enough, whether a human or cannibalism. He could be serious."

Itori looked at him, "That's wrong…she is serious about him he couldn't be serious about her."

"If she returns home tonight alive, that should be enough meaning she isn't food or a play thing."

She frowned. Everything made sense now that she thought about. She inhaled deeply and released it turning a page on that for now.

"Now to something else about her I think you should know…the real reason why I'm here."

"I was just getting around to ask you that….I know you're a man of purpose."

I looked at the clay in the wheel. "Isn't this supposed to be a date?" I asked softly. I turned my head to the side looking at him from the corner of my eyes.

"It is, Itori has just clouded your mind about today, what about you?"

"Me?"

"What is making you uncomfortable?"

"I just want to make our relationship clear, I know we both like each other but, can I call you my boyfriend, am I your…girlfriend?"

He blinked, "I believe you are."

My heart skipped a beat and I turned around a little bit more looking at him. What about him makes me so attracted to him anyways? He had such soft subtle skin, he had sleeve tattoos accompanied by one on his chest and maybe he has even more. He has many piercings. He loves art he doesn't talk a lot but when he does speak its very sensible. The more I'm around him the more I learn about him and become more attracted. I can't really find the things that stand out the most but I know there was this wicked attraction.

I slowly lean in kissing his lips as I feel him kissing me back with twice as much desire as my hands goes behind his head pulling him closer and I kiss him even more. I pulled away feeling myself getting hot and aroused no way I could continue under these circumstances and we were both on a stool. Not very safe. Plus it is just a heated kiss.

Abstinence Abstinence!

"What's wrong?" He questioned pulling me to his lips kissing me as I pull away once more pressing my hand against his chest.

"I don't want to fall." I mumble looking at him. You don't get it. I really…hate…falling. Especially from high places- AND NO I'm NOT SCARED OF HIEGHTS! Just you know- scared of falling from high places. The stool isn't that high so it won't be a far fall but falling from this stool doesn't feel like a pretty landing either.

He rose up and pulled me out to the store where there is a lounging couch directly next to the counter adjacent to the store entrance. He sits and I'm looking around wondering why we're here.

"Why did we come around here?"

"There is a lot of precious stuff around the work area which I don't want to break or fall and it's a tight space," He said as he pulled me down to his laps, "and no more stool."

"Wait, but the glass, I mean people can look at us too from outside."

"So."

"But..."

I feel his hands run down my thighs as he wraps my legs around his waist and pulls me to him pressing his lips against mine. I blush feeling us so close I mean, the bathroom was a lot but now I was sitting on him and I am flustered, and so fucking aroused.

Fuck the Abstinence.

Our kiss got more and more intense as he and I could hear his breathing becoming just as rigid as mine. I begged for air once it got too intense it's like he, no….we never wanted to stop.

It hit me just for a second but maybe Uta was just as aroused as I was. He was suppressing all of this from in the bathroom on Monday when we were interrupted a lot. And when I was drunk and led him on, no maybe I was just thinking this up it's just a thought. I put my hands on his shoulders and push him down on the couch as I sat on him looking down. He looked at me with widened eyes, not really expecting me to do that…were you?

"Kaisa?"

"Aumm, are you in any way, let's just say you were holding it all in and you're not the type of guy who waits patiently since you usually get what you want but- are you like, due to all of that….holding back…like suppressing everything."

"…." He was silent then a small smile came on his face. I blushed a little, was that a yes of a no?!

"O-Okay, well if you are… you don't have to like hold back so much- I mean that's unfair right? You can show me other sides of you which I would really like to see it. I want you like, as much as you want me of course _if_ you want me- I mean…d-do you?" Damn it I was starting to mumble bull.

He rose up slowly looking at me tilting his head to the side he was awfully close it sort of made me ease back a little.

"I do want you and I hold back for both our safety, I have to cherish you and my existence with Itori being involved." He said the last part looking away almost like a side thought fearing the Great Itori herself.

I smiled. He was being attractive without even realizing it.

"Don't hold back so much. Cause I can't." I leaned over and kissed him as slipped my hand under his shirt feeling my fingers run over his body. His muscled torso and firm chest and his body heat that radiated off him and onto me making me remember the animals we truly were. I pulled his shirt over his head as I felt his hands remove mines and move to my thighs going upwards gripping it and then to my ass squeezing it before pulling me against his groin slowly and repeatedly.

He pulled away from the kiss and just stares at me.

"What?" I question looking at him as I blush looking at the redness on his shoulders of me gripping and squeezing.

"Nothing" His voice trails off as he begins kissing my neck and the sensation just about makes me moan softly. I cringe at the feeling of his lip on my collar bone making me tingle a lot.

"T-That tickles" I say begging for him to stop.

"No Kaisa, it just really turns you on." He says making me blush.

His hands move to my shoulders as he pulls down my bra straps and then pulls down my bra cuffing my breast groping it as he looks up at me. "See…it just really _turns you on._ "

I cover my mouth as I feel him groping my breast and I nearly go breathless as the sensitivity makes me throb. I look away too embarrassed to even face him while he's doing something like this.

A phone begins ringing and it isn't mine. Uta looks up and over to the counter. "Don't-"he says reaching to the counter for it getting the phone as the cord stretches from the counter and over to the couch. I sit up turning around searching for my bra.

I'm down to my panties. I'm down to my damn panties. When did he even take off my shorts?! I turn away giving him my back as I cover my chest. We were getting so intimate. My entire skin was tingling.

"Answer it."

"Huh?" I asked looking around at him as he hands me the landline and I blink.

"He-Hello" I asked putting the phone at my ears as I hear a man's voice. I am sitting in a couch half naked my body throbbing and the cold AC air of the room hitting my body completely making my chest become erected, and here I am, doing customer service.

I hear Uta shifting behind me as I hear something drop on the floor. I look around at him but before I can spot anything I feel him pull me against him.

"Ut-"

" _Hello_ "

"Talk…" Uta whispers in my other ear as I take a glance at the position we were in fuck no; I could not focus like this.

"Hy-"I go voiceless as I feel Uta fingers move between my legs and against my underwear. I lean back against him as my eyes move to the floor to see his jeans.

" _Hello is anyone there?"_

 _He took off his jeans!_

"HySy ArtMask….Studio, how may I assist you?" I said as I am breathing heavily feeling his hands caress my body as he continues touching me.

"I made an order last week Saturday, Matsuki Kamamoto, I'm verifying for tomorrow to pick up."

It was a male, he sounded formal and friendly. But I had to do my best not to give myself away as I felt Uta's finger beginning to make circular motions.

 _No more! Please!_

I close my eyes tightly as I bite my lip how could he be doing this! Isn't this against the law of healthy non sexual protocols in Customer Service via telephone?!

"Please…it's embarrassing~"

"Please what?" He asked sucking on the same spot he bit earlier making me twitch. "All you're doing right now is ….." –he finished the sentence in my ear and pulled away return to his very sexual tease.

I blushed intensely

" _Ma'am are you okay?_ "

"I'm okay….for to-tomorrow you ca-ah, you can…..fuck" I murmured pulling the phone away from me as I began moaning feeling myself just getting so fucking horny and turning in to a throbbing mess at what he was doing.

"U-Uta" I covered my mouth embarrassed as I moaned his name. It came even more frequent. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I was still in my underwear and he wasn't even directly touching me. Control yourself Kaisa you just have to exhibit self-control.

" _Ma'am are you okay?!_ "

I blushed deeply, "I'm fine. Tomorrow. You come. Pick it up. Thank you. Bye." I hung up dropping the phone as Uta kissed me and immediately stopped. I fell helplessly against him as he turned me around and I laid backwards on the couch looking at him. Evill Uta evil! I was on a call and you basically stopped before I made it!

"This doesn't usually happen on the first date."

I shook my head. We're different. So different. We never had time for the teenage love life; instead if we went any further we would be having sex. Now I was left breathing heavily looking up to the man that transformed my afternoon into something so erotic.

"You're unfair." I muttered looking at him since he is just staring at me beneath him breathing heavily and weak.

"How so?"

"You did this, and I can't….I haven't…"

"Haven't what?"

"Gotten to have my way with you." I said in a pouty voice

He looked at me and I could feel him thinking.

I turn around completely giving him my back as I laid on my chest enjoying the comfort of the couch. I'm convinced it's a bed. It has to be a bed. It's too comfy.

I feel his fingers in my hair before they slowly run down my spine making me twitch.

"I want to tattoo along your spinal cord."

"No way…if it's against bone it hurts badly, and I don't plan to have a tattoo."

"You should let me do it. May I?"

"I'm not talking to you, like I said you did this and I can't have my way with you."

"Well…" He starts but allows it to trail on as he gave it some thought. "Is there anything you want?"

I smiled. "Let me see you naked." I teased with a playful grin. He rose up getting off the couch maybe he was walking away I mean who would even ask something so elicit?

He pulled down his underpants and I blinked frozen in the chair. "W-What are you doing!" I yelled once it reaches his thing.

"Removing my clothes" He says looking up at me blinking innocently.

"D-Don't do that!"

"It's okay I live here, the housing is upstairs, and I'm okay with nudity. Have you not seen me admiring you before a while ago?"

"Y-Yes but." I mumbled blushing as I looked at him still…aummm…..

 **(A/N: The visual is too strong readers. Please utilize imagination as per usual. No description available.)**

I watched him pull it off completely sighing as he came back to the seat pulling me over to him and I instantly pulled away curling into a ball on the opposite side. I made a quick grab for my shirt putting it on as I covered my exposed chest and….damp underwear.

"Is there something wrong?"

"You're…naked."

"And?"

"I can see you're…stuff"

"Oh…this is your doing, I told you.." he said in a teasing tone as he came closer to me lying beside me comfortable in the couch looking up at me as I was curled up against the wall.

As for the usage of the couch, Kaisa: 11%, Uta: 87%, Space: 2%

I looked at him, my eyes glancing over to it and I stared for a while. This was very awkward. I felt like it was a thing of its own and I was just….meeting it.

"You have never seen a man naked?"

"No, I have, countless times, but you're like…different"

He rose up, "What's the problem?"

"…."

"…"

I blinked, "The size – I mean, Its **Yooooouuuu** "

He remained silent for a while before sitting up and reaching for his pants putting it on.

"What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"Kaisa doesn't like me. She thinks I'm unattractive. And my size is a problem."

"What- no…it's the opposite of all of that, well kind of"

"Kind of?"

"I really really like you. I think your very attractive, and the size, the only problem would be its kind off too much for one Kaisa to handle."

"Oh…."He said turning to me. "I know nothing is wrong. I was just teasing" he added playfully. I smiled pushing him a little as we continued talking. Around 8 o' clock we decide to call it a day as he walked me home. I realized there was only just a little tension between us, because we both seemed to like each other just never knew how to really -channel it. Well for me that was mostly it. For Uta he just wanted the tension to go. We held hands, switched sun glasses for fun. We even stopped at an ice cream store so he could by me ice cream. Uta doesn't eat ice cream, he obviously hasn't experienced true life.

Once we reach the apartment he walked me to the apartment door.

"When is our second date?" I asked as I look up at him. He lightly caresses my back with his thumb under my shirt.

"Saturday, is there anywhere you would like to go?" He replied his hand going further up my clothes.

"Umm, would you like to go to a zoo?"

"Okay." He replies leaning in to hug me. Since what happened hugging has been happening more frequently and I didn't mind it. "Your back," he said pulling away "Let me put something on it."

"You are quite persistent aren't you?" I asked suddenly caught off guard by the randomness

"Yes." he said looking at me

"Okay, I'll think about it, aumm" I looked at him a bit eager, "I really don't want you to feel there is something wrong, with you being unattractive or that I don't like you."

"I know, I accept and embrace your feelings and I see it that you really admire me which makes me admire you even more, plus for the size…even if I had to _slam_ it inside you-"

My cheeks went red as I turned around opening the door. I turned around to catch that teasing look on his face as I blushed intensely. I run to my room closing the door behind me.

Why would he say that!

Itori rose out her bed as soon as she heard the door close. She went to the front door opening it to see Uta.

"So you got my message." She muttered looking at him.

" 'don't leave after you drop Kaisa off' you never call her by her first name so I knew it was serious."

"Yes it is." She said looking at him. "Is this a joke? A farce? A cat and mouse game?"

Uta looked at her. His eyes stared at her then elsewhere looking into the room as he checked just to ensure that even if his hearing as a ghoul was sharp, Kaisa was nowhere to be seen.

"You think I want to eat her."

"Then what do you want?" Itori pressed.

"Is it wrong, to like her?"

"You. Romance? It's biologically, universally, anatomically and emotionally impossible."

"Just as much as you living, trusting and loving a human." He said coming back fast and quick.

Itori narrowed her eyes on him, "That's different; I don't want you hurting her."

" _You_ are the one hurting her."

Itori looked at him, "Enough…I know she likes you a lot. Stop messing with her feelings. Your like, the king of 4th ward, the leader of the clowns, the ghoul known as the peacemaker….you make a meal out of either a ghoul or human as you please, stop messing with a human girl's feelings"

Uta looked at her and remained silent. She turned on her heels ready to leave and close the door behind her but he spoke.

"You know, even the king gets lonely, and wants to try the things that the others do. So even I would want to fall in-"

"But she is human. She can't have children with you. She will die probably before you do. It won't work. If it's not long term just let it go."

"I won't." Uta said looking at her.

"Why?" Itori asked looking at him. Her voice was upset but her eyes were weak. She didn't want to see Kaisa get hurt she didn't want to see this.

"Because-"

"What's the reason?!" She asked looking at him.

"I brought her home, alive. Enough said." He spoke looking at her then walked off. Her grip on the door knob tightened so much it cracked and broke in her hand. She closed the door leaning against it.

 _U-chan you fucking idiot. You're the same as Renji!_

* * *

 **Hope you guys liked this chapter, don't forget to favorite follow and of course- REVIEW.**


	12. When he Coquets

**Chapter 12**

 **When he Coquets.**

I spent the night messaging Uta till I fell asleep. My sleep wasn't long though since I woke up around two, I couldn't stay asleep anymore, I wanted to message Uta and tell him I was going to do some art but I was too nervous to do so. I wouldn't want to wake him up plus he did say he works in the night and the shop is open around 6pm to 4 in the morning and remains closed throughout the day. I frowned as I went to the kitchen stopping at Itori's room just to give a peek. I made myself a cup of coffee. When I was brewing it I spotted the light in Itori's room switched on and then off. Once I was done I went back to her room opening the door.

"Itori?"

"Hm?"

She looked tired.

"I saw…I saw your light come on I was wondering if I woke you up while I was in the kitchen."

"No I just, I was thinking about something regarding the shop, I forgot to make new orders."

"Oh, well I brewed a cup of coffee for you."

"Thanks Kaichi- what are you doing up so late for?"

"I wanted to go do some art, I wanted to get some work done- I have class today."

"Oh, did Kyle call you, I did some photoshoot yesterday and I saw your name put up for tonight."

"Oh errr…. maybe he will call later in the morning." I mumbled. She looked like she hadn't even slept a wink. She did look like she was worried about something as well since something was definitely on her mind.

"I'm sure the late orders won't affect the shop." I said concerned looking at her.

She turned to me smiling. "I'm sure as well, thank you for being so considerate Kaichi."

I smiled, "Drink the coffee before it gets cold, I put a lot of effort into getting those seed especially for you, it's the same as that café store at 39 boulevard, you better drink up."

She nodded as she smiled warmly at me. I know she loves the coffee at that café.

I smiled and rose up out the bed going to the door as I pulled it up gently behind me before going to my art studio. I rested the coffee on the small table.

What should I draw? Right now I was feeling something so strong, something so romantic. I wished I could cuddle Uta in his black leather couch, I needed to. So there was comfort. I also wanted to see Uta's eyes. I sighed. I shouldn't put him in my artwork. Not now-not yet. I pondered on something other than that. There were my kittens. Almost on cue I messaged Renji since I carried my phone with me apologizing for the time of the day I was messaging him then asked him how they were and finally encouraged him to let me know when I could visit and what I could assist with. I looked on my empty canvas. A small reflection of the masks at Uta's studio made me realize I wanted to paint something with mystery. Like that, I began sketching.

 _ **LATER THAT MORNING**_

"Okay so you want me to come by 7?"

"Yes darling, and you haaaaave to come today, you can't miss it, there is a double photoshoot going on and there is a girl dying to have her photo done with you~"

"Oh okay, I can't wait then."

"Of course you can't, like I said, $23,000."

"I know that's why I can't wait!"

I hung up on Kyle and continued going up the staircase to my art class. Once I reached, the first person I spot is Tyler.

"Tyler!" I said going to him as he is standing at his area with his art piece done to perfection.

"Hey, I haven't gotten a wink since the day you left. I pulled through to today. Its finnnnnnnnally done!" He said his face looked thin and exhausted but this was the norm. At least I knew that he worked really hard on this one. He lifted the sheet and the portrait of the Rasta man was definitely alive.

"Whoa….amazing." I said looking at it as it was done to perfection it was so neat and tidy.

"Yours, when did you do it?"

"Oh this morning."

"VANDEZ TYLER," Our Art Instructor said coming to me and Tyler looking at the piece, he had the grading paper in his hand. A couple students came around him looking at the piece while I stood there stepping closer to Tyler since other than him there was no else that I knew. Our Art Instructor said nothing he just stroked away on the grading sheet until he made some final scribble and signature.

"B+" He said looking at the piece with an uninterested gaze. "At least you managed to stay in the top 5 with the other Bs, now, last but not least Miss TERESSI KAISA"

Tyler smiled and so did I. He needed to stay in that top 5 he needed to maintain it. A Financial Scholarship was what he was on and if he lost it he would be out of school and trying to get a job since the family could not afford territory education.

"Yes sir" I said going to my area as I placed my work on the stand and sat down in the chair inhaling deeply giving a short prayer to my mother asking for her guidance and softening of my teacher's heart so he wouldn't be a prick. Something I always did since she was an artist like I was. A better one as well.

Once I reach my piece the crowd is around me and I'm not fazed. Tyler and I got extension dates on our work. We were the only in the class on scholarships. Still it was the only thing that allowed us to remember that we were special, other than that we were treated like scum and average students like everyone else. But honestly we never minded that.

I lifted the sheet and even I stood back looking at my finish piece.

An old man at the far left of the piece standing on a checkered pavement stretching to the horizon to meet a bright cloudy sky. It was a surrealism piece. The man wore a mask that covered his face. It was a clown mask. He wore a vibrant striped suit and had a cane in his hand. He held it in his hand stylishly looking all poised and nice. But from the right to left was a faded timeline of him as a child growing up to present-with the mask trying to remove it ripping and tearing it off until the stagnant and realistic pose of him happily with his unremoved mask. In the clouds are others in mask looking down at him but at the base laid disfigured and dismembered parts of humans. The title of my piece was _Transition: The Sacrificial Struggle._

My teacher stood looking at it curiously. It had the Elements and Principles of Art as usual and had significance such as the contrast of the clouds with the base from a bright and carnival theme to the dark and morbid theme of death and murder. The symbolic timeline of the clown trying to remove the truth about it but instead sacrificed what he was. Yet mystery remained in why he did it and who were these people in the clouds. They looked like they were proud and accepting through body gestures and postures towards him but why were all their masks so mournful and why was his mask a regular clown face and what was about the mask that he wanted to remove so much.

"Can I take a picture?" I asked my teacher.

He nodded. I snapped the shot and sent it to Renji, for some reason I wanted him to see it I wanted to know how he felt about it since he was quite passionate about the things he saw in a piece when he looked at it.

"A-" my instructor said as he began making marks on the sheet and walked away.

"Am I allowed to keep it?" I asked him

"Let it stay here for two weeks, then you can have it back, if you want it so badly make a copy give us the new and keep the original. Don't mess it up."

"Yes sir."

I swallowed and exhaled. Gladly I didn't have to sacrifice the pieces I had at home.

Tyler and I went to a café afterwards and we had a nice lunch.

"It still upsets me. You painting something in 10 hours and made it to your 11:30 class and get an A-, I have been painting something for 9 days and got a B+. It goes to say the difference between an Artist with luck and a Prodigy. Hooow can I work on my skill?" He said frustrated.

"How about you just paint more, that's what I did, paint more often learn how to master it and trust me you will be working faster without even realizing it that's what happened with me. Before I realized it I was painting what would take me an entire day in 8 hours. You adapt more to the movement, you are able to pick up the flaws more easily and before you know it, it's like you see your painting from the out and the IN side."

He looked at me.

"Did something happen?" He questioned looking at me.

"What, why would you ask that?"

"You seem more talkative… more open, when I asked you to grab lunch together you would say no but you said-

" yes." I finished looking away blushing with a small smile. Home reminded me of Uta…thinking of him made me get flustered!

"Aumm, well…" I rose up and reached for the straw at his side since my straw had a slit.

"WHOAAA!"

I froze, "What?!"

"What is that on your neck!?"

" **What?!"**

"On your neck, you have this **HUGE** red mark on your neck"

I blinked sitting back down rubbing my neck, it never really hurt but I could feel the heat a little. Was this…. _Yesterday with Uta!_

"I am taking you to the hospital –come!" He said rising up as he grabbed me out the café,

"Wait Tyler no its okay I-"

"Taxi!" He said raising his hand a taxi stopping and he pushed me inside.

"Where ya heading to"

"Hospital." Tyler said very worried as he closed the door. "Step on it!" He ordered.

10 minutes later.

I sat on the hospital bed in the room. Tyler literally brought me to the hospital rushed me to emergency and had me signed up to go in to the doctor immediately.

The door creaked open and a woman came inside.

"Okay baby girl what is the problem today?"

"Ummm….it's not really a problem. My friend he brought me here cause of this…" I pulled down my collar a little.

"Oh my god, Sweetheart what fell on you?"

"Fell?"

"A metal beam or something, how about hit, did someone hit you with a metal bat. Jesus Crist the blood looks like it has been there on the surface for more than six hours" she said checking it out I could feel her plastic gloves against my skin.

"Nothing hit or fell on me, I got it from my boyfriend, and it's a…love bite"

"Your boyfriend did this….."

"Yes….."

"Ya man?"

"Umm…yes"

"Really now"

"Y-yes"

"…"

"…"

"Sweetheart listen, our hospital works hand in hand with the government we are a trained health institution we have a psychology department that deals with abuses. There are no dry walls or video cameras here what happens in this room is confidential there is no need to lie okay sweetheart"

"Ex-Excuse me"

"It's okay, we have patients like you from time to time, what he said, did he say you were to lie and say it was a bed accident, he accidently hit you, was the sex too violent. Honey, how long has he been abusing you. We. Can. Put. Him. **Behind bars**."

I blinked. She had this completely mixed up. She was CONFUSEDDDDD. I swallowed.

"Yes aumm. He said that, he's my boyfriend but its okay I, I won't lie anymore." I bet play this out and not get Uta in trouble.

"That's right girl ain't no man gonna over power us woman. So what's he like how often does he beat you?"

"Once a day, well sometimes twice, he's alcoholic."

"Its allllllllllways the alcoholics. I swear I tell you these men want to put their hands on you the minute they drink a bottle. Wait, you must have got him back! A fine good looking ass woman like yaself you have to let me know if you got that boy baaaaack"

"O-Oh yeaaaaah" I said playing along as I felt her beginning to rub some cream on it and getting some first aid together.

"What ya do, cause you don't look like a fighting woman tho. Look like he be hitting you and you be telling him to go harder."

"W-Well, I cook his food and I clean his house so you know…..I used dried up vegetable to make his salads"

She gave me a deadpan face.

I swallowed, "A-And, his toothbrush, I use it to clean the toilet before he goes to work and watch him brush his teeth with it in the mornings"

"Ohhhhhhhh girl you doing him good!"

I looked to this ceiling. Women are evillllllll.

"So you wanna file the report."

"Huh no- I- I think I want to fight him back some more, remove the little man that's left in him, then walk all over that dignity."

"Yassss girl you gotta kill it before it breeds"

I nearly laughed.

"Well sweetheart that's you, get ya thing going. Oh. Ma momma taught me this one, you see those kitchen tiles you gotta wipe in the day time, take their underpants and rub it, rub it all ovvvvvvvva that, and the dog too. Wash the dog in a bucket and use the soapy water to fill the damn _Head and Shoulder_ they treasure so much."

"Amen I got you."

"Hell yeah KaEsa, ma name Gorgina by the way come back when he in the earth I know someone who can run a few docs for you to make you become a nobody before you can resurrect again."

"No probs."

I walked out the room smiling as I went back to the waiting area that Tyler must have been.

"Oh you got it all bandaged up-great."

"Yeah, umm Tyler what does it mean to put 'someone in the earth' and 'become a nobody before you can resurrect again'"

"It means to murder a person and remove your identity to get a new one. Like get a way with cold-blooded murder without being caught."

I froze. She was a scaaaaaarrrry woman! BUT I LIKE HER!

I left Tyler and met Nico earlier than I was to.

"You're here so early!"

"Yeah-"

"Oh my balls, what is that horrid collection of cotton on your gorgeous neck."

"Oh I received a... aumm-"

"A what, did something bite piece of your neck off?"

"NOO!"

"Oh thank god then what the hell is that?" He questioned snapping a photo of a nude model.

"My…my boyfriend…"

Kyle head snapped around. "You have boyfriend?!"

I froze. The way his head snapped around you cannot tell me I was the only person that heard the cricking or either breaking of his bone. He should bed dead- right- RIGHT?! Am I the only person who heard the sound of a bone craking?! Holy shit he is still breathing and he seems okay so alright…..okay…..I think I need to go back to the hospital again something is wrong with my hearing.

"Yes."

"Well has he fucked you as yet?! How long has it been, please tell me he hasn't drilled you?"

"What?! It's only been 2 days…and aumm, we are sexual but we haven't had sex as yet why must he drill me?!"

"Oh well darling it's _you_ , who can resist wanting to knock you up maybe once or twice, now tell me what's his name?"

"Ummmm" I blinked looking on Kyle very intimidating face, do it for Uta's sake. "His name is Terel"

 _Shit…._

"Oh~ Seeeeexxxxxxy, that makes me just about want to beg him to make the relationship an open one. Can I have his number? Sounds like he packs a good length in his pants."

"Oh my god it's a child we are talking about!"

"Huh."

"I mean, he is very childish."

"Childish, then darling how does that explain when you say the relationship is sexual?"

"Well he is childish at time."

"Well what did he do sexually?"

I blushed. I went to his ears and summarized yesterday in some 4-6 sentences.

"He fingered you!"

"WHAT KYLE NOOO!"I said so embarrassed the people in the huge studio looking around.

"He never went inside me I just. This is why I never wanted to tell you!"

"No sweetheart I just-" he pouted, "I'm sorry….." he said with an apologetic frown, "Well have you seen him naked, or even shirtless?"

The very vivid image came in my mind. "Yes…he's s muscular firm chest not robust and stiff but leaned and relaxed muscles sculpted to flexibility and strength his arms are firm biceps are tight and his hand soft but muscular his torso his hard solid pack of six, v line is rigid and strong his thighs are thick and firm legs are average but calves are strong" I said the artist in me speaking. I have done months of perfecting the human body years ago in muscles and bone structure, trust me I could make a good description of a person chest and shoulder alone and proportion the rest of their body.

Kyle nods ferociously as he drools with a pen and paper in his hand. "Like this" he said raising the picture and I nodded. He was a little artist himself on paper even though his skills were behind the camera. But if we were talking about body figures here, if he saw the face of Uta he could line every inch of muscle with its shape and size perfectly on his body on a paper and just score a 20 out of 10 without much effort. Are all photographers like this or is it because Kyle is an amazing photographer, adept poser and extremely good at working with models and creating the perfect image for the perfect price?

"Widen here, make the waist a bit smaller with more rigid bone curves, take in the shoulders, and please do thicken the thighs a bit more my man isn't malnourished below the waist"

" _My man_ she says~"

I blushed realizing the words myself, "well, he _is_ mine."

"So like this then?" he said after making the adjustments

"Yesss"

"Of such sexiness. I want him!"

"He's mine."

"Ughh, fine, tell me about his dick, you must have seen that~"

"Kyllllllllle!"

"Well don't act like a virgin now."

"I'm not gonna- well yes I did see it."

"Andddddd"

I made a length with my hand.

"Your joking~"

"I'm nooot."

"Well he definitely will be drilling you no doubt!"

I covered my face. I couldn't keep this conversation with Kyle up any further!

"Terel, sexy built a length of 8 or 9 the world will never know his face- Of course only if you let me see him!"

"I can't! If I let you see him you will steal him!" I said defensively. I don't want you to steal my Uta. I have worked with Kyle enough to see his powers. He turns straight men gay! He is like a Ruby Rose if you stare at him too long as a girl it makes you rethink your S.O.

I got out my phone and message Uta since I was thinking of him.

 _Hey what are you up to?  
7:11:24  
MESSAGE SENT_

I send the message. We had been texting each other lightly since morning. His response took a while.

 _Getting ready to open for work. Your phone client came earlier.  
7:12:52  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I blushed. That Matsuki I was talking to on the phone.

 _Did he….question about…me?  
7:13:13  
MESSAGE SENT_

" _My girlfriend and I were trying to have sex when you called" I said to him. He laughed and apologized for intervening.  
7:15:21  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

My mouth dropped. Uta said something like that to his customer annnnd he just called me his girlfriend!

 _What sort of response did he give!?  
7:17:10  
MESSAGE SENT_

 _A friend's response. We were trying to.  
7:17:13  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

 _We were?  
7:17:17  
MESSAGE SENT_

 _Would you like to very soon, say Saturday, I know it's a Zoo but it could work.  
7:17:19  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

 _Stop teasing! And no, I actually want to sort of take it slow because I don't want to just, give in so easily, as much as I want to I want to get to know you, even more.  
7:21:45  
MESSAGE SENT_

… _Define No…  
7:25:00  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

 _No Penetration (_ _Penetration_ _)  
7:25:06  
MESSAGE SENT_

I smiled waiting for his response he obviously was finding a way around me saying no. I gave lots of thought to how he was. If I was to stay ahead in this relationship, I would have to be one step ahead of him. No scratch that. I would have to be **steps** ahead of him.

 _I will take my time. Treat you like the woman and lady you are.  
7:27:18  
MESSAGE RECEIVED_

I felt respected.

 _Thank you  
7:28:54  
MESSAGE SENT_

We spoke a bit more. I told him about my artwork sent him the picture and he wanted to by my art piece so now I had three copies to do. One for myself, one for the market and one for Uta. Once photo shoot was over I got the money I worked hard for, I went to a DIFFERENT grocery store and got some little groceries. I also bought something unusual. Condoms.

Just in case….just in case.

This lifestyle of mine, ever so peaceful and with its few little ups and downs and imperfections here and there, how was I able to know that all this would change in a matter of days, how was I to know that from now on….everything was going to be different?

* * *

 _ **Okay so first off I wanna say sorry, I have been writing these chaps with a huge error. For some reason at my point of research I renamed Nico as Kyle. My readers my apology- this entire time Kaisa and Itori's boss is Nico (who I have been calling Kyle) who is a member of the clowns and was affiliated with Aogiri Tree. I recently restarted Tokyo ghoul just to get my paws down on Uta's character and I realized and I was like crap crap crap crap crap! So once again my apologies from now on I will be changing Kyle to Nico.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this story please don't forget to favorite, follow and also- reviews, reviews means a lot it keeps me going!**_


	13. Blood

**Chapter 13**

 **Blood**

Three weeks passed by quickly. I never imagined so much to happen so fast. Work progressed with more photoshoots than I have ever done since I was growing in the market but at the same time the competition was rough. If Nico wasn't there to guide me each step of the way I would have definitely been trampled by the professionals and prodigies I had to compete with each day.

Once work was over I spent few of my afternoons working on art or either at Renji with the kittens. Their eyes had opened and they were so adorable. We also brought them to the vets together and I realized how much of parents we were like to them. The Veterinarian also explained to us that they were never nurtured since birth so they had officially acknowledge Renji and I as their mother since us both were there to feed and nurture them. We never got them neutered but we did have them get their necessary shots and had them professionally pampered. My artwork progressed well sometimes I found myself painting at Renji's just so he could watch me. He wasn't a painter himself but he did help me in mixing the paint and I taught him a few tricks and techniques of art. That was _few_ of my afternoons, the 'most' were spent with Uta.

He seemed to have more or less grasped the 'No Penetration' rule I laid down. I never imagined a light relationship with him but since the past 3 weeks, it has been like that with very small intimate moments not intense but enough to keep my head in the clouds. The him I was getting to know was like unravelling a mysterious gift slowly and timidly. I asked him many questions but I was careful yet there were still things I never knew about him. We talked every day and saw each other nearly every other day. One day I won't forget was when I never got to see him for nearly three days straight, as soon as my class was over and I was packing up he was already at the door leaned up waiting on me. He had ways about him that made me want to be around him every day just making my soul want him more and more, and if wanting to be by his side wasn't enough, there was the strong desire to hold and lay with him which I had to fight, had to keep up my end of the 'No penetration' rule!

My relationship with Uta also got into my friendship with Itori where if we went out, I HAD to and by that I mean HAD TO report to her about where we went and what happened. I knew she was overprotective but she was very observant about what was taking place. We also worked on convincing the apartment owner to change the rule to have animals allowed. I knew Itori and Renji knew each other so when I introduced them to find out their relationship was as solid as the one she shared with Uta had me shocked. Then I realized he was the famous Ren chan she always spoke about. This also meant that Renji also knew Uta and the day they all came over to our apartment was quite…awkward. At first Renji and Uta spoke amongst themselves and then Itori joined and then I was left as the fourth wheel listening looking and just about feeling like the typical wallflower in society. Uta also wasn't very fond of me being around Renji sometimes and Renji always checked on me to ensure I was safe while I was with Uta.

My few 2 or 3 days to me over the period was spent in bed resting, in the kitchen cooking and baking or around the TV. I went to visit Tyler once. I had Terel reminding me of his birthday counting down the days till he turned seven. Of course after asking his mother for him on his birthday I got the chance to be where I was today. At the Neko Meko Grand Amusement Park.

"How long until we get to go on the rides Kai-Chan?" Terel said looking up at me he was as tall to a little above my knee. He was very short and young for a seven year old but still he was very adorable.

I picked him up holding him in my hand against my side as he smiled. "Well, first we wait for Aunty Itori to arrive." I said smiling at him as I turned to Uta who was here before I arrived.

"She just called said she is here with Renji." He said looking at me then around him. I'm not sure if he either felt out of place or he just never enjoyed being around people.

"Okay…I gave her the tickets so she doesn't have to join the line. Renji had work to do but he made the time so I don't mind waiting." I said looking at Uta as he really stood out. I really wanted us to treat this day for Terel but honestly I was just as excited as he was. This was my first time to the amusement park as well.

And I was getting to do this with Uta.

"Kaichiiiii!" Itori shouted coming towards me she was in a summer dress that hugged her upper body and wore low heels with black stocking. I felt super awkward in my jeans, cap and a sweater. Well at least Terel and I were both rocking the jeans, sweater and shirt look. Uta was in harem pants and a V neck grey tank top revealing his arm tattoos and some of his sun tattoo over his entire left pectoral region. He wore his tam came in slippers and wore the watch I gave him. I was in the necklace he got me as well.

"You look like a family." Itori teased as Uta was right next to me and I had Terel in my hand.

I blushed.

"Terel this is Aunty Itori and that's Uncle Renji, they're both my very close friends, are you going to be nice to them?"

"….yes." he mumbled a little embarrassed looking away.

"He's a bit shy but he is very kind and amazing. Aren't you Terel?"

He nodded and I smiled, I turned to Renji thanking him for coming since he usually has a lot of work to do. But Itori forced him to come and Uta came on my behalf to celebrate with Terel.

"Okay Terel, what's the first ride?" Itori asked him as I put him down. She took his hand and he was very friendly smiling as he pointed on the Carousel.

Itori walked with him as I took his other hand leaving the guys to themselves. When we went in a group out together or crashing at the apartment it was good to just let them be, by human nature they just merged and seemed fine with everything.

"So…" Itori started as I turned to her. We were in the waiting line waiting to go up on the ride in the next batch in the next three minutes.

"So what?"

"How has it been with Uta, I know he came over last night."

"Well he did, but I only did some art and he helped me make the snacks for today." I sad referring to the basket of food we brought that Uta was carrying.

"Oh, so you haven't found it weird that he doesn't eat a lot."

"Like you?" I asked looking at her before smiling. "He does eat though, when we go places he eats a little of this and that, last night he ate a sandwitch too. Maybe he's a light eater like you are."

"Oh." she mumbled seeming a little surprised. "Well, I'm still supervising both of you kaichi!"

"Of course, you must overlook U chan and Kaichii to ensure nothing goes wrong. I'm grateful to have a best friend like you."

She paused looking at me for a while before blushing, "I only do it because I care, I mean-" she pulled me into a hug so tight I felt like my rib cage would snap. "If anything happened to you I don't know what I would do!"

I smiled.

"Ne- are you my nee chan sister?" Terel asked looking up at Itori and I.

"yup, we are the bestestestest sisterssss ever, if you come between us- **I would gobble you up** "

Terel hugged my leg moving away from her.

"Itori! It's okay Terel she does mean that." I say picking him up and almost on cue the ride ends and we are up next.

Terel picks the prince charming huge horse that we both go on while Itori climbs onto the pony beside me.

The carousel ride was fun and after that there was the merry go round and then Terel wanted to take pictures with the public figure: Necromancer, then Itori and I had to sit with him at the kiddies live episode 432 unleased session. We felt the pressure as parents.

"Which one is next?!" I asked as he looked around before gasping.

"That one! The Neko teacup spinner!" He yelled as Itori face dropped.

"I'm going to Ren chan, make Uta go with you."

"Okayyy" I said walking to Uta he was standing there with the basket in his hand under a café table with Renji who Itori collapsed onto tired and worn out.

"My turn?" He asked resting the basket on the table as Uta looked at Terel who already had a liking to him.

"Uncle Uta we have to hurrrrrrrrry!" Terel said pulling on his pants excited and bouncing.

Uta picked him up with ease putting him on his shoulder as I blinked a couple times. This is probably the most adorable scene I have ever seen! I walk behind the two who are already blasting off a convo as we go towards the ride. The line is very short and it's boarding its new riders and we just step right up.

Its huge tea cups that we sit into and we turn the dial from 1 to 5 on how fast we want to spin around a circle for the next 5 minutes.

"Put it on 3!" Terel yells as even though he asks he is already turning the dial himself and the teacup begins moving. I look over at Uta who is fixing his tam and looks over at me.

"Are you having fun?"

"A lot"

He gives me a soft smile and I turn away feeling my heart flutter. I really could stay like this for the rest of my life.

"Kai chan look look look its going really fast!" Terel screams as I nod feeling myself starting to get just a little nauseous. I struggle to keep calm as I get even more dizzier than before the teacup was rotating while it was revolving around the circle and the huge circle that all the teacups were in was spinning and opposite direction itself. Once we get out my feet are weak and I'm wobbly.

After my fourth step I'm tilting over but before I could land on the concrete I feel a hand around my waist.

"Why didn't you say you weren't feeling well" Uta asks as we picks me up completely and I faintly here Terel worrying about me as his small hand grips my finger tightly.

"What's wrong?" Itori asks as soon as we reach to where they were. There were on the park lawn the blanket was out already.

"The ride made her a little dizzy" Uta mutters as he sits down pulling me to his chest.

"It's okay it's not bad" I managed to say but oh my god my face reddens as I feel my form against his and next to my ears I could hear the sound of his heartbeat but strongly I could smell the scent of his body- okay! Time to get up I can smell my nose bleed!

"No Kai chan you have to rest!" Terel says before me his eyes filled with water as his tiny hands squeezes my cheeks, the small 3 feet toddler had stopped me in my midst of getting up. "Do you want water? Want me to get you water, mommy always gives me water when I'm not feeling well." He adds looking at the basket going through it has he finds my famous water bottle. He tries to pull off the top. "nnng, don't worry! I just- have to-" he continues to struggle and I try to reach for him instead I feel Uta lean forward tapping the cover on my bottle as Terel looks up at him.

"Spin it" Uta instructs as Terel nods his head his little curls blowing in the wind.

"Okay…..oh- it's open!" he said shocked as he shuffles over to me on his knees, putting it at my lips.

I sit up taking it from him drinking on my own as I cover the cap looking at him.

"I feel better now."

He pouts looking at me hugging me, "I'm sorry, next time I will think about you Kai chan."

I smile. "It's okay, just seeing your smile makes me feel a bit better." I say to him as he smiles even wider.

"I know, I will get you a bean paste cake! It always makes me feel better!" He said getting up…he pauses and looks at Itori, "aumm, onee chan can you please…follow me" he mutters as Itori looks at him and he shivers a little. Why was Itori doing her best to give him a bad impression?

"Of course!" she yelled smiling as she got up and they both walked off talking to one another.

"Do you need me to go and get any medication?" Renji ask as he is sitting directly opposite from me.

"Aumm, no I feel better the water is actually working," I said taking another sip.

"Just to be safe…" he said getting up. I sighed deeply. I never wanted to worry anyone plus today was to be Terel's day and I never wanted to ruin it at all. Now I had everyone worrying about me.

"Everyone is worried." I muttered softly to myself.

"Because we care, is that a bad thing?" Uta asked from behind me and I turned to him pouting. I really wanted to take off his glasses.

"But…." I sighed again and leaned against his chest, "Are you having fun?"

He looks down at me and I look up at him. "A kid just flirted with you; I don't think it's fun to watch that."

I smiled, "Terel is special, plus….don't tell me you're being jealous?"

He never replied. My finger brushed over his lip and moved to his glasses cocking it upwards as those eyes looked down at me those red irises focusing on my face.

"It's like your eyes aren't human. I'm beginning to doubt this ink work."

"Maybe I'm not human." He says almost too soft for me to hear.

"Vampire, werewolf, don't tell me you're a zombie." I said smiling playing along with his farce "Doesn't change the fact of how much I admire your eyes." I add moving upwards to kiss his lips. It is a slow but deep kiss and as we continue it grows more intimate.

I pull away at the sound of some kids running nearby and blush lightly at the fact that we were basically seen by passers-by and others.

"Can I sleep with you tonight? I don't think I can make it home alone." Uta said looking down at me his glasses covering his eyes.

I paused. "I'll walk you home then."

"If you do I don't think I can allow you leave."

"You just want to sleep with me tonight don't you?"

He nodded. So adorable.

I sighed turning around from him. "Why all of a sudden Mr. Rule Breaker?" I teased relaxing into his body.

"Because I want to. I have waited quite a while."

"You have," I muttered turning away my cheeks getting red. It's been maybe a month and half now.

I feel him lean close to me as his lips brush my ears, "I can't promise I will hold back but I can say I will try." My eyes widened as I felt my stomach tighten. He was learning more sensitive spots on me and I'm sure if he played his cards right which I doubt he won't fail at, even I would give in. "Well…"

"Your right, we both won't be able to hold back after a while." I said softly knowing I wasn't able to stay satisfied with long kisses and mild touches.

"We're back!" Terel yells running to me with the snack as I smile taking it from him. "kai chan….you look better, was it Uncle Uta?"

"I think so, he has healing powers." I said smiling

"In my lips." Uta adds teasing as Itori covers Terel ears. Terel whispers something into Itori ears and she gasps.

"Really, I think so too."

"W-what do you think?" I ask nervously

"Sorry, you can't know." Itori teases as she looks around. "Where is renji?"

"He went to pick up some medication for me, for the dizziness."

"Oh, well let's all go to another attraction before he comes back, the haunted house!"

I nodded and Terel seemed a little excited. We clear up where we are and Itori made a call to alert Renji.

"Are you sure you can manage this Terel, it's not too late to back out."

"No, Uncle Uta said to be worthy of you I need to be a man and surpass him."

"Huh?"

I turned to Uta who shrugged.

"You told him that?!"

He didn't answer but I knew he did. I turned to Terel stooping to his level looking at him with a lot of care and compassion. How could I say this to him so that as a child he would understand? What he was talking about without realizing it was something between adults. "Terel, you already have me."

"But you love Uta." he said pouting.

"She loves me?" Uta says suddenly stooping next to me looking at Terel, he turned to me. "You do?"

I stood up picking up Terel as I walked ahead.

I. would . not. answer. that.

Itori was the most excited of us all beaming with happiness as it started. The stuff were scary. Itori was laughing, Uta was unfazed and Terel and I walked hand in hand holding tightly to each other.

"Eh, Kai chan I stepped in something gewy."

"Huh, lemme se-"

I looked down to see him stepping in blood. It's just fake blood. Kaisa its fake blood. Its fucking fake. Look away look away look away. It's just some liquid with red dye, some added medium to give it thickness and supplied with some other stuff to give it a realistic field. Its fake blood. Fake.

"Come darling let's walk fast."

"Yes we should and not look back" Terel replies moving quickly with me. Suddenly we come to a cross way and there is a grave in the middle before we can speak the cover swings off and a mommy steps out.

Terel gives an ear splitting scream and I punch the thing right in its face, Itori is dying of laughter and I just…..fuck…..my hand hurts.

"I will never ever return in a haunted house." I said as Terel grip around me tightens. "Say Terel, let's go play some games and win some prizes." I added trying to lighten up his mood. No way will I have the birthday boy saddened.

We go to the arcade section and we begin playing a bunch of games winning more tokens and prizes. I managed to win him a huge necromancer stuffed bear almost the size of him and lots of sweets.

"Okay Terel, last ride since its getting so dark, choose wisely." I said leaning against Uta as we sit in the chair. Terel is in Itori's lap as we pause from all the game and the cotton candy eating. Renji was also here but instead of sitting with us he was at the café section getting a cup of coffee for him and Itori.

"Uta do you want piece of my cotton candy?"

"Too sweet."

I pouted, "I was going to feed it to you with my mouth but-"

"I like sweet things." he suggested.

I smiled. I turned to him smiling, "ma-"

"The Ferris Wheel!" Terel shouts as renji arrives with the coffee.

"Renji, thanks for the pills if you never bought them I wouldn't have felt this energized."

"Your…welcome" he replied taking a sip of the coffee. I smiled as we all stood up getting ready to head to the Ferris Wheel.

"You know we look like a weird group. When we were at the arcade the workers were convinced Terel was the son of Uta and I and we were a weird couple. And they said you were a way too stylish girl to be with such an eerie looking guy." I said looking at Itori.

"Ren chan does draw attention to himself a lot." Uta said making a good point

"What, how so" he said immediately. We all stopped and looked at him, even Terel. "I'm not suspicious"

Itori laughed. "Ren chan you are more than 6 feet, you are a very muscular built man who wears a serious expression"

"True" I said smiling looking at him, "You always wear an overcoat, it makes you very mysterious, in the heat or in the rain your always cladded in a jacket or overcoat"

"You're very eerie, dark and dangerous" Uta teases

"Says the guy with piercings and tattoos"

"That's different, this is art"

"And I am?"

"A creep" Itori and Terel say in unison.

Renji had a dark cloud of oppression over him as we walked to the short line for the Ferris Wheel ride. I couldn't help but feel pity since when I just saw him I thought all these things. But then I realized he really is a kind and sweet person. He really is a very nice caring person with a really big heart. To be honest if I hadn't fallen for Uta I would have fallen for him. It pondered in my mind but wasn't he the typical guy Itori wanted. Kind and dangerous, dark but loving, intimidating but not talkative.

I froze. What have I done? I have ignored the 17th rule of best-friendship. I was focusing on my love life but I was not focusing on hers. I should have dealt with this- setting her and renji up. Then Uta and I and they both could double date and- WHY DID I NOT NOTICE!

It comes for us to go in the cart and Itori is holding my hand.

"Come on kaichi let's-"

"Sorry but-the heart wants what the heart wants"

I push her in the cart and then struggle, very hardly, to push renji in.

"Please go in renji" I say after strong efforts of pulling and pushing. It wasn't working. He wouldn't budge. Literally. No budging.

He nods and enters and I close the door shut. Itori is giving me on hell of a glare but I swallow it breathing on the glass writing.

 _Start your love!_

I smile to myself as the wheel turns and an empty cart appears before me. Terel, Uta and I board it.

"What did you do?"

"I gave them a chance, I never realized but, wouldn't they make a cute couple?"

"….."

"well"

"I'm not seeing the visuals. They are such strong…individuals."

"Well they….we should just give it a try."

"Instead of that, I want a response, about your feelings..."

I watched Terel begin gazing out the window as he is in awe at the view of Tokyo once the wheel begins turning and we begin getting higher.

"About?"

"Do you love me?"

I blinked a couple times in disbelief, "you're asking me, if I'm in love with you?"

 **Meanwhile**

"She is convinced we could be lovers"

"Whattttt!? That fucking woman"

"Isn't she your treasured best friend?"

"Yes but….once we get home...I'm gonna rape that bitch."

Renji chuckled into his hand as he looked out at the view. Itori looked at him sighed deeply. "Listen, I don't want you to feel lik-"

"Romance isn't your thing. Don't worry Itori, I know that."

She pouted looking at him; "great…" she frowned looking the opposite direction

 _Well this shall be an awkward ride._

* * *

I looked at Uta. "I'm not sure its love yet. I feel very strong about you but I don't know if I can say its love…as yet"

"It's okay"

I looked at him, "What about you?"

"I already know I'm falling for you." he said folding his leg openly over the other resting his elbow on the window pane of the cart and resting his chin on his wrist staring out the window. The Ferris Wheel comes to a stop and the cart makes a sudden swing. Uta immediately holds unto Terel and I fall completely over unto Uta. I look up as my face land on his…groin. My cheeks immediately get flushed.

"Oh I already said I'm falling for you, you don't have to do that, I mean you can but there is a child in our presence"

I immediately get so flustered and dart over to the other side of the cart blushing like crazy. I couldn't look at him

 _Fucking cart, how dare you. How dare you humiliate me like this! I'm so embarrassed at what happened that I couldn't even pay attention to what he had said the way I should have._

The Ferris Wheel is manually turned and all the people are taken out. As soon as we come out we realize something happened to the engine and they had to evacuate all personnel on the attraction. I sighed heavily.

"At least we got out safely"

"Sure did, seeing we almost got hurt." Uta mutters looking as the workers start clearing the area of people.

"The view was so gorgeous too! I was enjoying it." Itori exclaims sounding upset.

"I'm sorry Terel you were enjoying the view too…" I said looking down to not see Terel beside me or anywhere around me. "Terel?"

I begin scanning the area like crazy.

"Where is Terel?!" I turn to them as their faces fell into panic just as much as mine as they began looking around. He was in blue jeans red undershirt and a red jacket how could I even lose him he was right here holding unto my sweater!

I run off into the crowd and I could hear Itori calling me as I began searching looking from left to right and just following my instincts.

"Terel! Terel answer me!" I basically scream as everyone looks around at me and I panic looking around in horror and confusion.

I hear a small cry of my name coming from my left. "Terel!"

I run off to the sound and began panicking even worse. That wasn't a shout, it was like a scream. Where was he….where was he! WHERE WAS HE?!  
I run till my feet are tired and I don't know where I'm going my legs are just leading me. I stop between two high tents to see someone on the ground in the center in the darkness

"Oh God, hello sorry to interrupt have you seen a small child, ashy brown hair, big blue eyes-" I try to catch my breath as I press my palms against my knees looking up, "he is in a red shirt and blue jeans did he come this way….." me voice trails off as my eyes narrow at this man. He has something…no someone….in his hand, and his shirt is covered in blood.

I stand frozen as the man looks at me and the clouds in front the moon moves and the lights shines down on us.

Someone….a child was in his hand limp and motionless.

The person was Terel…he was covered in blood.

My heart instantly sinks and I lose the feeling in my legs.

No…a ghoul, why was a ghoul here, what is- what is going on.

I look at Terel as tears roll down my cheeks. His fingers twitch as his half lidded eyes shift a little.

"k-kai chann"

My heart throbs. He's- he's

"G-Give him back!" I scream as I run towards this thing that doges me holding Terel like a piece of rag by his foot in its hand as it stands. I land on my hands as the grass beneath dirties my palm. I pick up a glass nearby smashing it on the ground as I stand to my feet holding it in an attacking position. I swallow deeply and charge once more this time trying to aim for his face and being careful not to get Terel hurt.

"kaisa!"

It was renji voice, I could see Itori and Uta's silhouette as well as the ghoul before me doesn't even budge to turn around.

"Give him back!" I yell running toward the ghoul with the glass as I slash towards it catching its hand as the man groans in pain. He drops Terel and before I can even defend punches me directly in my side. I tumble to the ground rising on my knee. I stumble as I try to get up again never had I in my life been hit like that. I cough up the rising bile in my stomach but as I vomit on the grass its blood that comes out instead.

I feel his hand around my neck pulling me as my feet isn't even on the ground. I look down at the man my body so weak I couldn't even move as he began choking me.

My fingers twitch and my hand reaches for his face as my finger dig into his eyes.

His….unhuman eyes.

His grip around my neck tightens and I bite on my lip as I dig my finger into his socket feeling his eyeball slip into my hand and I pull it out see the optic nerve rip as he screams in agony.

" **BITCHHHHH"**

His grip tightened around my neck and my eyes widened I couldn't breathe! I couldn't breathe! My fingers gripped onto his hand as my vision gets dimmer it's like my neck was going to snap. My throat was jammed shut.

I look down at this man as my eyes begin to close. Suddenly a hand pierces through his heart and the blood sprays onto my face as it gushes from the wound and i can feel the warm liquid running down my skin as his grip loosens immediately. I fall to the ground and like that I land beside Terel. I couldn't even look at him, I couldn't even move. I feel my body getting cold I couldn't breathe and suddenly, it's like the lights shut off in my world.

My body got colder everything got darker and I could feel my body slowly become numb as the tears welled up in my eyes as realization hit me to what was happening. suddenly everything went dark...

I'm dead.

* * *

Uta hand pulls out of the ghoul body as it falls to the ground. Itori rushes to kaisa's body as she picks it up looking at her.

"Don't touch her- don't-" renji orders immediately as he looks at Terel and then to Kaisa who wasn't moving or breathing.

"sh-she's not breathing, her neck is sprained and…." She freezes. "She….her heart isn't beating" she says as the tears are already streaming.

Uta looks at her almost like she is lying. He stoops looking at the dead body and for years of killing he knew what one looked like. He….this wasn't real. She was….she couldn't die right?

"Don't die so fucking easy, that's so human, that's not you." Itori mutters looking at her as tears streak down her face the last movement her body made before its final peril.

The ghoul grunted as it got up. Its regeneration wasn't sharp but it was still breathing. Itori turned to her kind and looked away back at her best friend, her most important person, her everything.

Her kakugan activated and she bit into her hands as the ripping sound of flesh could be heard.

"What are you doing?" Renji asked looking at her as she sucked the blood from her hand before going to kaisa's lips delivering her blood inside her body.

Itori has lost it. She was completely lost, she couldn't lose her best friend like this, kaisa couldn't die like this.

Renji watched as she bit her hand and continued giving the blood to the dead body over and over again.

"Itori, what are you doing?" he questioned again.

Itori face was soaked in blood and tears when she looked up at him. "Can't you see, I'm trying to save her! If my blood-maybe- she can regenerate"

Renji watched her as he realized Itori wasn't capable of grasping the situation before her.

"Itori she is dea-"

"Don't say it!" she barked as she bit into her hand tearing more flesh so the blood could pour. Uta looked at renji. He never knew what to say. He worst couldn't even grasp what was going on, when he reached it was too late. Kaisa was being strangled she was struggling to breathe when he killed the ghoul under three seconds and she fell to the ground, she was dead.

"He strangled her breaking her trachea which probably choked her by the tightened muscle and bone, it was stifling. She lost the air needed to breath and-"

"SHUT UP!" Itori shouted as she pressed her head against her chest. "If she is dead there is 7 minutes, 7 minutes to try to save the body from this state. I just need enough blood to, to help her, and then she will get up and-"

"She is already dead stop." Renji said looking at Itori who froze unable to process what he said. he had risen his bvoice at her and he didn't like it. it hurt as much for him to say it so many times. But he knew it hurt for her as well to grasp reality, worse for uta who hasn't said a word up to now.

"N-no if we just,"

"She died saving this child. We should rush him to the hospital as fast as we can. We cant...we can't let her death go in vain." he said regretfully looking away.

Itori looked at Terel on the ground breathing horribly.

"He suffered a concussion, he is in a paralyzed state but he is alive just rush him to the hospital and"

"o…okay" she said resting the corpse slowly and carefully onto the ground.

Uta looked at her. "I will bring him Itori you can't."

"No….i- it's my fault, I will bring him." She murmured picking up the child before running with him out the dark area and into the light.

Uta turned back to the body of his girlfriend.

He inhaled sharply and couldn't even exhale as he leaned over touching her skin.

"I couldn't even feel, as the warmth left your body" he murmured as he picked her up pulling her into his hand his fingers gently caressed her face.

"The ghoul….kill him….renji." He said hearing the thing gurgle as it slowly regenerated trying to survive.

Uta looked at her. Stared longingly into her lifeless eyes. He couldn't have anyone around him right now, could let anyone see him like this. The rain suddenly pelted down as Renji stood up walking to the ghoul. You could hear the sudden snap.

"Do it slowly." Uta murmured, "Let him live through every pain like the seconds he survived since the day he was born" he added as his voice grew dark. The once violent and untamed darkness in him he learned to hid suddenly creeping out of its shell growing and curling into a formidable shape as his anger grew unbearably at such a fragile and delicate loss.

The rain soaked his face and her body which only got even more colder. The water mixed in with the tears as both streaked down his face followed by the faint sound of the ghoul's horrid scream of agony.

He bit down hard on his tongue in regret as the muscle tore and the blood began pooling inside his mouth. He leaned over and kissed her.

Even if it meant emptying his entire body. He would never want to live in a world where she no longer existed. Not after he told her he loved her. Not after he finally felt that probably deep inside he could finally love someone other than himself.

Renji knelt beside him looking at the body in his hand.

"I'll bring her home, I'll…keep her, on ice for some time, I don't think Itori should see her body for a while, she would need you the most, its best i-"

Uta coughed as he moved away from her mouth some of the blood running door her chin. Why wasn't she swallowing it why did he have to try so hard to let it go down? Was it because she was already dead?

 _Why wasn't she swallowing it?_

He tried again over and over until he lost count just filling her body with blood, maybe, it would do something.

"Maybe if we bring her to the hospital-"

"After you filled her system with ghoul blood."

Uta looked at him.

"They would turn her body into a test subject. Why was ghoul blood inside her, was she eating ghouls?"

"but…."

"Itori said her heart stopped, she hasn't moved an inch, just, we need to leave before anyone comes." Renji took the body up leaving Uta in the rain.

He felt it too, he felt the urge to cry as well but he has to be strong for both Itori and Uta. She was special to him as well.

Earlier he was getting her pills for dizziness and now he was carrying her limp body under the pouring rain in the darkness of the park. she was someone he admired, someone he treasured, a friend he grew to have. She was someone who was special to him as well...someone he grew to love behind the curtains.

* * *

 ** _Please reviewww!_**


	14. Grave

**Hey guys i held this chapter off for suspense after her death i hope you guys enjoy it please review and thank you for the wait~**

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

 **Grave**

The next day came like a knife slowly pulling across the stomach.

No one slept. Even renji.

Since he brought the body home and laid it on ice that he had in the room which he kept his meals, he hasn't touched it. He wanted to bury her immediately but he wasn't able to even touch her body to clean it or anything. Instead he stayed in the living room staring at one of her paintings on the wall while the small kittens mourned loudly at the sensation of sadness from its owner and the ominous loss of the other that it was able to sense.

It was 12 midday. He received a call on the phone from Itori.

"You have here don't you…I want to see her…it's a lie right- she's not gone!"

He rested the phone on the counter and went to the room.

 _I shouldn't answer her. I shouldn't even speak about Kaisa. I can't make it…worse._

The coldness of the room hit him like a sharp razor over his skin as he stepped further into the room and to the table with ice that her body laid upon. She wasn't chiseled. Not even a sweat.

He looked at her and removed her blouse using a knife to rip the fabric. He could then see the scarring on her ribcage. She must have suffered a punctured lung. He got the knife nearby and held it skillfully as he pressed it against her stomach and paused. He couldn't…..he just couldn't do this.

* * *

"Itori…itori….."

She shifted out her trance looking at her customer as she blinked a couple times. "I…..I don't think I can open the bar all day today again…"

"What?! Itori come on- how long have you not opened your bar- like….almost an entire week now and when you did the last two times- it was only open for a couple hours, come on what's going on?"

She looked at him, he was just a regular at her bar but he was a decent friend, a vital information broker. "I am mourning the death of my only family member, I don't really know if I can manage this…..sadness." She said as she looked on the granite counters tears welling in her eyes as they ran down slowly.

She closed the bar doors as her friend stood next to her giving her a pat on the shoulder before leaving. She pushed the keys in her bag as she walked pulling most of what was in her face behind her ears as the rest of her hair fluttered lightly in the afternoon breeze.

The sun was still up but for her it was like an intensifying sorrow as the falling of the sun and rising of the night was too similar to the one that Kaisa was murdered on leaving her with memories and images of her body not mention the smell of her blood and her facial expression that she last made.

She covered her face sobbing lightly as she walked fast in the crowd the heat not even affecting her as she was cladded in black a ritual for death that she only grant those who were close, those who were special to receive. And Kaisa was a part of that…..but she was never meant to be dead.

Her legs led her to the only place she could imagine going right now as she knocked on the closed store door banging it harder enough to possibly brake it till she smelt an over familiar scent getting closer and the phisque of a body she had known way too well approach from the other side flicking the locks installed before slowly pulling the door open staring at her face.

"He has her…..d-doesn't he?" she said bursting into sobs as she stepped in or more likely walked into him her shoulder shaking as she cried heavily into his arms unable to hold back much more.

It wasn't like she didn't cry at home. Three days she spent alone in her room staring into darkness unable to eat or even move.

"Itori chan…." His hand rubbed her back and he closed the door with his other hand gladly the purse not getting in the way but that was beyond the problem he had here….Itori was not holding up.

At all.

He led her into the other side of the store taking the hallway and the door on the left leading to the staircase to the second floor where his apartment was.

"I'm sorry."

This was the first thing he said since he sat her down in his living room looking at her wiping her tears from her swollen eyes. Lack of sleep, no eating, a lot of paleness in her skin and extremely reddened and swollen eyes. Humans would get that after hours of crying but as a ghoul that would heal in minutes. Just how much crying had she been doing for it to be so obvious….how long? How heavy? How often?

"Your sorrow….I understand….because it goes through me every day, all the time. Humans can be….so fragile"

Itori looked up at him staring point blank, "you speak as if she is in the past…..you fucking-"

"because she is….she's dead. We watched her as she had her final death and we watched her die."

She growled moving so fast against him as she hit him in the face so hard tackling him to the hardwood floor with ease as she hit him again more than positive she had broken something.

"you are an asshole you know that- I don't know what the fuck she even saw you in you! You're so cruel! So wicked and twisted! You have no idea what it means have someone important in your fucking life! Uta you fucking worthless good for nothing piece of shit!" she yelled hitting him in the face till they slowly turned to slop getting softer and softer as she broke down on top of him.

"i-i-its like you didn't love her, its like you didn't care. All the times you kissed or held her all the times she spoke to you….how…c-can you be- be around her so much and not- not falling in f-fu-fucking love with her. And now she's dead….and its my fault…..if I was al-always with her she would die she's dead because of meeee" she cried as she leaned on to him gripping his shirt sobbing into her chest as she blamed herself for everything.

She was supposed to protect her and never let her die, where, 'If anything happened to her little kaichi she would die, and then she would come back to life and kill the person who killed her.' She wanted to kill herself she wanted to be the one who was murdered instead not Kaisa…not her beloved friend who was a child, a sister, a companion and basically…..everything to her and everything she ever had...and always wanted.

"Your such an asshole you never cared- why- why aren't you hitting me back?!"

"because…I need you to let it out. I need you to blame someone. I need you to stop hurting yourself inside."

He murmured as he laid there the pain in his face feeling not so bad anymore as he looked up into the ceiling. "i…I probably fell in love with her faster than she did with me" –he said resting the back of his hand over his face an embarrassing defense since he couldn't contort his emotions at such a difficult time.

Itori looked up at him rising up as she wiped her tears. Uta just said….he was in love with her. She blinked a couple times as tears rolled down her cheeks in default and her stomach tightening. "i- I never meant what I said I never knew you loved her that strongly but I knew there was some fe-"

"you were angry. You wanted to let it out. You wanted to blame someone. You wanting to stop hurting yourself…on the inside" –he murmured not moving an inch. "what you want the most is for me to comfort you thou….thats why you're here" –he said moving his hand as he sat up looking at her.

She nodded her cheeks soaking wet as she hugged him suddenly out of nowhere gripping him tightly. She felt better, she felt so much better. Half of her was missing but she felt much better than she did before when she was on the verge of starving herself to death.

* * *

Uta watched her sleeping as he gently ran his hand though her red foxen hair pulling the blankets over her knowing this was the best sleep she was getting since the incident. He closed the door behind him moving to the living room fixing the chairs shifted out of place from her tantrum.

He felt like he had maybe said too much about Kaisa. Even if it was just a line of below fifteen words.

He did love her though. After their first date everything after that was so….different. a lifestyle where her looking at him smiling for no reason. Could mean a thousand things. But because they were in love….he knew exactly what she was saying. Like through her eyes, through her lips, down to the way she spoke or manipulate her body…every line of movement was a clear sentence that channeled what she couldn't say. For years of watching humans she seemed the most interesting, but like renji said it was only so because he loved her.

When there is someone special or close to you. Everything about them is so….different. but it's because they are so special to you, everything they do or say becomes different, but on the outer eye, they are just the same as any other human you would see or meet.

She made a day feel like an adventure by either suddenly appearing at his store door or randomly carrying him to the park out of nowhere.

Maybe it was the way she said his name the way she looked at him or the way she held his hand.

Maybe it was how soft her lips were, how smooth her legs felt or the captivation that lied in her eyes when he looked at her.

Or maybe….the way she smelt. The way she suited a delicacy for a full meal. The scent of her sweet enchanting blood or the fat that laid beneath her skin.

Maybe it was nothing…..and maybe it was all.

Either way, she had more than left an impact to bring him to question his own wits of if she truly had died. He walked to the bathroom looking at his self recalling what Itori had said and he thought to himself, what if it was all true? What if all she said weren't really lies? When people are on an emotional spur, the one thing they are able to deliver from bottling everything up…is truth.

Somewhere deep inside he knew what he had said to Itori was something he meant. Humans are truly fragile. A crushed trachea and she's dead, a crushed trachea for him and it would heal in….37 seconds. He looked in the mirror wrapping his hand around his neck in a strangling position as a solid squeeze was good enough to filling the bathroom with the sound of bones cracking and snapping under pressure additionally breaking skin as the blood seeped through his finger, as usually he was too rough. He spat out the blood in the basin looking back up to see the neck reforming to its state as the skin healed perfectly. 22 seconds. He hasn't been very active lately in combat but his healing ability progressed even better.

He thought of what he felt as he tilted his neck in different angles observing the perfect recovery. She never felt anything like that, she never had an experience of her limb being removed or a hole in her stomach or her extremities splattered around. For her maybe she died of shock before she was impacted by pain which of her kind would be horrifying. He pouted watching the blood down the sink looking up to the mirror frowning.

"It didn't even hurt"

* * *

 _ **Please favorite, follow and review! I hope you liked it!**_


	15. The Hoped Hope

_**Happy new years I love you guys so much thank you for supporting. No way in hell my story stops here- i hope you guys enjoy and please review!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 16**  
 **The Hoped hope**

He looked in the ceiling staring at the cream colored paint looking down once he felt lust climb his legs and land on his stomach pressing her paws on him.

"What's wrong?" he asked picking her up resting the ball of fur on his chest as she relaxed on him licking her paw.

Nothing was wrong maybe she was just concerned? How often had he spaced out like this just lost in thought trying to comprehend why something so sad had happened to one they loved at their fingertips. He could have stopped it. He could have prevented it.

It had been two weeks since the death had happened and other than the last time he looked at it, there hasn't been another time since he visited it then. Her body. Since last week Uta had been leaving messages on Itori's behalf, she wasn't sleeping well and neither was she eating and that led to Uta having to be taking care of her in that vegetative state.

He rose up going to his bathroom washing his hands he knew today was the day. A body couldn't go over 2 weeks on just ice without beginning to decay and he didn't have the equipment to keep it any longer. He cleaned his hands sanitizing them as he went into the room closing the vault like door behind him. The coldness of the room was very intense as he moved to her body looking at her pale skin color that had become a little purple under the extreme cold along with the darkening of her lips. He turned the pipe on next to her body in the little sink of sanitizing the equipment as he cleaned them with hot water putting his gloves and his plastic apron afterwards.

He took the knife held it skillfully as he pressed it against her stomach and the blood began to surface as he slowly pulled it downward. He stopped half way about an inch in length and pulled the knife away. He just couldn't do it. It just wasn't right.

He looked at her again and realized something, the necklace she was wearing. More likely some symbolic jewelry. She said her parents were dead and she had no family, so it could be a gift from Itori or Uta. People who loved her.

He never wanted to do this, this wasn't his duty. She was to him just as precious as Itori and Uta. In such short time she made an impact on him, became a lover to Uta and someone who seemingly fit into the three's friendship like she was already there.

He looked at the blood and touched it and paused. It was warm.

Too warm. Too warm for the blood from the body of a dead person. The body is dead there is no oxygen able to be sent through the blood system and passing through the heart and into the blood stream to keep it warm and contain air. The blood should also be still since all movement in the body was halted and regardless of being in a cold room because the body is dead it shouldn't be able to produce heat to keep the body warm and the organs running yet…yet.

He looked at her, opened her eyes staring at her dilated pupils and then rested his hand on her heart. It was faint. It was very and extremely faint but it was there.

A heartbeat.

 **EXTRA**

He sat for hours before he called someone who he thought might be of help, someone his boss knew well who would probably be able to configure what was going on.

"It wouldn't be possible. The human body doesn't work like that but maybe from the incident and punctured rib there wouldn't be immediate death, she would have been in a vegetative state not even a paralysis. Also with all that has taken place additionally without the other follow-ups a hospital would provide after 5 hours she would have lost the ability, or more like the ability of the body itself to sustain its capability to be in such a fragile state for so long. Something would have needed to maintain that progress; something would have been needed to make her sustain herself throughout that period of time. That is the mystery though. Is she a new test subject, or is this just an ideology? We can always test something like this since it's new to my research." –the man said looking at the body deeply intrigued as he observed the mild wound on her stomach pressing lightly as the blood seeped out from underneath.- "so fresh, so warm, no doubt that there is life."

Renji didn't know who to contact or even call regarding this issue, how was he to tell them 'I think she is alive' if it's possible that she is dead, or how could he say she is really dead if there is a chance for her to come back to life. He injected a blood transfusion needle into her hand as he managed to forcefully extract his blood and put it in a blood bag hanging it next to her.

Something would have needed to maintain that progress, only one answer lied ahead, what maintained that progress, must have been the blood.

It was more frustrating than he expected it to be. By the second day he had to let them know. The wound he inflicted on her… was proof of life as it slowly healed, her body wasn't reacting like the normal human body behavior since it was healing faster with his blood, could it have been that ghoul blood had healing properties unknown to man?

Both of them stood looking at the body. Renji looked at them and looked back down at kaisa who wasn't moving or anything but the sure sight of life was the slow rising and falling of her chest. The other man opposite of them was kanou's underling, Vertigo, a ghoul doctor. Famous on the black market but not very successful. At the same time renji knew he was safer than kanou who would use Kaisa. Instead vertigo was more interested in his discoveries rather than his experiments, plus his life was on the line.

"It's a slower heartbeat, fragile. She is very irresponsive to her surroundings. You could say she was comatose but, once she doesn't receive blood, she dies. I have tried a non-dosage for 30 minutes and her heartbeat nearly faded."

Renji looked up at him raising an eyebrow. "How is it even possible?"

Vertigo looked at renji then to them, "if I'm right Itori and Uta gave her blood and so did you, it could be that she is reacting to the RC Cells, it could also be that what is taking place is similar to kanou's work, just the more raw and layman version."

"Can this work with any other human?" Renji asked rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. This was new. This was beyond his knowledge.

"No I doubt it but then again, she has lived and grown around you, she has been exposed to you as a different species, maybe she had indivertibly received RC cells more than regular humans that has been slowly growing over the periods of being our kind, but after losing large amount of blood and suddenly replaced with ghoul blood it can only be safe to presume this comatose like state is due to the in-balance of the blood of human and ghoul inside her. We just have to continue until it becomes steady, maybe then she would regain consciousness."

"How much more does she need?" Renji asked looking at her.

"10…probably 20 bags, it depends…..I've never done this before."

"I'll supply it." He said without hesitation. It was best to keep her alive with all he could.

" **We** …..will supply it" Itori corrected as she caressed Kaisa's face the tears slowly streaking down as she looked at vertigo very serious.

Vertigo looked at her and smiled manically, "oh well I promise to do my be-"

"I don't need your promise….I just need it done" Itori said as she looked at him glaring heavily.

* * *

 _ **Kaisa livvvvves. And you can get to see her active in the next chap. Gosh having to write two chaps without her was like so hard she is the heartbeat of this story and i can hardly imagine how terrifying it was for you guys for those who thought she actually died cause in my head i just through this in before the bigger plot to test the waters and make it more epic for the main act. Thanks for the support so far have a blessed, happy and prosperous New Years. Please favourite, follow and Review.**_

 _ **Love- Universal**_


	16. Presence

**Chapter 16**  
 **Presence**

"Kaisa…slowly….sit up, very slowly"

"My b-back….hurtss." I manage to say as I swear this is the worst throat pain in history.

Itori supports me and I flush red at the sight of what I'm wearing. A huge T-shirt and underwear. I'm in a bedroom I barely know but starting to get used to and my arm is connected to the IV drip stand with an IV and receiving blood bag.

The first person I saw was Renji. I could hear sounds but they were so small and Renji was generally a silent person so the loudest sound I would hear was either the drawers or the door locks. He explained slowly and very detailed the position I was in along with my conditions leaving no vital information out as he confirmed the one question I died with in my head.

 _They were all… ghouls._

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I be so damn stupid to realize not even the slightest. Ha. The stupidity was Itori. I lived nearly my entire life with her and I never even figured it out, but then it made sense. Her club. Her eating habits. Her strength. Her underground links. I just never figured she was of that….kind.

And Uta. The question was asked _because_ of him. The eyes of that man as he chocked me were the same as Uta and I realized then, this isn't a tattoo. These were the eyes of the monster that go around eating humans murdering them for fun.

I wanted to scream I wanted to move away from renji when he replied yes but then he was taking care of me and renji was so…kind. And loving. And gentle.

It didn't make sense.

It just never made sense.

The next day I saw Itori and when she entered I witnessed her face drained of color and life as she stumbled over her own feet and fell at the bed crying helplessly. I felt my eyes release water themselves as I couldn't understand how, knowing what she was, I was able to feel such relief when I saw her step through the door. My hands caressed her face as I looked at her worrisome one. What level of pain was she going through? She got thinner….pale…sickly…she looked like a breeze was enough to slam her dead to the floor.

As the days progressed she grew better, like today. She wore heavier layers of clothes maybe due to the rainfall season but I felt it was primarily to hide her thinned figure.

"It's going to hurt….that's why we're putting you in a brace. When you wear this it helps the healing."

"But…I already have on this neck brace..."

"No more talking. And I know," she leaned over and kissed my forehead, "you'll wear it 14 hours a day"

I frowned. "Itori…"

"hmm?" She washed the washrag in the warm water as she reached over doing the last of bathing me wiping my face.

"When…am I going to see Uta?"

She frowned. She didn't answer. Again. This was the ninth time I was asking since I woke up and she never replied each time I asked.

She dressed me in silence as she placed my neck brace on tucking me under covers as she rubbed the balm on my lips then kissed me on my forehead.

I listened to her leave the room closing the door behind her as I turned a little in the bed closing my eyes.

/

"She asked again." Itori said as she looked over at Uta crouched at the doorway looking unto the carpet as he looked over at the closed door then back to the floor.

Itori looked at him as she felt her eyes swell with water wanting to cry. Instead she held it in turning away with the pale of water heading to the laundry.

Renji met her halfway taking the pale from her as he carried it himself but she still followed longing for the comfort she knew she received every time she left that room from renji.

"It's so sad!" she releases as she cries unto him her shoulders shaking as renji rubbed her back the sound or the machine spinning behind them as they stood in the laundry room. "She asks for him every day…every day she asks and when she does I can see how- how it hurts….how much she wants to cry…she doesn't even know…."

Renji hugged her closer. It's been so rough. He felt like this was becoming unbearable at this point and that was the level it was for him. He couldn't even imagine the level for Itori who was more involved and worse, Uta himself. He kept holding her until she finished as she pulled away wiping her tears fixing her hair as she wiped her face with his handkerchief she had been holding on to.

"He's here every day….since she woke up he has been here at her room door just listening to her….watching her…protecting her. He wouldn't even enter when she is sleeping, just to look at her. I know he senses her and he can hear her voice but how does he do it? To not move, to not look at her. Just to enter the fucking room, that's all he has to do." Itori looked up at renji and he kept his expression serious and firm just giving her his full attention. He knew himself what she meant, he had seen it first handed too. Only Itori and he have been entering the room. Uta hasn't seen her face to face since she woke up.

 **Later on that Afternoon.**

Renji went out leaving Itori and Uta at home. Itori was preparing something in time for Kaisa when she woke up.

"I know she likes wine and that's not healthy so I decided to make a smoothie for her."

"That's cruel. The reason she is still on IV at this rate is because her throat and neck hasn't completely healed. It is going to be difficult for her to swallow."

Itori stopped as she looked at him. "I don't cook. I'm trying to do this for her and I am doing my hardest to make it really good and thin so it's not as painful as it would be. She's on the drip I'm sure she misses the sensation of food in her mouth, plus…it's gonna make her a little happy."

"Last night she didn't sleep well." Uta said the sound of worry in his voice. "While I sat out her room I could hear her turning in the bed and groaning softly…she isn't in pain but maybe its nightmares"

Itori paused. "Maybe nightmares. This morning it didn't look like she got a lot of sleep so most likely it's that."

"I didn't sleep because I wondered, what if she fell off the bed in her distress, or she began crying….again. I would have to get you to get to her so she wou-"

"Uta…it would help so much….if you were there with her. The nightmares….the crying…if you were there."

He remained silent.

"Of course…nothing to say. Well you know Uta…" she gripped the knife as she stabbed the apple before her looking at him

"I lose. You win. You do love her, you love her so much you are so scared of confronting her now that she knows the truth. You're so scared that….she is going to walk away from you or scream when she sees you or look at you in fear or disgust. I understand, I was too. But instead, she hasn't and I'm sure she won't do that to you."

He looked at her. He didn't know what to say. That was the reason he didn't want to see her. Now he just wanted to watch her from afar as hard as it was.

Itori sighed. "You can't hide forever." She said as she returned to cutting up the apples as she diced them up throwing them in the blender as she began making the smoothie.

 **After a few Hours.**

I woke up swallowing involuntarily as I sat up slowly. Yes! I woke up and Itori wasn't around which meant some time to me!

I unbuckled the neck rest taking it off as I felt a little uncomfortable at the stiffness stretching my neck a little. To be honest the only pain I felt was the stiffness from this thing around my neck. I looked around the room frowning as I shuffled around in the bed deciding I would move around the room for a first. Almost immediately I heard footsetps. I grabbed the neck restraint putting it around my neck as I shuffled back down into the bed pulling the sheets back up just in time as Itori steps in with a tray.

"Oh your awake." She said coming to me. I see a smoothie. I want that smoothie

. .

She sat in the chair beside the bed as she smiled looking at me and I tense a little. Please tell me she is unaware. I remain silent in guilt and fear.

"You have the expression of a guilty person"

SHE KNOOOOWWWWSSSSSSSS

"a-ah I we-"

"I know…you don't have to say it. You were worried when you woke up because you didn't see me."

I blinked.

"well I made smoothie for you"

"wait….you made it…..oh." I thought she bought it. If she made it…then this is fatal. Woman has never cooked in her life. Then that thing is my ticket to the other side.

"What's that supposed to mean. It has lots of love Kaichi….now….drink"

 **meanwhile**

Renji had invited the doctor over to hopefully see the next update of Kaisa's condition since she woke back up.

"Her neck is already healed. That's not logical."

The doctor grinned going through his files revealing the illustration of the x-ray done on her neck. "As you can see, there wasn't even a steady bone remaining since it was completely smashed. But last week when I came this-" he showed them the most previous, "-was her result. Her healing is remarkable, I-I can hardly believe it. She has done what is in-survivable by surviving such a fatal attack that definitely results death. I mean…the atlas, axis, hyoid bone, c1-c7 vertebra, the trachea, the cricoid and thyroid cartilage down to the epiglottis- everything posterior and anterior broken and crushed, damaged to an irreversibly by scientific power state, have returned to its true form so quickly. It is the foundation of something so great that humans can't even do. What she has done….is something only a ghoul can achieve due to their RC cells. She healed so quickly and its remarkable!" Vertigo said excited as he rested the papers down.

"But, Kaisa…she's human right or is she….a ghoul- will she have to stay on ghoul blood." Renji asked. Its almost like he took the words from Uta's mouth.

"One step at a time, it would be smart to have her blood count checked. She's lost more than half of her own blood. The heart is a magnificent organ, it has the potential to recreate, clean and create new blood. It will take time but the blood will change back." Vertigo said looking at them both. "I have to go, I will be visiting to check her up" he said taking up his stuff getting ready to leave. "Oh…she is completely fine but her body does seem to be suffering from fatigue which might be the excessive sleeping. Continue her on ghoul blood and remove her from the IV since its unnecessary at this point." He said leaving afterwards as renji and Uta sat down both their heads filled with questions and concerns.

"This is good news. Itori should take a few days off just to recover from the worrying and put herself together. She has been stuck to Kaisa closer than that bed."

Uta nearly smiled as renji did have a point.

"I think this is the part where you step in, and take care of her yourself."

Uta looked at him. "There are other places I can help. Protection from the outside so no one finds her here."

"You have been doing that. And that ghoul…he's already dead, a request you made that I did without a budge." Renji said rising up. "You were very insistent that he dies."

Uta shifted a little looking into the ceiling. He was awfully tired having not slept for two days straight. He was more conscious about Kaisa and her sleeping and her safety and her health.

Later that night as he sat out her room with the pillow and his sheet he laid on it looking in the ceiling. Renji had spoken to Itori insisting that she left for three days to rest as she would do better eating and getting rest. Itori was pissed but renji had hit the nail on the head when he asked her if she pondered how Kaisa felt seeing her everyday looking thin and weak. She returned to Kaisa room telling her she would leave as she left the following afternoon.

He figured that Itori found what Kaisa felt and thought very important since it proved to him like many other times that Kaisa was extremely influential in her life. She stopped eating and lost sleep, if Itori was placed on the battlefield in that state being targeted as a ghoul she wouldn't face anything and last seconds.

He shifted a little as his eyes felt heavy. He couldn't judge her, he himself haven't been sleeping properly however he did eat. Being targeted by the doves almost his entire life taught him that eating was his main priority even if his own arms were chopped off and couldn't regrow. Eat. Get stronger. Continue living. Don't give up.

* * *

I turned in my bed sitting up as I pulled off the neck brace and did the same with the back support. There was no way in hell I could sleep with these things on me. Fuck. As a matter of fact there was no way I could sleep with my stomach growling at this level. As I shift I realize it's literally 2 in the morning when I look at the clock. I rise out the bed and shift as I immediately hear the sound of the cords attach to me being pulled.

I froze and turned to the IV frowning. I didn't want to have to bring it with me to the kitchen. I pulled out the needles hissing under my breath as I slowly and lightly step to the door slowly opening it. I step out my room smiling since I really have never moved around since I woke up and this was the furthest I have gone so far. Before I take another step I look around and freeze as I spot the body on the floor.

It was…Uta.

"Uta…"

* * *

 **EXTRA**

* * *

I feel my eyes water as I slowly stoop down stretching my hands over to his cheeks.

As soon as my finger touches his skin I feel him grip my wrist pinning me to the floor as I feel his fingers press against my abdomen.

His movements paused as he looked into my eyes almost like realizing it was me. "Kaisa?!" he pulled away immediately.

The tears ran down the sides of my face as I looked up at him my throat feeling so dry as I realize this really isn't a dream. He's actually here, he was always here….this entire time.

* * *

 _ **Please follow favorite and don't forget to review!**_


	17. The Good Part

**Chapter 17  
The Good Part  
**

My eyes watered, if I was seeing right, which I knew I was for sure….Uta was right before me.

My hand reached out to touch him because this couldn't be a dream.

His eyes stared directly into my mine and a flash of that night was enough to make my hand stop and start to retract. But as I felt it I also felt his eyes moving away from mine and I knew the hesitation had struck him. It was beyond my control.

How could I have even acted like nothing didn't happen?

 _He's a ghoul._

The man I fell in love with was a cold-blooded murder who maybe at this point has a colony of dead bodies at his feet. There was no doubt in my mind that he was a ghoul like renji. Just looking at him and his demeanor made me knew he had the power to destroy at least thrice as the regular.

I leaned forward putting on my best coat of confidence as I stroked his cheek lightly and like that I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest. It hasn't changed. Every time I touch him, the tingling sensation which I would feel inside me- it hasn't changed.

I smiled a little as my fingers slowly trailed over his skin pressing lightly on the flesh beneath and over the bone structure-just remapping the face I had grown so use to. He was the only man I couldn't draw and because of that I was beyond fascination. Small clips of what I could recollect as memories scurried through my mind of when we just met as I blushed a little leaning forward to relax my body against his finding comfort in his built.

"Hug me." I begged softly as the scent of blood and paint mixed with leather and steel filled my nose, a scent that drove me mad because to me it was the best. My hands snaked around his waist and I felt him slowly hug me back as I slowly began to cry.

He was really here.

It's not a dream and it's really him.

 _I almost died- I almost lost him._

"Kaisa"

I rose a little looking up at him. The closer I was to him the more I could see into his eyes.

I was scared shitless fuck of ghouls, but I'm not scared of renji, Itori and him. His eyes are different. Way different.

"Yes?" I answered looking at him. The lamp from the room was the only light that had provided some visual within the hall even though it was faint and dim I was able to see him perfectly in this night.

He held my face looking into my eyes as he leaned over and pressed his forehead against mine.

"You shouldn't lose out on sleep….head back to bed."

"Not without you there."

"Kaisa you should-"

"Not without. You. There."

I was very determined.

He rose up as I held his hand I wouldn't leave without him. Not when I just found him. I felt him pick me up his firm muscular hands supported my body under my back and legs while I held on tightly around his neck. For some reason while he carried me I felt like to him I weighed a feather.

"Sleep beside me, I want you beside me. I don't want you to leave not when I know you're here" I said once he pulls the sheet over me and he's beside the bed and not in it.

"Kaisa, I'll watch you sleep. I'll stand right here."

"Lies, come beside me. Your eyes have bags and you haven't slept comfortably I can tell. I know you Uta…your avoiding me."

"I'm sorry Kaisa but I think your misunderst-"

"I don't care if you're a ghoul, my feelings won't change", the inner me froze, what was I saying of course I do care he is a damn ghoul he murders and kills people! For some reason the opposite words were coming out my mouth but also more strangely, part of me was okay with this. "Your my boyfriend and I won't give up on you, on this…..on us. Stop being stubborn"

His expression softened but he seemed slightly shocked and the same time…..relieved. how was I able to read his expressions so well I wouldn't know, but I could tell by his face that he was more relaxed than earlier.

"Come here." I murmured lifting the sheet welcoming him beside me as I shuffled a little. I watched him hesitate at first but then he slipped his shoes off and removed his sweater as he emptied his pockets of some small stuff before entering the bed lying next to me.

"Kaisa you're a very determined woman."

"I know that." I replied smiling as I rested my hand on his chest feeling hi exposed skin. I inhaled his scent humming softly as I felt him shuffle a little making himself comfortable.

"I like it." he added as his hands made small circles in my back and I blushed lightly. His touch was so relaxing and enticing- but this was Uta we were talking about!

This was my first night with him in a bed and he fell asleep faster than I expected. I guess ghouls are much like humans when it came to sufficient rest and sleep.

The next morning I was out of bed and in the bathroom brushing my own teeth Uta was doing his right next to me he seemed more at home than I did. How often does he come to renji's? He even has his own tooth brush. I look at him the entire time curiously in the glass as I stare at his teeth. They don't look that different than mine but they do look awfully white and his canines a bit sharper, remove a bit- his canines were extremely sharp.

"Kaisa-chan is staring~" he whined loudly as I blushed. I wasn't looking on purpose!

I washed out my mouth looking back at him as he dried his face with a clean towel. Does he ever deactivate his kakugan. Itori showed me hers when I asked and I wasn't quite comfortable with asking renji but she explained it was something she was able to control.

Uta never deactivates his.

"Uta, how often do you floss?" I asked seeing him skipping the floss and going straight to mouthwash.

"Only when I feed." he replied without looking at me as he began rinsing his mouth with the bacteria fighting liquid.

Bad question! He didn't even said eat but feed! I can only conclude that eating usually leave bits and pieces behind but outside of that because they don't eat course meals like humans there wouldn't be a necessity right?

"Kaisa, you should pay more attention." he said as he took the towel from my hand and dried my face properly. I felt like a child, I spent so much time ogling at him I didn't realize I got some of my bang wet along with toothpaste on my jaw. "Something distracting you"

"My very interesting boyfriend that's a ghoul"

His movement paused for a second then resumed. "It's my pleasure to have your attention but I would like however for you to not make a mess while's you're at it."

I nodded. I got scolded by my boyfriend for looking at him. Great. I can see our future mornings going well.

Renji has left for work and I am home along with Uta. One thing I do admire about this guy is his talent for maintain absolute silence. However it didn't last long as my tummy demanded care.

"hungwwwy"

He looked over at me blinking as it was either him trying to verify what I said or him wondering if that sound really came from my stomach. I blushed a little feeling quite embarrassed.

"I'll make something."

He says standing up as he goes to the kitchen and I watch him begin going through the fridge and the cupboard. How do ghouls know how to cook if they don't eat human food? I start to smell eggs and the there is pancake….and then there is the scent of coffee. I rose up walking to the kitchen as he turns to me while flipping the pancake.

"You can cook?" I asked blinking as I looked at him and then my sunny side up egg resting on a slice of bread as the other had lettuce and salad- he moves fast! When did he even wash and chop these up?

"I learn, I don't know if it tastes okay though." he says as he puts three small pancakes in the saucer and switches off the stove.

"Well it smells- really really good" I said my stomach growling louder.

He looked at my tummy and then to me. Okay- that's it! I feel my cheeks light up as I quickly steal a pancake and run away.

Damn tummy creating a scene trying to get everyone's attention- HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME!

I pout as I stuffed my cheeks in the corner of the couch feeding the bitch as she digest it perfectly.

"Someone looks guilty."

I blush looking up at him as he carries my plate of breakfast and a cup of coffee.

"Not guilty…just-"

He silences me resting the mouthwatering egg sandwich on my lap as I don't care about the warm plate but my mouth slowly watering. When was the last I ate food- almost an entire freaking month!

"I get hungry too Kaisa, everyone does." He said sitting beside me as he takes a sip of the coffee,- wait…..what?

I blink for a second, oh yeah….Renji did said they were only able to drink coffee, so if that was right water was okay too right?

I began eating, trying my best not to savage it all at once as Uta official makes the best sunny side up eggs and I can say that cause I love cooking- this ghoul deserves a medal of honor and ability for the coking and perfection of egg. I eat my pancakes humming happily as I chew my little blueberries smiling in delight.

"Seems like it was yummy."

"Very….I'm stuffed." I purred as I feel perfect right now…I hug the cushion before me and look at him as he rests the cup at his feet and reached over to me kissing my forehead.

I blush as I lean forward while he pulls away and kisses his lips feeling him pause as I return to my little spot blushing a lot. I miss kissing him.

He picks me up pulling me onto his lap as I blinked looking at him.

"My very daring Kaisa, no one is around," he says almost instigating something as I feel my cheeks get hot. I lean forward kissing his lips lightly as I pulled away-

"th-there"

He smirked pulling me closer against his body in his lap as I feel my chest press against his and my hands automatically rest on is shoulder as I get even redder.

This was embarrassing and extremely arousing, I barely in clothes so my very long t- shirt was doing me no justice as it rose up due to my sitting exposing my entire underwear. His hands gripped my thighs rubbing them as he leaned over his lips lightly brushing over mine teasing me.

"Pardon my behavior, it's been a while since I had my girlfriend"

I nod slowly as I can feel my heartbeat between us and his hand snaking up my skin as it travels up my back rubbing over my skin as I look down between us. I want to touch him as well!

My hands move to his shirt as I feel him pause looking at my movements as I lift his shirt to see his die hard torso. I freeze, and then I melt….and then I slowly start my journey to embarrassment.

This took a turn for the worse, I was supposed to caress him, not melt at the sight of his body beneath me- pull it together Kaisa!

I looked up at him and he grins as he takes my hand wrapping them around his neck as he leans closer. "Speechless?" he teases as his hands move to my stomach.

"nn..no….I just"

He bit my lip making me jolt a little. Lip biting and Uta's lip biting- are two very extremely different things. And now that I know he is a ghoul- especially his hickeys compared to a regular one.

Biting turns to sucking as he teases me feverishly beginning a hot and heated kiss only to stop right as it began and pull away with so light pecks.

He takes his time teasing me as I begin to feel restless. I wanted to completely kiss him and not lean forward to only get piece of what I desire so badly.

He pulls me in for the kill slipping his tongue inside my mouth as I moan softly feeling my stomach tighten. His tongue moves around mine flickering against it as I slowly match his speed, playing with him before passionately engaging us both in an intense prolonging kiss.

I feel his hands holding me close as mine started going through his hair undoing his ponytail as I begin balling locks of hair in my hand breathing unsteadily in the kiss.

He pulls away giving me a heavy lustful look as I release his hair watching it fall a little over his shoulders. I blush more admiring his new hairdo better than his usual as I lift the hem of my shirt pulling it up only to feel him pull it back down.

"I won't hold back if you do that." he mumbles looking at me as I can see the regret of just stopping me in his face.

"But I want…it" I mumble wanting it to get more…..intoxicating as I start to breath more calmly.

"I know Kaisa but-"

I pulled it off nevertheless as I swallowed looking at him. This was the firs my self-control lost a battle with Uta, I felt extremely…..into it- right now.

"I know you want it" I whisper leaning in kissing him as I shift in his lap moving closer to him slowly moving my hips, what in the hell was going on with my body right now?!

"Kaisa, I do…but if I lose control, I might hurt you….and now I want to do things to you that I shouldn't even think of."

I blushed. "Like?"

"Eating you."

I froze. I covered back my body with my shirt and moved out his lap.

Did Uta just tell me he wanted to eat me?

* * *

 _ **Sorry for the long wait i hope you guys loved this finnaaaalllllly i am finished with section two of my plot outline the drama is gonna start rolling in ^^**_


	18. The Bad Part

_**Finally my life has some form of control in it and i can manage my time well now to write and update. This was originally to go up on Sunday since I try to upload every three days but to be honest I haven't been on edge as i used to...But! I won't give up since I have come a far way I won't forget when this was at chapter five and I only had five reviews- FROM THE SAME PERSON! and that person really motivated me to go and because of that passion I continue. Look forward to more on time uploading and I'm happy to be at this point of the story!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 18  
The Bad Part**

I clenched my fist looking at Uta as he stood opposite of me. I turned back to renji and nodded, my way of saying _I'm ready._

It has been almost a month since I awoke and so far it has not been stable. I'm not allowed to leave Renji's place. I thought that maybe it was because I was notoriously 'dead' but instead I was more like 'missing', and in Renji's word, immediately surfacing back to civilization wasn't the best move if by chance that ghoul was not acting alone. For the time being I would be laying low and staying one place.

Since Itori had gone back to work she wouldn't be at the apartment with me. So staying at renji under the supervision of both him and Uta would keep me under strong protection. Little by little I was learning more about ghouls as well. Things I never even knew!

"Kaisa-chan, focus." Renji said as he walked in the circle getting ready to attack as I went on defense.

What was happening now was what Itori and Uta had decided was needed. Training. This was my second ghoul attack and if it wasn't mere coincidence then I was probably being targeted and I needed to at least know how to defend myself just in case.

Renji striked aiming for my shoulder and I never even caught the glimpse of him when he moved. His hand halted millimeters from my body.

My heart was beating so rapidly in my chest my face immediately paled. My knees gave out beneath me and I fell to the grass as I clutched to my chest trying to breathe properly.

This always happens. I still can't control whatever fear is inside me.

"It takes time." Renji said as he kneeled down resting his hand on my shoulder and I immediately jolted.

I looked up at him. "s-sorry." I got up and ran inside passing Uta as I felt his eyes on me but I can't even look him in the face.

I curl into a ball hugging myself inside the living room while leaning against the wall. Languor runs on her small legs towards me purring as she rubs herself against my body. She treats everyone like this no exception for whether you're a ghoul or human.

After I woke up I was very glad to everyone, very happy to see the only people I had. But then I soon came to realize that following night when I went to sleep how traumatic the experience I had that placed me in the position I was in was. I had nightmares….every night.

They wouldn't stop and they were as vivid and clear as it was on that night. I would wake up screaming or in cold sweat and I wouldn't dare anyone to enter to room other than Itori. But it was worse than that, my nightmares never just came in my sleep at nights but because of them I had sleepless nights and when I trying to sleep during the day I would still have them.

What sort of curse was this; I couldn't close my eyes for more than three hours without waking up screaming. Having Uta on my mind was clearing out all of this from happening before. But now that I was able to see him and everyone I loved, it's like the wheels of tragedy resumed their slow and painful pattern just haunting me with every chance it got.

The dreams where so real. Sometimes it was as if I couldn't breathe while I was laying and one time Itori had to stop me from choking myself in my own sleep. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to pretend like nothing even happened. I was scared, no….mortified. I had a fear of ghouls and at the same time I was living amongst them.

"Hello."

I looked up to Uta. When did he even slip into the room? I hugged myself even tighter. I heard the sound of him shifting and when I looked up he had a brown bag in front of me nudging against my knee.

"…Uta…"

"If we want to eat you, we would have."

I blinked looking at him. My eyes burned with water, "I'm scared, I can't defend myself, I can't stop these nightmares, I-"

"Stop. Humans are so weak." he mumbled reaching out to stroke my face then poke my cheek almost like testing the softness of the flesh and skin. "But they are so interesting. I like them because they can be so strong," he said his eyes widening. "When it comes to feelings, this intangible thing, it becomes the strongest weapon, defensive and great."

There was a knock on the door then it creaked open and it was renji. He looked at me and then Uta. "tonight at 7."

The door closed and Uta looked back at me.

"What's happening tonight?" I asked curiously.

"Would you really like to know?"

I nodded.

"Feeding."

My stomach tightened. "Wi-will you be safe?"

"Safety? I thought you would ask about the human I will be eating."

I shook my head and leaned in hugging him. "It's your way of life I won't judge, just come back to me, both you and renji….cause….along with Itori…you guys are all I have"

"And the kittens." He said as I loosened my tight grip around him and looked at the man I had such strong feelings for staring dead into my face.

"I have bags, I know… so don't stare so intensively"

"I got these, sleep medications, and some vitamins and some anti-depressants." He said giving me back the brown bag and I took it.

Later that night I was in my room alone in the house. I felt so scared just being home alone. Uta comforting me letting me know the house was being watched but still without anyone here I was scared. I took my medications, I had a bath…I barely ate dinner and I had already spent more than three hours lounging in my bedroom.

I dialed Itori's number and paused looking at it on the screen. This would be the 7th time I would be calling her from work since the past two weeks begging her to come home and stay with me till I fall asleep because I was in fear of what happened once I closed my eyes.

I tapped the backspace swallowing as I curled into the bed. I miss my old lifestyle, I wished I was stronger to defend myself, maybe all this would not have happened. Maybe life would have been smoother I would have been happier and things would only be focused on Terel's recovery. Instead Terel recovery was not the only pressure but fear and suspicion that I was being hunted, my depression and anxiety rising to a critical level and me becoming such a weak and scared person.

My phone rang. The Caller ID was Uta.

His voice was so clear. "Good night Kaisa. Are you okay?"

I swallowed the gulp in my throat. I wanted him here beside me I was scared, so scared…I felt cold chills running up my back my hands were sweaty and shaky.

"Yes…"

The phone was silent for a while and as I blinked the tears streaked down my face.

"Are you crying now?"

"Y-Yes" I replied my voice cracking as I sniffled. I wanted him beside me.

"Try and be patient for a little while."

"Okay," I muttered pulling my legs to my chest why did I feel so weak. At night times I always felt this weak like I was being targeted by some unseen predator. Uta was still on the call and I could hear the distant sound of the city. I curled into a small ball before drifting off without even realizing it.

I jump out of my sleep breathing heavily as my room door creaks open and closes behind the tall frame whose hand reaches over to flip on the light in the darkness.

"Kaisa, its me."

I sit up in the bed looking at Uta who pulls off his jacket. He came over to the bed picking up my phone before taking out his. I watch him tap on the screens as he ends the call resting both phones on the night table.

I blinked. "You were connected the entire time?"

"Yes, I could hear you through the phone on my way here; I thought it would be easier to know I was somewhat here."

I nodded and scooted over a little in the bed. "Come and lay beside me." I said pulling the sheets away as he moved unto the spot.

"Sleep." He ordered.

I frowned. He was probably as concerned as Itori was. But would it be okay to let down my guard what if I do something crazy in my sleep?

"What if I do something crazy in my sleep, like choke you or hit you or scream or something." I mumbled as my hand moves under the covers and to his chest.

He shrugged but continued looking at me. I pecked him softly on the lips as I leaned in kissing him this time slowly and passionately.

It felt a bit one sided and just as it came to recognition almost like he sensed my realization of him not fully in the kiss he pulled away and snuggled me against his body.

"Sleep."

I bit my bottom lip and pushed away looking up at him. "You don't want to kiss me?"

"Kaisa."

I pouted and looked away feeling so embarrassed. MY boyfriend just gave me the cold shoulder, he basically rejected my act of affection. I turned around giving him my back there was no way I would let him see my pained expression after he did that. as a matter of fact there was no way I even wanted him in the bed next to me or even in this room!

I felt him pull me against his body locking me into his hold as a groaned trying to breakaway.

"S-stop"

"Don't be upset. I just rather you sleeping than doing that."

"Doing what?" I argued, "Doing an act of affection and care?" I pressed rhetorically as I felt his hands lock around my waist and I literally could not move. Ghouls were generally strong but I never expected to witness his strength like this in this position.

"I hold back because I care, Kaisa just, just sleep." he murmured.

"Stop, fuck. Why are you doing this I just…."

I sighed feeling my eyes getting heavier the pills were taking effect but I resisted because I refused to sleep.

I felt his hand gently stroke my hands that were on his around my waist and I could feel the sensation of him just laying there behind me.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled as his grip loosened when I pulled his hand to my face kissing it gently. "I'm really sorry, I'm being so difficult"

 _I don't want to fight._

"It's okay" he mumbled as his leaned even closer to me as I felt so assured and relaxed in his embrace.

When I opened my eyes I was still curled up against Uta. My body felt so well rested and it was the sound of pattering rain that shook me out of my sleep.

I sat up feeling Uta's grip on me completely loosen and when I turned around he was in bed half awake staring at me.

"Are you awake?"

"A little."

I smiled turning to him. "Uta, no nightmares…I slept like a rock."

"Did you now?" he questioned rising up a little only for all that black silkiness to fall and curl against his neck and shoulders.

"Oh, it's even sexier when its undone." I said without realizing as my cheeks flushed looking at him running his hand through his lightly messed-up hair. I removed the little hair pin at the front holding back some of the side bang out his eyes and watched the hair unveil in all its glory.

"Pleased?"

"Very," I mumbled sitting up completely facing him as I sat on my legs eagerly staring at my very good-looking boyfriend. "I've slept, do I get a well-deserved kiss now?" I asked looking at him. The air around us was so light. It almost- no….it is exactly like it was before this incident.

I stare even longer as he reveals his shirtless body which I have seen quite often but seeing it today when I wasn't sleep deprived or in panic mode made me feel really refreshed.

"Maybe." He mutters staring dead at me then suddenly pulls me towards him and topples me over and before I know it he is above me in the bed.

I waste no time as I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him down to my lips.

We continued and continued and continued and still continued until I felt my body getting far too overwhelmed and engrossed.

Whats so different? Usually I could hold out much longer! Was it the somewhat abstinence from the month or just weird morning urges? Maybe it was the hair! Even though I stopped kissing him and he is lying next to me staring at me point blank, I could feel it in his eyes almost like he was sending me the message.

"I want to fu-"

"I know. Me too." I intervened.

"You want to focus on getting back to normal as well?"

"huh- wait what?" I blinked a couple times dumbfounded.

"I thought you were going to say you wanted to…"

He looked at me a lost for a couple seconds before finally realizing and almost on cue I turned away my cheeks burning red.

"I just, with the mood and- don't judge me!" I defended grabbing the pillow smacking him with it. Oops. "s-sorry!" I squeaked looking at him nervously.

He held my wrist pulling me into an embrace.

I looked up from his chest and at his face looking down on me. This man really deserves more recognition than he gets for being so attractive.

"It's good to have you back." He said as he rubbed my hair twirling it around his fingers.

I blushed so much I literally felt I was going to have a nose bleed. I missed this adrenaline I had for him. Damn, most importantly….I missed him.

1 hour later

"Now- turn it now!" I yelled as I watched Renji take the spatula and turn to strip of meat in the pan. "Great! Seeeee even a ghoul can make bacon!"

Renji sighed scratching the back of his head looking at his failed efforts then the good one and then mine. "Its hopeless"

"Noooooo. It's progress….plus…your better than Itori who end up scraping the remained burn bits from her effort"

He smiled and I did as well as we had some small talk. We paused when I spotted Uta walking across the room dressed with his glasses on and a travel knapsack on his shoulder.

"W-where are you going."

"Heading to HySy. Need to see the shop and send off some order and start on some new ones."

"Will you be back tonight?"

"I wi-"

Languor pounced on his shoulder

"See even Langour doesn't want you to go~"

"Are you instigating I stay home. For you?"

I nodded my head flustered and all. Damn you Uta.

"My presence comes with a price."

"I'm willing to pay"

He leaned forward so closely I nearly stepped back. Instead I held my composure in movement but my expression remained startled.

"oh~"

I felt my cheeks getting red and I turned and walked away around to the kitchen counter behind renji. For some reason, I knew _exactly_ what was going through Uta's mind and I dear not even entertain it one bit!

"B-Be safe." I mutter getting red as a tomato while peeking from behind Renji. Whatever chastity I have is hiding behind renji with me as well!

"Without doubt." He hums leaving.

* * *

 _ **Don't forget to review follow and favorite~**_


	19. Troubleshoot

**Chapter 19**

 **Troubleshoot**

I opened the apartment door glancing around as I entered and closed it behind me quietly. I looked around smiling; I wanted to go to my room and lounge in my bed or even have a shower. It has been so long since I haven't been here. Or maybe I could go and start baking something just like the olden days or what about my art studio…when was the last I placed these fingers on a brush?

I curled in the sheets looking up at the ceiling. So little memories I had in this room but I treasured the few and hoped to make more. I don't intend to stay at Renji's forever; I miss my home and my life. Plus…today was the last day I could afford to stay away! I waited perfectly for no one to be around and sneak away take a cab and return to my paradise.

I rose up still content with my successful mission as I went to the door in my room that was adjoined to my art studio.

All the pieces neatly placed up. I looked around and everything was tidy and neatly aligned, cleaner than I know I left it. Suddenly a smile crept over my face. Itori doesn't clean…neither would Renji do something like this…only an artist can understand an artist's mess. Uta was here.

"You came to my house?"

"I check in regularly."

I grinned as I held the phone to my ear hearing the culprit on the other line.

"Thank you. You left so early this morning when I woke up you weren't there."

"I had to work."

"I know but- oh I left Renji's, I'm at home now."

 _Please don't eat my head off! Figuratively!_

"I know."

I paused.

"How?"

"Kaisa….doesn't matter, we know you left but we are hurt you did that behind our backs, what if we weren't aware and you got hurt?"

"I wouldn't have gotten hurt I chartered a government taxi and it dropped me right off at my apartment and there are security cameras everywhere, there are times your going to have to trust me on my own."

"I will accompany you wherever you go there is no need to go behind our backs."

I frowned. Who is going behind who's back if your going to be watching my every move!

 _Ding Dong_

I hung up the phone sighing as I walked to the door no way in hell would I become a person needing 24/7 surveillance. I had renji teaching me although that wasn't so….well. But he was just too fast and he was too good. I would need time to progress and by progress I mean to actually see his attacks coming.

"Excuse me, my name is Amon Koutarou from CCG. I'm a special class investigator I come in no harm I would just like to speak to you."

I blinked. CCG, never heard of th- aummm…..wait I did. They usually come on the TV, they were some anti-ghoul people. Either way I did not want to get myself involved.

"Excuse me Miss Teressi but we know you're here. I spotted you enter your building exactly 39 minutes ago."

I flinched. Speak about a prick in the ass- this guy was a stalker. "Do you have any proof that you are legitimate and are here for something important or related to 'serious' matters." I asked looking at him through the peep hole, this must be about my ghoul attack. He reached in his jacket putting his badge towards the peep hole if I was right in the movies it said it had to have that shiny thing on the side that shows legitimacy and that it was indeed of the government. Plus it didn't look fake. Okay good enough.

I opened the door standing looking at him.

"Oh, you look awfully different the photograph. May I enter?"

"Huh, what photograph- let me see?"

He handed me a photograph I used as my registration picture to enter university. I blushed like crazy, "T-T-This was when I never slept for a week and I had my wisdom teeth removed and I had a fever. I look like crap with this swollen face."

He smiled softly and looked around the hall outside then back at me. "May I come in?"

"O-of course…" I said stepping aside as he came in and as his frame passed mine. I spy a good built, muscular torso, thick thighs and strong biceps, Kaisa wants to touch. "Please remove your jacket, its warm inside, may I interest you in something to drink?" I asked looking at him as he rested the very big and sturdy brief case on the ground and removed his white long coat handing it to me. I have seen Renji in tight Ts and he was gullible and now for some reason seeing this man's body was like another dimension of sexy, his shirt buttons at his chest were suffering. I looked at him and blinked a couple times. Kaisa waaaants.

"Coffee would be great."

I smiled and hung his jacket walking to the kitchen leading him to the balcony that was more suited for whatever he had since I hadn't cleaned this place for nearly a month which meant it might be dusty and all.

15 minutes later I was resting the teacup in the saucer on the table.

"The view is astounding."

"Thank you very much for the compliment." I said as I sat down having a seat opposite of him taking a sip of my tea. It was a good thing I stopped at the grocery store and picked up some sugar coated crackers. Else he would just be getting coffee and that would be embarrassing.

"Okay, Miss Terresi where have you been residing since the incident."

"Aumm…" I swallowed looking at him.

"Oh," he looked at the papers he had before him. "Of course you would hesitate there were two incidents." he said as he wrote something on the paper and I looked away.

I actually hesitated because I was wondering if having him know I was at Renji who was a ghoul and giving away his address would lead to unwanted circumstances. I need to be quick witted right now I can't give myself away and put my friends at danger.

"After the first incident-"

"I changed locations from my old apartment and moved here with my best friend, who is safe and normal by the way."

I almost slapped myself in the face I was being too tense.

"Has the incident caused you any difficulties?"

"J-Just insecurities."

"I see. Miss Terresi you are one of a very small number of people who came in direct with ghouls and survived…well so long"

That's because I'm being protected by them.

"I understand."

"Well, the next is the second incident. You completely disappeared. We found no records of you lodged in any hospital, clinics or health center and this is suspicious due to the fact that on the scene there was a considerate amount of your blood showing that you received a very fatal wound. Where did you receive help and how, seeing that something resulting in so much blood loss would require someone of the medical field with high medical equipment to assist you."

"Well, my best friend, she thought it would be good to aumm, take matters in her own hand so we stayed at my uncle's and he is well adept with injuries so he gave me medical care."

"Uncle, Miss Teressi in your registry you are an orphan and you have no family or relatives in ties, are you lying to me? I will have you know that that would be a severe cri-"

"Of course not, my best friend- her family treats me like their own so her uncle...is like my uncle. It's like I was connected by blood if you know….what I mean…"

Fuck.

He gave me a stern look and ate another sugar cracker.

He was very intimidating but not so much since he kept eating the sugar coated crakers. I think he might like them….a lot.

"Is that…all?"

"It should be for now"

"For now?"

"We are putting you under strict CCG surveillance. I do hope you understand the position you are in. You have been attacked by a ghoul twice and survived. Not only that but you might be a lead to solve cases in which our organization is trying to solve.

"No I mean- you don't need to have surveillance on me I am a perfectly fine human being!" I said standing up the coffee spilling over unto Amon immediately.

"Oops! Umm…" I grabbed the napkin and literally ran over to him patting down his clothes holy fuck no did I just spill hot coffee on a ghoul investigator. These people walk around and kill ghouls which meant he probably had the strength to rip my head off my body. I looked up at his flustered face the coffee had spilled all over his face chest and some parts of his pants.

"I'm so so sorry it was an accident I will take full responsibility."

"No it was merely an accident-"

"No it's my fault, I'm clumsy and don't kill me with your hands or something," the minute it slipped out I looked up at him while I continued dapping him clothes with the napkin. "I mean it's not that your sca….ry"

Our eyes met and I continued blinked as I witness him blushing.

"I'm sorry, there is no need to get flustered or embarrassed it's my fault."

"No your hand…its….aum."

I looked down to see my hand on his groin.

Well wow Kaisa I do admit he has a good body and all but you never had to have it escalating so quickly. I moved away flustered as well.

"Your clothes will get sticky I can spin dry them for you very quickly you can go to the bathroom and clean up, even a shower since it was hot and I don't want you getting boils and then…..you return to kill me."

"I won't kill you." he said standing as he looked around. "The bathroom?"

"Straight down the carpeted hall 2nd door on your right and as you enter you will see a door on the left and you can shower there. Towels and everything are clean I will aumm….just leave your dirty clothes in the basket and I will clean them for you.

I cleaned up the balcony it was an utter sticky mess. I went in the room and I could hear the shower running. I sighed picking up the clothes he had in the basket that was outside the bathroom door and took them to the laundry throwing them in the washer.

He surely was taking his sweet time. His clothes were washed, spin dried and I even had the time to run the iron over the shirt. I also threw in the white coat in since it would look awkward with clean clothes underneath and a dirty white coat over it but then again I never knew if it was dirty but still.

After I left the clean clothes in the basket at the bathroom door I went to the kitchen and began washing up.

Uta should never know of this. I mean, what would he do if he found out I touched another man's err…..groin. I mean he wasn't the jealous type maybe he would just look at me blankly and say nothing or maybe….maybe he would get upset. But I can't imagine him getting upset he is usually so composed and doesn't seem fazed by the things around him.

But it would be nice if he got a little jealous maybe then he would see me as a woman and not a child in need of protection.

I turned off the faucet and wiped my hand in the dry cloth. I turned around nearly jumping out of my skin when I spotted Amon standing at the island looking at me.

"I didn't want to interrupt, you were deep in thought."

"huh- oh yeah…I was"

"I see why you are attacked. You're easily targeted."

"What?!"

"You were all open and even a robber could have entered the house without you realizing."

I blinked at him. "It's my door I would have heard…I'm not full of openings."

"But you didn't hear me enter the kitchen."

"That's different the floors are carpeted."

"So your only alert if the person makes a sound?"

"W-Well…maybe…I mean I probably…"I got embarrassed why was he even scolding me- this is my house!

"I have an offer."

"An offer? How are you even sure that I would accept."

"You did spill coffee on me and sexually har-"

" **Okay I accept**!" I said flustered as fuck. I am not a sex offender I did not sexually harass this official no way in hell! Plus it sounded like that could get me some serious time in prison.

"Take training and defense classes at our cooperation- it would keep you safer."

I blushed. Was he being nice why would he even care about my safety. "Are you concerned about my safety?"

"Why not you are my case (referring to him having responsibility over her case where she was attacked) and I wish for you to not be further a victim. You are also a good person seeing you allowed me to use your shower."

"Which you stayed in very long."

"It is a very nice shower."

I smiled. This guy is more than he looks. He is so scary looking and very intimidating with his body built but he turns out to be a very kind person.

"Okay I accept your offer, will you be the one teaching me?"

"No but I will pass a glance while your training."

I nodded.

I bid him off and closed the apartment door I felt like I found a new friend but I also felt like I liked him in some way. He had an air about him that I liked.

And I body I wanted to touch! Kaisa waaaants.

I called the university, apparently my classes ended a week earlier and as for my submission pieces I received an outstanding grade and an absent mark with a formal letter from the CCG that had explained the course of event that caused my absence. I was actually quite surprised. I only had two more months in the course anyways and I wasn't really sure I wanted to do the third year which was an advance year. The scholarship doesn't cover that and I wasn't interested. I believed I was good enough.

I called my business guy which was a first since we usually spoke through email but now we discussed how my work on the market was going.

By the time night had fallen I was waiting on Uta curled up in the couch.

A text came in at my phone that he had reached and I rose up going to the door opening it to see him standing with a plushy in his hand plus the shaven side of his head looked like it received some trimming up.

"Good night Kaisa."

"Is that for me?" I asked looking at the plushy taking it out his hand once he nodded and walked away hugging it. I heard him closing the door behind him.

"How was your day?" I asked going to the living room sitting back in the couch hugging my new bunny.

"It was okay. Was someone here?"

I rose an eyebrow. I looked at him as he looked around my place till our eyes finally met.

"Yeah a CCG investigator came here he asked me some questions regarding what happened."

"You allowed him inside here?"

"Y-yeah is something wrong?"

He looked around the place with sharp eyes. "Not really, his scent is strong."

"Oh well I accidently spilled coffee on him so he took a shower in my bathroom."

"Your bathroom"

"Yes"

He remained silent walking around the house as he went into a couple rooms returning shortly after. Okay now I'm nervous.

"Kaisa. Are you trying to make me jealous?"

I looked at him blinking. "W-What?"

Where was this suddenly coming from!

He moved to me taking the plushy out my hand and tossed it aside. He leaned over looking down at me.

"Allowing another man in your house, even to use your bath-"

"He was here to safeguard me, aumm- I mean- he was here to check my condition and ask me a few questions, the coffee was an accident." Holy shit he is the fucking jealous type. I swallowed sinking into the chair as he loomed over me he was so close and had a scary aura. "I'm yours, it's okay he didn't do anything, he was really kind."

He never replied instead he leaned over and kissed me as he pulled away and I blushed intensely what in the holy hell was that?! My body felt really funny as I covered my mouth embarrassed as hell.

"I'll have to see that on my own" He said looking at me.

"n-noo-noooooooo" I begged feeling the life starting to leave me as he took his hand running it lightly over my face.

"You leave the house behind my back. You invite a man into your house his scent looming out of every single room and Kaisa…you seem to be failing to understand how possessive I am"

….shit…I'm in some serious trouble now aren't I?


	20. Safety

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 20  
** **Safety**

I looked around- the place was huge. Very huge. I had contact Amon regarding his offer and now I was scheduled from three-thirty to six every Tuesday and Thursday and here I was five minutes after three at the front desk with my gym bag on my shoulder.

Itori was against this and Uta already didn't like the idea I only apologized to Renji though since I never wanted it to look bad on all the time and efforts he had been putting in in training me.

Itori on the other hand was against this full stop and very furious but I was stern with her well, more like stubborn- cause I really wanted to go I wanted to do the training and actually learn to defend myself maybe even after this was done I could go to Renji for extra but right now it was main priority that I do go to CCG. Uta made an interesting point stating that doing the training could also make me less suspicious. After being attacked by ghouls twice and being offered the chance to prevent it from occurring again which human would truly refuse that. That was the truth and maybe me being a part of this and taking part would eliminate them getting deep and personal in my life and finding out the truth, I was also doing this for them.

"Hi- It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh- the pleasure is mine…" I muttered looking away. Before me stood this well-built thick looking man with an odd haircut but had a very friendly personality. He was indeed friendly since he has been continuously talking but he is my trainer I guess he just wants to build that….bond.

"My name is Shinohara Yukinori and I'm a Special Class Investigator and a Former Academy Instructor"

"Former Academy…as in a school?"

"A school where investigators get trained before they come to the organization, I used to be a combat instructor but instead of training them to come on the field ahhhh- you can say I decided to put my skills to work, but that was many years ago probably before you were born hahaha!"

I blinked. He is very and extremely friendly.

"Well I love my job and I do it with a passion."

"I understand. Umm you and Amon-san seem to have well- the same Special Investigator title, I don't really understand how it works but-"

"Oh- do you not know about our organization levels?"

"A-Actually the only thing I know is that you guys are anti ghouls."

He smiled and began telling me everything from scratch basically what they are and what they do. I was surprised. I saw them on the TV and I even knew a little one and two stories about them but gosh these people were dangerous!

"B-But, what about the ghouls, I mean your aim is to terminate them but aren't they humans as well?"

"They are no longer human the minute they are a ghoul-"

"But they feel pain like we do, they look like we do, they breath air, walk, talk and sleep like we do…isn't that just a bit cruel."

He looked at me and his eyes softened and he smiled. "There are indeed ones like you. But I believe they are as you say but they murder and kill people and that is a crime."

"It is a way of life. That is how they eat. Like I mean I have no place to judge but you guys are acting like Adolf Hitler to the Jews and the Europeans to the Africans what you are doing is no different than Holocaust or Slavery you are oppressing them for their way of life."

"I like you. I really do. You say many interesting stuff." He said smiling.

I blushed and walked closer to him as he held the pads in his hand and against his chest.

"You defend them in the same manner almost as if you know them, yet don't forget you were attacked by their kind and that's why you're here okay?"

I nodded. He did have a point. Some are evil and some are nice but still no regular human being is perfect.

"Now you're going to hit these as hard as you can."

Thirty-minutes later I am so frustrated and so exhausted this man surely lives up to being a Instructor since I basically am on the ground panting like crazy.

"Here have some water." Shinohara said giving me a bottle of refreshing cool water. Water absolutely never tasted so good. I exhaled heavily after drinking some sitting on my rear crossing my legs and looking around the training room. It looks like the typical gym, Shinohara is on his cellular phone and from the glass I can see people walking up and down and I look at the other training equipment. Hey I wanna go on the bicycle thinge!

I go on it and start pedaling looking at the information on the screen.

"Ahh Miss Terresi a smart choice to build the muscle in legs."

"Thank you, aumm…is everything okay on the phone, you seem…bothered."

"Not bothered just concerned. It's my partner he has seemingly gotten in some trouble."

"Is it bad trouble, is he going to get fired?"

"No, but he will be coming here and straight here since he is too much of a handful." Shinohara- san said. He did look bothered and concerned at the same time. His partner seemed like a hassle it made me wonder what type of guy he was.

"I'm here~" A teenage voice said as a white-haired boy ran through the door like a plane and twirled in the center of the room he stopped gesturing an interesting gaze with his finger on his lip looking at me. "Who are you?"

"Who are **you**?" I replied getting off the bicycle machine and towards him. He was short and I was a little just a little taller than him. He had cute white soft-looking hair big wide eyes his skin was a bit pale and he had some stitching all over him from what I could see. He was in a white dress shirt and a three-quarter pants with suspenders.

"I'm Suzaya Juuzou, Rank 3 Investigator." He said smiling brightly. He had such an adorable smile. No….I must fight it- I have to….no I can't he's too damn adorable with his subtle cute looking face and adorable innocent smile. But if I remember correctly Rank 3 meant you were recognized for your skill and you were selectively working underneath a special class maybe as training or as back up. Thank you Shinohara now I have better understanding.

"Kaisa Terresi, I'm a human in training for defense."

He gave me a surprised expression. " If Shinohara is training you you're going to become strong!"

"Really?" I asked looking at Shinohara who was standing beside us smiling.

"Yup. Plus you're really pretty aren't ya. That must be great~" He said smiling kindly.

I leaned over close to his height grinning. "Well you're pretty adorable yourself. Very handsome." I teased. I suddenly realized I was picking up Uta's teasing habits. No Kaisa don't become a teasing demon like him.

Suzaya expression suddenly fell. He tilted and before I realized his lips met mines I pulled away blushing like crazy and surprised as hell- this kid.

"Yaaaay I kissed a pretty girl!" he yelled smiling as he looked at me. "Wait….are you upset." He asked pouting.

"Yes, I am- and because of that I'm not going to give you the chocolate I was planning to share with you."

"Wahhhhhhhhh no I want the chocolate." He said his eyes beaming.

"I'll think about it."

"No fair."

"Hey enough let her think about it. Okay Miss Terresi go to that machine and start pulling the levers while sitting, as for you…come here."

I blinked and walked over to the lever sitting down and began pulling. After about the 20th pull I was feeling some serious ab pain. It hurt like fuck.

"Nope, continue all the way to 60." Shinohara said witnessing my expression.

"Six-Sixty!" I responded in disbelief. He gave me a stern look and I began pulling. When I hit sixty my hands felt like spaghetti.

I rose up and with weak legs walked halfway then fell down flat on my back. I am unfit. I am so unfit. No…I knew I wasn't the size 3 and the slimmest thing out there because I have a little flabby arms not to mention a little case of stomach fast I can't lay my hands off cakes and muffins for God sake they were too damn delicious blame them not me for I am merely the consumer.

I think I lost 30 pounds though. The thought alone gave me the strength to get up and go to the scale as I stood on the computed mass identifier what a classy name. Still a scale at the end of the day but here goes.

It was 143.38 kg and now after my two pounds a day work out it is…

"…143.37…..I burned 0.01 kg…after all that….."

A hand suddenly rested on the scale. I felt the presence but my eyebrow had an uncontrollable fit as I recalled the punching, the push-ups, the bicycle riding, the ab cruncher and the other abdomen stuff.

0.01 kg.

"143.37 kilograms that's a weight that-"

"FALCON PUNCH!" I yelled as I hit the man beside me in the face. "Never look at a woman's weight!" I yelled as I pointed at him with the glaring power to kill. Not only Uta but Itori has been rubbing off on me as well.

The man raises up wiping his nosebleed and once he looks at me I realize it was actually Amon.

"I'm so sorry! I- you came up suddenly- I mean as a female it kind of triggered."

He chuckled wiping his nose with the handkerchief from his back pocket he wasn't in his white coat today. "It's okay I'm surprised you landed a hit I guess I let down my guard around you. At least I know your training isn't going in vain."

"Well that move was something I actually had up the sleeve from before but if it relates to today's training you can say that." I said smiling.

"It seems every time we meet I end up getting hurt." He says looking at the blood smeared handkerchief. I took it from him and wiped it properly this guy was probably around the same hieight as Uta or maybe a bit taller.

"Maybe we should switch the tables."

"No- ouch- I rather be the one receiving the pain."

I smiled and pulled away luckily I never broke his nose. Itori taught me that move but I'm sure if it wasn't for that lever pulling thing that made my arms spaghetti his nose would have been broken which was the aim of that punch.

"You guys seem awfully close." Shinohara-san says coming towards us smiling. "Although it would be good for a man like you Amon to court a woman this early. While in this profession you never know what can happen."

I wasn't really fazed by that but Amon's reaction was rewarding as he blushed.

"N-No way I couldn't I mean Miss Teressi is- well she is, but its strict business!" he looked away and I smiled.

"No Kaisa belongs to me!" Suzaya said running before me. "Don't ya?" he asked looking up at me.

The remaining minutes I spent some stretches packed up and got ready to go home. The minute I messaged Itori she informed me she would be home and I shouldn't let any of the CCG agents inside the house. I was driven home and escorted to my floor. I thanked the two males who were with me and walked to my apartment entering and closing the door locking it safely.

"Gosh I'm so happy you're okay." Itori says hugging me tightly for what seemed like the 5th time but I didn't mind it felt good being comforted by her and I enjoyed her presence, it was…relaxing. "For once I will give those slaughtering assholes the recognition for their existence."

"Because I came home safe?"

"Yes." She said squeezing my hand. Renji rested a cup of coffee on the table before us since we were curled up in the couch I didn't even realize he was here.

"Thank you Renji."

"Your welcome."

He sat down in the couch opposite of us. Itori began scribbling on a paper as I was about to speak but Renji put a finger over his lips signaling for me to say nothing.

Okay….so no talking?

She picked up the paper showing me it said 'play along'.

I immediately put one and one together.

"Well get out of those clothes and go have a warm shower. I'll cook your favorite."

My mouth literally dropped. Did Itori said 'cook' and 'I' in the same sentence. I am in disbelief.

Once I'm done I re-entered the living room to see them sitting and talking. I even went as far as washing my hair. My first work out made me very sweaty- don't judge me.

"So they might have bugged me."

"Maybe. Seeing you as a target they want to know what goes on with and around you."

"Wow….that's kind of invasive."

"Yes. Now according to the name of people you gave us….damn Kaichi chan you had to find the hardest ones didn't you. Baka"

"Eh?"

Renji pulled up a thick folder opening it removing three stapled files dropping them on the glass table.

"The three investigators," Itori began sipping blood from a wine glass I had forgotten that what she was drinking was never outdated and well preserved red wine but blood, human blood. But I think that explained the cloudiness it had. "Amon is a new uprising sharp-edged investigator someone with experience, and by that I mean a ghoul like probably Renji or Uta would probably face and promisingly defeat."

"Are you saying Renji and Uta are weak?"

"No, I said promisingly. Meaning that they would definitely defeat them but with a long drawn out and difficult fight."

I nodded. I knew Renji wasn't weak I felt it in the nature he had but neither was Uta he was mysterious but something about him made him seem sharp almost like he could end you as he pleased but instead curiously watched you.

"Shinohara has been in the game long enough to put up a good fight his combat is not as stong as Renji but he is rumored to withstand the strongest ghoul called One Eye King. Lastly the Suzaya, the fact that he did a horrible number on ghouls ruthlessly attacking shows he is a child with a lot of tricks and mystery."

"So…."

"You have strong investigators around you…"

Renji removed the last staples papers from the folder and handed it to me. I began reading and flipping through.

"Aogiri tree. This organization is a group of ghouls said to be leaded by the One Eyed King we don't know exactly how true that is but," she took another sip from her wine. "Many rumors tread the lines of one main message; you never want to become a target of theirs."

I swallowed. That sent chills up my spine and for the first I felt truly terrified.

"I don't understand what are you saying…why are you telling me this…why are they added to the folder."

Itori looked at Renji then sighed. "I'm tight on information, which means I get to know what's streaming through my side of the world. That's somewhere no human wants their name popping up. And today- yours did. In my bar…and it wasn't me."

I blinked.

 _What?_

Uta, Itori and Renj were the only ghouls I know. How do I know other ghouls, how is it possible that they are even talking about…me?

"A worker from Aogiri Tree apparently was assigned to a team to watch you."

I rose up completely alarmed. I was escorted home today so I wasn't even watching to see who was following me I was in a damn car! What about where I lived does he/she even know where I live?!

"Relax, don't panic." Renji said as he moved to me and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Kai-chan it's okay. Your not being followed. That mission doesn't exist anymore."

I turned to her. "what you just said-"

"He's already dead." She sipped a sip from her 'wine' as she finished the glass resting it on the table. "What I'm saying is-"

Renji stopped her and I turned to me. I felt water welling up in my eyes I really felt scared right now.

"What she is saying is that right now some very dangerous and notorious people are targeting you. We don't know why, but they have you as a target that possibly needs to be eliminated. You have been attacked twice by ghouls either of them could have been a lead to this organization trying to get to you from before and failed to do so."

I nodded. "W-Well what do I do? Should I allow CCG to take complete custody of me, should I go back to Renji's place and go into hiding…should I disappear? I'm not going to lose you guys right, you guys know you're all I have right?" I turned to Itori tears streaking down my cheeks as I looked at her. "I don't want to lose you I don't want to be alone and I really don't want to die. Y-you can't let them catch me."

She pulled me towards her wrapping her arms around me as I buried my face in her chest I was so scared right now it was just one thing after the other. From the assault, to the amusement park and then to this…I'm on some hit-list.

"For now we will work undercover. We will deal with your protection from the shadows but we need you to play along with CCG. Whatever you do always be careful, always carry a knife, look at anywhere before you go there and anything before you use it and never talk to strangers and…." She ran out of words. She stared at me blankly and I saw it in her eyes the rising tides of sorrow and uneasiness.

There was a knock on the door and Renji got up to go to it.

"Also there is something you should know."

"What?"

"Uta-"

"What's wrong is he okay?!"

"No he is fine. It's just Uta is a strong target of CCG….They have been targeting him for years. Despite donning a different hairstyle & color, clothing, and mask, location and lifestyle… the CCG was still able to identify him …..because of this….you won't be able to be seen with him….not on the road and not going to his studio. It would lead harm for him and harm for you. The crime of a human interacting with a ghoul is death do you understand me?"

I nodded. Almost on cue from around the corners I saw renji enter the living room and then Uta. My heart basically sunk when I saw him and my hand covered my mouth I felt like I was going to cry hysterically. I don't want to lose him just seeing him now knowing I wouldn't be seeing him at all for some good time made this pain in me unbearable. I got out the couch and ran to my room I couldn't even look at him.

Why were these people targeting me what did they want.

Why are they trying to kill me?!

My room door creaked open and I moved the plushy away looking at the door to see him closing it behind him. It had been some time since I came in the room. He maybe heard it all from the beginning down to the very last point about all that happened and is going on. Even though I sent him that text message that I sent renji and Itori as well, I knew he might have been inquisitive about what happened.

The bed sank under his weight and his hand caressed my thighs. His awkward way of concern?

"I don't want to lose you." I muttered sitting on my legs and leaning over against him resting my head on his shoulder my face buried in his neck. "I know it's silly and it might sound corny but I have a serious attraction to you, I don't want to lose you..."

Because I was crying my voice cracked a lot during saying all that but still it took a lot just to put it into words before thinking about the sound.

I inhaled softly taking in the scent of his body that I loved so much. The leather, the blood, the paint, the plastic…it all mixed together with the strong hinge of masculinity to give an earthy addictive scent. The scent of him.

"You're not the only one who feels that way." He replied as I sat up looking at him, staring into his face almost like I was searching for the strength I knew I never had. His fingers laced between mine and gave my hand a firm grip and I looked down, I closed my eyes…I never had the strength within me but maybe, maybe I had it around me. In the people I had by my side to love and support me.

Yet like every blissful dream that has a beginning. There must be an end.

The next morning when I woke up I turned in my empty bed not to find him after we had fallen asleep together with his arms around me. Before I had the time to even reminisce about the past I could only fathom the reality that this was the first step of him being gone. I refused to call it a break up. I refused to.

Instead I accepted the coldness reality gave me just reminding me of the position I was in, telling myself it was for the greater good, to protect me and to protect him. Yet I wanted him here, I wanted to see him looking at me without anything to say, to see his deep alluring eyes staring into mine searching for answers I couldn't provide. To find him lethargically looking at me or our glancing meeting when we felt like looking away from whatever we were doing. Whether it was his teasing or his silence even both in one, I wanted it.

* * *

 **Long awaited Chapter 20. I'm spending my time going over my chapters doing the grammar checks and small edits. I did surgery so im glued to my bed i have the free time and trust me I have no idea how you guys were reading through sooo muchh grammar errors...so embarrassed /. And im sure even this chap has a few. I am searching for a Beta Reader...a dedicated good one. As for me...i am slowly falling into writer's block. Now i shall re-watch tokyo ghoul and re-birth my perverted passion for Uta so I may continue -humbly bows-. Please Follow, Favorite and Review.**

 **P.S (Am I the only person losing interest in the second season of the Tokyo Ghoul manga. it's getting so dran out and im getting confused :( too much fighting!)**


	21. Frustration

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **So relieved to put this one out. Congrats to hitting over 20 chapters! Thank you all my readers for you time and dedication :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 21  
Frustration**

Today I went training again. After sending messages to Uta he hasn't responded once. It has been three days.

When I brought the fact he hadn't responded to Itori she just looked at me and frowned.

"Don't take technology lightly; probably they have synced every call and text to see who you're speaking to on the other end."

I never even expected them to go that far.

I opened the door to go grocery shopping but there was a CCG officer at my door and as soon as it opened he looked at me.

"A-Am I allowed to go grocery shopping?" I asked nervously. He had a gun and he also had a briefcase. I knew what those briefcase were but what was the point of the gun. From what Uta told me in the past that they were able to regenerate from a fatal wound and it crucially depended on their strength.

He nodded and I closed the door locking it securely. He opened his phone muttering something and as we walked away I spotted an actual police officer walking to my apartment door standing up on watch. I felt my heart sink even more. It's like I'm on prison watch. When I was leaving the house Itori was putting on a new look which I supposed was to lead suspicion from her. Now she had bright blue eyes and short blonde hair. Her face also looked a bit difference but no surprise since I've seen very human looking mask at Uta's place so I was sure he had something to do with that.

At the grocery store I picked up some regular stuff, flour, sugar, juices, bread, and eggs. I ensured to pick up a lot since I never knew when I would be able to come here again. I walked pass the grocery store Renji and I had met and went to a better and more convenient one further down. Hard to say I didn't go alone.

I was driven back to the apartment with all my bags which two other guys helped me with I was glad for the first time that they were actually there.

Other than that they just came off as jail cell watchers.

When I returned to the apartment Itori was already gone not even a note or anything to say that she would be coming home at x time to do whatsoever. Did this also mean I couldn't talk with Renji, what about our children? Our kittens?

I packed out the grocery filling the cabinets and stuffed the fridge with food and everything. I decided to bake some treats since I looked at the time and realized I only had two hours till training. I knew exactly who I was making pastries for too.

I picked up my phone checking the message screen. I knew what Itori said was true but I still wanted to hear from him.

 **I want to see you.**  
 **1:52:38**  
 **MESSAGE SENT**

I held the phone to my chest I wanted to talk to him so badly. With what happened three nights ago, with what took place…I really…really wanted to talk to him. Plus, call me greedy I also wanted him to hold my like that again.

I continued whisking the thoughts of last night clouding my mind. When would I meet him, when would I see him again.

Why the fuck was Aogiri Tree after me? Because of them I now couldn't see him!

* * *

"Miss Terresi you look better than I thought you would have been." Shinohara said smiling as I came through the glass door entering the gym. I spotted Suzaya raising off the stool and running to me smiling.

"Did you bring chocolate?" he asked smiling as he looked up at me with big eyes filled with anticipation. I reached in my bag taking out his treat of chocolate balls dropping in his hands.

"Better than chocolate…its chocolates. And I made them." I said forcing a smile.

He grinned even wider as he took the bag and began eating it.

"He is going to love you even more. Yesterday after you left he asked when you would be back. He might not look it but he is really excited to see you." Shinohara-san said as Suzaya sat on top of a machine leaning over dangerously and swinging his feet while eating his chocolate.

He's not normal is he?

"I don't mind. I know how rewarding it feels at time when someone cares about you and treats you for who you are." I said smiling at him Uta suddenly crossing my mind. "Aummm, can we please begin."

"Of course no problem."

"Oh yeah- ahh….here is your gift." I said handing him some muffins I made along with a small marble. If I recalled correctly he was married and I gave enough so he could bring home.

"Thank you very much I am grateful- I never even knew you could bake!" he said taking his bag of treats as he walked over resting them on the table.

Training that day was not as hard as the first but I had a few aching muscles. We went a little over the time but I didn't care. I never really had much going home to anyways.

Probably Itori but definitely not Uta.

After I finished training I went to the shower room I was way too sweaty and dirty to head home like this. I stripped and entered the bath showering and getting myself clean. Once I was done and returned to the gym I realized it was minutes to 8, that's a dangerous time to be heading home but I'm sure those guys are waiting to drop me home anyways.

"Miss Terresi, I'm surprised your still here." Amon said after I had said goodbye to Shinohara and Suzaya who left the room earlier. I was merely sitting down checking my phone for any new messages from Uta.

"Oh- yeah umm….just relaxing and getting ready to leave- it's actually good that I saw you I made this for you it's kind of….an apology gift for hitting you yesterday." I said the treats coming to my mind as I began shuffling through my bag. Luckily Suzaya never saw this cause if he did he might complain about why Amon's bag of treats was basically bigger than his and Shinohara- san's put together. But Amon was sort of special.

"Oh." He mumbled walking to me taking it and opening it and looking at the pastries. I blinked as I watched him take a sugar cracker and munched on it and then another….and then another….and then even another one.

"I….I realized your actually fond of aumm….sugary stuff so everything in there is sugar but aside from the sugar crackers and the blueberry sugar-coated donuts the other stuff have sugar from fruits which is better for your body. Cause I know you do this work that requires a lot of body strength so it's good you stay healthy." I said watching him eat his tenth sugar cracker if not more since I lost count after the seventh one. Change fond to obsessed…this could be a secret addiction.

It's like watching Suzaya all over again who ate everything off the moment he got it.

"Save some for when you reach home." I ordered looking at him surprised.

He blushed lightly. "My apologies these are nice sugar crackers." He said closing the bag. He took off his sweater and went over to the lifting machine, lying on his back and began lifting some weights.

"Do you exercise in the nights?" I asked walking over to him watching him lift 100 pounds.

"Every day. I have to maintain my fitness." he said continuing to lift. I didn't even need to look too hard at his body since the thin shirt he was wearing rested on the frame of his chest and torso every muscle showing so perfectly. Not to mention his arms as the muscles tightened and relax with over lift.

 _Control Kaisa control!_

"Amon-san, how long would I need to be under this watch?"

"Well, until you are safe. It's important that you are safe at all cost until we know they aren't after you anymore."

"Are you going to bug my apartment, my phone, track me everywhere I go and intervene with every personal aspect of my life?" I asked suddenly without even realizing it. He sat up resting the weights aside and looked at me.

"Actually those steps have to be taken but with your knowledge of course."

I looked at him and looked down on my lap. "I think I'm losing the relationship I have with my boyfriend."

Whoa- holy crap what is going on with my emotions right now? I swallowed beginning to speak with myself as I came to conclusion that I was probably in more pain than I expected knowing the man I wanted was beyond my reach. He was avoiding me. And I was losing him.

I looked up to see his expression which was blank but it softened to a concerned look. "Why is the relationship ending?"

"Well I wouldn't want to use the word ending. It's just; I might not be seeing him very often"

"We won't intervene with someone so close to you so you may see him."

"It's more than that he's a-" I paused, "he's a very busy person."

"Are you lonely- I mean…..loneliness is sometimes good for the human mind but if it's unbearable…you can always speak to me, I am your friend." You gave me snacks." He said looking at the treat bag he then looked at me blushing lightly.

So food- no…sweets were the way to his heart. Mental note.

"Okay, when I make pastries I will-"

"Call me. You should. I like sugary stuff."

I smiled, "I realized."

When I reached home that night it was minutes to ten. Amon and I stayed talking and he was the one who dropped me home.

When I went to the apartment it wasn't empty. I could hear Itori in her shower. I rushed to her room entering the bathroom to see her in the shower rinsing her body. I noticed the blemish of red gathering at her feet and slowly going down the drain. I'm guessing she hunted.

"I miss him."

"Kaichi!" she stepped out the shower wrapping in the towel. "Don't enter while I'm showering!"

"I've seen you naked many times I don't care!"

"B-B-But…..I'm a growing girl I need my privacy~" she said blushing embarrassed and all.

"Shut up pig chest!"

She flinched. Oh…..maybe I went a bit too far. She sniffled. Okay so I attacked her ego.

I swallowed. "I'm sorry, I never….meant to make you feel-"

"It's okay it's not your fault you're a **flat board** with **no sex appeal** and an **art obsessed virgin** it's just the way life is, and my voluptuous and erotic body has to pay the price of just being awfully beautiful."

My eyebrow twitched.

"You bitch."

She gave me a proud grin. This bitch.

"This flat board so happens to have a little ass and I do have some breast it's a B cup but it's there! And I do have sex appeal at least I don't have to flaunt my breast to get attention and this art obsessed virgin had sex so shut up you flabby bitch. I curse your chest with gravity-may they become flabby sacks!"

She growled. "My breast do not sag you- wait say what about sex?"

I froze. Oh yeah.

"You never told me this."

"Sorry. Umm…it happened ha-ha." I suck at lying.

"Howwwwwwwwwwww"

I blushed. "W-What do you mean by how- don't you usually just push it in and move back and forth- is there any other way?! Oh my god you're making me flustered!" I said walking out the bathroom I could hear her footsteps behind me.

"D-Did you use protection?!"

"Huh, I don't know…I was really into it so I never had the time to think about stuff like that it happened already." I said laughing uneasily why was I blushing I can't even fuck myself to fuck someone to even save my fucking life I will nose bleed the minute skin to skin takes place.

"What do you mean?! You know you could get pregnant right?! Even though the baby would die, and STIs and HIVs aren't you the OCD person."

"I…Actually….."

"Oh My God….who the hell fucked you"

I paled.

My ego…my fucking ego. Am I not even seen in the sexual light? My soul liquefied as I walked slowly.

"Whoa I never meant it like who fucked you I meant like who is the guy- it can't be Uta… **he was warned.** And you barely dated before that so this happened without my knowledge"

I flinched. "I lied I lied. I never did….and it's not Uta….it no one." I confessed plopping into her bed as I pulled my legs to my chest. "I haven't even heard from him….he doesn't call or text."

"I understand it's the situation with your phone. Call him with mine you idiot" she said puffing her cheeks as she handed me the phone and began getting dressed.

I called his number and it rang for a while until he picked up.

"Uta..."

There was silence on the other end then suddenly the call disconnected.

"He hung up on me…" I muttered in disbelief. Itori walked over to me and took the phone out my hand as I stood there in shock. He really picked up the call I know he did and when I spoke there was silence….then he hung up.

"Maybe you're being a little clingy; give him time and some space."

I turned to her and sighed. I really felt defeated for some reason because he honestly picked up…and then hung up.

"Umm did you go hunting tonight?" I asked trying to change the topic.

"Actually…we both went hunting tonight, Uta and I." She replied looking at me with a saddened expression.

"Oh," I murmured walking out her room. It's no use…the conversation went right back to him.

"Kaichi~ I can't manage seeing you like this!" Itori said grabbing my shoulders turning me to her. "I know it's not easy but you have to bare it. He is trying to make it traceless as if he doesn't even exist. You have to understand he is doing this more for you than he is for himself." She added looking at me.

"Wait, did he- did he say that?"

"No it's- it's just obvious. If he never cared he would be here right now like he usually is but think about it. With you having full attention from CCG if they find out you know someone as notorious as Uta and not only are you affiliated with him but you share an intimate relationship. Your death penalty will be at your door faster than you expect."

"But I don't like that! Why couldn't I be a ghoul, like you- I which I was like you?" Itori stared at me blankly and I looked back at her. I felt the inside of me curling and tugging on all corners of my body, I felt like I was going to be sick. I really wanted to see him and I wanted this situation to end. "Itori…"

I witnessed the tears streaking down her face as she turned away. What- what just happened?

"Itori, I'm sorry…did I say something mean."

I held her hand my fingers lacing in hers as I stood there watching her wipe the tears from her face. Honestly this is the first time I've seen her cry.

"Sorry ahhh," She turned to me smiling softly. Wow she's really pretty; then again right now instead of her physical appearance I needed to focus more on exactly what was going on in her heart. Her emotions.

"Itori I'm sorry if I said anything hurtful. I never intended to make you cry and because of that I'm really sorry."

"You never did anything wrong, it's more surprising that's why I cried. Never had I heard a human say they wish they were a ghoul; ghouls who have always lived in the dark under deception and misconception, away from the human eye. We always wanted to live the lives you had, to not be able to hide, to actually be a part of what you call….society."

"Don't say that, don't you dare say that!" I said looking her in the eyes. "You are a part of society, you're a part of **my** society, you are in **my** life and that says a lot. If no one wants to accept you, I will, I've known you nearly all my life and a month ago or so I discovered you're a ghoul and look…nothing has changed. We still laugh together, we still live together….nothing-has-changed. And it never will."

She smiled at me and pinched my cheeks.

"Kaichi you're so adorable when you're upset."

"Nuuu stop that hurts," I fussed pushing her hand away. "I'm not upset I just really care about you." I said puffing my cheek looking away. Now I felt a little embarrassed at the things I said still I wanted to make it clear, nobody makes her cry, not even me.

I looked up at her and she was still looking at me with those soft eyes making me feel all mushy inside.

"What….d-don't you have work tonight?"

"No…but you know I want to hug you so come for it."

I pouted and walked into her embrace resting my face on her pillow chest. Pillow chests are awesome. The warm fragrance of vanilla and rosemary entering my nose as I hugged her back feeling really comfy.

"Kaichi lets have movie night."

"Eh- say what?"

"Let's have movie night, let's watch movies and eat popcorn."

"O-Okay…"

That night we stayed up watching scary movies. And of course watching scary movies always makes me alert. While I'm flinching and cowering behind Itori in the couch she is laughing and enjoying it to the fullest.

The next day at training Shinohara taught me some new moves. Defensive attacks and how to paralyze your opponent. The last 30 minutes we spent in meditation doing breathing exercises helping me to be aware of how to control my breath which calms my heart since keeping composure and taking control of your body was something essential when facing a ghoul so that you can focus on escaping rather than the panic you face from the fear of going to be attacked or eaten.

"Shinohara-san, can I ask you something about ghouls?" I asked once we were finished and we began packing up. Suzaya didn't come today because he was under punishment for something rude he had done.

"No problem, ask away!"

"Aumm, if you were in a position where there was a newborn ghoul, in other words a baby, who hasn't killed a human as yet…just being born…would you kill it."

He looked at me for a minute and then looked around the room almost like he was searching for an answer. "Miss Terresi are you asking me- or the CCG."

"The CCG."

"Then I believe they would take it into custody, the infant wouldn't survive it's a baby and it needs to be fed. It can't eat human food but it would need to be nurtured by the mother, I guess it will lead to eventual death."

"So technically, killing it."

"….yes."

"Oh," I replied looking away but then I turned back to him curiously, "b-but what if it were you, what if you were the one that found it?"

"W-Well….it depends…if the mother was there. To be honest I wouldn't kill that child. It's too young to be given death so early and it hasn't committed any crime."

Shinohara is a good guy. If it was me I wouldn't kill the baby either. But maybe this was the answer I wanted to hear.

What was really the purpose for ghouls who killed to survive and the purpose for those who killed from hatred? What was the purpose of killing them? What was the source of their crime?

What made them murderers and at them same time- unjustified their invulnerability to starvation?

* * *

 **This chapter was so hard. It was basically difficult. Please leave your reviews below. They are greatly enjoyed!**


	22. Pre-Encounter

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Major plot twist. Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 22  
Pre- Encounter**

I walked down the sidewalk boastfully as I burned with anger. Two weeks Uta and you dare to not even call me of anything. I have been avoiding asking Itori since lately about you but you disappeared even from her sights. Today I was going to turn the tables with you. Let you know that two can play the game.

I opened the door of the HySy as I heard the shuffling on the other side. I stole some clothes from Itori going a bit undercover. I left my phone in the apartment; I literally had a handbag of chips and some intimate stuff. Just in case my plan worked. Plus the handbag was the one I stole from Itori's clothing line borrowing her business classy look that matched the 5 inch heels, a pencil tight high way skirt and a tucked in dress shirt with my hair combed over to one side and a pair of big sexy sunglasses.

Almost like he knew it was me he leaned against the door his hands folded over his chest as he looked at me.

"You picked up my scent right?" I said with a small smile recalling one of the many skills of a ghoul.

"Kaisa why are you he-"

"You like my disguise? The look actually fits me."

"You're ignoring me."

I turned around resting my bag on the counter and removed the glasses. "You know, I miss you. A lot." I looked back around looking at him. "You know, it's so hard to not have you with me." I mumbled feeling my face get a little warm.

He looked around the store sighing deeply running his hand through his hair. He was working and I could see it. I spotted the table behind him with some dyed leather and stuff maybe he was sewing a mask or tailoring an old one either way I wasn't surprised if these past few days he was drowning himself in work.

"You can leave now. I'll have a cab bring you back to the ap-"

I pressed my lips against his grabbing his sweater gripping it in my fist as I held on tightly keeping his mouth against mine. I pulled away looking into his eyes.

"Don't reject me, don't push me away." I whispered mesmerized in his gaze. "I did all this for you, undercover and making this daring move, I was with Itori and we have been together for years, I am filled with enough conviction and deserved to be killed just by knowing her -what difference will you make. They will not get between the bond Itori and I have and with definitely get between the feelings I have for you."

My hands released his sweater as my palm gently ran over his chest. I inhaled the scent of his body. This masculine rawness of blood, ink, paint and sweat. My knees literally felt weak, just how many days have I imagined touching him like this.

 _I want you._

His hands rest on mine and I felt him pushing them away. I held his hand and wrapped it around my waist.

"Don't reject me, plea-se." Shit, I'm losing face. The tears were building up in my eyes and my voice cracked as begged him.

"Kaisa you're making it hard, to not want to hold you, do you know that?" he mumbled his hands moving over my body to my face.

I looked at him blinking the tears away staring into his eyes as mine travelled to his lips.

He pulled me to his face our lips meeting as our kiss escalated quickly into a saucy entanglement as our tongues clashed against each other.

He pulled away as I breathed heavily feeling my body becoming so demanding for more.

He face palmed cursing under his breath I could see he didn't want to give in but I wanted him to I wondered what exactly would I have to do to make him stop fighting it. Just release the animal in you- stop holding back!

I felt flustered because of him and as I watched him look down on me probably wondering what to do with me I felt my libido racing almost like a 200 meter dash just trying to build so much leverage in speed that will come crashing down once I hit my limit and I know of course at that point it would feel so damn good.

"Uta please, it's unbearable," I whisper looking at him and he grins and looks away and I can see he is probably more flustered than I am. I somewhat feel like those were magic words. He does love teasing I know it's a treat when I beg so maybe….maybe I should.

I take his hand pulling him to the counter and I feel him against me as he pushes me against the granite surface and hoist up my skirt. His body against mine and he pulls apart my clothes pulling down my bra and unzipping my skirt as I feel it ride all the way up to my waist.

"I'm sorry, I know yo-you don't want to do it." I mumble as I feel his body lean against mine and I feel his hands between my legs as he lifts my leg gripping it in his hand.

"I should be apologizing I might be a little rough." He says as his other hand comes around my waist and squeezes my breast pinching my nipple between his fingers making me gasp and reflexively arch my back against him.

It's no use. I can't hold back when he hasn't touched me for days. It's like everywhere is sensitive and everything is just too much to bare. As he enters my grip on the counter tightens and when he begins to move I start moaning as I literally can't fight against him, or his body….or the way he starts thrusting.

My alarm clock makes me jump up opening my eyes as I look around in my room. It was a dream. It was a damn dream. It has been two weeks but I'm not even allowed the freedom to leave my apartment without supervision. Now with me having this dream I am only left with sadness, loneliness and a definitely damp underwear.

"Kaichi! Are you up?"

"I am now…"

"You seemed to be dreaming about Uta, when I went in the room earlier for laundry you were moaning his name in your sleep."

"No way…" I said blushing deeply as I took up my just brewed coffee having a sip. The dream suddenly skims the surface of my mind as I push it aside but it fights back going to the granite counter scene as it savagely fucks my brain and takes over my entire mind making me solid red as I sip my hot coffee burning my tongue. Fuck you- you damn revolting perverted dream. As good and erotic as you are…oh dammit I need to get it out of my head!

"Gosh you miss him. She can't live without you Uta."

I giggled leaning against the island. "Your right I can't. Miss him so badly." I add rising up and getting ready to go training.

"Your ass looks fatter Mrs. Squatting~"

"Wahhhhh, well I do practice 50 squats a day. It has been feeling firmer."

"Indeed, if only you could expand that rack."

"My rack is perfection!" I retorted walking away with my pride.

"Is it now? Come, touch a real rack- you know you want to."

I blushed. My hand reached out and touched her boob.

"How does a _real_ rack feel."

"Real…" I mumbled. I cuddled her resting my face on her chest. "I want real racks."

I froze. Nooooo! I was hypnotized! I was fighting so well by walking away but the realness pulled me. So soft…so pillow –like. I want to stay here.

In training I was more and more accustomed to fighting. My defenses where good and according to Shinohara I had good reaction time.

"Your improvement is commendable don't you think so too Amon?"

Amon was busy doing some lifts but at the sound of Shinohara's question he paused and rose up.

"Miss Terresi is surely learning."

I smiled. Once training was done I was so relieved of all the work and hassle. I felt happy to be complimented on my work and effort I did feel like I learned a lot since the past two weeks.

"No, that's all." I said looking at Amon who had the four donuts in his hand.

"What, what happened to the 27 donuts a day?"

"That is extremely way too much sweetness. You will get fat. I've lowered it to just 6."

"Miss Terresi this is wrong, it's a crime, I want my 27 donuts." I blinked looking at him. This is the first I have seen him this bothered.

"No more sweet donuts." I said firmly. Like it or not I was not going to promote hypertension.

"Miss Terresi let's try something more advanced." Shinohara said as I looked up to the combat floor giving Amon his treats as I went up the three steps removing my shoes as I stepped onto the rubber flooring. Something new…interesting.

"What are we doing?" I asked as I saw him get serious his 'ever-kind' and smiling expression changing.

"Your defense and offense is good but I think it's time I teach you how to attack _critically_."

I raised an eyebrow giving him the 'what-are-you-talking-about' look as he signaled for me to come at him.

I charged wisely aiming for his legs something I learnt that most ghouls wouldn't expect as he blocked and in the gist of the moment his hand slammed down to my leg luckily missing as I pulled away quickly getting to my feet.

The sound of the contact his hand made with the floor caused me to swallow as I defended myself catching my breath and controlling my shock as I came to realization that if I hadn't moved my leg he would have clammed down on my ankle and sprain it. That attack was too dangerous.

"W-What if I never moved my leg?"

"Your reflexes are good, I anticipated you dodging it."

My eyes widened in disbelief, "But still if I-"

"Miss Terresi a ghoul isn't going to wait for you to move your leg."

I swallowed. So he was pretending to be a ghoul. Ha-ha- Then at least pretend to try and hurt me- don't attempt it for real!

Now I realized why this was attacking 'critically'. I needed to land a serious attack on my opponent. Now that I thought back to my attack, in the alley when I stepped on the ghoul' face injuring him- that would have been my critical attack, but how do you critically attack an actual ghoul? If this was a ghoul like in the alley it would buy time to dislocate a joint most preferably in his lower half so I would have time to escape. However if this was a ghoul like Renji who I witnessed while sparring with Uta when I was at his place accidentally breaking his hand by blocking the force of Uta's attack heal in literally under a minute, how would I even have time to decide to escape?

"Attack."

I swallowed. I can't kill a ghoul. I can't harm a ghoul with just physical attack I would need a weapon or something, my basic martial arts was nothing.

I charged at him as in the midst of attacking Shinohara's hand landed on my head before I can even touch him.

"The strength of a ghoul is remarkable. Miss Terresi right now you are dead," He said turning to me with a smile as I blinked from behind his hand on my face as he moved it away slowly and I swallowed, "your skull is crushed, you fall to the ground and you are therefore dead- defeated."

I frowned. How could I have even been so open?

I sit humbly as he scolds me and then teaches me about my openings but I couldn't shake off the thought that I was weak. Against a common ghoul I could escape. But against a real ghoul, a full-fledged ghoul, I couldn't do much.

"Can you train me with a weapon?"

"A weapon?" He said as he sat down looking at me, "Why the sudden request?"

I paused looking at him as I turned to the weaponry area at the side of the gym spotting Amon training with one as I looked back to my sensei with a serious expression.

"No matter how good I become in Martial Arts I am not sufficient in defense if I come in contact with an actual ghoul. Shinohara-san you taught me that ghouls are on different levels, what if I face a strong ghoul…how will I land a proper attack to escape or to buy time? I want to learn with a weapon. I don't want to just defend. I want to attack."

He looked at me staring long and hard as he suddenly released a loud sigh making me stare with a blank expression. Okay?

"Miss Terresi that's supposed to start in the next two weeks, do you want to rush critical offense?"

"What's the difference? I might as well start now while I'm this dedicated. I don't believe as someone being targeted I have the choice with unpredictable time as to when I would be attacked. You said I was commendable...so I believe I'm therefore good enough."

He nodded and rose up signaling for me to follow as I got up following him over to weaponry as I looked at the many different weapons.

"Hmm, no…no…no…"

I looked at him as he picked and choose of what was most suitable. I do not want anything close range, I doubt I was good at far ranged objects I had horrible aim.

"A sword"

"Samurai," I said grinning as I took the sword he handed to me.

"Your close range is good."

"But I don't like close range." I said with a pout as I am convinced I actually like no range at all.

"Let's begin." he said taking a wooden sword himself as we went back to the training ground's prepared to begin.

Training day slowly passes like all the others as I stand outside the building waiting for the car to come around from the parking lot and drop me home. Once I get to my apartment I begin dinner and have a shower as I know Itori won't be home till around late 9.

I sit before the TV with my plate of food and my phone watching animal planet as I checked my messages seeing if there was anything new. Nothing…the usual. I ate and got comfy in the couch covering myself with the blanket as I decided to go to sleep. What was the point? He wasn't calling. He never visited. He never messaged or even told Itori anything to say to me. He sees her frequently though. I close my eyes falling asleep thinking about him.

The door creaked open and my eyes open as I sit up hearing the footsteps enter my apartment. That's not Itori. I reached for the fork as I moved slowly.

"Miss Terresi?"

I paused. It was one of my bodyguards. "What is it?" I glanced at the clock I've only been asleep for a little over half an hour.

"A ghoul was killed in front of the apartment building a few minutes ago, we are looking into the-"

My eyes widened. A ghoul was killed 'in front' of my apartment building. I went to the balcony opening the doors as I stepped out the cold air hitting me along with the sound of siren and a crowd below.

Not a human. A ghoul…a ghoul. This meant-

I turned running to my door putting on my sneakers as I ran out my apartment ditching the elevator and taking the stairs disregarding the man shouting at me as I ran as fast as I could. Once I'm out the building a few eyes turned to me but I quickly ran through the crowd as I sprinted down the streets.

What the hell am I doing?

My heart was moving on its own accord but I knew….I had people protecting me…I had people other than CCG watching me…I had them…I had _him_.

I stopped as I tried to catch my breath in the park resting my hands on my knees breathing heavily as I was sure once I left this park and bent the corner I would reach the pathway that led straight to Uta's. I gripped my chest trying to breathe calmly as I rose up swallowing and mastering my heartbeat as I looked around my surroundings.

Suddenly I hear shuffling as I look into the trees to see someone turn around. Renji.

I ran to him wrapping my arms around him as I closed my eyes. I knew it. I knew it I knew it I knew he was here.

"Kaisa- what are you doing out of the apartment?"

I felt my eyes water as I blinked away the tears. "It was you right, you killed the ghoul in front my apartment, it was you right?"

Renji looked at me pausing as he released my arms around him stepping away. "Yes, but…their coming."

"W-Wait…where is Uta?"

"He sent me." He ran off vanishing like thin air as I stood looking in the abyss of darkness as the breeze blew and I felt my hair fluttering in the wind as I looked up into the night sky.

"Miss Terresi- why did you run off?!"

I turned around to see three CCG officers as I could hear the police sirens as two cops came onto the scene out of breath in worse condition than the CCG as one had a barking dog and the other a flashlight as they looked around.

"I….got scared. A ghoul was killed in front of my apartment and I….got scared…so I ran away…" I mumbled as I couldn't even look at them. I was so close to crying right now.

When I entered the apartment Itori was in the living room on the phone. I am so zoned out as I played the scene over in my head.

A ghoul was killed in front of my apartment, a ghoul.

Renji was close by…but…Uta sent him?

A ghoul's body was however found dead directly before my apartment?

I went into the kitchen reheating the food as I pulled some carrots out the fridge putting some water to boil. My mind was moving on its own as I thought over the entire ordeal itself as I began cutting the carrots.

The policeman said he was just there when the body just fell from the air and right in front the entrance. There were no signs of other ghouls and according to the forensics when they arrived- the ghoul wasn't killed from the fall…

Even weirder Renji was found on the scene by me personally, but if I recall correctly, he said he was sent by Uta.

This was confusing- why would Uta send him to kill the ghoul, how did Uta know the ghoul was there? Why did Renji kill the ghoul and leave it at the apartment, wouldn't that make CCG security tighter? Why was the ghoul murdered away from my location but planted there? Why wasn't any of this making sense?

"Kaisa!"

Itori grabbed my hand as I jumped out of my thoughts feeling her hand grip mine as my other suddenly started to burn as I realized the knife had cut my finger…twice.

"C-crap I wasn't paying attention, I-I-"I couldn't even finish my sentence as I was lost for words I didn't even feel the cut until I started focusing. Itori hung up the call pulling me to the stool as she closely inspected the cut.

"I smelt your blood, you're lucky I'm a ghoul because I was on a call. You probably would have cut your finger off!"

I pouted as I looked at it feeling it burning as it was pretty deep slices. "ouchie…"

She sighed as she went to get the first aid and I pushed my finger away from my face no way in hell I want to see blood leaving this wound I was tired of the sight of blood.

I suddenly felt it numb as I smiled a little at least it wasn't so painful now.

"Come." Itori said once she returned with the first aid opening it on the counter as she removed the disinfectant to dress it. I rose my finger smiling as she grinned at me. "Do you want me to lick it….like Uta~"

I blushed, "N-No way!" I said as I looked at my finger my eyes suddenly focusing on it properly.

"Itori…"

"Hmm?"

"The cuts…the slices…their gone."

* * *

 **My writer's block is going away I'm so excited to progress more into this story im already half way on chap 23. Please leave your reviews they are greatly enjoyed.**

 **Also! I request two things:**

 **1) Check out my new Tokyo ghoul fanfic 'Confessions of a Nymphomaniac'.**

 **2) Vote in the poll for Deadly Art**

 **Thank You.**


	23. The Moon of My Life

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **A very long time since I haven't update- really sorry but i'll explain afterwards! (trying to see if I can do this weekly ^)**

* * *

 **Chapter 23**  
 **The Moon of My Life**

When I woke up I could hear the silence in the apartment. Sadly Itori was gone but I never expected her to leave today; it was a stay home all day Saturday. I never had much to do and I barely had laundry plus with all my

stress from yesterday I didn't even have the urge to move out the bed and begin my day.

I groaned loudly turning in the bed looking into the ceiling questions resurfacing in my mind about what happened last night. Was this more chaotic than I believed? I knew the situation was that someone might be hunting me, but with the dead ghoul dropped right in front my apartment building, I now knew I am definitely being targeted and whoever is doing it is very keen on driving me up into the wall. The CCG protection has nearly tripled and I'm beyond restricted from going anywhere unauthorized. As a matter of fact I'm not sure I can leave my apartment.

As a matter of fact, I'm not sure I even want to stay here today.

I rose up going to the bathroom and giving my body a nice warm shower. What was I supposed to do today? I could daringly leave my apartment and wander to somewhere that could rob away all this solitude, but where was that?

Renji?

Renji was a perfect escape and I had the comfort of my three adorable kittens to woo and wax me with their soft fuzzy bodies to their hearts content in making me all happy again. But, that would be so awkward with what happened last night….and if I went I would flood him with questions and I knew that he wouldn't give me answers.

I sighed thinking even more.

His name was like a soft whisper coming from the back of my head and my heart bellowed in my chest. He could answer all my questions and he was my best escape. I've been so scared of seeing him, going to him, scared of getting him in trouble and of being in trouble by getting caught. He never called, he never visited, he never even sent messages so I wasn't even sure what to think of him, or how to feel about him. Were we even still in a relationship? What if it was over between us and he's moving on. What if he already moved on and probably, probably he's seeing someone else?

Get it together kaisa!

I buried my face in the towel as I dried my body as I looked in the mirror and slapped my cheeks. This wasn't the time for 'what if's'. I was strictly determined to see him today and when I do I plan to face him with all these questions. He's not that type of person to move on like that. He stayed with me through everything before he wouldn't just walk away like that.

I sighed going to my closet searching for something to put on. I could feel the guilt as I felt ashamed of myself for doubting the man I was more than positive would put his life on the line for me. I didn't want to be weak; I can't be in the middle of all of this and afford to be weak. Whether someone was targeting me, whether I was having a life crisis and even if I might be in this condition for months and years before I'm safe, I'm not going to be weak!

Uta isn't weak, Itori isn't weak, Renji isn't weak, Amon isn't weak and I'm…..I'm not going to be weak. I have strong people around me and I have people who care and love me so I won't let fear get the best of me. I won't.

By the time I'm dressed I pack my little knapsack and slip on my ankle boots locking my room door as I went to the entrance. I opened it seeing that wow- no one was on guard!

I moved quick going down through the hall and almost as if I've counted my blessings too early there was a large group of nearly ten police officers at the entrance of the elevator just watching and talking amongst themselves. I gulped as I wondered how the hell would I get to pass, there was another three at the staircase so I couldn't go that way either. How else would I get to leave?!

I looked around going back down the hall, it seemed like I would have to stay in. I looked at the window at the end, if only I was a ghoul and could fly. I walked to it looking out as it was the back of the apartment building facing the other next to us with the somewhat clean alley and the garbage for the entire complex. Below me was some connecting pipes and believe me the floor was quite the way down as I was on the top floor. An idea crossed my head as I looked around. I feel the crazy thoughts pulling on my logics and to make it worse I could hear the officers deciding to go to their post. So wait, the reason they were all piled there was because they had a meeting?! So there is one that's supposed to be at my door. Judging by the footsteps it sounded like three if not two of them. I could faintly hear their convo.

"I mean, what's the point, she's probably under the sheets crying in fear she won't be coming out till the next 10 days!"

"You're probably right, who hears that someone was killed in front their apartment and runs out into the dark, she must either have a death wish or be extremely scared of ghouls to want to get away."

"Listen, 32 and I two point guard at the door, you two go to the window. We switch every 30 got it?"

My heart started racing I'm gonna get caught I can't rush to my room or I'll buck into them and I can't jump from here or I will definitely die!

Shinohara told me about going against the system. If I was suspected of trying to escape secure barriers this was going to be beyond my control. The luxurious opportunity of staying in my apartment and having the comfort of my own element would be taken away- I could be moved from my apartment, from the ward- heck, as big as it was getting I could be moved out the country!

I had to take this risk- I had to, if I was immigrated I'm sure he would visit me, I'm sure Itori and Renji would as well, I believe they would make that sacrifice, even if a part of me is being greedy by just wanting him to come with me….completely.

I stuck one leg out and then the other as I looked before me into the hall and caught a glimpse of their shadows approaching. I would be mad to let go now just to avoid this risk. But with the little courage I had I took a three seconds or four telling myself this was a bad idea as I looked at the rusty drainage pipe feeling like it would crumble to ashes in my hand if I jumped for it. I scooted one of my hands to my waist taking off my belt as I inhaled reaching for it and moving my entire body completely. I gripped tightly on the belt holding on for dear life as I slipped it between the huge pipe and the wall and began going down as skillfully as I can. By the time I reach the floor I took the belt running through the ally and escaping to the other side of the building. From here on out. I was safe.

I slipped in and out of the crowd getting my way out the perimeter as it was thickly fogged with policemen and CCGs who I'm sure were in disguise as I could spot a few faces I knew I had seen before at training.

As soon as I was in good distance I started walking slowly. It was best I moved to a normal pace since moving swift and agile would draw attention to myself. I entered maybe two stores fooling around and interacting which kind of made my stomach turn since I knew I was wasting time if someone was chasing me and I couldn't shake off the anxiety of the thought of using regular people pretending to care and fake smiling just to ditch whoever was, might or is following me.

I blushed lightly the minute I turned into the walkway that led to his store, it was just there…his building. It was just a pile of space, material, steel and concrete but it meant so much to see it after nearly three months knowing it was his residence.

I walked up to the entrance reaching for his door as I turned the knob only to realized its locked.

"….."

I looked up spotting the big closed sign as I blinked.

How the hell can I even miss the sign?

I sighed looking at the door as I reached for the glass placing my fingers on the mirror looking into the darkness as I couldn't see inside but if he was there he could see me.

Uta….open the door. I know your inside!

My eyes watered, what was this feeling….I didn't like it. I could feel it, almost as if he was close. Was he going to avoid me- no- I would break down this fucking door if I have to.

I went through a lot just to get this far, I sacrificed too much just to make it to his door. I reached for the knob twisting it as it was seriously locked.

Uta you asshole. I risked everything to come this far. I looked at the door as my eyes got blurry and I could barely see as they were clouded with tears.

I never stopped thinking of you not a single day. I always believed that when this was over we could go back to the way it was. Showing you my sketches, critiquing each other's work, talking to each other and reminiscing over now which would be way behind us. When I trained I imagined being stronger to be by your side so I wouldn't be weak and fall so easily. Nights I muttered all the loneliness and needing into the darkest part of my heart so I could sleep knowing that tomorrow would be a better day. I wanted to give up and give in, to bend to the hardships of not having you, to survive your selfish act of disappearing like you were never even here. Yet, I kept going because I felt like a day like this would come, where I could be at your door, only that it would open….and not be closed on me.

A hand slipped right under mine inserting the key as my heart stooped. I looked at it. Those familiar tattoos, that strong firm muscle lined under such pale delicate skin. My stomach sank and my heartbeat felt faint almost as if it had returned to its general pace after so many days….after so many weeks, after so many months.

He stepped close behind me pushing the door in as I didn't even want to move. My legs were rooted in the ground, my mind was blank, my heart was suddenly jumping more heartbeats that it should per minute and my eyes…..I could barely see through then as they got so blurry with water. He was really here….he was really really here.

The scent of inside his shop hit me and it was the scent of him. The smell I was so insanely in love with that it would drive me mad if I had to go another month without smelling it at all.

I felt his hand rest on my sides as I inhaled sharply. His touch, this feeling- his hands. I couldn't possible calm myself as the tears streaked down my face.

He gently moved me as I stepped in wiping the tears away as more replaced them. I stepping in turning around as I looked at the tall figure closing the door behind him. I felt like he had grown more from the last time I saw him. His back looked firmer….his shoulders were stronger….everything seemed different in small ways but he looked the very same. He turned around looking at me as he slid the keys into his pockets.

"Is the sun that hot that it makes you cry?" he asked removing his glasses putting it in his other pocket his eyes still on me.

I smiled a little as I managed to nod. The sun was actually hot. But even so the tears still came and I was sure he knew it was more than the sun.

He walked to me putting his thumb on my face wiping away the tears as I looked up into his eyes staring into them.

He gazed at me as I felt his finger caressing my cheek our eye contact lasting long as I could feel so many feelings rushing through me.

He looked at me as I felt his finger caressing my cheek. Our eye contact lasted long as I could feel so many feelings rushing through me.

He leaned close his hand sliding behind my neck pulling me close to him as my body felt like the weight of a feather for his strength while it melted quickly to his touch and warmth. Holy fuck I couldn't stop the tears as I felt my inner ego telling myself this was going to be probably a sloppy kiss if I don't stop crying.

"W-W-Wait." I said placing my hand on his chest as I looking unto him.

"Kaisa, it can wait." He murmured leaning closer as his lips brushed over mine and I pulled back looking into his eyes as I witnessed his confusion.

"I love you." I whispered looking into his eyes.

I felt his fingers lingered between my locks as he looked at me staring into my eyes and something was different.

"Say it again."

I blushed. No way in hell I could say that again, fuck I'll march straight to the apartment and let them see and deport me instead!

He smiled and I blushed. Damn him and his attractive unique beauty.

"Again or I won't kiss you." He threatened kindly. And yes- kindly. He was the only man who could pull off modern-day respect and rudeness in the same breath without sounding sarcastic.

"U-Unfair," I replied far too quickly for me to realize how easily I caved in. I wanted my kiss…but this was blackmail. Serious blackmail. "Fine….I-I…..I love….lo-love-"

His lips suddenly met mine as I felt his hand gently grip my hair pulling my head back as he kissed me so passionately causing a soft pleased groan to escape as my hands reached up to his shoulder gripping his shirt as his actions pleased my body completely.

He pulled away slowly. His eyes were the first thing I saw when I opened mine as I breathed unevenly.

"I-I didn't get to finish." I said blushing indefinitely as my hands moved to his chest balling the fabric in my fist as I looked into his mesmerizing eyes feeling lust and pleasure tug on all sides of my body like an impatient child begging its mother for more as I knew deep inside I wanted him to kiss me like that again.

"You were taking too long." He said as he leaned to me kissing me again.

I pressed my body against his teasingly showing I was enjoying myself. We both wanted more as I kissed him back just as passionately as him as I successful gained a few groans from him when I scored my points of being playful in our lustful kiss. Both desire and anxiety released into each other while my tongue flicked against his and entangled back again as my hand wandered over his chest.

Eventually it came to a slow stop as we caught our breath. My hands slid down his torso as they went under his shirt going up as I felt his muscles. My stomach became fluttery with butterflies as my eye candy has gotten more muscular indeed.

He placed his hand on mine as he gave me a playful smile.

Wait. A playful smile? This can't be good….at all.

He pulled me behind him as he led me to the back of the store. I blushed remembering the most profound memory from one of my visits, it seemed like every time I visited something sexual takes place or more appropriate, every time I visited we made a sexual advance in our relationship.

He went through the doorway as he led me up a staircase and I blushed when I realized- he was taking me into his apartment! I was falling into him. If I went through his apartment door it was settled, I was officially his woman.

He opened the door and slowly I entered. It was an open concept of kitchen and living room on the left as there was a wall on the right creating an hallway that carried you straight pass both rooms and into the living room space with a sharp right to a hallway to two enclosed rooms that ended at what I believe was the bathroom. He reached for my strap bag placing it on the coat hanger as I followed suit behind him looking around. This was not the apartment I expected. The living room had a room on the far right with Japanese styled wall doors- his office maybe? It was modern and western-looking with a touch of Japanese.

Uta wasn't particularly goth or emo. He just had a strong sense of art and favored piercings and tattoos. His choice of music was extremely diverse similarly was his design on masks. I was taken to econd hallway behind the main I first saw as we walked through the open door and into his bedroom. His bed was huge. The bedroom was very big and I wasn't surprised as downstairs was a lot of space. But upstairs was spacious and his room was very…big…but the bed ate almost 5/8 of it. He walked to the bed as I sat down and looked around seeing his room had a built in bathroom. I blushed looking around as the room smelt of him. Did he always smell this strong? For a tattoo artist everything was so clean and the walls were white and plain but the décor was normal and stylish to his liking as some things I could easily pick up was chosen by his special taste.

"Kaisa-"

I jumped turning to him.

"-eyes on me"

I got red. Was I staring and gawking that much?

"Y-yes!" I replied almost like a student and teacher as I realized I came off way too formal. He smirked.

Great. Now I felt absolutely embarrassed.

He came close as he tilted my chin with his finger leaning over to lightly peck my lips. "You're being cute."

I blushed. I maybe 'might be' enjoying this new style of pampering.

He stepped back as he reached the hem of his shirt as he pulled it slowly over his head and I gawked like a teenage at every ab in his abdomen, the firm hard-muscled yet soft-looking luscious pecs, his tight serratus, his firm…rock hard oblique as his biceps wasted no time in taking some of the glory as he stretched the shirt over his head.

I swallowed. Holy fuck, I swallowed, gulped and choked in one. Who the hell was he fucking-what the hell was he doing-he literally prospered in my absence. I left him like a well-developed muscled man I return and he is looking like flipping Apollo- like a Greek God or something.

I am utterly victorious and shamelessly wet and drooling. I have no shame in this confession.

"Your turn."

Yuuuup! And like that I returned to the nerd zone from horny teenager. "S-Say what?"

"Take your clothes off."

"W-What- but all your clothes isn't off."

He pulled down his draggers as he wasn't even wearing anything underneath as he turned around and threw his clothes over the chair returning to me naked as hell.

At this point. I have switched back to horny teenager, I am sure I have soaked his bed, I am sure I am bipolar by switching into two personalities and back in 5 minutes, I am sure he is okay and if not…proud of what he has between his legs. I am also sure I won't survive sex and I won't last long in this life of consciousness. I am sure this level of blushing has not only caused blood to rush to my face but allow it to search for the pores to escape. I am fucking sure.

I swallowed. Could I mutter another word? He stood before me naked as I stood to my feet slipping my anklets off as I unzipped them. He walked to me having a seat signaling for me to go before him. I blushed standing before this man reaching for my pants as I slid it off looking at him. This was somewhat arousing having him watch me undress.

 _Kyaaaa I feel perverted for enjoying this just a little!_

I took off my blouse blushing as I reached behind and unhooked my bra looking at him as I dropped it on the floor.

"Ca-can I keep my underwear on…"

"Come here." He ordered as I blushed walking to him as he pulled me onto him making me blush since I could feel my bare chest completely exposed. He slid his hand down my back. "Talk."

I blushed and nodded.

More than an hour has passed and I'm under the sheets curled up talking to him as I looked into his eyes. He was so warm and I felt so relieved telling him all of my experience since he left…all that happened.

"Then Shinohara said I was getting really good so I requested being trained with a weapon. I chose a sword."

"He seems like a good Trainor."

"Seems? He is really strong."

He pouted, "Am I not strong?"

I blinked as I felt his hand that had been drawing circles in my back stop. I sat up sitting on my legs as I looked at him. "Of course you're…strong?"

"You don't sound positive."

"Maybe cause I've never witnessed." I teased as I smiled watching. "I've gotten stronger"

"I know…" He said as he leaned up but not to my lips but to my chest as he kissed my cleavage. He looked up at me as he pulled me down with him pulling the sheets back over us as he entangled me in a hug taking my hand as he slipped on of my fingers in his mouth.

I blushed looking away. I felt like I was somewhat putting my hand in the mouth of a lion as he was a ghoul. He sucked on it like it was a treat as he pulled it out and licked. I pulled my hand away as that was maybe without him knowing, a little intense. Ghouls tongue are a little longer than the usual not to mention of much more flexibity, it amazes me how normal our kissing is compared to what he just did with his tongue when my finger was inside his mouth.

"N-no more teasing." I mumbled blushing a lot as I looked away.

"Do you have any other way to entertain me?" He asked as he flipped me looking down at me as he sat up completely pulling the sheet down leaving me completely naked.

"Let me inspect you." He said as he began looking at my body looking intensly as my face got hot- he was seeing everyyything!

"W-Why?!"

"I need to know if anyone has been here." he mumbled as his hands groped my chest and I reflexively gasped.

"S-Stop!" I blurted as I didn't expect my body to be this bent into his touch. We were cuddling naked earlier and now I was suddenly nervous?

Almost like my words fell on deaf ears his hand slid over other sections going down my torso as my breathing got uneven.

He slid his hands to my underwear as he undid both the strings on the side making me blush.

"D-Do you have to check there too?"

"Yes." He said as he looked at me and leaned over as I felt everything against me. "But I trust you. So it was fun teasing." he said as I blushed madly.

"No more teasingggg." I complained softly as I blushed even more. "You always tease."

He didn't respond but I could tell he was satisfied. "Relax." He said as he leaned over looking at me as I was boxed in underneath him. He got comfortable and gently caressed my head petting me.

I am not a kitten. But- I dooo enjoy the petting.

"I want to close my eyes and sleep….and know I'll wake up and see you here." I said softly as I rubbed my eyes as they were a little swollen from crying earlier. I wrapped my arms around him snuggling into him as I yawned.

* * *

 **Wow writers block is so hard to manage. When I started writing this story I did it with a friend and honestly I was devoted into writing this for her. Along the line about chap 20 she opened up about her disinterest to the anime/manga and how long-winded, confusing and off-track it has gotten that she had absolutely become turned off completely. Broken-hearted as I was, my motivation hard work and pretty much the entire drive just died in me for this fic. I really started out doing this for her- it broke my little heart that it was unrequited. My writers block began and I really never felt interested. One day I sat down went through all the reviews and I realized. If i gave up on this I would be no different, i would be doing the same to you. I know my story has died down and that many have lost interest, but I'm not doing this to reach out or to build back reviews (well a little .) but I wanted to finish what I started. I want to write this fic to the end, the way I wanted it to be. Hopefully someone will love it the way I wanted it to be loved.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	24. His Sun and His Stars

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Just have to say-Angel Von Ripper thank you so much for your review, really motivated me to keep going. Thank you everyone for your support I'm very- very grateful.**

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

 **His Sun and His Stars**

I lightly caressed the skin of the man next to me inhaling his scent as he never smelt as strong to me as he did now. In his grasp you couldn't tell me that my body wasn't completely synchronized with his as I felt like an attachment, a piece, a section….a very living-breathing part of him.

Every breath he took was mine and every beat of his heart stringed mine closely behind his as I felt like I had finally been entwined with my very own fate and destiny.

 _Tell me you love me._

I nudged my head slowly, looking up at him as I gazed longingly at his face. I admired the structure of his jawline adding much feature to his cheekbones as I smiled realizing a small secret.

He turned his head looking down at me as his eyes met mine and my heart skipped a beat.

I got caught ogling...

"This is the fourth time, what is it now?"

…Again

I blushed. Have I really been caught looking at him so many times? He didn't seem annoyed though, instead he seemed to be somewhat enjoying my company, even if I was looking too much.

"You can dye your hair, but you can't get the blonde off your lashes."

"…You're right."

I smiled as I looked properly they were actually long but not thick so it made it so hard to notice them. Plus the color of them wasn't helping.

"I want to see you're blonde."

"That's impossible. "

"Why?"

"It's part of disguise to cloak myself in the public." Must be in regards to him being notoriously tracked by the doves.

"But it makes you stands out."

"How?"

I laughed softly to myself did he really ask how? "Uta, you're very tall, you're covered in tattoos you have an unorthodox hairstyle and covered in piercings. Plus, your choice of clothes is western and you have an intriguing presence and with all your physical indifferences you have a hidden beauty." I said this all in a mouthful as it was only a few seconds afterwards I realized everything I had just said and how hard he was staring.

"So you like my tattoos."

I blinked. Of alllllllll the things I just said the tattoos stood out. Okay well at least I didn't have to worry about him teasing me about calling him handsome.

"Hmmm, yeah."

"Precious Kaisa, on our first date, I told you I wanted to do your back, do you remember?"

I blushed. So now he gives me an adorable name and he is bringing up our first date. This was sort of…different…and cute…the name calling made him romantic.

"Your being romantic…are you trying to win me over and bed me?"

"There is nothing to win if I already have you, and you are also already in my bed."

"W-well I am **on** your bed…we haven't had sex."

"I can change that in twenty minutes."

"You will not." I said but it was more of an order as I gave him a serious look which slowly perished as he sat up a little resting his head in his hand. _Oh no._

"Kaisa, are you daring me to fuck you?"

I went red, completely red. "Manners!" I said flicking his nose as he barely twitched. "Wh-What about your manners, d-don't say it so ….rudely…" this last word came out as a whisper. It was embarrassing hearing him say it out loud.

He pouted, "My apologies."

I looked at him I hated when he pout, he shouldn't; he gets cuter in so many ways.

"But what if I am…what can you do?"

He turned in the bed looming over me as he boxed me in underneath him as he looked into my eyes, "I can win that dare, but…do you remember what I told you on our first date, regarding tattoos."

I paused giving it a thought he was quite adamant about me remembering so it must be something important. "You, you wanted to do my back."

"What do you think of that?"

"I can't let you just tattoo my back like that, I mean that is sort of…I never had one before."

"So do you want a small one somewhere else for now?"

"You're marking my body. What do I get in return?"

He smirked. I was turning the wheels in his head.

"What do you want?"

I rose up looking up at him as I wrapped my hand around his neck looking into his eyes. "Everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything in and of you."

"Kaisa must I remind you who you are speaking to."

"No need. I'm fully aware."

He looked at me as his finger rested under my chin tilting my head up as I looked into his eyes. This side of Uta made me shiver a little.

"I am not what you see."

"Yes. Yes you are. Because I know….well I can feel you. Your thoughts and emotions…I mean….I am seriously yours just as you are mine. You're more than what I see…"

"Kaisa, what would you do if I ate someone before you."

I paused. I never really, thought of that. "I would…watch."

"Would you watch me kill them before I eat them?"

I got scared. "I-It's your way of living."

"I love killing…and eating people. When I find my meal I like to have the fingers and the eyes and sometimes I take souvenirs if I enjoy it. I rather to play with them and watch them slowly die, watch them turn to nothing and then, have them beg me to take them out their misery. It doesn't feel like killing by the end, I feel like I did them a favor; show them the true picture of pain and desperation. I don't do it to eat. I do it because I love doing it. It doesn't make me do it for survival, I'm doing it because I love torturing and killing them. Eating only becomes important when I starve and when it comes to that feeding on my own kind isn't a problem."

I looked at him my blood running cold as I stared into his eyes. You don't do it to eat, you do it for fun. Which means you would murder someone because you want to?

"Why are you doing? Making me scared of you- you think I'm going to get up and run home after discovering you're murderously adventurous in your lifestyle?"

He looked at me as I could see his expression change to curiosity.

"If you're going to make me afraid d-do a better job."

What the holy fuck was I saying I was scared shitless right now if Uta was like this it didn't make him a man of a different kind he was now a man of a different world. These are the people you call 'cannibals', 'murderers' and 'insane'. I felt like the chain around my neck that strangled me with the truth that I was affiliated with a target has just evolved to chains tying me to a sinking anchor in the deep cold depths of the ocean sinking, all by realizing he was more than just a target, he was the game himself.

Momentarily I realized that maybe…maybe Uta knows more of what is really going on.

"Uta…wh-what's really happening to me…to the people around me." I asked looking at him as I couldn't regret him, us- no fucking way. If he was mad then I was mad too if he was a murderer then I was a partner in crime. I just don't want to watch him…kill.

"You're being hunted."

"I thought it was target."

"Hunted."

"Aumm….is it the Aogiri Tree"

"Yes."

"Well…are they going to kill me?"

"They are trying to. That's why I protect you." He moved to my side as I turned my back to him I needed to process this. When it was coming from him it was different. I felt his body against my back as I pulled the sheets to my nose inhaling the scent.

Wait, did he just say that's why he protects me?

"You protect me…how?"

"I kill for you. I follow you everywhere you go, I watch you day and night and I ensure that you're completely…safe."

His finger travelled down my back drawing small lines and circles as I knew he was thinking of what he wanted there. I turned in the sheets to face him as I looked into his eyes blushing.

" _You_ killed that ghoul."

"I've killed many ghouls"

"You killed the ghoul that came to my apartment."

"I've killed many ghouls that have come to your apartment."

My breath got caught in my throat. Was this confession and correction he was giving me in one?

I looked at him. How many times exactly has he…protected me?

"You killed that ghoul at my apartment last night." I said roughly how much further was he going to push his vague games?

"Which one."

I looked at him. He wasn't joking. He wasn't even bluffing.

"How many ghouls did you kill…last night?" my lips trembled as I eyes watered. You had to be joking he risked his life for me last night? What if he died? How many nights were there like last night?

"Eight. He was trying to get away." He said as he touched my cheeks his way of comforting me as even if he wasn't a man of many words he was a man of many- many actions.

"Did you, get hurt?"

"No."

I snuggled into him wrapping my arms around him as I buried my face in his chest hiding my tears. "Lies, you got hurt."

"I didn't."

"Lies…." I felt like a child and a kicked puppy in one.

"I didn't." he said again as I blushed sniffling as I looked up to him feeling him pull my hair back so he could face me. "I feel hurt. The only ones that died are them, why are you crying for them?"

"I'm crying for you."

Baka Uta, I'm wasting my tears on you, I never knew this the entire time.

"But I'm okay."

I wiped my tears looking up at him. At this point I feel like he has seen it all. I don't have anything in the closet to keep myself as mysterious as I wanted to be so he would wander into my presence curiously. Instead now that he has seen me cry a lot of times and I felt a little weak. I haven't seen him show much emotion at all compared to what I have placed on the table.

"You- you can't even walk me home." I said cracking a smile as it was true. He couldn't, he shouldn't and I wouldn't let him if it meant risking my life.

"That's why you should stay." He mumbled as he pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

"What would I sleep in?" I asked playing along.

"My arms."

I laughed covering my mouth I was not going to sleep half naked like this I loved him but not enough to spend another 2 hours like this with him.

This was Uta we were taking about. He already had me locked in against him.

"What would I eat?"

"Isn't that where humanities clever idea of having food taken to their house occurs?"

"You mean home delivery?"

"Yes."

"But my love-"

"Yes darling?"

I smiled blushing. He certainly loved role playing and this was something new that I was going to completely enjoy.

"Ravish me."

He smirked as my heart skipped a beat did I really have to put my literal pride on the line to get the true colors out of this man. I liked it but I didn't but that thought was quickly killed as his lips met mine and he pulled me onto him body as he pulled the sheets up.

I was no match for his agility or his flexibity. Uta's kisses were deep and passionate. It went three different ways. It was either slow and deep where his lips felt so soft and his tongue entered my mouth like the water washing up gently on the shores of a beach, just meeting my tongue with slow passion, twirling, tasting and gently teasing mine which made my knees feel weak and encouraged me to melt soft and quick in his hands like heated butter.

Then, there was the other which made me feel like I wanted to be thrown against the wall and fucked. Basically. His body felt strong and hard against mine I could feel the urge he had to completely take me. I love the way his skin felt hot and how rough he was with everything he did and how he held me. His kisses were hot and filled with desire and raw lust.

The third was now which was my first time feeling him kiss me like this, it was a mix of both. It felt passionate and deep but I could feel his urge and desire pouring into me. On his body I could feel his arousal not to mention his hand groping my rear and squeezing it. It felt so damn good but this was in no way helping my needy and sexually frustrated body that wanted more of what he was doing.

I tried to break the kiss blushing madly as I pulled away looking at his moist lips with my breath hot and heavy and hands gripping his shoulders.

"…Uta…" It came out as a soft whisper which I never wanted it to be. It only gave me away letting him know I really wanted this.

He sat up meeting my lips as I moaned softly in the kiss feeling him rub our sexes against each other as my hips involuntary moved with his grinds cause I had to admit, it felt wickedly good.

I ran my fingers through his hair undoing his ponytail as I laced my finger through it as they dominantly danced in his hair.

"D-Don't." He mumbled reaching for my hand stopping my teasing fingers.

"Why?" I asked softly as I blushed a little embarrassed, did I do something bad?

"It's stimulating, when you do that in my hair…Kaisa shouldn't touch- or she'll turn me on more than I already am."

I blinked. Wait.

Wait.

What the Fuck.

Wait!

Was this…a weakness?

Oh fuck yes Kaisa you dropped on the landmine. Finally I had something over him and I felt so superior. But somewhat this liable information felt like a warning. A warning that made good sense as to why he stopped me.

Damn you Uta I finally have something over you and him restricted. No- no way in hell.

"But I don't want to stop." I said to him as my fingers continued moving as I tugged on his hair and leaned to his neck leaving soft love bites to mark my property. I trailed over his skin feeling him tense a little as once I went close to his ears I felt him take a sharp breath.

This day could not get any better.

It could not get….any fucking better.

My kisses turned into licks and bites as I listen to his breathing learning what he like and favored. Even if he was a ghoul; he was still a man.

"Bite harder." He mumbled softly in my ears as I knew he liked it and I couldn't help but smile this was the rare and sexual side of him that I was having fun exploring. I bit him harder as I felt his hands moved to the sheets and watched him grip them, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. And so was I.

I left him with kisses and a few light marks that didn't last long as his skin returned to normal almost as if there wasn't a shade of red before.

I slipped my tongue between his lips kissing him passionately as I pulled away looking at him as I kissed him again pulling away leading him to me as I slowly fell back in the bed our tongues entangled in a heated kiss.

My entire body was reacting to his as I gasped and moaned softly in the kiss it was absolutely what I needed after such a long period of not having him.

His hands moved to my thighs gripping them as he broke our kiss and began lathering my neck and chest with kisses. My fingers played in his hair as I heard him groan softly when I would tug it out of pleasure or frustration as his kisses felt hot and wet and be frightened or shocked if I say it felt like he was licking and tasting me- and hell- I didn't mind it.

"Uta." I looked at him as he paused holding my wrist as he slid my hand out his hair and to his face as I watched him lick from my wrist over my palms to my finger as he slipped it in his mouth as his eyes were on me the entire time.

I blushed looking at him as I felt him begin to suck as his teeth lightly grazed my skin. A soft whimpering moan escaped was he eating or teasing me!

I pulled my finger away from him as I trailed my hand down his body as I looked at the amazing work of art before me of sculpted muscles and bones and amazing physique. He was naked before me and I'm surprised I'm not losing blood. How the hell am I surviving this?

"Oh…you're aroused."

I looked at him as I realized what he said and blushed. "S-So are you." I wouldn't dare to look down he has pulled me out the moment almost completely and threw me in front a naked crowd.

"Do you want it to happen now?"

I nodded. Yes I really really really really REALLY want it to happen now!

He smiled as he leaned over and pecked my lips. "We're going to have to postpone. Itori's here." He said as he looked to the window most likely sensing her presence. Ghouls were that good.

"Oh…"

"Don't be sad. We can start and make her wait in the living room until we're done."

I went crimson.

"Are you mad?!"

"Yes."

I looked at him as I got even redder. Fuck the crowd. He threw me naked in front an entire nation- now I was completely out the mood.

Damn you Uta.

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 **Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapie.**

 **Fun Fact#01: This story was to be titled Ghoul Ink. Even in my computer its saved as that straight to fanfiction Doc Manager. I don't remember what changed my mind but i do love Ghoul INk~**


	25. In The Darkness

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **My writers block is going away and I'm trying to stay on schedule with weekly updates- yaaaaay! Please enjoy and review.**

* * *

 **Chapter 25  
In the shadows**

"You're sick and your mad." Itori sneered at me as I smiled.

"I'm not sick, but I might be a little mad." I replied leaning against my lover as I felt him shift mildly behind me while his hand drew small circles on my thigh. I was in nothing but his shirt.

"No no no, you're not a 'little' mad- you **flipping** mad. I stepped into the apartment and there was no sign of you! I was willing to kill everyone in that building."

I pouted, unnecessary murder must be avoided. "I sneaked out…I'm sorry."

"Doesn't mend it." She said as she glared at me then at Uta.

"Your part to blame for this!"

"I take full responsibility." He said peacefully as I smiled a little. Oh Uta~

"Hell no, don't feel sorry for her because I have been lacing her up and then on top of your pity, try to act cool 'taking full responsibility'. She is wrong. You are wrong- but she is **mostly** wrong."

I pouted. She did have a valid point and maybe along the way Uta could have been blamed but what has happened already did and it can't be taken back.

"What happens when they realize you're not there?"

"They won't. You're smart. You left the TV on and the rice cooker and probably left slamming the door creating a scene to make it look like I wanted to be left alone so they wouldn't even knock.

She blinked. "…you're good."

"I learn from the best."

As much as I was trying to water it down, I couldn't take all the steam off her as she was really upset.

"So what have you guys been doing? Saying wedding vows, making babies?"

Uta cleared his throat to speak, "Unfortunately I haven't reached my knees yet and you interrupted before I could formally begin."

I blushed. Uta was dodging no bullets here and he said it so raw that it made me blush cherries! Bad Uta, bad.

"And as for you Miss Terresi."

"I'm…happy…"

My cheeks flushed as I pulled my knees to my chest crossing my ankles as I touched my hot cheeks feeling very flustered.

I'm happy. I'm very-very happy. Back in the arms of the man I was so madly attracted to I could hardly keep the rainbows inside as I was elated to be in his arms and with him.

After a long conversation it was decided it was time for me to go home. I was taken home by Uta entering through my now famous window exit (not so famous when Uta used it almost like he had done this hundreds of time before which I feel like he has) as with Itori distracting the guards we made it to my apartment door. When I entered the apartment I pulled him in as I held onto his shirt pulling him down to my height kissing his lips as I dangerously bit him.

"Trying to make me stay?"

"Is it working?"

"It is." He replied as he gave me a small grin. I slipped my arms over his shoulders looking him in the eyes as I wanted him to stay for the night. "Can't"

"I know." I said as we were interrupted by Itori who came through the hall walking to us.

"I have very bad news."

My hands moved off his shoulders and to my sides as I pouted looking at her. "What is it now?"

"Aogiri Tree, they have set up a group of their best to come after you, and to make it worse, they aren't silent about it."

"W-What do you mean?"

"My information pipes are flooding with the same news. They are coming for you in two days from today. They won't allow you to leave the island. They won't allow you to escape."

I looked at her as I turned to Uta. Did this have to do with the fights and him protecting me? Why did they want me- was I number one on their of human elimination list?

"What are we going to do?"

"Fight." Itori said as she sounded very serious as her lips curled into a smile. Not the nice one, it was the scary one that reminded you she was a ghoul. "If it's a fight they want then it's a fight they get, since they keep on bringing the battle we will bring the war."

I paused, wait….war?

Everyone knows of the three great ghoul wars in Tokyo and how many people and innocent civilians were killed. I can't have a war take place over me; I can't put anymore people's lives on the line. Tyrel was already enough, he barely survived and I can never see him again.

"Wait- aren't they ghouls like you, why are ghouls fighting against ghouls, Shouldn't you be fighting against CCG together?!"

"We are not just fighting." Itori said as she looked at her with a serious expression.

"We are protecting. Keeping. Maintaining. Do you really think this is just about you?" Uta added as he looked at me.

 _Umm…excuse me?_

How was I supposed to say this, I felt relieved and hurt at the same time. I thought this was actually all about me, but now that I knew I wasn't just a soul target- I felt like this was bigger than me and I was just a part, like the heavy blame that was presumed to fall on me was shifting.

"Aogiri Tree is willing to leave the 11th ward to bring war here in Shinjuki, the 4th ward. Believe it or not, they have wanted this for an extremely long time."

"Then-then this isn't about me…this is about territory."

"Wrong and right." Itori said as she looked at me. I could tell she was filled with anger and more over she wanted to go right into the next two days with itching claws. "It's not just about territory; it's about Uta's territory. Him."

I cracked a smile wait- what? This was about Uta?

I turned around looking to him. "You're joking right?"

"I warned you, from the beginning, I tried to protect you- tell you to stay away. He knows that this would eventually happen; I knew this would eventually happen, even Renji…them coming after you. Its apart of him being the most powerful yet mysterious ghoul out there. He's like the grim reaper- you never see him, but death continues to happen around you. No one knows if the 'Peacemaker' is really alive or if he is really powerful but our ward is the most peaceful and well-contained ward when it comes to attacks. However if it is said that he was killed, the fourth ward won't be the only thing on a silver platter to his murderer."

"What do you mean, if they want him, why are they after me?"

"Because you're his woman. If you know the true nature of the man you are truly in love with, the only human that stays around him more than 6 hours are the ones minced up nicely and tucked in his freezers at home. And knowing him I doubt they survive more than 48 hours."

I swallowed. Why was this happening now? I turned around and looked at him as he had not even a shred of remorse which for some reason I felt stupid for expecting that. This was Uta we're talking about.

"I- I know…he eats humans, it's his lifestyle….it's his natur-"

"And you know…how he kills them, how he dismembers them, not with nice little sharp metals but his own hands."

"I am not ashamed of who he is." I said sternly as I glared at her. Was I to cower in horror and shame because this was who he was, what was different in him eating his food from me eating my own. The way we ate it was different, the way we chose to eat is different, how we eat is different, what we ate was different as well. But it doesn't rob away from the fact that we eat to survive. "Try again." I mumbled as my voice cracked and I felt my eyes watering, as much as I was trying to pull my shit together my conscience was slipping through my fingers hitting rock bottom, drilling the logics into me singing songs of reality that at the end of the day- she was right. This was all because of him.

Love or not. Commitment or not. Being by his side through everything or not. I don't want to die because of this man. I could die because of this man. I was going to die because of this man. And if someone was to murder me right now it would only solve their satisfaction because they are not after me but him.

I am just standing in the way and he is actually what they want….. So what was I, a puzzle piece? Not the main picture?

What was I? A fragment of what was really happening here. The cookie crumbs leading to the big jar?

What am I?- a pitiful loss that the world won't even notice when I'm dead, I haven't even left a mark on society- I haven't even given myself some….importance.

"I warned you." She growled at me as she walked to me pulling my chin as I looked at her. I didn't like when she was rough but I knew she was angry. "Kaisa, pick someone else, love someone else, fall in love with someone else- NOT him. He can put you in such danger that you won't even end up in a coffin- your body might not be found, you could be raped and killed and tossed in the gutter, ripped apart and scattered to god knows where after doing who knows what. Of humans- murders and rapist are the worst, of ghouls- he is the most violent and cruelest thing walking on this soil. He may not be the strongest ghoul but he is a hell-fall from the kindest."

"Enough." Renji said walking up behind her as he pulled her hand away. "Kaisa are you okay?"

"I am." I mumbled looking at her. I knew it felt like someone else was here but I never thought it was renji. There was also another presence but with all these emotions inside me I wasn't sure if my body could concentrate enough on that.

I blushed walking to him as I hugged him tightly burying my face in his chest as I didn't cry but I just wanted his comfort. Renji wouldn't attack me and he would understand. He always does. His presence was calming and I knew unlike Itori who was going down my throat and Uta with his infamous poker face I would receive from him- the comfort, the understanding and assistance with reasoning on what the exact fuck I had walked myself into.

"Do you wish you had fallen in love with Renji instead?"

I flinched.

That's not Itori's voice.

I turned around and looked at him. "Uta why would you say that?"

"Why wouldn't I say that?" He said as he stepped forward and I looked at him. Why was he saying this? "Kaisa, compared to me, he is calmer, safer, and normal. You both have more in common that you even know. He's always a step ahead so you never have to worry about being in danger, he is precautious and unlike me, hides perfectly in the crowd to the point he looks so human it's ungodly that he is a ghoul. Don't you wish…you had fallen in love with him instead? Maybe it would be easier for you to make that decision after he confesses that he likes you."

"Uta, don't say that and you know I-"

"You're always clinging to him." He said stepping close.

"W-What."

Renji pulled me to his side as he put me behind him and I felt how firm his hand was. "Uta, you're getting angry."

"I'm sorry." He apologized kindly and took a step back. Renji's hand slowly loosened on mine as I swallowed. He was getting angry…you mean jealous?

But there was certainly some anger there as well.

I went to the kitchen and with all that was on my mind I was startled when a familiar face popped up in front of me.

"You seem to be doing awfully well."

I blushed lightly. It was the doctor from when I was at Renji's place. "What are you-"

"Come I have a blood test to do on you. I have been working on your samples…" He started talking and I was blinking looking at him as half of what he was saying went over my head. Why was he here and why was he in our apartment more precisely did he say samples?

Samples of what?!

I turned to renji who came in as he signaled for me to come out the kitchen and to the living room to talk to this guy who I supposed had some sort of relation with me. I went in the living room as the first thing that hits me was the paper work on the little table that he had spread out. I guessed he helped himself to coffee since he was drinking from a teacup and I knew there was no way in hell Itori could pull off making coffee for our visitors. I sat down as he came over to me strapping an elastic band on my upper arm as he inserted a needle-

"Ouch." I sulked. He could have at least warned me and I didn't even see him pull that needle from a BRAND NEW CLEAN bag which meant it could be unsterilized. Holy shit I do not know where that needle went or where it has been but it's in me!

"Relax, he's certified" Itori said with a smile. I swear she is packed with personalities she was going to rip my head off earlier.

I watched him take blood as he hummed making a few markings on paper.

"A-Am I okay" I asked nervously. This must be a follow up after the amusement park incident.

"Well there is only one way to find out." He said as he removed a knife holding out my hand as I blinked.

"W-What are you-"

I felt the warm liquid spray on my face as I gasped looking at my arm before me. He had made a vertical slash from my wrist up to my mid arm as I immediately screamed as blood began running.

"What th-"

"Watch."

I was panting like hell at the burning feeling as suddenly….suddenly it slowly went away.

"U-Uta…" I was scared. I watched this gash slowly close up and the pain disappear as he wiped the blood away.

Uta sat next to me and pulled my hand to him as he licked the blood from my hand.

"How long" Itori said as she covered her nose. "It's as good as they say it is…even better."

She sounded like she was stiffening her breath.

Valor looked at me and analyzed the blood as he looked at it. "I would say-"

"A month ago" Uta answered as he looked at me and the red in his eyes were even more alive. "I realized she was carrying a different scent…She has changed."

I looked at Renji as I heard Itori leave the room walking to the porch to get fresh air. "Renji has something happened to me."

"Our blood was transfused into your body, most specifically my blood. You're not completely human. You heal like a ghoul now. And your senses have sharpened-"

"The question is how you continue to eat human food."

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 **I neeeeeed a beta reader like I cannot re-read and see all the errors. Because I wrote it while I'm reading my mind is like skipping over the errors because I know what I'm reading and how I want it sound and blah- I need a beta reader I really really do!**

 **Fun Fact#02: I was a lover of tokyo ghoul- when I started it I had just finished Attack on Titan and I felt like it slipped right into action. I got very obsessed with it until Re: came out and I began hating it like crap. I don't think Sui Ishida is writing anymore everything is all over the place oh back to fun fact yes!- i was going to make it a crossover with Attack on titan!**

 **Recruiting a beta!**

 **please review!**


	26. Dark Discovery

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida**

 **Please enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 26**

 **Dark Discovery**

"I don't love him." I muttered to Uta looking at him whilst he rested me in the bed fixing the sheets by pulling them aside.

He looked up at me pausing as he moved into the bed sitting down and removed his jacket. "You're just too close to him."

"Only because I'm not as close to you."

"You're the closest to me."

"I'm not." I corrected abruptly. I leaned close to him wrapping my arms around his body burying my face in his chest and closed my eyes tightly. I already had enough on my plate, loving him was hard and accepting him was even harder. Then there was the upcoming war and now there is even something wrong with my body- I'm not interested. Itori seems caught up in that and Renji just wants me to take it easy because he seems to understand how mad this was making me.

"I want to see what makes you such a monster." I mumbled looking up to him while pulling away. If he was the monster that Itori pronounced him to be, then I needed to see with my own eyes. I needed to watch with my own eyes as he committed these crimes then at that point I would be able to judge him.

"You wouldn't want to watch." He said to me seriously. He began combing his finger through my hair as I looked at him sadly.

"Try me."

His fingers stopped and he looked down at me in silence.

"I want to try a lot of things with you." He replied.

I would vouch innocence for this man if he had blood on his hands all in the name of love. But was I going to become like him by accepting him? Purposely stepping into this world of chaos, madness and murder, what am I doing? What have I become?

I cringed on the inside as I tried to mentally prepare myself for the sight of him 'eating' someone. Itori did it….more than likely dead of course so did Renji.

Kaisa, stop- it's not a habit it's an actual lifestyle. This is the way they feed.

"Tomorrow night." He started as he began stroking my back. His hand slowly slipping under my shirt and up my skin as reflexively I jolted because his fingertips were cold. "…I'm hosting my monthly auction."

"Auction?"

"I won't tell you, you have to see for yourself." He mumbled as his fingers slid in curves and shapes as I realized he was drawing something. "…that is of course if you are coming."

"I definitely am!" I said smiling as I did love auctions. I never knew he held an auctioning show as a matter of fact I didn't even know Uta sold his art pieces. I'm not surprised what he does is exceptional craftsmanship but I felt extremely excited to be progressing into his inter-lifestyle.

Knowing I would attend an event with him made me feel like we were much closer. "Uta…this is a big step isn't it?"

He looked at me and I could see his mind was pondering a bit. He was a disclosed person. When it came to his fondness and his interest he could beckon a lifetime conversation that would convince you he was beyond the common wisdom of the knowledgeable average man. But when it was related to his personal life, how he lived- how he acted and reacted within his own shell, he was a blank and dead as an empty room, and very mysterious.

"It's a big step." He finally answered removing his hand from my back and sitting more comfortably before me.

"I'm happy." I mumbled looking down feeling my cheeks become hot as I was sure my face was becoming as red as a rose.

"Do you feel different?"

"Different?"

He stared and me and made me wonder was this in regards to all that was happening or to the fact my skin resets when I get scarred. "You mean….with the cut?"

"Yes."

"My body doesn't feel different, and if I am healing like this does it mean I'm somewhat…ghoulish."

"There is actually no such thing. You are either a ghoul…or a human. Well, that was what we believed until 6 months ago when what sounded like a legend we saw with our own eyes. A one-eyed ghoul."

I swallowed. This was some serious BS.

He looked at me placing his hands on my cheeks pulling me close as I was seeing directly into his eyes. "Do you know what's so special about a half-ghoul? They carry immense strength than the average ghoul, and similarly….the are just like ghouls. Luckily they can pass as a human and are hard to detect as ghouls but sadly as humanistic as they are, they are unable to consume 'human' food."

I pouted but then suddenly it ticked. "But- but I have ghoul qualities and I can still eat human food."

"I know. Kaisa you're different."

I didn't know how to feel about that. I placed my hands on his and settled in comfortably against him as I looked up to him.

"What else?"

"One eyed ghouls taste magnificent. Very tasty to gobble."

I pouted shifting a little it now made sense why Itori had stepped out when I began to bleed. But- Uta was the one who licked me. Without hesitating as well. If it's so addicting how did he manage to hold back after tasting my blood.

"Do I look tasty?"

"Very."

I blushed. "How will my little ravenous wolf hold back?"

"He'll manage."

"Are you sure?" I teased as I crawled onto him sitting in his lap and pushing him back flat against the bed. "Let's test that." I mumbled fixing myself as I closed my eyes and went under his shirt.

My lips met his skin as I kissed his abs my hands gliding over his sides very lightly while my nails daringly teased him. I knew he liked this- he was sensitive in very common places but only if I did it right- which I knew I was doing.

I was doing it, completely right.

All the way up I went as I paused licking my way up causing his shirt to roll further upwards and then finally, I opened my eyes to see him.

He was blushing lightly. Holy crap he was somewhat flustered. But the view- oh the fucking view was just so arousing.

"Love?"

He answered me with a soft grunt. I could see it in his eyes that I was tugging at his strings. I moved up to his lips pecking him as I pulling away biting his bottom lip. "Don't take your eyes off me."

He smirked.

I moved to his chest pulling his shirt completely off leaving him bare as I moved to his pec and lick at his nipple hearing him release a gasp. I nudged him and pulled away sitting on his hips as I watched him curse softly covering his mouth.

He's so sexy and adorable like this!

"Kai-" I jerked my hips on his-feeling his erection. That felt good.

This feels good.

This position felt good.

His words were caught in his breath I could just reach for my phone and video this right now.

I moaned softly feeling his sex against mine as my cheeks got red and hot. I could feel my chest getting erected and worse the way he was looking at me wasn't helping.

"Your right." –he started as I felt his hand rest on my waist and began moving me on him. "I can't manage you-, but not sexually."

I blinked.

What?

He moved so fast I was shocked as he sat up and bit me in the nape of my neck.

I gasped softly as it was a mix of pleasure and pain.

"Y-You're biting me- you're really….fucking biting me?!"

He pulled away with a smirk as blood trickled down his lips and he licked it. He seemed please.

I wasn't.

I would have a scar…

I felt my neck and it had healed. I froze looking at him.

So I wouldn't have a scar.

But I still wasn't pleased.

"That was cute. But you won't feel much, and your blood smells very strong so everyone in the apartment probably knows I bit you."

I blushed a little looking away.

"I want to bite you, again." He said as I blushed even redder. Did he not hear my exclaim of shock cause I'm okay with sexual biting but I'm not kay with bite-biting as in the sort of bite that means I fucking bit you!

"B-But you said everyone will know that I'm bleeding."

"And?"

"And…"

I blushed. Holy shit he has gone dominative all over again. He pushed me back and spread my legs as he reached for my shirt tearing it apart.

Okay. This is the moment where the saying 'Don't play with fire' starts making sense. He yanked my bra down as he looked at me and I blushed looking away. This was way too much.

Let's go back to biting. Let's freaking go back to biting!

"You're aroused."

"D-Don't say it out loud."

"Why, you're erected." He pinched my nipple making me release a sharp moan.

"U-Uta…don't play with it like that."

"I'm sorry Kaisa but I have the right to play with them how I want to."

"Do-Don't sound respectful and sarcastic at the same time! J-Just say it how you want to; I know you have a lot more to say." I dared as I watched his expression changed to being slight shocked and then, relaxed.

He smiled at me. "I want to kiss, lick and suck them until they are swollen. May I?"

"No." I said glaring a little at him.

"Thank You." He said anyways as he leaned over and licked one taking it into his mouth as he began sucking. His other hand got busy with pinching, twisting and pulling the other in his fingers. I gasped softly this man- this- fuck it. I could barely think (AN: / so can I!)

Moans escaped me as I laced my fingers in his hair gripping and tugging as I bit my lip I wanted to just be fucked right now. I was tired of the moments and tired of having to stop all the time I wanted to go all the way and feel him inside me.

"U-Uta-"I was left breathless wrapping my legs around his waist as I arched my back feeling completely aroused and hot and needy. I felt his mouth release me as my chest felt tingly with the breeze hit my damp areolas making me feel cold as gasped softly when I felt him squeeze my breast in his hand.

I can't believe this.

My entire body was hot. I mean I have thought about it before but in the mood it makes you realize how much of an animal your body becomes when it's correctly…dealt with.

"This your lesson."

"F-for what?"

"For the next time you feel like you can tease me as you please."

I blushed puffing my cheeks.

I pulled him to me and began kissing him feeling his body pressed against mine.

"Do it- I can't wait any longer just do it, so that we can do it more often…" I mumbled pulling away looking at him staring into his eyes desperately.

"Being desperate doesn't suit you. It robs away from your disposition."

I frowned. "Uta-"

"When this is all done then I'll do it. I'll meet your request completely."

My eyes welled up with tears gosh I felt like a kid right now crying just because I couldn't get his cock. Literally. Yes. I'm crying because I'm unfucked. Damn you Uta.

"You're unfair." I said my voice breaking as I turned away sniffling.

"Unfair no, but wanting to savor you- yes. Is this your desire speaking or your lust? Tell me."

I blushed as I rubbed my eyes no way in hell these tears were going to fall. Hearing him say that made it different. He wanted to savor me- does that mean he wants to do it seriously and not give in because I need it- of course he does. He's being a gentleman about this. Me- well me- I haven't had a sip of alcohol and I'm acting like a horny teenager.

"Lust….it's lust."

He kissed my lips and looked at me as he rubbed my shoulder. "You can last, but I can tend to it every now and then to release you."

I blushed as I shuffled a little reaching for my blanket covering my chest as I looked away. "Sleep over"

"Okay."

He snuggled under the sheet and I felt so comfortable feeling his body over mine and his scent completely washing over and around me drowning me in comfort.

 _Let's forget about being targeted, let's forget about my needs, the drama, the issues, the fear, the problems, the hunt and the chaos- Lets just forget it for a couple hours….and relax._

This was my best sleep in mont

* * *

 _ **A beta Reader is so hard to find. Sorry for the delayed update I can't wait to just upload the next chap to see the response!**_

 _ **Please Review!**_


	27. Acceptation or Consumption of Darkness

_**Tokyo ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida**_

 _ **You guys have been WAITING for this chapter- ENJOY!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 27  
Acceptation or Consumption of the Darkness**

"Too tight?"

"It's- umm…okay."

I blushed looking at the dress in the mirror. It felt tight especially around my waist-however I could feel her grinning with excitement. Who was she to fool me I knew she was still angry.

"You look ravishing, tasty enough to eat."

"I'm not surprised; I bet you're dying to sink your teeth into me."

She pouted. "kaiii chaaaan no ghoul teasing- you know I won't eat you."

I sighed looking away as she fawned her body over mine.

"Why do we have to dress so lavishly for the auction? Isn't it just a regular auction?"

"No, it is a regular auction however it's an auction…you have never seen before. I think it's time I give you the talk- something you should know."

 _An auction you've never seen before? Well I guess she has a point- these are the craftsmanship of my beloved's work which I'm sure are more than rare and unique for the common market._

I nodded as I moved to sit on the stool looking around the room it was decorated like circus inside; from the wallpaper to the furniture everything was themed: Circus. I felt her touch my hair as very lightly she began brushing.

"Ghouls belong nowhere. We have a choice to make in society we basically have two choices of lifestyle: living as hermits; isolated and avoiding society's eyes, or attempt to assimilate with the humans. Living amongst humans is seen as "walking on a thread of rope" because of our biology and social records. If we are caught in ghoul activities or suspected of being a ghoul, investigators have the right to apprehend or kill us as they see fit. We are identified as such can be hunted down like criminals. As such, we will act discreetly or try to hide their faces when engaging in ghoul activities. In Tokyo, we have developed a trend of wearing masks to hide our faces, making the mask the identifying feature instead of our face, some of us form gangs based around our masked identity. Since we are only identifiable by our masks, we are safe so long as our face is not exposed. Some of us rely on our deception and charm to win over our prey. Others have successfully lived in the human world to become higher class citizens. These high-class ghouls often meet in ghoul restaurants where we dine on humans. Higher class ghouls have also been known to keep a human slave, that's how established we are now..."

I was left speechless. They were more profound and civilized that I thought they were. Three things stood out to me though: the mask, the two way street and ghouls having human slaves.

"Your prince bears all three."

"All three what?"

"Kaisa…your my best friend…you're a keen listener and your very, very easy to read. The mask, the slaves and the lifestyle- you're thinking about all three aren't you."

I was halved surprised and embarrassed. Was I that easy to read?

"He makes the mask for all these ghouls, all the hundred-thousands of ghouls that reside in Japan, he sells in Tokyo and has shipments to other capitals. That's a lot. "

"So many masks?"

"A ghoul needs to stay hidden, and I can say he does it silently loud."

I turned around to look at her. "I could say the same about you."

"And you too, let's not forget you're now a ghoul, every police offer, detective and FBI probably knows of your very 'unlucky' case."

"That's being infamous."

"Same difference- you're known."

I turned back around. She was right. Hard to admit it but the red-head had a point. I turned back around to look at her taking in what she wore. She was indeed beautiful tonight. She was beautiful every night but tonight she looked even more beautiful than she usually does. Was tonight a special occasion? What was so special about tonight?

I sighed thinking about Uta as I recalled last night.

"I think I might be….hurting Uta."

"Hurting?" She asked me tilting her head to the side.

"I think me being….mixed- its stiffening his appetite. And even when biologically he tries to be a part from me… emotionally and sexually he wants to be next to me."

Her eyes widened as she looked away and I felt that maybe, she wasn't expecting me to say that. I wasn't expecting me to say that.

"Have you guys….done i-"

"No!" I said getting so embarrassed as my face got blazing red.

For me- it felt worse saying it out loud than thinking through it. I was really hurting him.

"Do you think he'll be able to hold back for long- cause if you don't I think he is more than able to? Uta was very violent in his past and he was wild and murderous killing all he could just for fun. He has mastered self-control to a level that is almost godly. That's how horrible he was."

My lips curled into a small smile, he was far from anything godly much less religious. If he was placed into religion he would be the rank above a true-blood demon. From what I have heard and have been taught, he was _that_ dangerous.

"He-"I paused remembering what he said this morning to me when I was in bed with him. "He told me something…"

"What?"

"He said I was the only one to make him lose control."

"Lies. He is more composed than anything in this world."

I swallowed looking down to my laps. Maybe…he was over-exaggerating?

Renji came in pulling the curtain walking through them as he walked up to us. "I'm heading back home."

"You're not staying?"

"I'm going to Uta's; I'll be there when you come home."

Almost on cue Uta came in as he looked around in his crazy colored tuxedo and mask- I had to admit- he looked handsome even though his face was hidden.

"Oh I just forgot- Uta I have something to show you!" She said in an outburst immediately as she pulled Uta out the room walking away with him as she left me and Renji standing there puzzled.

I wonder why she would do that it's almost like that moment when your best friend ditches you with your crush. Exceeeept Renji is not my cr-

I blinked looking at him. He was looking dead at me. No.

Hell no.

Hell **HELL** no.

Big adorable soft Renji I cannot have my heart skipping a beat this all became awkward because of what Uta had said!

" _Do you wish you had fallen in love with Renji instead?"_

"It won't work." He mumbled softly as he walked to me slowly. I froze looking at him hesitant at first to speak but then my words escaped me when his gaze changed to a stern one. "Kaisa you're stupid."

…wait what?

I blinked. Okay…did he just call me stupid?

"This isn't what you want, this isn't what you deserve. He **isn't** what you need."

"But…I love Uta."

"Do you love him or do you love the idea of being in love with him. Because if you both loved each other, why would you both be tearing each other apart like this?"

 _Wait. Itori left me so we could have this sort of conversation- but why is he saying this to me all of a sudden. Why now?_

"Renji- you're…you're not making sense." I said stepping back. This wasn't the Renji I was used to; the way he spoke, the look in his eyes- it made me feel like he was scaring me into something. My stomach turned and my skin ran cold as I hugged myself. I have a bad feeling.

What was coming out of his mouth I knew what he meant but part of me- part of me didn't want to hear it.

"I can take you from this; I can take you far away where you will have the time to grow apart from him, time to help you fight your addiction."

I paused.

"Addiction? I'm not addicted to him!"

"You are addicted to him- just as he is to you. He doesn't know how to love someone and you are just someone who wants to be loved."

I had to laugh at this. He said it with such a serious face as I just couldn't BELIEVE this was really Renji.

"Let me guess, you can do it properly." I said in a tone full of attitude. He paused looking at me. What now? The cat's got your tongue. "Don't you dare tell me who I am able to love. I can love whoever I want and please."

"Anyone you want- just **not** him."

"More like not _you_. And I'm not just _someone who wants to be loved_ I could say the same about you- **Who loves you**?" I said walking out on a tantrum- how dare he even speak to me like that he was a completely different person, not the warm gentle and loving Renji that I knew him to be. I'm just someone who wants to be loved? You make me so sound desperate and pitiful not to mention cheap and clingy. What if I want to experience that with someone at least I step away from my loneliness to engage in something that makes me happier and not sit in the sadness and loneliness like you.

I paused realizing how offensive that was.

That was very, very offensive.

Why would I say that? Why would I say something so mean to someone who was my friend?

The level of shame that suddenly hit me was as heavy and deep as an ocean. Ungrateful, I'm being ungrateful to someone who cares about me. Cruel- I am being cruel by saying such unkind things and disrespectful, why would I look down on someone who has done nothing but care, protect and help me? I wanted to lock myself away for being so mean and selfish.

I turned around running back in to see him still standing there.

"Ren-Renji- I…that came out so rude, I was upset and said something mean and I never- I never really meant that."

I felt so disgusted in myself, how could I be so mean to say something like that to him?

He turned around walking pass me without a single word as I felt my stomach sank.

I was going to lose a friend because I got upset and said mean things.

"Renji." I walked after him tripping over the dress and falling to my legs. I looked up to see nothing. He was gone.

Did he walk out just like that? It was my fault. I had to go ahead and become this disgusting person by saying something so cruel. I deserve this.

"What the hell are you doing on the floor?" I heard Itori as she came behind me in her mask helping me up.

"I-I fell, aumm-"How would I explain this to her. How do I tell her what I said to Renji.

"Kaisa come here."

"Why."

I turned around to him looking at him.

Everyone, everyone wanted me to end it.

 _Everyone keeps warning me about you…why won't I listen?_

 _Everyone says we should stop._

* * *

"It's a perfect fit"

He said as I looked around his office. Why does he have his own office? I'm guessing he owns the auctioning show. That would explain his clothes, the fact that we came here in a tinted Jeep which made me feel high classed and rich, or more over we entered backstage and obviously the show wouldn't start until we were out there. So he **was** the host.

We came to his office where he sat me down and was trying on a mask he had made for me.

"Do you favor it?" He asked getting a small mirror showing me my reflection as I nodded slowly.

I wasn't interested in this; I didn't want to do this right now. I was more interested in finding Renji and apologizing to him directly. The image of his lonely shoulders when I came back in the room haunted my sub consciousness. I didn't even get to see his face, but the aerating sadness I had sensed so strongly still lingered through me. I had hurt him, what I said had really hurt him.

"Your mind is elsewhere."

I looked up to see him staring at me as he removing his mask. Unlike mine his was a full mask and mine was halved only covering the top half of my face.

He looked at me in dead silence for a while and I felt the air unmoving and heavy. He wanted me to say something but honestly I had nothing to say. I don't know where to put my anger. Was I upset at me or was I upset at him; maybe I was upset at us.

"I'll liste-"

"I have nothing to say. I don't know…what to say."

I looked at him with wet eyes. Was I really going to be okay, how would I sleep tonight?

"Who? Who bothers your conscience so much that you've become absent of your surroundings?"

"How do you even know it's someone?"

"Because-" He stepped closer making himself comfortable resting his cane across my lap as he lightly touch his own hair fixing it- "if it was something or a situation you would have already started talking"

 _Let me guess, I'm easily read by you as well?_

I swallowed the lump in my throat looking away. "I don't want to do this right now, let's just go to the auction."

He looked at me and I could feel him staring. "What happened when I left you with Renji?"

"I said things I'm regretting." I confessed softly as I got off the table fixing my dress. "It's okay. When we go home I'll apologize and I will be able to get it over with."

That's right. He's at Uta's. I can apologize to him properly and take back all I said.

He stepped aside allowing me to walk off as I found Itori laughing with a friend- wait….this is-

"Nico!"

I smiled ecstatically running to him hugging him as he hugged me back.

"Oh~ my wild golden rose in a bristle of thorns you are as beautiful and even more since the last day I saw you~!" I giggled feeling him pull gently at my cheeks as he hugged me again and I watched him pull away to take me in. "Oh how enticing you are my little kai-chan you seem to however have a few lines on your face?"

I pouted. Too many details. You're seeing too much now.

"Who is the one that dares to stress you?"

"Itori chan!" I blamed smiling innocently.

"Bitch I will serve you a thousand deaths if you ever make him touch me." Itori said emitting a deep deadly aura. I grinned even more I forgot that she didn't like Nico touching her unless he wore gloves. Cleaned- sanitized gloves. I never understood why but that was the least of my problems Nico was my boss and friend.

"Oh when do you end this disgusting vacation you claim to be on? It has been almost three blood sucking months that has been wearing my eyes. I'm beginning to lose grasp on what true beauty looks like- I mean- I can always _re-discover it by looking at my own reflection_ buuut I do miss my favorites."

"Has it been so long?" I asked smiling as we all walked out to where the auctioning was being kept. We sat at the Grand Tier in this huge theater that was designed like an opera house it was absolutely beautiful everyone wore masks. And everyone was ghouls.

I sat beside Nico who began ranting.

"This is my treat. I will buy anything you want today all in favor for you to return by **next week** , the orders are piling up and business is getting hard without you- and Itori."

"Aww, his star girls are making him poor." Itori teased as Nico sneered at her it was fun to watch they were so similar to each other yet hated each other.

The curtains pulled as there was a roar of clap and from the darkness gracefully walked my boyfriend. With a swift movement of the hand the place went deadly silent.

What the hell is this?!

I felt small, so very small.

"Do you smell that?" He began as he looked around but never once did he look in our direction.

The crowd was silent looking around as they began smelling. Smiles appeared on their faces as I could hear them hooting gloriously.

"That is the smell of delight, the smell of what will fill our appetites. The smell of a rare being."

I swallowed. I turned to Itori who had an excited expression on her face. She was enjoying this- a lot.

"They are talking about you- my beloved hi-breed"

I panted a little. Why would Uta- I mean, wasn't this dangerous.

He spoke a little and I tried to pay attention but the only thing I could think about was my safety.

Suddenly I heard the sounds of wheels as they were carried in covered cages. Were these the art pieces?

"Chose a box, any box. You'd be surprise what we have in stored this time."

I smiled looking at them, okay- so I get to pick a box and whatever piece in there is mine?

"I chose the middle one." I whispered softly to myself.

Uta began auctioning the middle one first as he stepped forward and opened his mouth to speak. "Starting at 4 million."

" **What!"**

I gasped. I could go university seven and a half times with that money and yes- I did the math that quick! That's 10 years and 3 month worth of rent! That's my entire art collection including my singles net worth x 7.3. I am very serious about money. My arithmetic skills ran on my greed.

Without even realizing, my loud outburst drew the entire crowd to me as they looked at me. Including Uta. I blushed instantly as I looked around growing redder with everyone staring.

I-Itorrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

"Double or nothing!" Nico said loudly jumping ecstatically as the crowd cheered.

"9 million!"

"9.2"

"10 million!"

They began bidding and I was creped out instantly. These art pieces have to have gold in them!

More and more they bid as the figures were too high for me.

"What's wrong?" Itori asked nudging me.

"I mean…their so expensive. I think I'll bid at another round-"

"Oh don't be stupid." Nico said as he stood up batting his lashes as he fanned himself boastfully. "12 million standing and unmoving. Dare to challenge my price and this will be the last time you step foot here."

The crowd went silent.

Deadly silent.

There wasn't a squeak, whisper, mutter or even the quietest form of sound as everyone looked at Nico who grinned fanning himself. His ego stared deadly in the face of all the bidders, his power locking their jaws tightly shut and his ferocious yet graceful aura commanded those who didn't dare in the name of life and sustenance to protest. He finalized it.

He won them.

No one wanted to go higher.

Uta clapped going to the cage as he pulled off the sheet. The sound of his hands seemed to release the oxygen in the room as it felt like my heart had stopped beating in the awkward silence that seemed like it had prolonged forever.

" **Sold."**

I looked as I stared helplessly at the woman in the cage crying. What was…..what was happening?

"The Daughter of Sunwoo Group in Japan who has a rich scent, lovely contour if you ask me and worthy of a decent bite. We had to start at 2 million if you understand. She is no rare human. Net worth of the total of 348 million- Miss Namiko Sunwoo-"He said as he turned to the timid girl who screamed when he came close to her. " **Don't you just feel… disgustingly-** _ **cheap**_?"

* * *

"What do you mean you don't want her, I bought her for you?" Nico argued as my cheeks were damp with tears.

"T-that's the point, you ' _bought_ ' her!" I looked at the naked girl trembling like hell in the cage I was scared as well what was this what was all of this was this what Uta calls auctioning his art because this was fucking twisted and cruel- this woman isn't art.

"I want to go home, please don't kill me, just please don't kill me." She begged repeating like a scratched tune as it was obvious her mental state was deteriorated.

"Kaisa, you need to understand- why do you think we took you here today?" Nico purred.

"You're a ghoul now, and I told you- there are only two ways to live to be as a hermit or to live like humans." Itori said softly.

"This isn't even being human!" I yelled at Itori as everyone was packing up to leave but up to now I haven't seen a sign of Uta. He was the one I really wanted to pick a bone with.

"This- she isn't even a woman she looks like 18!" I said at the poor thing curled up in the corner. She had bruises and scars and dried blood over her body.

"If you're thinking of saving her you're only doing yourself a favor."

I turned around to the voice seeing Uta standing there as he came in with bouquets of flowers putting the large bundle aside. "She's probably been raped…6 times before she came here. Manhandled, beaten, chained, tortured. I doubt she has any common reasoning left. She might scream if you even put too much sunlight on her."

She scurried to the other side of the cage when Nico moved too close waving at her. This was a human yet she looked like a terrified animal.

"Kaisa, you either end up like her, or us- no in between, not out of it. Now….you should know why we brought you here" He continued as he took off his mask.

"Uta. I am very- very upset right now I don't think you s-"

"You do know why we brought you here right."

I looked at him; did he even hear when I was talking a while ago?

"I- _ni_ -ti-ation~." Nico purred softly as I felt his hand slide down my spine.

"Nico stop." I growled getting freaked out.

"This is going to be your first meal. A ghoul needs to eat or else you won't be able to protect yourself."

I looked at him. Was he serious? I was not going to eat this girl.

"No."

He tilted his head to the side.

"Uta. She's not ready." Itori said as the room was so silent. I just told him no.

"She is."

"Uta." Itori said more sternly as she stepped before me.

He began walking towards us both as he halted and struck the cane in the ground and it literally stood. I looked down to see it penetrating the concrete as I swallowed. He was angry- but so was I. I do not want to eat a person and I don't want to kill anyone.

"Kaisa. You are not a human anymore."

"I don't need to eat."

He looked at me and sighed rubbing his forehead.

"She is already bought. Because of your stubbornness, you will watch how it is done."

I blinked.

"You're going to kill her…just like that…"

"Yes."

I argued, I argued like crazy both leaving and on our way home. Why did we have to kill her, why did I have to buy her- even if I never brought that cage there was the other with a young child….what would happen to that little boy.

 _Oh my god._

Uta was a human trafficker. He was a criminal. He was a slave master. He was a murderer- and he was my boyfriend.

This man…was my boyfriend.

When we reached home both he and Itori went upstairs. Judging from how calmly she conversed with him it was easy to read that she had given up already and just wanted it to be done.

"I'm hungry." She mumbled under her breath as she began removing her jewels and shoes. Renji walked pass me and into the room with the girl in a body bag as he opened the door. Ice freezing cold air escaped the heavy door as inside was as white as snow judging from the glimpse I got. That was the room in his house I have never been to.

"Would you like something to eat?"

He asked me looking down at me as I sat in the chair upset with everyone including myself. I didn't answer him.

 _You don't deserve to hear my voice, you don't deserve to get a response- as a matter of fact you don't deserve my attention._

He walked away after a long moment of silence as he returned with a bowl of- **OH MY GOD**.

I ran to the bathroom slamming the door shut as I didn't even have much to bring up, those weren't fake. Those weren't plastic. Those were real eyes and fingers. My legs gave out under me as I collapsed onto the floor as tears began falling.

"I can't do it- I can't do this." I cried as I felt my cheeks getting wet. I can't be in their world I'm not meant to be there and it isn't meant for me. Over and over again they kill and murder and feed. What was I going to do if I got completely tied up in this- I could be charged with pre-meditated murder, murder of the second degree, kidnapping of the first degree, intervening prosecution, manipulation of evidence and because I was the one who brought her: human trafficking. Life in prison was too soft I would face the highest punishment which would be… _death penalty_. I cried more as I couldn't do it my mind felt hazy and I felt lost and confused at the same time. I knew they did it-I knew it was a practice, a habit, a lifestyle- their way of feeding, but I never expected it to be so….real.

"Kaisa! Open the door!"

I looked at it closing my eyes as the tears ran down.

You murder.

You kill.

And you do it with a smile on your face.

The door opened and it was Renji. He entered it closing it behind him as he stooped down to my level.

"I'm sorry." I confessed to him suddenly hugging him as I cried softly. "It's like their completely different persons. I love both of them but they are going to kill her and eat her."

"We have been telling you, from day one. Saying it from you found out. We are ghouls. We feed on humans. We see them as food and sometimes nothing more…it's merely who we are."

I hugged him tighter.

"But she-"

"Food."

I looked up at him.

"Kaisa we don't expect you to fall in line immediately but we do want you to know it as the truth. To show you this side of the world. You- are in this position because of us, we will do all we can to protect you."

I looked up at him as I nodded. I felt a thousand things except ready.

"I don't want to watch them eat her."

"You will."

I paused as I thought back to at the auction.

"You knew this would happen…you were trying to warn me." I mumbled softly as I looked back up to him in sudden realization. "You were trying to take me away so this, this wouldn't happen."

I got up slowly as he rested his hands on my shoulders. I didn't want to this. I didn't want to be a part of this. But- I walked into this. I was warned, I was being stopped but instead I carried on and I was stubborn and here I was regrettably.

After stepping out the bathroom Itori came to me hugging me telling me it was for my own good. I didn't respond. I just took the clothes she gave me and changed out of what I had. I hugged myself walking to the room as the door closed behind me shut.

I looked at the woman strapped to the table her skin scrubbed clean as she wore a thin white linen dress that exposed her body underneath free of any undergarments. Itori was dressed down with a content smile on her face as Uta on the other hand was staring intently at me.

"We're going to begin now." He said as the girl began crying and instantly I felt weak to my knees. I turned around heading for the door to feel Renji's hand stop me.

"I'm sorry Kaisa. But you can't leave until we're done".

* * *

 _ **This Chapter had me going through four different emotions at once. I am soooo happy to be here right now cause this really means a lot for the two's relationship also for Kaisa's progression and acceptance. I am very excited for the reviews to see what you guys think and I hope you're as thrilled for the next chapter as I am!**_

 _ **ps. This chapter is over 5000 words! wooahh, well in my other fics i have an 8000 word chap lol but talk about getting passionate! Review please!**_

 _ **~Universal**_


	28. Consuming the Darkness

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **This chapter deserves and round of applause for how real it gets. I can't wait to hear your responses.**

* * *

 **Chapter 28  
Consuming the Darkness**

I stared at her on the table my blood running cold as standing in this windowless ice-cold room was making my body scream and crawl in _so_ many ways. I wanted to leave. I wanted to step out right here and now but with Renji leaning against the door I knew there was no escape.

"P-Please, don't…..I have parents, I have a life….I have a future ahead of me please don't kill me."

My eyes watered as I began hiccupping.

Her words stung. Her plead for her life made me feel so worthless that I couldn't help her, in fact, it made me feel responsible that I was the one who had placed her in this situation.

"Uta...please," I begged for her. I just couldn't do this.

She didn't deserve to die!

Itori looked at me as she gave me a stern look, I knew she didn't want me to act like this here and now but how the fuck was I to act when I was to watch a person be murdered before my eyes- by my best friend who was like my sister, my trusted and dependable confidant and the man whom I had loved so much that I wanted to spend my life with.

I just couldn't do this.

This was outrageous.

I felt nervous, fearful, pained and sorrowful- with so many other things but not angry.

Why wasn't I angry?

This was my fault.

She was going to die because of me.

I was the one who bought her; she was the subject of my lesson to teach me the truth about ghouls. _To teach me about what i was going to become._

"Kaisa, you shouldn't cry." Uta mumbled but loud enough for us to all hear as he strapped her down tighter and removed his gloves.

"Wh-Why are you taking off your gloves….have you- changed your mind?"

"No. I prefer doing it with the gloves off."

My stomach sank. I could feel it. Everything inside me turning. My stomach was getting sick and I felt horrid to the core.

Itori was standing next to him looking at the female. She lightly caressed the woman's thigh and smiled, "She has lovely skin, soft plush fat underneath…from the way it feels i can tell its really chewy~"

I blinked and swallowed as Uta signaled for me to come closer and I shook my head. No…I didn't want to go any closer to see her.

"I'm not asking. I'm telling you- to come."

"I d-don't care if you g-get upset. N...N-No."

My body shook and I couldn't even keep my breathing under control.

Along with how cold inside the room was, it was also scary because I knew what they were going to do. _How was he going to even kill her before he ate her?_

He moved from around the table and walked to me as he gripped my hand and pulled me behind him while walking towards the crying girl.

I tried like hell to move as I felt him drag me with him to the table eventually coming to a stop looking down at the her.

"Would it be better if we cover her eyes?"

I felt the tears rolling down as I shook my head wiping my cheeks. "No, I- I have to see, everything." I answered sniffling softly.

I have to watch. I have to accept this. I got myself into this. I didn't want to be a part of this but- I walked into this. I was warned, I was being stopped but instead I carried on and I was stubborn and here I was regrettably. He told me, he said it- _would you watch me feed? You wouldn't want to watch._ Why did I push so badly? Now I didn't want to watch; I wanted to take it all back.

I watched him as he gently touched her fingers.

"Every ghoul has a favored part." He said softly as he took hold then bent it back **breaking** it.

The sound of the snapped bone echoed in the room followed by her scream of agony. I watched him twist her finger then rip it from her hand as the skin tore like a stretched fabric causing blood to spray then slowly ooze out leaving the other fingers in a fidgeting twitch.

She screamed out like someone had plunged a knife in her stomach. I could only imagine how painful that was. I covered my mouth in shock as my vision got blurred with tears. I could hear her weeping loudly starting to beg to just be killed. The blood dripped slowly as you could see exposed ligaments and blood vessels and the continuous uncomfortable twitching.

"I favor the fingers."

He placed it in his mouth and bit as he began chewing.

I watched.

I just…watched.

At one point it felt like I was watching myself watch as I realized I had been struck by shock.

One by one he began he began breaking them and ripping them devouring them slowly as she screamed and cried, wallowed and wept- slipping in and out of consciousness.

This was cruelty, this was gut-wrenching...

"I want the arm; the blood flow should still be strong by now so I'll be sure to get a good share." Itori said happily then walked around to the opposite hand as she held it at the arm and broke it.

"Some ghouls like the blood like Itori, she's what you would call a connoisseur "

She began twisting, dragging and wringing as she pulled the arm off a heavy sum of blood spray on her as she grinned licking it off her hand. It was an utter bloody mess.

"You never said she tasted _this_ good."

"You have had better."

She smirked. "I have, but she is fairly decent."

I swallowed watching as Itori broke her arm into smaller parts as she drained the blood into her glass jugs smiling as she watched them fill up with eyes lit with fascination - like a child watching it's massacred insect try to move after losing its legs and wings.

Madness and chaos danced in those eyes. Her grin was almost haunting.

"Oh…Itori you killed her." Uta said in nonchalance.

I looked at the face of the body as her eyes were open staring into the ceiling stained tears running across her face as her mouth was slightly ajar.

She was dead.

My heart stopped. She was…she was really dead.

The body of the dead can do so much to the mind. The frozen life staring dead at you suddenly fading out as the ugliness slowly uncurled in the presence of death from the absence of life that was now there. The dead was ugly. The dead was scary...her dead arm-less body was haunting my mind.

"Cause of death?" She asked looking at her as she touched her lips smiling while playing with her food, running her fingers over her body.

"Exsanguination and shock." Uta said as he pressed his hand into her stomach penetrating it as blood ran like a river.

"Stop Stop Stop!" Itori yelled getting her other jugs as she caught some of it. "Stop wasting blood! I can sell this at the bar at a good price, she could be a C classed wine."

"She tastes like a fair B." He said tasting the blood on his hands as he began opening her. I watched him push his hands under her ribs then open it apart as her insides were exposed. Her heart, her liver, pancreas, spleen, gall-bladder, kidney, stomach…everything.

It was the most excruciating sound I have ever heard. His hands sinking into her chest as he gripped underneath her rib cage. His fingers pressing on her bloody cartilage as the blood squished through the thin-fleshed muscles. Then the beginning of him pulling her chest apart as the ribs creaked and cracked loudly as you could hear the ligaments rip away from the sternum and the gurgling sound of her blood.

He sighed softly when he was at a contented width as he paused to lick his fingers. Her ribs protruded from her body as they were opened up like doors. Stiff, hard, permanent doors that were never to be opened this way or even moved.

He began taking them out as he rested the liver aside and then the heart as he began on other internal organs wrapping them in plastic. "After years of doing this you learn how to enhance the flavor in the human organs, it's similar to marinating the food you eat. Wrapping them in plastic while their blood-"

"Enriches the taste so it ends up tasting juicier."- Itori finished as she gnawed on the hand ripping the muscle off the bone as she chewed it like a tough piece of meat.

I looked back at Renji who stood there uninterested; obviously he has seen this scene a thousand times.

"He's not going to eat in front of you."

I looked at Itori who spoke.

"He won't do something like that before you; some ghouls prefer to eat in private- he's one of them."

I hugged my arm and looked down onto the floor as I swallowed. _Why- why must I be here watching something like this?_

"Taste something."

I looked up at Uta was he mad? I couldn't- I wouldn't!

I shook my head closing my eyes tightly as I heard him walk over to the table with the organs as I heard him shuffle the trays rummaging through something. I opened my eyes to see him walk up to me with what I suppose was a lump of flesh.

"Eat it."

"N-No."

He walked to me holding my wrists pushing me back as I stepped backwards until I hit a wall.

"I don't want it."

"Just have it-"

"I DON'T WANT TO!" I yelled looking at him. "I get it, you want me to see it; you want me to see that this is my new lifestyle that this is what I am. But I don't eat people!- I'm not like you I still eat my human food and I'm really content with that- I don't want to murder people and I don't want to eat like that!"

He looked at me as he tilted his head to the side. "You've suddenly become very interesting." He cooed softly as he stepped close to me our bodies weren't touching but he felt awfully too close.

 _You reek of blood._

I looked up at him staring into his eyes as he looked back at me. "What if I fed it to you indirectly would you swallow?"

I shook my head. "Can't you see…how afraid I am? How scared I am of all of this right now?"

"I can see but I believe you are being over-dramatic."

"How can a person be over-dramatic about watching someone die?"

"It's not the first time," He said as he put it in his mouth and began chewing.

I looked away as I swallowed wiping my tears. "Uta I'm sorry."

"Open your mouth."

His hands touched the skin on my neck as my body immediately cringed.

I rose my hand and slapped him directly across his face.

" **I said no!** Don't touch me…"

The sound of the slap echoed across the room.

It was deadly silent for a while as I felt the other two staring at us.

"Are you scorning me?" he asked as he turned back to me touching his lightly bruised jaw. He was surprised by what I did and so was I.

 _Why did my body react like that….I didn't want him to touch me?_

My blood ran so cold and now my neck was covered in cold bumps where his skin had made contact with my skin.

It was a sudden eruption of instant coldness as my entire neck to shoulder felt numb and foreign to the rest of my body. Why did my body react like that?

"Don't…" I looked down to my feet as for the first time since today this all summarized itself perfectly.

I felt like it all made sense seeing the truth in front of me as I watched what he had done. Thought of who he was. Discovered him for what he did. Understood what he wanted to do and why he did it and finally, truthfully- finally saw him for the kind of creature he was. "Don't _ever_ touch me again."

There was a difference between what I _thought_ I felt and what I **felt** for him. There was a strong difference. And now it was so clear.

"Kaisa…" Itori mumbled softly as she came around the table slowly. Her mouth and chin smudged with blood as her hands were still dripping wet and her body completely drenched.

"You too! Don't come near me, none of you! "I looked up at him as I shook in fear at what his true nature was. "Worse you…Don't ever talk to me again…" I swallowed the lump in my throat as I didn't dare to cry in front of this…animal, "…it's over."

I walked away stopping at Renji as he stepped aside not arguing with me allowing me to leave.

I'm done with them; I'm done with this- they're not humans- their ghouls. They are all the same and none of them is different. I am completely, done with them.

Completely.

* * *

 _ **Wow, so Kaisa is quite determined eh? I hope you guys liked this chapter., feels like my best-written chapter.**_

 _ **Please do stick around for this next chapter, I'm sure your all wondering "why are they doing this to her?". So much is explained in the next chapter that will be an eye-opener for this all. I'm so happy for how far this story has gone and how amazing the plot is! I'm also so happy for all those who take the time to read it, follow it, review it and favorite it. My story has so many amazing readers, awesome opinionated reviewers, its in an amazing community, it gets fantastic recognition and praise and it makes me really REALLY happy. Thank you so much for the ongoing support and the kindness I receive. Thank you for your faithfulness regardless of how much suspense, confusion, time for update and (sometimes) a lot of grammatical error I might throw at you- . (still so hard to find a beta) As hectic as it is to work and go university I try, continue and will do my best to deliver to you at the the end of the day, this story.**_

 _ **With ongoing love and gratefulness  
~Universal**_

 _ **ps. this is not goodbye next chapter is rolling out next week guys.**_


	29. The Darkness Within

**Tokyo ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **Someone asked why I always write that at the beginning of my chapters?!**

* * *

 **Chapter 29  
The Darkness Within**

"It's our fault." Renji mumbled as he looked out the window not seeing her leave yet as he knew one of them would have to follow her home.

Uta was a definite no and Itori was extremely gloomy. Speaking of gloomy he turned to her as she glared at the floor trembling.

"I didn't expect her to react like this- to be honest; I didn't even expect a negative reaction. She _told_ me not to touch her…"

"We seemed to have underestimated the effect of the outcome of making this decision." Uta said aloud for them both to hear.

Renji didn't even want to respond to any of them. He was against this plan from the beginning- he was never with this idea at all.

From that night- he was completely against it.

* * *

 _ **Flashback to last night.**_

* * *

Uta slowly closed the door behind him as he went into the living room where everyone was seated and discussing the upcoming fight. He sat down opposite of them all as Vertigo interrupted to explain his further thesis into what was happening to Kaisa.

"I should admit- although it is believed that a human can never evolve into a ghoul and a ghoul of course not be a human, illegal research and experiments have broken the law of logics."

"You mean Ken Keneki?" Itori asked factually knowing his story fully since Uta, Renji and she have met him.

"Indeed, a ghoul's organs can be successfully transplanted into a human to create an artificial hybrid; he is the first known and perfect example."

Renji understood but he was confused, he didn't see it adding up and neither did Uta. "But, Kaisa did not receive a transplanted organ- to prevent her from dying from exsanguination I manually did a blood transfusion. When we found out she was awake we continued giving her the ghoul blood since it seemed to be the source of her being able to stay alive."

"I believe it's the regeneration- it had an effect on her body," murmured Itori. She had believed that was what had saved her.

"Ghoul blood for regeneration, preventing exsanguination…doesn't something feel odd?" Vertigo asked as he looked at the three that looked amongst themselves.

"For Kaisa…" Uta began leaning forward, "…for her…the blood of a ghoul would act as a foreign substance inside her body, why did her body accept it?" He said realizing what he meant about it being odd. Something _was_ odd- why was she able to be healed with their blood? How was her body able to do that? He had been wondering about it for a while and now in this moment- a lot more.

 _How was she able to do that?_

"If a ghoul's blood is so contagious to make a human transform, what would happen to the humans we bite or the ones we come in contact with? Of course it's very unlikely for our blood or bodily fluid like _saliva_ for instance to make contact with inside a human's body that is _still alive_ but it is as possible as any other disease that involves person-to-person contact with exchange of bodily fluids." Renji said aloud. He had a good point.

"Exactly!" Vertigo said as he beamed with the madness of science. "That's what makes her so interesting! Of course like you say Renji if our blood would this easily affect humans we would be even more threatening to them. They would have quarantines! Call it the C-Virus transmitted by Ghouls who are carnivores feeding off humans and their own kinds. It would be madness just absolute utter madness but even for scientist like us it would be too great of an insanity!" He laughed as he fixed his glasses picking up the papers as he figured it was best to get to the point quickly. "She has basically been pre-exposed."

"WHAT?!" Itori yelled in disbelief as she paused covering her mouth remembering Kaisa was still sleeping. " _What- what do you mean pre-exposed?"_ she whispered in a hushed voice.

"It means clearly what the word says. It's not a foreign substance to her body; in other words, it's not the first time her body has been in contact with blood containing high volumes of RC Cells."

The room fell deadly silent as Itori grinned then suddenly started laughing. She wiped the tears away from the corner of her eyes as she hadn't had such a good laugh since the week started. "What do you _mean_ high volume? **Do you think I run a fucking clinic here- selling my blood to anyone who comes to my front door?** There is no way she can receive ghoul blood if I'm not the one giving her. And these two aren't mad enough to do _something_ like that to _someone_ like her."

Vertigo swallowed as he realized he had most likely unsettled her by telling her the truth. Facts were facts and Kaisa was as he said- 'pre-exposed'. "The average healthy human has an Rc factor of about 200 to 500, while a ghoul has an Rc factor of about 1000 to , for whatever reason, a normal human receives an excessive amount of Rc cells, such as through experiments, they will start to develop ghoul-like characteristics and eventually not be able to consume human food. In Kaisa's case, she's still able to maintain human food."

"Wait…have you looked at her Rc cell count?"

"Y-Yes!" He said as he handed them some charts and readings he had on some messy documents. "From the previous samples I had done experiments on her cells and when I looked I realized she had an Rc Built Cell that every ghoul has."

"What's…that?"

"Every cell has a nucleus. The nucleus is the largest organelle in the cell. It contains the DNA of the cell. As Ghouls our Rc cells contains of DNA which acts as a foundation of our bred. The Rc cell of a human and ghoul is different, even though the quantity is what makes a ghoul a ghoul and a human a human, over time a ghouls' Rc cell will be way more developed than that of a human because these cells are concentrated and stored in a kakuhou. This is where the kagune is formed by Rc cells that have been released from a kakuhou and have pierced through the skin, therefore- these cells would have become different than those in humans because it would become our Kagune." He fixed his glasses and cleared his throat, "N-Now…because of that you can know the difference between the Rc cell of a ghoul and the Rc cell of a human, what I discovered is that she has the Rc cell of a ghoul, in other words, this development cannot just be by the transmission of blood as recent as 5 months ago, this would have to be something grown over time through body growth and anatomical development."

Itori stood up looking at him like he was speaking ass. How can that be when she was a human?

"She is human." Uta stated looking at him, "She tastes human, she smells human and if she passed through an Rc detector she would pass for a human."

"Well….well…" he fixed his glasses on his face again as he went for more papers. "She's not fully human, she's half ghoul. If I am right…she was born like that."

"You're wrong." Renji mumbled under his breath sounding like he just heard the most impossible thing. He rubbed his forehead closing his eyes trying to process it all. "How can you prove that?"

"When I did her physical I was able to get a sample of her brain cell. Unlike most cells in your body, some brain cells are not replaced therefore they can tell your age- Rc factors were traced and this is something she has had- Ghoul Rc cells, not human. She was never fully human to begin with."

Itori groaned in agony as she didn't understand. "You're telling me….Kaisa is a ghoul."

"She is also human…she's half human. Biologically, she is both"

She looked down on her lap. "She….she was born that way…"

"Now, I know this isn't something for public talk, but Kaisa could be, and most likely is- a one-eyed ghoul. It's legendary and most people don't believe it but she could be like Keneki. If she is half of both worlds…she possesses that great power."

Renji stood up as the room went deadly cold. They all looked at him as Vertigo swallowed. He knew Itori wasn't one to upset and he knew Uta was rumored to be the most feared man in the fourth ward who would hang your corpse in his shop as decoration for the customers. However as for Renji he was a very mysterious man and the only thing he knew was this man struck a deadly aura when something didn't please him. A very venomous deadly aura.

"I'm going to check on her." He muttered breaking the silence.

They watched him walk to the direction of the room as Uta and Itori turned to him. "If Kaisa has this power why have we never seen it?"

"I believe she doesn't know she has it herself, I believe her body isn't even aware itself. I took the liberty of researching on her. She is as normal as any human could be and she has records of a clean regular life until recently of course. Something that I realized as well is that she is an orphan."

"Her parents were victims of cold-blooded murder when she was seven. Afterwards they moved her into adoption that was after they had placed her in a Mental-Care Clinic for post-traumatic stress and I think…schizophrenia." Itori mumbled rummaging through her memory. She never knew much as a matter of fact that was almost everything she knew.

"Schizophrenia? She was a witness of her parents' death, something like that shouldn't have kept her in mental care for more than a year and she was there for long. If there are answers to who she really is, I believe that I need to research more into this facility and maybe there can be some truth." Vertigo implied.

"We need to find the name of that clinic, who was her doctor, her reports on her sessions, behavior, interactions and basically everything that took place from the day she was admitted. I don't feel like this murder was any normal murder, between her growing up with her family and them being killed- she lost her most precious memories of what and who she is." Renji said erupting from the hallway as Uta rose up and looked at him opening his mouth to speak.

"There's another thing. This war."

"How does the war have anything to do with her being a ghoul?"

"No, what can she _do_ in this war." He corrected as he turned to Vertigo.

The underground doctor blinked as he looked at them all. "Well, aumm- I mean. The power she has she doesn't know about it, if she did reawaken this ghoul part of her then she would be a force to be reckoned with. One-eyed ghouls…their strength…their power…there has only been one witnessed one-eyed ghoul and its strength is unbeatable and a force to be reckoned with."

"But ken Keneki-"

"-Is struggling. It's obvious. He was once a human himself and now he's a ghoul I'm sure there is a lot of struggle that he is facing to come to terms with his new race. Under the right conditions if she passes this bridge easily **without** having a mental breakdown or scratch on the walls of conscience; she could be in the same or even _worse_ position than him. To us it's the norm but to them it's more frightening than what you can believe. If she overcomes that and unlocks her memory and gives in, there is a chance that she could easily renounce her ghoul form and become invincible. I can say with scientific theories and from different perspectives and countless calculations that there is a high chance. This is because I have already researched that she can transition perfectly into a one-eyed ghoul."

"You sound like you've spent days working on this." Renji said as he walked towards him and Uta began his deadly glare. As much shit that stuttered out that mouth of his, he still remained behind his skills- a mad science-obsessed doctor. Renji could only imagine how he could sit in his wrench-filled gut crawling lab testing Kaisa's samples and creating what could be hundred hypothesizes about her. The charts, the papers, the readings all the way down to the mad look in his eyes, this man was more than deep in this case, he was obsessed. Nevertheless he was getting the job done and as long as Renji knew he was around he wasn't even 10 miles close to Kaisa.

"What do you want?" Uta said walking towards him as he cracked his knuckles. He was getting the vibes too. As much as he felt like she really could pass this and become a ghoul, he had his doubts.

"What if…" The voice sounded so soft and weak as the too turned to Itori, "What if she can do this completely….what would we have to do?" Her voice was soft and on her face you could see the pained expression. She was sad, she was thinking, she looked like she herself was struck deeply by every word the doctor had said.

"Itori are you mad? What about Kaisa? Do you think she wants to give up the peace and tranquility she has of being a human." Renji said as he looked at her staring into her eyes as he was upset she would even want to do this.

"Why not?! She has no one! Can't you see we are all she has? She doesn't have a family she doesn't have an Anteki like you and a shop with loyally devoted customers and followers like Uta. All she has is me- and you….and Uta even you too. She locks herself day in and out in this apartment like a house rat and paints and cleans and cooks and sleeps and basically creates and lives in her own little dandy world. She said it- she said she wished she were a ghoul. This is something she would want….this is something we would want."

" **This is something I don't want**. We were born like this to suffer and hide, be feared and hunted, to fight for grounds and power. She doesn't understand and she doesn't know the truth. She doesn't realize what a golden opportunity she has to live as a human away from a world of chaos, madness and murder. She has what we all which we had- a choice. A choice to be normal and to live freely- yet you want to take that from her because personally you would have the company of her being like you."

"Renji you don't understand. She- she is already in this world. We have already pulled her into this world. You think this is the first time she is being hunted. Before you met her she was almost raped by one of us! We had to kill him and torture him only to find out he was just a small piece of a big puzzle. She is being targeted, followed and scared left, right and center to _living_ death! She doesn't have a choice- she is already in this. She's the peacemaker's woman, the Helter Skelter's Information Broker's best friend and she has the most mysterious man in the fourth and twentieth ward whose force and power is on mark with the peacemaker as her protector. She _has_ the strongest cards to play in any situation yet you're going to tell me she is not in our world. 'The belle of the monsters',' the cherry of the blood bath', 'the rose of fear and madness', that's what they call her in my shop. If you think no one knows anything about and of her you are dead wrong. I'm not the only information broker in Tokyo and the others are doing a damn well job to scoop everything they can to keep her in the highlights all because they know something big is coming. People fear her alone because we are around her, people want to kill her because they envy her, people want to kidnap her because they want to reckon us and people want to start a war to entertain themselves by _using_ her. Your stupid and fucking oblivious if you think this is a _choice_. She becoming a ghoul _makes_ her stronger; it makes her much greater and less valuable. Because she won't just be a measly human, she'll be the one-eyed ghoul that can protect herself and defeat anything that comes in her way. I'm not making this decision because I want her to be like us, I'm making this decision because I want her to **survive**."

He was struck with silence.

Itori, his Itori, his friend he had had for many years stood before him crying because she wanted this to happen. She wanted this badly because for her.

"I still can't…agree to this."

"You don't have to!" She snarled at him. Why was he being so emotional to this he needed to not think so much as a significant other but more as a friend. This was for a greater good. "If we do this, you won't intervene. You won't stop it and you will not- **certainly not** \- try to destroy it or else, when she does turn, I will ensure with my last breath that you never see her again because you are failing to realize the bigger picture."

He looked at her. She wouldn't dare to stop him.

This was not the right step.

Uta had mixed feelings he understood Renji's point of view but he was more lenient to Itori. "What would she need to recover, or activate?"

Vertigo nodded as he looked at Renji as he was scared to speak. "T-To feed of course. That's all she needs to do. But that could be a risk. She hasn't eaten for years, I mean if she feeds and she reactivates she would be at a near-death state as a ghoul who has been severely starved. She wouldn't just eat- she would devour."

"When you say that she hasn't eaten for years, how would she have been able to stay alive?" Renji questioned curiously as he wondered how this was even possible.

"That's what I am explaining. She isn't just a ghoul, she isn't just going to be like Ken Keneki as a one- eyed ghoul. She is literally half human and half ghoul. She _can_ eat human food and she _can_ survive off it. However she **was not** meant to be like that she needs to eat as a ghoul as well. With that aspect dormant and dormant for so long, the level of consumption for human flesh should be very high. The minute she begins feeding she will want to consume consecutively for days to regain her average level. Only feeding can reactivate her."

"So we just need to initiate that. And she will be reactivated."

"You say it like she's a thing." Renji cursed lashing out softly at her as he didn't like this. Vertigo said it could be risky. She would be at near-point starvation. He has seen that state. He knew what that was like and they were okay with putting her there?

"We can avoid the starvation if we feed her constantly." Uta said thinking it through as he devised a plan. "I can supply her with that. The problem would only be feeding her, will she accept being fed."

"She **will** be hesitant. She **wouldn't** want to. Not when her meal will be what she believes to be her _own kind_." Renji said pointing the truth out. She wouldn't want to do it at all. That means gratefully this plan won't work.

"Then we initiate it with her. If we walk her through this it won't be as mean as to have her suffer through it alone." Itori said answering him with what she knew was a fact. She has been her best friend for years and when she was there with her everything was done much easier and she was braver to do it than on her own. She just needed the guidance and support.

"So we just offer her a dead body and feed on it hoping she catches on?" Renji asked in disbelief.

Uta answered him solemnly. "It can't be dead." He walked back to his seat as he sat looking at his hands as he made a fist then released it. "Alive…the meal has to be alive. She needs the raw truth of what she is, baby steps will coat her and what we want is not to fabricate her with the stories that will let her sleep better at nights- but instead the truth. The fact that to eat- we murder, to feed- we kidnap, to live- we discard any thread of sympathy towards humans. She must understand that we can neither live with them nor without them."

(A/N: pun intended*)

* * *

 _ **End of Flashback**_

* * *

He was against this plan from the beginning, from that night he was completely against it.

Renji looked at them sighing as he looked away staring at the wall aimlessly.

"What are we going to do? She doesn't want anything to do with-"

 **Thud**

Renji looked to the door as they all got in motion as he ran and opened it heading downstairs. "That's Kaisa; her heart rate just went up." He said aloud going down the stairs as clearly he could hear her heart beat speeding up quickly as he knew he heard a collapsing sound.

He entered the shop finding her on the ground as he rushed to her aid holding her down as her body shook violently. "A panic attack?"

Itori rushed in gasping as she ran over to her staring at her. This was her fault. This was all her fault. "T-Then why is she shaking?!"

"It could be a seizure due to shock."

"S-Shock?"

Renji held her down trying not to exercise too much strength as she could snap easily if he forcefully pushed her onto the ground. She slowly came to a stop as her body laid still.

"I can hear her heartbeat, she's okay right?"

 ** _Later that Night_**

Vertigo flashed the lights in her eyes as he looked at her watching her stare at the wall. Her face was expressionless however her pupils were dilated and endlessly staring. "She's not okay."

Itori stared back at her face emotionless as she turned back to Vertigo.

"When she woke up after the seizure I thought that it was over. Her face was so calm until she sat up and I realized something was wrong. She's breathing, her eyes are open…but she won't say anything or move."

"It's a Locked-in Syndrome. Technically speaking…she's in a coma."

Renji looked at her and then to the two. "What have both of you done?" The guilt was so strong that even Uta felt bad and responsible as he knew this was caused by them.

"It changes in each person. For most it can last for a lifetime, for some it can last for years, for very little there have been occasions where they it lasted weeks….but there are some that break-through within days. If it's by shock she might be stuck in a rotation of memories and flashbacks or even dreams. This might actually be good. If she is right where we want her…she could wake up activated."

Renji got up as he had had enough of it. That was the good part, the _rarely to happen_ good part. "And if it's not flashback, her recovering her memories, this not being an extension of a simple panic attack?"

Vertigo stood up looking at her and then the three, "Then she could be brain dead…stuck there, forever."

"This can't happen. I mean, she died before right and we saved her, she can't do this again this- this isn't some drama story or a stupid suspense-driven plot of events!"

Uta stepped forward as out of what Itori said she did have a point. "We saved her before so we should be able to save her again when she's dead."

Renji literally wanted to hit him right through the wall- _when she's dead_? So her dying is normal now? So the fact that she can die and it takes place is not a problem? They weren't humans so he couldn't question his humanity but they were still beings under the law of logics and conscience.

Vertigo shook his head as he took off his glasses, "You don't get it- she's not dead or alive…she's just- there."

* * *

 ** _I'm sorry for the late update I haven't been able to perfect the next chapter as I would want (sighs). I'm trying to get it done by the end of the week so you can have it by Saturday. This should be a real eye-opener for what's going on for those who are curious about kaisa, those wondering why would they force her to eat and even those who just wanted the deep intriguing plot. I mean- I'll be honest, having her being human was too boring and her being a ghoul was two predictable- soooo i had pre-planned before I began writing to give it that little twist that makes her special. We all want our characters to be special but not too special or it will just be unrealistic, but without the intrigue and the history it would be boring. I literally invented my own breed well...bi-invented since its my idea plus a mix of Tokyo Re:_**

 ** _I hope you guys enjoyed leave your reviews both negative and positive- I always read. Still searching for beta- ha. Night night everyone~_**


	30. The Family: First Book

**Tokyo Ghoul and all it's affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida**

 **Sorry for the long wait guys!**

* * *

 **Chapter 30**

 **The Family: Book of First**

He rubbed her hand gently as he hadn't even removed his coat when he came in. He only rushed home as soon as he received his news leaving his work almost immediately.

"Why are you overexerting yourself?" He whispered to his wife who only smiled softly as she gave his hands a gently squeeze.

She rose up in the bed that swallowed her small form as her weak frail body, looking even weaker than usual today, shivered with her movement. "You worry too much; I only wanted to take a walk in the garden." Her voice was soft and alluring but very weak and faint, seeing this wasn't how he left her this morning he knew his worry wasn't too much- it was exactly where it needed to be.

He looked at her as his eyebrows furrowed. Sometimes he felt like he never understood his wife but he knew he had known her perfectly well. He sat on the edge of the bed as he gently caressed her head.

"I just wanted to walk." She repeated softly her lips dropping into a small pout.

His hand tenderly slid over her luxuriant black hair that was slightly tousled from lying down. Down its length he went as he laced his fingers through her strands his eyes leaving it before landing on hers.

"You convince me to tie you to the bed sometimes."

"Only if you're willing to play with me."

He blushed lightly looking away as he cleared his throat. "Y-You mustn't be a hassle to the maids."

"I wonn't"

"You musn't worry your husband."

"I dwoon't"

"You mustn't…overdo it."

"I won't"

"Anabelle, you mustn't skip out on your medicines either."

"I dwon't"

"You have a habit of taking them late."

"That's because I'm preoccupied thinking about you, longing for you to come home. _You always make me wait_ " She made an even more adorable pout leaning close to him as she reached for her napkin to cough. She wiped her lips folding the napkin as she smiled returning to giving him his hug. "Welcome home~"

He smiled hugging her a little too tight as he closed his eyes.

In the bed they laid as he kept her company till she fell asleep. Small coughs escaped her as he looked at her body in her arms which was so awfully pale and thin. He gazed into the face of his young wife who despite her youth would definitely die before him, maybe next week, maybe the end of the month... probably tomorrow, but it could even be tonight. He caressed her face smiling at the soft groan that escaped her as her small hands weakly tightened on his clothes keeping him there.

 _Even in your sleep you're fighting for me to stay by your side._

A maiden knocked on the door stepping in as she carried with her two pales of water.

"Sir, it's time for her to be cleaned."

She came in completely and rested the pales on the table as she moved to the drawers to prepare a new set of clothes. Slowly she put together bath oils and treatments used during Annabelle's bath. She walked to the huge windows and pulled the curtains finally prepared to clean her Ladyship.

"Was it the same today?" He asked getting up and walking across the bed to where she had left the napkin.

The maiden's eyes softened in sadness as she nodded. Her name was Volga. She had worked with them for almost seven years serving as the head servant of the house and previously the first maiden of Annabelle from her family. No one knew Annabelle better than her who had grown her like a mother loving Anna secretly as her own. It was no surprise she continued serving Annabelle when she married into the Terresi's household. "The high fever, the vomiting of blood…today when I brought her breakfast…she couldn't see, it was only for a few hours as usual."

He unfolded the handkerchief looking at it stained in blood as he swallowed deeply and gripped it with all his might from the deep pain and anger he felt. "I can save everyone…but I can't save her."

The maiden shook her head as she walked to him holding his hand as her eyes were filled with tears. "Sir Teressi don't say that! No one could ever love Lady Annabelle the way you do. She loves you with all her heart and she knows that this ill-fated and filthy sickness is beyond the hands and ability of what you can do."

"Tsk!" he covered his eyes as they watered and he felt the tears roll down his cheek.

 _I still can't save her!_

Kai Terresi.

He was one of the best known doctors in Italy who was famous for his exemplary knowledge in medicine and his works of curing some of the countries fatal epidemics that would have killed hundreds of thousands if it wasn't for his profound skill. He worked not as a doctor like he used to but in the last 15 years a medical scientist. His most recent of 10 he had spent studying oncology in the hope of curing his wife who was slowly yet surely dying from a brain tumor. He was nowhere close to luck but his experiments where well enough to give his wife days of little to no pain when she was already presumed to die 3 years ago. He wasn't going to give up.

Never.

He had loved her for so long. Even if she was younger than him by much he loved her from whence he was a mere physician working for her family curing and treating her from she was a child.

He wiped his tears as he looked at her smiling at how beautiful she was in her slumber.

"At least she can have a proper sleep." He mumbled as he watched her for a while before leaving her room to her privacy.

He returned to his car as he drove out from the house looking at it in his rearview mirror.

Their mansion was a gift from her father as a symbol of his blessings. Even though her father had already passed away she was living longer than him even though she was sicklier. Her inheritance was great but all too pointless since she wasn't fated for long levity. Moreover her husband would gain it after her death but neither was he interested in riches and gain but more the love and health of his wife and passion for saving people.

He was almost at his workplace as on the road there were very few vehicles transporting. The land was dry and empty. It was by far the second worst season that the small city had experienced where crops and vegetation was scarce. The morning would be foggy and thick but as the sun came out everywhere grew hot and dry. Rain hadn't fallen for months and wells were slowly drawing close to getting empty. Days like these were bad for her. When the air was dry and the place was hot, the tension was thick and there was nothing more that small outbreaks of heat strokes and starvation. Her sickness seemed to favor it well and would strike out blatantly having its own way. It used to be worse; 3 years ago she had migraines that would slip her in and out of consciousness.

If anything made him feel like he was of any use it was his illegal surgery on her to remove some of the deadly tumor that had eliminated most of the cancer's effect. Nevertheless nothing he did helped completely. She would start feeling pain eventually, she would get bed ridden for months, he would have to feed her through IV drips and suddenly, she would thin so much that even he was afraid to touch her in fear that she would just… _break_.

He parked into the lot of the medical facility as he stepped out his car with his briefcase.

"Relax" he told himself fixing his long white coat as he removed his ID so he could enter the facility. "She's okay…She's fine."

* * *

"Sir Terresi it's here!"

"W-What?"

He walked into the labs as there was a big fuss about a new shipment that had landed from Tokyo.

" _A live specimen"_ they whispered.

" _It's alive and it could react."_

For someone with a high status in the facility even he himself didn't know what it was. He took to his friend who seemed more informed as he stood speaking to the chief showing him some documents. Adalhard. Adalhard was short with black scruffy hair and a 'baby face' and a coaxing voice as many women would describe. As eye-catching as he was he wasn't the best of holding a woman who he usually had no time with because of his obsession with his work. Romance aside he was a man of great knowledge and passion for his study of cellular science. For more than 20 years he remained friends with Kai who was slowly approaching his mid-40s. Unlike Kai you couldn't tell his age at first appearance but starting a scientific conversation with him would bore you to death as he would speak what felt like centuries upon centuries of research and science. You would then feel like this was a very old wise man.

"What's going on?" Kai asked walking up to the two. A few people ran pass him bouncing into his sides on his way.

His friend ran to him holding his shoulders as he shook him. "Can you believe it- it's here! It's finally here!"

"What's here?"

His smile dropped as he gave him the 'are you serious' look. He stuffed the papers in the big pockets of his lab coat as he tapped his back encouraging him to walk with him.

"Maybe you haven't heard but I have been doing some research and _found_ a new specimen."

"If you import any more fishes from Siberia our lab will become an aquarium and **not** a research department."

"Yes yes yes- I know that but this little fishy has legs…and arms…..and it can even speak."

He stopped in his tracks as he turned to him wondering what the hell he was talking about. "Have you finally gone mad? Human trafficking was banned a long time ago and with how reckless the economy has become, the western world throwing independences claiming their freedom and rights, you robbing that from a human of foreign nationality makes you a dead man."

"It's not a human." He said as he walked to the Restricted Special-Access Zone offering him the suit as they both began putting it on. After walking through the sterilization room they proceeded into the lab where the lights where shined in the glass cage.

It was a man.

"It's a m-"

"A ghoul they call it."

Kai turned to him looking back at the **man** in the cage as he knew what a man looked like. He was one himself.

"It looks like us, it can stay disguised as us but it isn't what you would _call_ a man."

"Adalhard you're…what are you saying?"

He turned to the woman who sat in front a machine as he gave her the signal. "When we spoke with the Japanese they said we should do this first to justify with our own eyes. Now I will prove to you…that it is not a man."

The female pressed a button as suddenly a sharp blade slashed cross its hand and the limb fell to the floor.

Kai eyes widened as he walked to the glass looking back at Adalhard.

He was about to literally hit him. This was an innocent man!

He was about to yell when long red strings appeared out his body.

What was that?

What is happening?

They were like spider webs knitting away at his flesh as the limb was slowly in the most bizarre and cringing way- reconstructed.

Victor walked behind Kai as he looked at him staring back at the specimen.

"I told you…it is not a man."

2 weeks had passed quickly and kai kept finding himself lounging in the RSAZ where he would look at the subject for hours. He would watch young scientist dismember it for fun as they were instructed that this was high secrecy and no-one was allowed to know of it.

"Your intrigued." Adalhard said walking behind him sitting down as he had his lunch in his hand. Kai had skipped out on lunch today like he had been doing the past few days, weeks actually. Lunch time was an additional hour of research and lab testings- when he was home he slept beside and watched his wife giving her everything he had left in him. His love and attention and the small ounces of energy was all he had left.

"I heard that Isabel wasn't doing so well. My ex-wife said she doesn't even hear from her anymore in letter or by phone. She really wants to take the kids over…I know Isabel loves-"

"She wants to see no one." He muttered looking at the man regrow his leg as his face was numb. He had grown use to the pain and now….the need for death and for everything to be over was clear on his face.

"Kai…this is not alone for you to bear. As your best friend I feel bad too. You spend almost 20 hours every day in that lab testing and studying cancer cells. Even if you can save her kai…her body has become so habitable that it will only regrow in weeks."

"There might be a chance that we can still…that **I** can still save her."

" **We**. Okay…we. You and I were the ones who illegally performed that surgery on her 3 years ago when we knew for sure her last breath was coming. We removed that tumor completely… that was the elimination of nearly 78% of the cancer cells in her body. She was healthier than the average human! Yet- Kai, you and I both know…yet in only 5 weeks they regrew. She has become a hub and production for high cancer levels of cells. It is unavoidable."

Kai didn't respond he only looked at the man. His friend's words were however true. His wife was born to die. She was born to struggle with this sickness, live with it and die from it. So far she wasn't falling short of her destiny at all.

Adalhard remained silent for a while unsure of how he could change the topic. He saw the sadness on Kai's face and how broken he looked at the sound of the truth. He had some of the meal while following his friend's gaze to the new shipment that was the number one research topic in the building. "We broke down the result to reveal it was the cellular construction of it that makes it a ghoul. Other than that it has the fundamentals of a man. It's able to do that regeneration because of the Rc cells it possesses. It can heal almost every wound except a fatal injury. According to japan we should avoid any damage to the vital organs. Those can actually kill it."

He sighed getting up as he was too depressed and unfocused with the mention of his wife to focus on the work before him. He left work heading to his car as after closing the door a burst of rain suddenly started.

 _Everyone must be happy, I should be happy. The rain has finally come and the drought and hunger will end. The crops will regrow, our children will have food, our wells will be filled and the sicknesses with be reduced…yet- in this moment where such joy and happiness in being brewed I feel like the saddest person in this forsaken world. Annabelle…are you happy? Would you want to go out to the garden? I heard that the body can manage the cold rain for 90 minutes before developing a cold. A warm shower afterwards controls the temperature and reduces the chances of a cold because getting chilled causes blood vessels in the nose to constrict, affecting the defenses in the nose and making it easier for the virus to replicate. I might make you stay an additional 10 minutes if you want to. I'll give you anything you want…everything you want._

As the rain pelted down he grew even deeper into his sadness as he began crying. He wanted his wife healthier. He wanted to take her out of that room. He wanted to hold her and walk with her. To watch her smile day after day.

When he reached home the rain hadn't held up even one bit. He found Volga instructing the others to take advantage of the weather to fill the third well and collect additional water and tread the garden.

He solemnly went up the stairs going to his wife's room.

"Kai?" Her voice struck him as soon as he closed the door behind him. He reached for his wet coat removing it and hanging it on the chair.

"Should I ask how you know it's me?"

"Everyone else always knocks, and I could hear the footsteps and also…my husband is the only one that carries this scent."

She smiled softly blushing as she sat up looking aimlessly before her and hands lightly tugging and feeling at the sheet.

He sat on the edge of the bed looking at his wife as he removed his glasses putting them aside. He swallowed taking in the sight of her body.

"So your sight hasn't come back today either."

Her smile disappeared and she looked down into the sheet shaking her head.

"It's only been 5 days…it will get better."

He looked at her. She couldn't see it. She couldn't see how thin she was; she couldn't see how much color she had lost or how distant she seemed. She couldn't seem any of it.

"Anna…"

"Y-Yes?" Her cheeks went red at his sudden call as he hadn't addressed her so formally in a while. Her innocence was overbearing a little as even now her heart beated the speed it did the day he asked her to marry him, promising he wouldn't do anything that she didn't like.

"Don't die…"

The room was silent for a long while…the rain pelted heavily against the windows as the curtains were drawn draping to the floor as the chandelier flickered a little under the weakening current caused by the heavy rain.

"Kai…I won't."

"You don't know for sure. Why are you so positive, how do you know that you wont die? Every day you're getting weaker and you look like your about to die!"

The tears streaked down her cheek as small whimpers escaped her.

His eyes widened in shock as he saw her cry for the first time before him.

He yelled at her.

He raised his voice at her.

He frightened her.

He didn't know what he was more disgusted at, himself for getting angry and yelling at her or the sickness that was causing this.

"K-K-Kai….I'm"

He felt so upset as he watched her shake before him trying to form her sentence as the tears ran down her cheek. He was the worst by far for doing this to her. Talking like this to her. Watching her like this before him made him feel like he should just kill himself. Literally. Maybe after she died…yes…that was perfect…that was accurate. He wouldn't be able to go on living anyways. He could just kill himself after she died.

"K-Kai…" She sniffled looking up at him with wet eyes, "I'm so….I'm so scared."

He was shocked.

He looked at her as he watched her cry like the child she was…she was only twenty one and so young and innocent. She started crying as she reached aimlessly for him wanting to touch and hold him. He was still for a while taking in what felt like shock and motivation. She was scared. She was really scared. He definitely would not let her die.

He captured her hand pulling her to him as he held her to his body crying with her as the rain poured heavily outside. After an hour of long silence he felt her clutched tightly to his body when he came to as her breathing was well stabled. He hugged her a little tighter as he felt her head shift in his chest as he looked down to see her looking up at him.

Her voice slid through the noise gracefully as she moved a little, "I can't see…but I feel like I can see you." Bravely she carried her hand to caress his face as his breath literally left him and he felt his body lit with an electric wave he rarely felt. He blushed lightly as he cleared his throat moved deeply by those words.

"S-Silly. The power went out almost an hour ago…th-there is nothing you can see in this dark room. There is no light." He bluffed blushing heavily. It was not only her voice, it was also her touch. The softness of her skin against his cheek and how warming and smooth it felt.

"But…you are my light."

He looked at her staring into her eyes as for a moment it felt like she was definitely looking at him even though her vision was dulled.

"Annabelle…" Her name slipped off his lips as he leaned over gently pressing his against hers as he kissed her in the darkness. He was careful. She felt so small and fragile in his hand so when he held her like this he was fearful to do too much.

There were like soft untouched roses. Tender and smooth literally lighting the fire in the dark room of emptiness he had inside. The feeling he had from kissing them was as stirring as a thousand waves crashing unto the sharp rocks of a cliff or even the whipping lightening clashing in the dark cloudy sky. It was awakening yet at the same time drunken with passion and desire just brewing a sea of lust. These lips he loved and these lips he favored. His wife he loved and his wife alone, he adored.

"More."

He blushed as he hadn't pulled away properly. He nodded leaning back kissing her lips again this time more passionately as it slowly grew intimate. He gently laid her on the bed his hand supporting the middle of her back as he kissed her lips longer than they had ever done feeling her kiss him back almost on the same level. He rubbed his hands gently over side feeling her smaller frame slowly pressed up into him.

He paused to allow them both to catch their breath as he looked down at her below him. He could faintly see her but from what he saw she was still beautiful with her full pink lips and soft grey eyes. He looked at her. Longer…harder.

"More…"

Her hands laced around his neck pulling him to her as she bit her lip wanting exactly what she said. "…Kai…more…a lot more."

Gently…softly and what felt like the deepest and most sensual- he made love to her like it was their very last. He looked at her sleeping in his arms her naked body curled against his as his own felt warm in the cold and icy weather. He smiled kissing the nape of her neck whispering into his ear blushing softly as he realized the words he had said.

"You sleep so well because you know you are loved"

* * *

 **1 week later**

* * *

"Kill it….kill it?"

He stood up as the chair fell back and he walked to the glass room grabbing some needles and test tubes.

"Kai- KAI! What the hell are you doing you can't go too close to the door. What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm going to kill it!" He growled as he got the knife and stepped into the room closing the door behind him as Victor literally flipped balls realizing that his friend literally stepped into the sealed room. He went and slipped the emergency switch as the vaulted thick metal doors closed shut allowing only a few to escape. He went to the glass knocking it as he tried to get his friends attention. He was too light on the information. That thing had killed almost 300 people!

" **Sooo hungry,"** the man grumbled as he turned to see a familiar face. **"You…every day you look at me…I bet you don't even understand my language…I don't even know which country I'm in."**

"I'm half Japanese." He responded understanding what he said. "How are you able to do that? How are you able to grow back your body like nothing bad happened? "

The man looked at him. **"May I eat you first?"**

"Is that how you survive. You eat people?"

The man did not respond.

"Are their more like you?"

" **I am a race. Just like humans."**

"Then…how can a human become like you."

The man shifted in his restraint and looked at him. What did he just say?

" **Are you trying to make me feel touched? You see me in this lab as an experiment yet you want to become like me."**

"My wife…is dying. If she could become like you and regenerate and heal like you. Then she will not die. She wouldn't have to die."

" **How do I fit in that equation? Must I feel pitied because she dies? I'm dying right now because I cannot eat."**

"You can live."

The man looked at him.

"You don't know who I am but I am someone who can save you if you save my wife. Answer this one question and I will save you."

He looked back in the ceiling as he was thinking.

" **Under one condition I will answer that question. If you feed me."**

"I will feed you."

" **Then you have a deal."**

Kai swallowed. Was feeding this important? He just stroke a deal with him.

"Now…are humans able to become like you."

The man laughed loudly as he grinned. **"You have no idea who I am, or why the Japanese shipped me here but that I can answer."**

Suddenly thick red rope looking live object with sharp edges erupted from him as the entire restraint was destroyed with his sudden strength. This was the moment he was waiting for. To eat a human and gain enough strength to escape this dumb room. A stupid restraint like this couldn't hold him back?!

He attacked Kai dead on as it went right through his shoulder. The ghoul grinned staring at the man who stood there glaring into its eyes. It had been a while since he smelt the amazing scent of human blood. Yes- he was going to devour this man whole he definitely would become strong with at least half of this man.

Suddenly its smile fell. "You…why are you not shocked? I just attacked you. I can easily kill you!"

"I do not fear death."

The ghoul raised an eyebrow. Suddenly the tables turned as kai took a step closer the object pushing deeply through him as it grew thicker with each step he took. "For my wife, for her, no pain is anywhere close to what she feels- this doesn't even hurt one bit."

The tears rolled down his cheeks as the blood escaped his lips, the next step he took was more staggering than the last. He was not going to die like this and even if he did, he needed to save his wife…he needed to save Anna.

" **You are the most interesting thing I have ever seen in my life."**

It removed itself from him as kai fell to the floor wide eyed. It all happened so sudden that it was now he realized how close he was to being killed a while ago. He looked up to the ghoul who went back in the bed lying flat as it looked up to the ceiling.

" **Yes. Humans are able to become ghouls."**

* * *

Leave your reviews. Thank you for reading.


	31. Notice

**Notice**

* * *

Hi everyone. This morning I woke up and checked my emails and came to a review a reader left that was utterly the most touching review ever. Ironically after much pondering I said okay lets go and fix this Writer's Block only to check Fanfiction and realize...wow...its been exactly **A YEAR** (not planned guys I seriously woke up to 120+ unread emails that have grown over time and decided to spring clean my inbox. My advice: do not subscribe to health websites) since I haven't uploaded. I am very sorry for those who I have disappointed over the last six months and to those who probably saw this update and thought it was a chapter and while your reading this your wondering what the hell are you still reading when its not a chapter or why the hell would I do this to you (-grovels- I am sorry for not uploading a chapter but a notice instead) and I am sorry for putting you through extended anticipation. I, honestly feel...like the time has been much shorter...and also honestly- the time has been so long that I FORGOT THE ORIGINAL PLOT. I forgot, I forgot, like I know where the next few chapters will go but gahhhhh...its okay, do not fear, improvisation is the way of creativity...I think. I am so glad that my address and all isn't available to you because I feel like if one of you could u would seriously hit me right now. I have much reflecting and re-reading to do but I will, definitely and I promise promise PROMISE to update once again. This fic is one of my favorites but this audience, these reader- you guys- are literally the best I ever had from all my other fics. Thank you all.

See you in the next Chapter.

Love,  
Universal Sweetheart

PS. I also want to take this time to speak out about my grammar/narration. My grammar is different because my way of speaking is different. A friend asked if English was my primary language and it is. I do speak English however I do not speak American or British English I speak Patois. Your writer is Jamaican. My speaking is so different so how I would say a sentence would be spoken differently by you with the same meaning. I'm sorry if I do not meet the bar of literature but to those who have seen through it and worked with me thank you. My New Friend saw it and I feel you guys would have seen it also and it might or might not have bothered you. I will work harder.


	32. The Family: Second Book

**Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.**

 **This Fan Fic is of my sole ownership and imagination.**

 **Leave your comments below and don't forget to follow and favorite!**

* * *

 **Chapter 31**

 **The Second Book**

Valdith watched her Kai release the unspecified liquid into his wife' body.

"The pastor came earlier today…he said we should contemplate the burial..." Her voice trembled and her grip on the damp napkin she had been crying in tightened. Today had been a hard day for her. Watching the Priest pray a good journey for her master into heaven and then their Pastor sending her off with blessings and goodwill- it was almost like rubbing salt in a fresh deep wound.

She didn't want to even say something like this to him but he needed to know. There was already prepping for her Lady Annabelle`s estates to be handled and shared amongst her remaining family and worse…a day set for the measurements to be taken to build her coffin.

"You make it sound as if she's dead."

"If you take her off these machines…she **is**."

The bedroom had literally been reduced to a testing lab where there was nothing more than tables with syringes, pipettes, beakers and test tube racks. He rose up going over to the bunsen burner as he poured a little of the filling in the petri dish watching it steam before returning to his microscopes. He checked the readings, speculated the results and took everything down in his notebook. A thick leather paperback book that he carried with him everywhere.

"I don't want to go against your belief Sir Terresi; I have my own religious beliefs as well. A belief in a living God and not one of science. She is in pain…she is in a lot of pain. Drawing it out like this is probably more painful than you think it is-"

"Are you telling me to let her die because it would be easier for her…and easier for _you_?"

She blinked a few times holding back her shock. After all the years she had served the family, served her Master and served him, how could he even question her concern…her sympathy- her love? However, he couldn't be more accurate. She watched the time pass as her master fell in 'deep' sleep for months, what seemed like waiting became a cycle of her well-being being eaten away by immense grief. "Y-Yes. That...that is what I want you to do. You believe that you can save her and I have believed this with you for **so long** and I have tried **so hard**. However Sir Terresi, she is like a daughter to me and to watch her fall to a level so low where she doesn't move- she doesn't speak- she does absolutely nothing- she doesn't…even… _breathe_. This machine…this…'thing'- if you take her off it she will become nothing but a corpse- death itself is looming over her but you won't let her go. I cannot watch her be tugged between us and God himself anymore- we are holding her back, you-Sir Terresi, are holding her back. It is time for you to let her go. J-Ju-Just let her go." She fell to her feet gripping the hem of her skirt and cried. The grief and sorrow were far too unbearable for her. "J-Just let her go…she is already dead. Let me bury my master!"

Kai paused slowly rising from the microscope as he turned to her. "Get out."

She looked at him in disbelief.

From deep in her heart, she felt a new emotion, one she hadn't felt in years…Rage. She looked at him shocked until finally, she saw it.

"Come to your senses." She said standing to her feet as she looked at him. "Kai Terresi, I've finally realized it- it must be true- you _have_ gone mad."

He didn't even budge instead he stood firm on his order. He wanted her to leave. "Mad, crazy, obsessed-call it what you want! I won't bury my wife. Not when I have hope."

She looked at him as her eyes softened. What was she saying? How did she even let the anger get the best of her?

She was surrounded by so much doubt and rumors and plagued heavily with depression and sadness that she lost her temper. Sir Terresi was madly in love with Lady Annabelle who was suffering from a deadly disease. Knowing she was going to die he married her; he loved her and tried to save her. He gave her happiness that she knew deep inside had made Lady Annabelle the happiest woman in this world. For someone whose days were counted, he made every single one lasting and memorable.

"I won't give up on my wife…" he mumbled as he walked back to around the table running his tests."I won't give up on her."

More days passed and he watched his wife closely. Maids were starting to leave the estates as he was only left with a small hand count of loyal servants including Volga. Some days he stayed locked in the room watching her, some days her condition slowly improved while on others she would have an active pulse then suddenly it would fade completely. Eventually, she stabilized to a state where she seemed to be in eternal sleep. He wasn't sure if it was working but he was positive that he wasn't going to give up.

* * *

 _ **Later on that Month**_

* * *

"He's so supportive. It's like- we don't even need to constrain him anymore."

Kai looked at his friend who was speaking, Adalhard, and then slowly looked away to the decaying roses at the window as he drank the coffee.

"Kai…what exactly was in that deal you made with him? I know he decided to help you with Anna but what did you promise him? It's like he doesn't even care anymore and if I'm supposed to be accurate…he doesn't even fear us. I feel like he's just co-operating and waiting. I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing."

"I told him I would give him freedom. Send him back to Japan."

The chair pushed back and Kai looked up to his friend who looked like he gave him the worst news possible. "Are you mad?!" The tea had spilled across the coffee table when he had stood up appalled. Now the liquid slowly journeyed across the mahogany and dripped unto the cream carpet making an awful stain. Kai was so intrigued as he watched the material slowly changing color under the effect of the coffee as he subconsciously compared it with his studies. If only cancer was like this if only cancer could be accessed if only it wasn't so stubborn and would accept change to become better. Instead, it destroyed and trampled everything in its path eating everything away like the poison it was. Lately, he was like this, everything was science, everything was cancer, everything was...Anna.

 _His dying Anna._

"We have him for a full year how can you send him back! You're on a higher level than me…you basically have the authority, but this is a grave **conflict of interest.** This research will provide our facilities with international sponsors to grow us significantly! I know she is your wife and you love her to death but you cannot throw your work aside because of your greed."

"You're calling the love I have for my wife greed?"

Adalhard paused looking at him. Kai looked infuriated by what he said but he wasn't going to take it back. It **was** greed. How far was Kai going to go just to save his wife?

" _She is nearly dead_."

"S-S-S-SIR TERESSI!" The maid ran down the stairs holding her dress as she tried to catch her breath in a desperate effort. She looked like she had seen a ghost and sprinted through heaven and earth from it.

"What is the meaning of such outburst?!" Volga cursed aloud coming from the next room covered in flour from preparing tonight's dinner.

"It-It's L-Lady Annabelle, I was changing the curtains when…w-w-when she woke up!"

Kai nearly pushed the maid as he ran up the staircase Adalhard following behind him as Volga looked at the maiden telling her to quickly take over and keep her mouth shut.

When Kai entered the room he saw his wife sitting up in the bed looking around.

"A…Annabelle…"

Her head slowly turned to him as she coughed clearing her throat. "K-Kai." She was very hoarse but sound aside- she looked so different. The color of her skin was so rich; it was a majestic 180 from the pale complexion she carried yesterday. He merely glanced her when he checked on her this morning but surely last night she was very pale with the usual thinness of the fat and flesh beneath her skin. Now she looked stronger, healthier… alive.

"OH, MY GOODNESS!" Volga fell to the ground seeing her master awake and up. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she looked at her in awe and shock. It was really her. She was really awake.

"Anna….how do you feel? How is your body?" He moved cautiously walking to her touching her with such tenderness you could see the trembling in his hand. She was alive. She was truly alive.

She shook her head leaning towards him wiping the tears from his cheek as she blushed a lot staring away her cheeks getting red. "I-I feel okay…Just…embarrassed."

He blushed seeing how thinly clothed she was as he reached for the sheets covering her as he pulled her slowly into a hug.

He didn't want to let go. He was never going to let go.

Never again, not ever.

* * *

The estate was filled laughter and life as only seven months after everything had suddenly changed the once secluded Scientist and Doctor now led what was the most famous research with his best friend Adalhard, Hematology: The Pathophysiology of Blood Disorders and The Epidemiology of Cancer. They made ground-breaking achievements to fight against many disease and cellular infections. His wife, on the other hand, was recovering as well growing prosperously in her estate. She ate healthier now and visited outdoor almost every day.

"What's this one?" He asked looking at the painting draped in the sunlight to dry. He watched her place her brushes down and leave her current one as she walked to him leaning against his body and hugging his hand.

"It's something I dreamt about. I dreamt that I was swimming in a vast red sea. It felt amazingly warm and eccentric."

He raised an eyebrow looking at it as he felt her squeeze him and he blushed.

"Aumm…what do you think about the east wing's outdoor garden?" He asked. It was so beautiful due to the gorgeous rectangular gazebo with lattice between the pillars and a glass roof like a greenhouse. The entire built had been overgrown by lovely roses and vines, plus with the blossoming season, the gazebo became an attractive spot just bursting with colors and fragrances. Underneath it was a fountain that drew a bath for eager birds that made daily trips to their gardens and some that took residence. He never fancied these things but he knew she found beauty in scenes and settings like these. As if the outdoor building was not enough to steal the eye, around it swam vast plants and flowers of different kinds and scent. They graced nicely around the single pavement leading to the structure just luring you in for a journey of nature's finest.

"It's so pretty!" She exclaimed hugging him tighter as he smiled blushing looking down at her clearing his throat. Was she always this warm and soft? Even if she was the one pressing against him. "…Kai…"

"Y-Yes?"

"Am I making you nervous?" She asked looking up at him her eyes staring into his as she slowly reached up and removed his glasses. He blushed even more at her action feeling quite flustered at her removing them on her own. He always felt naked when he had to make such direct contact with her. Worse when she took initiative.

"I'm not, I'm not at all." He lied clearing his throat. His voice was so hoarse he was sure she could tell he was bluffing.

She smiled walking around him hugging him directly as she placed her hand on his chest. "Then…look at me…"

His eyes looked at her staring into hers and he was enraptured almost immediately. Why was her skin so soft….why were her eyes so beautiful? Why even now in the windy weather her hair fluttered so gracefully behind her? Why was she so beautiful… _more than she ever was?_

Her enthralling beauty had him fatally intoxicated every time he looked too long at her, especially lately. She was always so active moving about, never staying one place. She had no interest in staying in the bedroom where she was trapped in for years. His wife was like a pouncing child running on energy from day to night- even if she was tired she wouldn't give up the opportunity to experience anything.

He held her kissing her forehead as he pulled away to see her slowly open her eyes blushing lightly as her lips curved into a delicious smile.

Slowly she pulled him deeper into the gazebo where it was attached to the house as she pulled him to the outdoor lounging couch laying into it pulling him onto her.

She pressed her lips to his, "Here."

"We are outside."

"Here."

"We are **still** outside"

"Here"

"Are you not embarrassed?"

"Here"

"…"

He looked at her for a while as she kept a straight face at first and then she started fidgeting until immediately she was reduced to a plump red tomato blushing literal strawberries as the heat rose from her face.

"It-It-It was s-s-oooo less illicit in my….head!" she confessed turning in the couch giving him her back as she began hugging the pillow as she was literally embarrassed of herself. She had to admit outdoor was outrageous but it was their house and he was her husband and SHE DID TELL THE MAIDS AND ASKED THEM TO STAY AWAY FROM GAZEBO (even though they secretly cheered her on in attempt to reignite the passion that they _should_ have)

"It's okay." He mumbled as he slid his hand under the sleeve and pulled it down exposing her shoulder and kissed it.

She blushed turning around to face him as she released the pillow and gingerly stroked his hair. "…K-Kai..."

He laced his fingers through hers as he carried her hand to his lips softly kissing her knuckles.

"How do you feel…?"

"Hot….and sensitive."

He smiled it wasn't the information he wanted but he did find it amusing. "I meant- how does your body feel…as in…since you awoke."

"You ask me every day…" her voice broke hallway as she pouted.

"I have to ask you every day. Now…do you feel anything different?"

"Yes…"

He froze. She was okay all the way up to now so did something really change? Was it the change in her medication? All he did was reduce the amount of hemoglobin he gave her. The pills were supposed to control her system but could reduce the portion actually alter her health. He rose up deep in thought furrowing his brow as he thought immensely on what could be the direct link to providing her with less and the reactivity of her blood count.

"W-Wait- is it pain? That could possibly mean clotting which can be related to your liver seeing that there is an increase the RC cells. Or maybe the RBC and WBC have weakened over time. Where are you feeling the pain? Is there any itching involved? Maybe numbness in the joint? Or…muscle? Tissue?"

She shook her head. "It's in my chest." She mumbled as she sat up on her legs looking at him.

"In your chest…" He reached into his pocket for his stethoscope putting it on as he placed it on her chest listening to her heartbeat.

"It's a little fast but-"

"It's the pain you cause me."

He froze looking up to her as he mouthed a few of her words not understanding what she meant.

"I'm confused."

"It's not medical pain…it's emotional. When will you ever hold me as your wife and not your dying wife?"

"…I-But….I don't…I mean…I..."

"I don't want to hear it."

He sighed and put away the stethoscope as he moved closer to her. In this moment he realized how stupid and careless he was and maybe…just maybe… a little overprotective. He hugged her pulling her against his body as he gave her a tight squeeze.

"Anna… you were never my dying wife. You were always my wife, just my amazingly beautiful wife."

"Lies, I was dying…I was-"

"You're here now." He interrupted as he turned her to face him and his eyes got wet with tears. This was really his Annabelle her skin was so soft against his skin and lush and full instead of hugging onto her bone. "Annabelle I never- NEVER want to think back to then, there are more things I want now that to think back to those horrible times."

"Like more time together?" She asked as the tears rolled down her cheek and his heart broke. If he could avoid ever seeing her cry like this he would throw his life on the line and thousand times to at least let her forget the faintest feeling of pain.

"Yes, every single time we can, as much as possible." He said as it slowly fell to a whisper when the words died on her lips when he kissed her.

The sunset graced the sky and a light afternoon rain drizzled over the gardens of the Terresi Household. Small yet heavy raindrops crashed on the delicate petals of thousands of flowers, bringing with it a quench of life to those with an insatiable desire to survive. Sad flowers destined for curtained death- their days numbered yet beautifully they strive to survive day by day, to live and never to delay. For like them many others live not knowing when their time shall come, yet maybe a lesson should be taken from these photosynthesizers who are better at living strong and dying young.

In this blissful cold afternoon rain falling from a sky of mixed burnt orange, underneath the young lovers entangled sharing a love most treasured between them. It was warm and slow yet met the core deep inside them both as they treasured a sex that felt like heaven and earth.

* * *

"How is it?" he asked as he paced back and forth behind the door taking deep breaths in and out. For the first time, he hated doctors never understanding how they could be so….slow?

Volga looked at him smiling as it was a sight to behold. It was two years down the road of Anna`s recovery and on the next side of the door, just moments earlier were her screams of pain but all too soon came another. A smaller one.

A new one.

The door opened and Adalhard came out but before he could speak he was pushed into the wall as Kai ran pass him and entered the room to see Annabelle with the biggest smile on her face.

"K-Kai…It's a girl."

He walked up to her to take in a better view of his daughter who fussed a little before finding comfort as she yawned stretching her body and slowly opened her eyes.

"Oh my god…she….she's adorable."

* * *

 ** _I hope you enjoyed this chapter and yes the beautiful birth Of Kaisa. Leave yours Reviews.  
Thank You- Uni_**


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